my only redeeming quality is my optimism

Tasks that take 15 min but 3 hours if you include the agonies

i think what morbius needs is a third cinematic release. that will make it successful

everyone talks about how tumblr should make an @everyone feature, but I have another proposal: an @anyone feature. this tags a few users at random and there’s no way of predicting who it will be. this will also solve nothing and make everything worse

What am I? A catholic? A heretic? A woman suffering from female hysteria?

Also, if the sale collapses on Elon's side, he owes Twitter $1 billion. It'd be really funny.

likes charge, reblogs cast

going to be honest with you. Fuck is not even a swear word. it’s just. a word. he’s like a brother to me

fuck i am so sorry society treats you this way. you have done so much for me. you ARE a brother to me

I always forget how youtube is literally unusable without an adblock until I have to be without one

liberty mutual wants me to care about their stupid fucking emu so bad but I will not. no one will ever care and no one thinks this is funny. your stupid ass emu will never be a cultural icon. you will never make the next geico gecko everyone will think these dumb fuck emu ads are stupid forever. liberty mutual marketing executives must be sent to the mojave and made to wander one hundred years until their bodies are rent asunder by the sand and their blood boils in the heat