stab me and fuck the wound @bulldyke - Tumblr Blog

thepinkseashell -> bulldyke

#hi! im valerian. they/he. butch dyke. 20s. black + middle eastern. you guys are always welcome to reach out! <3

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bulldyke

it literally feels like this

#bringing this one back again #sound of the summer truly

and like. the really frustrating thing is like rationally i KNOW that we are not even super compatible at all and i knowwww she is not even good for me and i still cannot stop myself from still being in love with her

#like our communication styles are sooo completely different and we have so many miscommunications on a daily basis #and shes sooo poly and i am really discovering that i am definitely Not poly anymore because i think i am just way too insecure for all that #and like i know that there is no world in which this ever wouldve worked out but i still just love her and miss her and want her to hold me #i think i am also just a little too attached to her because she was the first person ive had a thing with to be genuinely kind to me #after going out with several people who were assholes who wanted to take advantage of me in some way #so i just feel like people either like me because they know they can hurt me or they are kind to me and dont like me as a person #yknow. idk. and then i go back to feeling unloveable #people like the concept of me until they get to know me and then they realize theres something intrinsically wrong with me #whatever. doing fine ...

ok updates on my roommate coworker ex situationship drama we finally had a real conversation about everything last night

#i had sent her a stupidly long text about my feelings a few days ago and we kept putting off talking about it but it finally happened #and idk. i dont know if we really resolved anything but im glad i got some things out at the very least #i was kinda basically like i have been really sad lately and most of that is not really because of you i just feel like i am an inherently #unloveable person and that feeling is just being exasperated right now because im still in love with you and i know you dont want me #and she was basically like i dont think youre unloveable and i dont think theres anything wrong with you but i just want to be friends #which like. i already knew. but still ow #and then she was asking about bringing someone shes dating to where we live/work and i was like that will make me sad and uncomfortable #and she was like i can try but i cant make any promises and i will at least give you a heads up if i bring someone over #which is like. nice i guess. but still like. idk #like you know bringing her over will make me feel like shit about myself right now. but whatever #idk. i dont think things are really going to get better for me i think i am just going to be sad and miserable and in love with her forever #whatever.

waterbody

cormorant. Emeryville CA, May 2009 / iPhone 3g /

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02void

06-18-2025, 9 AM

suburbanscrimshaw

Matilda

interdimentional

theleoisallinthemind

South Kordofan state, Sudan. Nuba. Kazuyoshi Nomachi.

9e978e

via

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diana-andraste

Mermaid, Bob Carlos Clarke, 1980

rachalbradley

Rose McDowall (Strawberry Switchblade)

Glasgow School of Art

Scotland, 1982

buddhabrot

Happy Juneteenth!

aaaa i missed this earlier but ty anon ily!! :) <3

sarah-lyse

Kiki Smith,

Untitled. 1992, beeswax, microcrystalline wax, cheesecloth, wood, and pigment, 28 x 36 x 24 in. (71.1 x 91.4 x 61 cm)

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calcifiedred

"Diver," 2026. Photo transfers onto cotton, freshwater pearls, fish hook, thread, colored pencil, gloss medium, gloss gel. dimensions: slightly smaller than my hand :)

(re: ur last personal post) fingers crossed that it makes things better!! communication is always good :)

how are u doing otherwise valerian? hope all is alright and that ur doing well 🖤

thank you ilysm <3. if nothing else i definitely feel like a little bit of a weight has been lifted just getting all that out even though i am not sure how she's gonna take it. but yeah i mean i do think that communication is probably for the best even if that feels really hard right now

#i love and appreciate u anon <3 #but yeah other than that i have been ok #the thing with this girl has been taking up a lot of my mental and emotional energy as of late #but things have been good otherwise #im going on a trip for work next week that im really excited about!#there was some drama with the planning of it so im hoping its not a total shitshow. but im still excited nonetheless #i hope you are doing well too! <3

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