Fisuniakata

photo source | MY TUMBLR BLOG |

I am the type of person who hates girlfriends that make little issues a big deal. But I never thought that I would be one, too. 

You say that I am the perfect girlfriend that any guy could ask for. And you are too damn blessed to have me on your life. But I don’t believe you. Cause I see myself as your ‘stress-bag’ that you always carry everyday. 

Cause I always fight with you. 

I get mad at you when you don’t put emoticons or laughs on your text messages.

I overthink when you joke about something that hurts me. 

I get mad at you when you fall asleep unknowingly while we are having a conversation through the phone.

I get mad at you when you don’t make a lovely goodbye message or even a goodnight message. 

I get frustrated when you are 15 mins. late.

I blame you for your past that hurts me. 

I get mad at you when you mention something that you didn’t know would remind me of your past I try to forget. 

I get mad for almost everything. And you know that. And I know you hate it. However, every time you try to explain yourself out, I would fire you out with my long, full of drama, and nonsense self pity messages. And when all you’re trying to say is that you love me, I would say I don’t believe you and I would break this whole thing up 

That’s how screwed I am. 

And every time fight, I expect you to explode, be mad, and leave me. Because that is what I used to before. But I was wrong…

You keep your temper. You let me say what I say. You give out all those pleasing and precious words a man could say. You understand me. And never did you suggest a breakup. You never did. 

You stayed. 

And I always ask you why you never get tired of loving and understanding an insecure and selfish bitch like me. You’d laugh and say, “Tanong pa ba yan? Mahal kita. Sapat na rason na yun. Masaktan na ako, maging okay ka lang. Wag na ako, ikaw lang mahalaga. Ganoon kita kamahal.”  (Is that even a question? I love you and that is enough reason for me to stay. I’d rather be the one hurting instead of you. That’s how much I love you.)

I am not the perfect relationship partner.

You are. 

You are the blessing I don’t even deserve. But here you are, holding me. 

And for our 6th month of being together, I’d like to make a promise that I will try not to pick a fight with you anymore. I promise.