Public Writing
An idea taking shape as I read through my notes. Lately it's been reading like a diary, but not in a daily sense rather a moment-to-moment translation of my emotions and thoughts as I'm feeling them. A paranoia, a secret code, a secret message out in the open. Paranoia: even with my eyes locked on the page, the words I'm writing could be transcribing the people walking by, staring at me. They are staring because they might think I can see them. A person writing at a park or in a public space is almost less innocent than a person taking a photo, and way less innocent than a person painting en plein air. Instead of an image, the object hidden in the writing is filtered through a world of thought, of words/language. I'm not seeing you (I'm looking at the page), but I'm thinking about you. (This is the point where that thinking loops into paranoia. Reflexive, I read what I write, and what I write is that people are staring at me [or so I think])
If you get close enough you might be able to read what I've written. Lately, drawing on the train or at a park has felt more comfortable than writing, even if what I draw is visually schizoid or paranoid. Walking by a man writing secret messages in the park. Walking by a man writing secret codes in the park. Trapping thoughts in scribbles, and then looking up. I'm not wrong am I? I think there's more than just paranoia to this idea.
