Hi!! I'm bug, (Yes my username is just a silly name lol) and this is my safe space for my agere content that I can share, create, and put out into the world!! I reblog stuff and have fun!! I'm a overly empathetic autistic, and I'm 20 years old. NSFW DNI PRETTY PLEASE!!
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Kiddo whoâs so used to taking care of themself. Making their own pasta, cutting off their own crusts, filling their own cup, putting bandaids on their own owies. Kiddo who spent so long taking care of themselves and self soothing they donât know how to act with a carer now looking out for them. Instinct tells them self soothe, to be quiet and take care of it themselves.
Their carer finds them all the time, standing on a stool to stir pasta theyâre making, muffling their cries with a teddy bear or cleaning up their own scraped knees. And carer is trying to be patient, rushes in and tries to take over so kiddo knows theyâre not alone and theyâre being taken care of now.
âI tan do itâĶâ
âI know you can, button. But I wanna do it for you, okay? I like taking care of you.â
sweet little baby laying in their crib, giggling as their carer plays peekaboo with them, babbling in excitement. their little hands reaching up to hold the plushie their carer holds over their sweet little face, fingers brushing the soft fabric as their carer sweetly coos at their tiny baby.
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âą â âą . THINGS TO DO WITH YOUR REGRESSOR FOR BABYRE âą
bottle feeding: you can find them a nice, safe bottle at the store! just make sure you know what liquids are safe for a bottle. you can also get them stickers to decorate the bottle with, or decorate the bottle for them! i feel like this might also be a really fun way to help littles on liquid diets eat (depending on what type of liquid diet they're on)!
swaddling: this is super easy, just get a big enough blanket (or blankets) and wrap them up all tight and cozy!
burping: bodily functions are completely normal and sometimes people need help burping, including baby regressors. rub their back in circular and vertical motions gently to help out.
make a nursery: now, this is kinda out of reach for most people in their physical house. BUT games like the sims exist and collages are also a great way to do this! you could also do it with magazines laying around if they wanted a physical collage of a nursery. you could then try to add things to your life related to the nursery like a DIY crib mobile or window clings and stuff
naptime: a lot of babies need naps, lots of rest is necessary to grow! make sure their sheets are clean when possible, get nightlights or noise machines. or find ambience on youtube to help!
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regression, at its core, is a trauma response. many of us have been the subject of abuse, negligence, and several other unspeakable acts that no child should ever go through and use regression as a coping mechanism to process, come to terms with and hopefully heal from their personal trauma. be mindful of this and refrain from entering their safe space with the intent of policing or harassing them as well as sharing possibly triggering details of your own experiences. of course you can relate to their struggles and express your sympathies, but please vent about your trauma on your blog rather than the tags or comments of their posts or their inbox.
here you go!! i'm having a time of it lately, so I'm sorry it's not as good as my usual ones :(
i fee miss delight as a regressor def plays teacher all the time and can be suuuper bossy to her dolls. when she's done playing teacher or dressing up her dolls, she goes to the game station to play!
boundaries between a regressor and caregiver - what are they and how to put them in place ! [a guide]
i often get people in my inbox saying "quinny i wanna ask my bf/gf/friend/etc to be my cg!!" which is great and awesome !! i'm so happy you found someone who you feel safe enough to regress with !! but, you little ones need to be mindful that finding someone to be your caregiver is only half the journey!!
so, here is a [mostly] compressive guide to agere boundaries !!
What are boundaries?
In simple terms, boundaries are the invisible lines we draw for our friends/family/significant other so we can feel respected in relationships!
These can be emotional, with examples such as :
Please don't discuss [insert triggering subject] when I'm present
Please don't shame my interests
Please don't lie to me
These can also be physical, which examples such as :
Please don't hold my hand without asking
Please don't sneak up behind me
Please rush me while I'm speaking
Boundaries are cool!! Can I have some?!
Of course you can kid! Boundaries are for everyone!
How can I set my boundaries?
Well first, you have to identify what your boundaries are! This is fairly easy!! Ask yourself some of the following questions,
Do I feel safe when [insert a specific action] occurs near me?
Do I feel loved when [insert a specific action] occurs near me?
[Examples of actions can include; yelling, lying, raising voices, etc etc.]
Once you figure out what your boundaries are, you can start vocalizing them! It might feel scary at first, but in the long run it'll lead to healthy communication and relationships :)
Find a time to sit with your regressor/caregiver to discuss both your boundaries, allow the conversation to be a two way street- be open to listening to your partners boundaries and answering questions [within reason].
This does not mean to allow your partner to pick and choose which of your boundaries they listen too. It simply means be open to further explaining how they can respect your boundaries- this could be a learning process for both of you !!
How do boundaries apply to caregivers and regressor relationships?
Let us get one thing clear, boundaries apply to every type of relationship. You and your boss at work, you and your teachers, you and your second cousin's dog walker...every type of relationship has boundaries because well, everyone has boundaries!
Regressors are allowed to have boundaries.
Caregivers are allowed to have boundaries.
It's important that we communicate these boundaries with our regressor/caregiver otherwise an incident can occur that can lead to an unhealthy/unhappy littlespace/carerspace.
Common boundaries that regressors may have :
Don't swear when I'm regressed
Don't shout at/around me when I'm regressed
Don't touch me on my [insert body part]
Common boundaries that caregivers may have :
I'm not comfortable with helping you [insert task]
I'm not comfortable discussing [insert topic] when you're regressed
I need space before I'm ready to properly caregive
if you've vocalized your boundaries yet find that there is a cycle of them being disregarded, then you may not be in a safe dynamic :(
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Things other people do that ( personally ) help me regress easier !!
ðĶĒ Talking to me like a child ! Having someone talk to me the same way you would talk to a young child ( using a baby voice , kind of patronizingly , gentle encouragement , avoiding heavier topics ) helps solidify that regressed mindset easily . It also helps a lot when people use nicknames for me such as little bug , little love , little one , sweetie , baby , kiddo , etc .
ðĶâ⎠Encouraging me to feel my feelings ! When I'm regressed, offering a safe space for me to express how I feel , both positively and negatively , is crucial for me to stay regressed . This includes comforting me during tantrums or reassuring me without being asked to .
ðïļ Taking care of me ! Enforcing some rules to give my day a little routine when regressed helps me feel little . Rules might include : A bedtime , set times for hygiene , rules related to meals , etc . Although I personally don't like rules that are too strict , or these rules being enforced when I'm not regressed . Another part of taking care of me is when people gently encourage me to regress ! I often get scared and hesitant to regress due to my own insecurities , especially when I'm regressing around someone else . Having someone who encourages my regression and is happy to be around me while regressed is amazing. This might include little keywords / phrases that encourage regression as well ( ex. " you're too little for that , " " why dont you go put on [ agere show ] , " " how about you go get your stuffies and get comfy " ) .
âïļ Encouraging / engaging is activities with me ! Putting on a show that helps me regress , treating my stuffed animals / toys as if they're real and have lives of their own , allowing me to ramble about stuff I love , etc all helps me regress ! Another thing is : imaginative play !!! Even if its as big as actively engaging in play or just encouraging me to talk about my toys ( ex . " oh ? the stuffie did what ? why did they do that ? and how did the toy respond ? thats so cool ! ) , it all helps !
âïļ Celebrating achievements ! If I'm regressed and I tell someone something and I seem proud of it / happy about it , it makes me SO happy when they are visibly proud of it / happy with me too ! This can range from things like eating , taking care of myself , or even just finishing a coloring page !
âĢïļ Encouraging my regression when I'm NOT regressed ! This is a major thing as I have BPD and struggle to believe that people love / care about me . So when someone encourages me to regress ( especially when it's cause they want to take care of me ) it means the whole world to me ! This can be done two ways , either directly asking me to regress or ( my personal favorite ) subtly encouraging me to regress !! Examples of subtle encouragement are : " you seem stressed , little one , do you want to turn on [ agere show ] and get comfy ? " " darling , why dont you take a break from [ stressor ] and color me a picture ? " " i love you , kiddo ! " , etc ) ( even just using petnames and talking to me like a child to encourage me to regress !!! )
Refer to your big self as an older sibling. instead of "I'm gonna go have some time in little space." try something like â> "my big brother says it's littlespace time, so I'm gonna go get my coloring book while he's away!"
Practice nesting! surround yourself with warm blankets, pillows, and anything soft that brings you comfort. Have items nearby that will keep you occupied, such as a book or tablet.
Try to make your nest small and cozy, so you feel small too! A great way to ensure the space feels small is to drape a blanket over it, pillow-fort style.
Use littlespace affirmations! You can use littlespace audios or simply imagine them. Phrases like "You're so tiny" and "Can you reach that, little one? No? Let me help.." work very well for me, but for you they might be different! It's okay to experiment and find what works :))
Watch cozy or nostalgic media. It could be something you watched when you were younger, or something newer that simply brings you joy. Try to focus on the story rather than yourself to make the transition into littlespace smoother. This can help keep your mind off of anything stressful that might be holding you back.
Reminder: be kind to yourself! Regressing is a coping mechanism for a reason. You can regress whenever you need and/or want to! Tell yourself you're allowed AND you deserve to feel safe and small. Reminders are a little thing, but they help to soothe insecurities and worries over time.
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