June 13, 2019 1:59AM
Thank you for being strong. You got this always. You’re unbelievable. I am so so so so proud of you, Sam. Thank you for living.
This is supposed to be posted on my personal blog but it’s here already so whatever. In the past 2 weeks my mother for more than 2 occassions told other people in front of me that someone else is smarter than me. That someone else thinks better, more confident, more brilliant than me. And this is my note for today.
It’s amazing that just a few years ago I wanted everything to end so I slowly punished myself physically and mentally. But today after someone telling my family that I’m smart and my mother answering that someone is better than me, I’m glad that I still have the confidence and trust in myself.
About a year ago I broke down telling my family that I’m tired and I shouldn’t be working this much. It was cute that I have a great opportunity but I wanted time for myself. They laughed and thought it was funny. Few months ago I have a low paying job that everyone around me told me to quit but I stayed. They laughed and thought it was stupid. Early this year I got promoted but it was higher than expected. They got pissed and thought it was unfair that I’m getting more. I was given compensation for my hard work but I wanted to keep it a secret because no one will be happy for me. Few days ago I was given the opportunity to be a manager and I can ask for a higher salary. They decided for the amount I should ask and told me I honestly don’t have the capability and experience to lead.
Sometimes it’s hard being yourself. Especially if you’ve been compared to others because you don’t want to show everything and share what you’re doing, your plans and your dreams. People, even the closest ones to you, will put you down without them knowing. But you always got yourself. You’re the one who can uplift yourself. You know what you’re doing, your plans, your dreams and yourself.
Cheers to secretly getting new job opportunities, to secretly planning a business, to secretly applying for a Masteral, for secretly improving yourself, and for secretly doing more than what others think you’re capable of.
