Buckeye Nerd

Corey Barnes

Today the American Hockey League’s Lake Erie Monsters announced a multi-year affiliation deal with the National Hockey League’s Columbus Blue Jackets starting with the 2015-16 season. Lake Erie will serve as the top developmental affiliate for the Blue Jackets – the AHL to NHL relationship is akin to that of AAA baseball and MLB. The move makes geographic sense for both parties. Previously the Monsters were affiliated with the Colorado Avalanche (1,335 miles apart) and the Blue Jackets partnered with the Springfield (MA) Falcons (695 miles). Now a brief two hour trip down I-71 will connect these two hockey clubs.

The Monsters began operations in 2007-08. They reached the Calder Cup Playoffs after the 2010-11 season, but lost a seven game series to the Manitoba Moose. This season they will again miss the postseason; their record is 33-29-8-4 (78 points). The Monsters are only the most recent in a proud, if fluctuating, history of hockey in Cleveland dating back to the Indians/Falcons of the 1920s-30s, original Barons of 1937 through the NHL Barons, IHL’s Lumberjacks, a newer AHL Barons, and now the Monsters. The team has drawn well, averaging 8,143 fans per game which is fourth in the league and well above the league average of 5,437.

The Blue Jackets began operations in the 2000-01 season. The club most recently reached the 2014 Stanley Cup Playoffs, but fell in the first round to the Pittsburgh Penguins. The CBJ suffered an unusually large number of injuries this year and missed the postseason by 9 points. The Jackets employ a physical, stifling style of play. If you are a fan of heavy checks and strong goaltending you will no doubt enjoy the players honing their craft at the Q this fall.

@Corey_ Barnes

If, like me, you’re a Cleveland/Ohio State sports fan you’ve probably been asking yourself the same question for the past few weeks: “Why?”

Why did Braxton throw those interceptions?

Why didn’t the Buckeyes’ secondary jam Watkins off the line of scrimmage?

Why does Jimmy Haslam think he’s the smartest man in the room when he might be an idiot?

Why did Chud get a raw deal?

Why is Andrew Bynum’s spirit broken?

Why did Asdrubal ground into a double play in October?

I have no answers for you. I’m just an angry, disgusted, emotionally wiped sports fan from Northeast Ohio. I, and likely many of you, have had a rough go of it in the world of professional and collegiate athletics. There is no magic bullet for what ails these teams. They are struggling and likely will continue to do so. It makes me wonder – I’ve always liked sports, but what if they don’t like me back?

Why do we care? Perhaps that is the one “why” question it is time to ask. Being a Browns/Indians/Cavs fan is like the worst kind of drug. You get the cravings when it is denied, but none of the high when you get it. Season after season. Year after year. So why do we care? My best guess: we want to be amazed. Sports are hard, no matter how easy the pros make it look sometimes. We want to see a game that blows us so far out of the water we can’t see the shore. I have precious few stories that I would tell my future grandchildren, but the ones I have I hold dear. We want to be swept away by the crowd. We want the Hollywood ending, the Disney moment of victory. So why don’t we get it? I honestly don’t know.

I don’t believe in curses. I don’t believe in jinxes, voodoo, The Force, or lucky socks. I believe that sometimes the team I want to win doesn’t win because they are not better. Take the Buckeyes for example. They were missing their best cornerback in Bradley Roby. Noah Spence was suspended for the game. Christian Bryant has been gone since September. That is not a defense that can stop a Sammy Watkins type player. That young man made the Men of Scarlet and Gray look like Boys all night long because he was just a hard matchup. Sports are hard. Sports are stupid. Sports will make you laugh, cry, and throw something (sometimes in the same night). But we keep going back to the well because we want to be amazed. And someday we will be.

The Orange Bowl ended about an hour ago as of this writing, so I’m typing in raw emotion right now. If nothing else take solace in this: I’m angry too. I’m disappointed and bummed and just annoyed. Everything you’ve felt over the past few weeks I have too. That’s one thing you can’t take away from sports: they create community angry mob, we can be together in that frustration. I hope that is some solace.

@Corey_Barnes

John McGraw stood at the end of the dock with a lineup card in his hand. Well, it had started as a lineup but now featured enough scratch marks and shorthand that a chicken could mistake it for its tracks. The cleanup spot for today’s game was giving him trouble.

Ruth?

Williams?

Mantle? Nah, Mantle’s been a slump ever since St. Peter got in his ear. McGraw wished ole’ Pete would mind the gate and stay out of the locker room. Sure it’s a shame that Peter has to get the day games on the radio but up here the broadcast is perfect so he can’t really complain.

McGraw lifted his cap and wiped his brow. Hot one today, but then again summers in Heaven are not for the faint of heart. Where was his delivery? He heard a voice from behind, “Sweating already John?”

 McGraw turned to see Connie Mack grinning at him. “I know you’re nervous, but at least wait for the game to start.” Mack turned and spat through a hole in the clouds (tobacco was of course strictly prohibited in Paradise but old habits die hard, even after death).

McGraw mumbled something nondescript to Mack but didn’t want to address him further. McGraw never cared for Mack, even in eternity. Plus he despised getting fraternal with the competition the day of a game. Mack persisted.

“Where are your boys playing next week, John? Ebbetts? Sportsman’s? Riverfront?”

“League Park”

“Ah, the pride of Cleveland’s East Side. I’m sure Ruth will be happy to get back there.”

Mack was infatuated with Ruth, and for good reason. The slugger had 20 home runs over the first fifty games. This made McGraw nervous. Little Napoleon knew the rules; he could only protect him for one more year in the draft and Mack was enough of a sly dog that he would strategically tank to snatch him that season. Begrudgingly he conceded, “Yeah George is eager to get back on the road.”

Of course up here, “the road” is a relative term. The soul cares little for movement and the Good Lord is kind enough to bring the ballparks to the teams. And when the Cherubim sing the National Anthem? Forget about it. Everyone cries whether they want to or not.

If Mack perceived McGraw’s disinterest in his presence he ignored it. “Yeah I got Cy pitching today. I don’t mean to brag, but that curve of his is really a dandy this year. He might be up for his own award!” Mack choked out a laugh that could have doubled for a cat struggling with a hairball. The kind of joke you laugh at when you are just HILARIOUS. “I’m excited to see Mathewson in person today too.”

Even McGraw had to let slip a smile. Ah, Christy Mathewson. In life and now after death that boy still made him proud. 373 wins on the mortal coil, over 1,800 in the clouds. Still the workhorse, McGraw would need Jeremiah’s chariot to get him off the rubber. Mathewson would indeed be pitching today and his fastball was showing some serious life (no pun intended). He hoped Mack’s boys were ready.

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNKKKK

A giant ship let loose its bull horn as it snaked through the clouds. The Titanic deftly maneuvered up to the dock with its cargo following closely behind. Hubert H. Humphrey’s Metrodome was once the pride of the Twin Cities. Now it was just another ballpark McGraw had to investigate.

Mack whistled. “What were they thinking? A dome? That cheap felt carpet in the outfield? What a shame.” For once McGraw had to agree. The ‘Dome was not trying to be a pretty ballpark, it was economical. The city had a football team as well as baseball and they both needed a home so the Metrodome came to be. Now it had been torn down and sent up to The Big Bullpen in the Sky. It was McGraw’s turn to inspect it for defects, of which there would be many. Muggsy had to appreciate the system that the Lord put into place. Have the managers take turns inspecting the newly arrived ballparks, they can make some recommendations, and The Eternal Umpire would handle the renovations. Simple, elegant, holistic. Still, McGraw sighed. He had a lineup to finalize and wanted to chat with Speaker about his swing.

McGraw could care less about the ‘Dome. The ballparks he wanted, the ballparks everyone wanted, were on Chicago’s North Side and Boston. Wrigley Field and Fenway Park were the gems that remained out of their celestial reach. It’s hard to complain in Heaven without sounding ungrateful (it is Heaven after all), but most of McGraw’s players acknowledged that they missed the Green Monster and Ivy. 

But rules were rules and so long as they existed on Earth they would be unavailable in Heaven. McGraw would have to wait. “You want any help looking it over?” Mack inquired.

McGraw looked over at Mack. Love thy neighbor, do unto others, all that mantra came to McGraw and he decided that a little fraternizing with the enemy could be acceptable. “Sure,” McGraw conceded. “If you want to, but I make the final decisions.”

“Of course, of course.” Mack proceeded into the ‘Dome. “We are going to dispose of the baggy in right though, aren’t we?”

John smiled, “No argument here.” The two managers, adversaries in the afterlife, walked into the ballpark together, united by the love of baseball.

“So whom are you having hit fourth today?” Mack asked.

@Corey_Barnes

As the curtain rises on the Cleveland Indians’ 2013 season, a lone figure walks to center stage. At 6’5” and 29 years old, he is long, lean and in the prime of his career. The right-hander stands at the mark and simulates throws for the audience while his 2012 numbers show behind him: 5.40 ERA, 17 losses, 1.51 SO/BB. Most in the crowd want to throw tomatoes, a few reserve judgment with roses at the ready. As the assembled descend into argument, Ubaldo Jimenez keeps throwing.

This year is the third and perhaps final act of The Ubaldo Jimenez Show in Cleveland, and the first two-thirds of the performance have not impressed. Jimenez joined the Tribe from the Colorado Rockies on July 30, 2011. On the day of the trade Cleveland was 1.5 games out of first in the AL Central, and Ubaldo’s acquisition was met with great fanfare. “Finally the Indians were buyers at the deadline,” fans raved.  “Here is the missing piece, that key mid-season pickup that so many great postseason teams make,” critics lauded. So what if we had to surrender two top-tier prospects and shell the farm system to make the deal? There was champagne to buy and playoff tickets to print. Those bottles sadly remained corked as Jimenez went a pedestrian 4-4 with a 5.10 ERA in Cleveland and the Wahoos missed the postseason yet again. The following year was hardly better: 9-17, 5.40 ERA, etc. Indians GM Chris Antonetti pulled the trigger on the deal partially because of how affordable (and lengthy) Jimenez’s contract was. Cleveland didn’t want a three month rental; they wanted a workhorse on whom they could depend. So far Ubaldo has been less workhorse and more jackass on the North Shore. But could 2013 be another 2010 for the righty?

Few pitchers had a better year in 2010 than Ubaldo Jimenez. Playing in hitter-friendly Coors Field he compiled a prolific 19-8 record, a 2.88 ERA, and a 2.33 SO/BB ratio. In 221.2 innings of work he surrendered only ten home runs. Ten home runs a mile above sea level. The national media took notice too: Jimenez played in his first All-Star Game, finished third in the NL Cy Young vote, and received votes for NL MVP (finishing 23rd). The Dominican had it all. So when his 2011 campaign began with five straight losses there were some concerns. As Colorado’s fears grew, Antonetti smelled a sale coming and put together a package for the pitcher.  He felt the Indians were in a window of contention and the move would pay off. Perhaps it still will. The deal was made and we know what happened next in Cleveland. What galls some Tribe fans is what the club had to give up to have Ubaldo’s show in town.

Cleveland selected Alex White with the 15th overall pick in 2009. The following year the Tribe grabbed Drew Pomeranz with the 5th overall pick. Both had pitched in college and the team considered them a future staple of the starting rotation. So when they were dealt to Colorado in 2011 at the tender age of 22 the club had decided that they would mortgage the future for the sake of a pennant race. Present value of money and all that. As Ubaldo struggled that year many fans paid rapt attention to White and Pomeranz, eager to see what had been given up. Both players made it to the Rockies rotation last year but neither made a positive impact. White: 2-9, 5.51 ERA; Pomeranz: 2-9, 4.93 ERA. Pomeranz has reportedly looked better in Rockies camp this year and will get his chance with a team that has relatively low expectations. This past December, White was sent to Houston for Wilton Lopez and a player to be named later. He too will have spot in the rotation as Houston is as inept at baseball as it gets. So as of this writing neither has exploded onto the scene enough to drive Tribe fans to the bottle. Their five year difference to Jimenez does give them a slightly longer leash though. No doubt many in Cleveland wish them well.

Corey Barnes

I still remember where I was when Bill Selby hit that home run. It was Sunday, July 14, 2002 a bright day in a lost season. My whole family was gathered at my grandparents’ house for a Sunday lunch that quickly evolved into a Cleveland Indians watch party. My whole family loved the Tribe and having the Yankees as an opponent only raised the stakes. The Wahoos were attempting to come back from a 7-0 deficit, and were making it a game. They trailed 7-6 with the bases loaded in the bottom of the ninth as New York closer Mariano Rivera shed delicious, anxious sweat. Third baseman Bill Selby stepped into the batter’s box…

In 2002, I was 12 years old. For a child raised on Cleveland’s nineties success, it was a strange season. For most of my life and all of my active memory up to that point the Cleveland Indians were winners. Period. They won divisions, they won pennants, they always contended, and they almost always made the playoffs. By 2001 someone telling me we had won the division was met with the same level of excitement as if he had said, “Oh look, the mail is here.” The two were not far apart in my mind – both consistent, both relentless, and both inevitable. We could hit, run, field, and pitch. The pitching was my favorite part and no player captivated my imagination like Bartolo Colon.

Between 1997 and 2001 Colon was a terrific pitcher for Cleveland. He amassed a 65-41 record with an ERA of 4.09. I cared little for advanced metrics back then; the only thing that mattered was that he threw hard and struck people out. Colon averaged 7.9 K’s per nine innings those years, and his strikeout-to-walk ratio was 2.06. My brothers and I would marvel at his strength as the big right-hander ratcheted up 100 mph fastballs in the ninth inning of a complete game. Add in his generous proportions and Colon appeared to us on the same plane as Zeus or Superman, more legend than flesh and bone. So when I picked up The Plain Dealer on June 28, 2002 the world made a little less sense.

“INDIANS RAISE THE WHITE FLAG Colon trade likely first of many for rebuilding Tribe” Trade? Rebuilding? What was this about? As I read Paul Hoynes’ article I couldn’t quite understand what was going on. General Manager Mark Shapiro had traded Colon to Montreal for a slew of young players. To my 12-year-old brain it made no sense. Colon had a 10-4 record. He was pitching his heart out. You don’t trade good players; you trade players you don’t want anymore. I read the names of the bounty Shapiro had hauled in. Phillips. Sizemore. Lee. Stevens. Who were these guys? Over the next few days a litany of new words penetrated my consciousness. “Prospect,” “Three year plan,” “REBUILDING.” That last one galled me more than any other. Why rebuild? It’s not so bad. These are the Indians, they’ll win the division. They always do.

On the day of the trade the Indians were 36-41. The club was in third place, 7.5 games out of first. While they weren’t quite in striking distance the team still had a puncher’s chance to catch Minnesota. Until Colon got dealt. Cleveland went 3-7 in their next ten games. Then 4-6 in the ten after that. By mid July the team had slipped down the standings and checked in at 10.5 games out of first. They were finishing a three game set with the Yankees, desperate for some good news.

Joel Skinner was still getting used to the manager’s office. Three days previous Mark Shapiro continued his demolition of the club by relieving skipper Charlie Manuel of his duties. Skinner moved from the third base box to the top step of the dugout and some said if he did well enough the position could be his next year. On July 14 Skinner called on Chuck Finley to start the game. Finley struggled early. The Yankees plated four in the first without getting more than a single at a time. Jason Giambi lined a double deep into left in the second to score another run for the Yanks. Finley struggled all afternoon and couldn’t escape the fourth inning. By the end of the frame New York led 7-0. Meanwhile Mike Mussina was masterful for the Pinstripes keeping the Indians off the scoreboard most of the day. According to baseball-reference.com, after Chris Magruder flew out to start the Cleveland sixth, the Yankees’ 7-0 lead plus the situation gave them a win expectancy of 99%. Omar Vizquel and Ellis Burks both singled to set the stage for Jim Thome. Thome was beloved by all, especially in 2002. There was a lot of fear and speculation that since he was in a contract year the slugger might leave for greener pastures when the season ended. Colon’s trade and the talk of rebuilding only fueled these rumors. Today, however, Thome did what he did best: knock the leather off the ball. His homer off the Moose brought the score to 7-3 and left the door open for the Indians. Cleveland plated another run in the 7th thanks to an RBI double from Vizquel. New York’s bats turned cold and they mustered a mere single in the last three innings. The score remained 7-4 until the ninth inning.

Mariano Rivera jogged out from the right field bullpen. I knew who he was, but it made no difference to me. I had faith that this could be a game worth remembering. It was immediately clear that Rivera was off his game when John McDonald and Eddie Perez led off with singles to put men on the corners. The tying run came to the plate in the form of Chris Magruder. He grounded out, but McDonald managed to score, cutting the lead to 7-5. Omar came through singling to right. The whole family was in the room now, hoping for something special. Burks doubled to score Magruder; it was a one run game. Naturally, Jim Thome was intentionally walked to load the bases. Travis Fryman followed with a strikeout. Two outs, bases loaded, down one to the greatest closer in baseball, and would all come down to Bill Selby.

Selby was 32 and a career minor leaguer. He was in the midst of yet another middling season and would play his final professional game the following year. In such a high pressure situation I couldn’t understand why Skinner didn’t bring in a pinch hitter. Maybe he froze in the moment. Or maybe he just had a good feeling about Selby that day (at the time he was one for four with a strikeout) Who knows?

The count ran to 2-2 on Selby. Rivera’s next pitch came in on Bill and he was all over it. Listening to Tom Hamilton’s broadcast of the game he thinks it’s a routine flyout at first. But as the wind catches it and it starts to carry his excitement level rises. By the time it reaches the Yankees’ ‘pen you can scarcely hear him above the din. The crowd of 42,573 roared like no other. Selby rounded the bases and was met by a joyous mob at home plate celebrating the club’s 10-7 victory. Meanwhile my family hooted, hollered, and celebrated along with the rest of the city. I remember being so overtaken by emotion that a few tears escaped. I believed and was rewarded and it was a pure, innocent baseball moment.

I wish I could say that win sparked a winning streak that culminated in a return to October but you and I know that’s not what happened. The team lost more than it won though Skinner did a decent job. By season’s end the Indians were in third place, 20.5 games out of first. New players and managers were coming in. Change, turnover, and rebuilding ruled the day. Cleveland wouldn’t reach the postseason again until 2007.

Hockey is a Cold Man's Game.

The Big Ten has taken it on the chin in the past five years of football bowl play.

Only Iowa has a winning record, going 3-1.

Northwestern and Wisconsin have both egregiously underperformed of late, though the Wildcats did win their bowl game this year.

This once proud conference needs to get back to its winning ways.

Despite this year's 2-5 mark there is good news: as of Tuesday morning, Ohio State is bowl eligible again.

@Corey_Barnes

It’s December and the Browns are in the postseason hunt. No it’s not the 1980s. No it’s not an alternate reality. Yes, they have as much chance as Elmer Fudd against Bugs Bunny. But still, the math is there.

Cleveland is currently 5-8 with three games remaining. To make the postseason they first and foremost need to win out. The team hosts the Redskins on Sunday, goes the Denver in Week 16, and closes out the year against the Steelers in Pittsburgh. The Jets, Steelers, and Bengals are currently ahead of the Browns in the postseason pecking order. Here’s what they need to happen:

The Jets need to lose one of their last three games. (@ Titans, vs. Chargers, @ Bills). The road seems easy for New York, but when your “missing piece” is Braylon Edwards you’re pretty much waving the white flag.

The Steelers need to lose this week in Dallas and in the finale vs. the Browns. HOWEVER, they need to beat Cincinnati in Week 16. Playoff pushes make for strange bedfellows – we’ll disinfect those sheets in January.

The Bengals need to lose out (@ Steelers, vs. Ravens). Two critical divisional matchups to close out the year will challenge Cincinnati and both games could honestly go either way.  

So if all of the above happens then all four teams will be 8-8. The Browns own the tiebreaker over the Steelers by having beaten them twice. Cleveland would have a better divisional record than Cincy and a better conference record than New York. This would send the Browns into the postseason for the first time since 2002. This in all likelihood will not happen.

Assuming each team has exactly a 50-50 chance of winning, and the Browns need seven things to happen to make the postseason, the odds are 0.5 ^ 7 = 0.007813 or a 0.78% chance of happening.

In all honesty, the Browns have a decent chance against the Redskins on Sunday, especially if RGIII doesn’t play. However, Denver is never a fun place to play for opponents and Pittsburgh may have a legitimate playoff spot on the line the last week of the year. So even if the Browns can’t make the playoffs they can still keep the Steelers out, which is music to the ears of all Clevelanders.

Corey Barnes (with apologies to Margaret Wise Brown)

One Indians fan reflects on his favorite player being traded.

“Goodnight Choo.

Goodnight throws coming in from Choo

Goodnight “Choooo” cheers serenading you

Goodnight RBIs

Goodnight sliding dives

Goodnight seventeen

Goodnight fave Korean

Goodnight speed, and

Goodnight power

Goodnight contention window, closing by the hour

Goodnight star

Goodnight fanfare

@Corey_Barnes

The Browns can make the playoffs, and I think I’m losing my mind.

I do mean the playoffs this season and I do mean the Browns. I’ve determined that if 16 things happen over the next four weeks, the Cleveland Browns would enter the postseason as the sixth seed in the AFC. It won’t happen, but it technically could.

I’m confident that it won’t occur, but my brain can’t convince itself of that simple fact. I’m perilously clinging to reality as if I’ve fallen over a cliff and am hanging on by a branch and pinkie nail. Yet I’m not wrong. The math is enabling my psychosis.

The Browns are currently 4-8, a full three games behind the 7-5 Steelers for the final playoff seed with four games to go. The Dolphins, Bills, and Jets are all 5-7. The Cincinnati Bengals are 7-5, the same record as Pittsburgh, but thanks to tiebreakers Cincy currently sits on the outside looking in.

So here is how it goes down:

The Browns obviously would need to win-out (vs. Chiefs, vs. Redskins, @ Broncos, @ Steelers).

The Dolphins lose two of their last four games (@ 49ers, vs. Jaguars, vs. Bills, @ Patriots). I predict those road games will do the trick.

The Bills lose two of their last four games (vs. Rams, vs. Seahawks, @ Dolphins, vs. Jets). The NFC could easily polish off Buffalo in two weeks.

The Jets lose two of their last four games (@ Jaguars, @ Titans, vs. Chargers, @ Bills). With Mark Sanchez at the helm I am confident New York will find a way to lose at least two of those games.

The Bengals losing all four of their games would be most convenient, but losing only three would work so long as two of their losses are to the Bengals and Ravens. (vs. Cowboys, @ Eagles, @ Steelers, vs. Ravens). The Browns and Bengals split the season series one game apiece so divisional becomes the first tiebreaker. A Cincinnati collapse would leave them at 1-5 in the AFC North which the Browns could easily trump with a 3-3 mark.

The Steelers lose three of their last four – including the finale against the Browns (vs. Chargers, @ Cowboys, vs. Bengals, vs. Browns). This would leave the Steelers and Browns at 8-8 and Cleveland would own the head to head tie breaker. Assuming the Bengals have completely melted down in this little world I’ve created, Cleveland would make the playoffs. See? Simple.

Assuming that each team in each game has a true 50-50 chance, and I need 16 independent games to work in my favor, the odds are 0.5^16 = 0.00001526 or a 0.001526% chance of happening.

Take a look at what I just wrote. Those are clearly the incoherent, desperate ramblings of a deranged sports fan who is so hurt up for faith that he is digging through the margins of the newspaper begging for even a thousandth of a percent of a chance. That is what being a Browns fan will do to you. Some turn to alcohol, others simply lose their minds. My drug of choice is Hope, and it is the single most insidious demon a sports fan can face. Hope can help you through a long playoff drought, but it can also leave you a blubbering wreck after the fourth quarter. I am Charlie Brown (ha. wordplay.) running at the football and Hope is Lucy pulling it away. I know she will, too. But I let her do it anyway because those few steps leading up to the kick are almost as good as connecting toe to leather. Almost.

In my heart of hearts I know I am setting myself up for disappointment. This is at best a 6-10 Browns team. Considering the team’s youth that would still be an achievement. Six wins would be the most since 2007 (oh God that is a depressing stat). The offseason will be riddled with questions but a few writers next year will try to be chic and will pick Cleveland to contend for a Wild Card spot. Technically, they are in contention now, even if it’s only a shadow of a chance. My better judgment is begging me to jump off this train of thought, but I just can’t. Until they are mathematically eliminated, Hope will live on. Who knows, maybe I’ll be right. Maybe Lucy will keep the football down this time. By golly, Dawson will kick that ball clear to the moon!

@Corey_Barnes

For the Browns to make the playoffs, the following must happen.

Cleveland wins its last five games (@ Oakland, vs. Kansas City, vs. Washington, @ Denver, @ Pittsburgh).

This would leave their record at 8-8. Currently, there are six teams ahead of the Browns before reaching the Steelers and Colts who are the current wild card holders. All teams in parentheticals would be the ideal teams to lose against – mostly NFC opponents or division winners.

The Bills (4-7) need to lose two of their last five games (vs. Rams and vs. Seahawks).

The Jets (4-7) need to lose two of their last five games (vs. Cardinals and @ Jaguars)

The Titans (4-7) need to lose two more games (vs. Texans and @ Packers).

The Chargers (4-7) need to lose two more games (vs. Panthers and vs. Raiders)

Then it gets tricky.

The Dolphins (5-6) need to lose three of their last five games (vs. Patriots, @ 49ers, and @ Patriots)

The Bengals (6-5) need to lose four of their last five games (vs. Cowboys, @ Eagles, @ Steelers, vs. Ravens)

The Steelers (6-5) need to lose three of their last five games (vs. Browns, @ Cowboys, @ Ravens)

Pittsburgh only needs to lose three because then they and the Browns would both have 8-8 records with Cleveland owning the tiebreaker two games to none. This situation can also work with the Bengals losing only three of their last five so long as two of those losses are divisional. If Cincinnati and Cleveland both end up with 8-8 records, the tie break would come from divisional records since they split their head-to-head matchup one and one. If all the previous happen then Cleveland’s divisional record of 3-3 would edge out the Bengals’ 2-4 record.

So is it impossible? No. But let’s assume for every game that “needs” to go down, there is a straight 50% chance it will.

So ½^23 = 0.0000001192 or a 0.00001192% chance.

@Corey_Barnes

With Saturday’s 26-21 victory over That School Up North, The Ohio State University Buckeyes did what few believed they could: capped off a perfect season. The Buckeyes won four non-conference games followed by a clean sweep of the conference to finish a sparkling 12-0. Unfortunately, because the Oakland Raiders’ third string quarterback wanted some free tattoos two years ago the Buckeyes will play in neither the Big Ten Title Game nor any postseason bowl game. While it is tempting to wonder how much further OSU might have gone, it is much more productive to appreciate the year that was.

It all started in Gainesville. January 1st of this year Ohio State lost 24-17 to the Florida Gators which buried a 6-7 season, their worst since 1988. The 2011 campaign was a shambles at the best of times and a trainwreck at the worst. Even with the addition of Ohio native Urban Meyer and a “Meyer’s Seven” of assistant coaches few pundits had Ohio State pegged for more than seven or eight wins. The incoming recruiting class was unremarkable and many key skill players were perceived to be too young to make a difference. Some ventured to say that the bowl ban was coming at an opportune time. They reasoned that few would lament a chance to play an ACC school in the Meineke Car Care Bowl. Still, the Buckeyes started the year ranked #18 in the AP poll.

Miami (OH) and UCF did their job as college football appetizers to set up a home game versus the Pac-12’s California Golden Bears. Despite some tense times during the second half Ohio State walked away with the 35-28 win. They were 4-0 before their game against Michigan State in East Lansing. OSU willed themselves to a 17-16 victory giving Meyer his first Big Ten win. It was about this time that whispers about perfection began. The players had little to say on the matter, they had Nebraska to prepare for.

The Buckeyes blew the doors off the Cornhuskers in Columbus. Then a preposterously close win over Indiana and a “did we seriously go to overtime against Purdue at home?” win against the Boilermakers put the Bucks at 8-0. Earlier in the year, the Big Ten ruled that even though the Buckeyes and Nittany Lions were ineligible for any kind of postseason play, their games and records would in fact count. Therefore, both teams would be eligible to win the Leaders Division. While it has almost none of the glamour of a conference championship, a division title meant a trophy and t-shirt were still on the table.

The only team angrier than the Buckeyes this year was Penn State. Burdened with a four-year bowl ban the Nittanies were playing amazingly well considering their situation and felt a win over the Scarlet and Gray at home could balm the season a bit. Braxton Miller had other plans and led OSU to a 35-23 victory. The following week Ohio State retained the Illibuck trophy handily to hit the bye at 10-0.

The last time Ohio State went to Madison, Wisconsin they lost their number one ranking, undefeated season, and pride. This time, the Badgers took their guests to overtime before Carlos Hyde scored the finishing touchdown and the defense shut down Wisconsin. All that was left was the Wolverines at home. The first half went back-and-forth before the Silver Bullets embargoed UM’s offense in the second half. The final whistle blew and OSU stood tall with a 26-21 win and 12-0 record.

While the Buckeyes are technically eligible to win the AP National Title the odds are slim at best. A soft non-conference schedule and a historically weak Big Ten will likely work against the Bucks, though they will likely finish in the top 5. So, the season is over. What’s next?

Looking ahead to the 2013 season, there are not many scary games on the schedule. Next year’s non-conference opponents went a combined 20-27 in 2012, and three of those matchups are at home. Home games include contests with Wisconsin, Iowa, Penn State, and Indiana. The Buckeyes will be challenged on the road versus Northwestern, Purdue, Illinois, and Michigan. Those games (minus the Illini) are the most dangerous to Ohio State’s title hopes. Also, in a strange scheduling fluke, three of the final four games will be on the road. The biggest opponent facing OSU next season is likely in the press box. The team is a lock to start next year in the top five, if not the top three. Complacency kills good football teams. As soon as the team starts to believe they will win simply because they are highly ranked or because they have won 14 (or 15 or 16) straight games is when they will stumble. Coach Meyer is used to dealing with high ranked teams in Florida so he knows how to keep his team angry and motivated.

@Corey_Barnes

On Saturday night I put on my finest Wine and Gold and drove from Madison to Milwaukee to see my beloved Cavaliers battle the Bucks. Cleveland lost 105-102 on a buzzer beating three from Milwaukee’s Brandon Jennings. While the loss leaves a bad taste in my mouth, here’s what I learned from the game:

1.       Kyrie Irving is the Man (with a capital “M”). The reigning rookie of the year seems defiant of the dreaded Sophomore Slump dropping a team-high 27 points, 7 assists, and 4 rebounds. When Irving is on the court he directs traffic like a cop moving personnel to and fro at just the right times. His running layup to tie the game at the death reminds us that he is not afraid to take the last shot. This one was reminiscent of the last-second shot he bricked against the Pacers last December. This time it fell in to no one’s surprise. He has the finisher’s instinct which he will need because in that situation I would not be comfortable with the ball in anyone else’s hands (at least right now).

2.       The second unit is dreadful. While the starters set the tone nicely in the beginning, Byron Scott’s second unit promptly pissed away the lead upon entering the game. Here are their plus/minuses:

·         Donald Sloan: -14

·         Luke Walton: -16

·         Daniel Gibson: -17

·         Tyler Zeller: -18

·         CJ Miles: -16

Miles was by far the worst offender. He constantly seemed lost on the court; as if the usher had sent him to the wrong end of his row and he couldn’t find his coat. In just under 15 minutes Miles pulled off the difficult task of going oh-for-six from the field, oh-for-three from range, while committing four fouls. He managed a rebound and assist in the contest but we cannot know for certain if they were intentional. Clearly Scott needs to refrain from pulling all five starters at once unless the team has a twenty point lead they don’t mind having cut in half. For the sake of perspective, the starting five contributed 87 points; the bench provided fifteen.

3.       Dion Waiters can be selfish. On a number of possessions, with Irving on the court, Waiters stubbornly took the ball up court and attempted to run the offense. I understand that Kyrie needs a few possessions off, but I will always take the Rookie of the Year over the kid from Syracuse. Waiters also needs to understand that this is a team game and he does not yet have the chops to handle all five defenders at once. One possession featured him tearing up the left side, stopping at the three point arc, and launching a contested (ugly) three with 21 second on the shot clock. Bad. In the fourth quarter, he managed to work the ball into the corner, eschewing picks and passes, so he could masterfully heave an airball into heavy Wisconsin traffic. Awful. Now he did have 13 points and I am of course not writing off the 4th overall pick after three professional games. I am simply commenting on how green the kid seems to be and how much he needs to learn.

4.       Free throws. Free throws. Free throws. Free throws. Free throws. Free throws. Free throws. Free throws. Free throws. Free throws. Free throws.

5.       See Item #4.

6.       The Cavs missed so many free throws. They finished 62.1% (18-29) on the night. Those eleven points, even half of them, could have swung the game to the Wine and Gold. I understand that free throws are not cool and everyone prefers practicing dunks before the game but I think it is fair to expect at least a 75% team effort from the charity stripe. After all, these are FREE throws and they should fall more often than not. I propose a cap and trade system. If a player misses a free throw during a game he will have to either make five in a row at practice or run gassers until the coach is satisfied. Just a suggestion.

7.       Milwaukee doesn’t care about basketball. The Bucks have not made the postseason since 2010; they haven’t won the division since 2001. The fans clearly have not tolerated this mediocrity well. I was surrounded by hundreds and perhaps even over a thousand empty seats for the home opener. It’s a Saturday in Milwaukee and the Bucks are playing; what else is going on?   

@Corey_Barnes

The Ohio State University Buckeyes are in the running for a national championship. No, they are not allowed to play in the Big Ten Title game. No, they are not allowed to appear in any bowl game, BCS or otherwise. But these Buckeyes can still win a division, get a t-shirt, and potentially add another entry in the national title column. It won’t be easy, but it can be done.

Shockingly, Ohio State is the best team in the Big Ten. This was supposed to be an adjustment year for a young team. Urban Meyer was supposed to be getting used to the conference, quarterback Braxton Miller was supposed to struggle under the microscope, and an unproven defense was supposed to give up huge tracts of land. Instead Meyer is thriving in Columbus, undaunted by tough road matchups and primetime night games. Miller has entered himself into the Heisman conversation a year earlier than anyone anticipated. The defense…well the defense has struggled making tackles and is becoming known for giving up huge yardage in a single play. Still, the Buckeyes have already equaled their win total from last year – an abysmal 6-7 – in the first half of the year. Plus the road ahead is littered with few landmines.

Barring some huge runs from other parts of the Midwest, Ohio State’s only remaining ranked opponent could be in their season finale against That School Up North. The next four matchups feature a road game against perennial afterthought Indiana, a home matchup with Purdue that just screams “revenge,” a visit to Not-So-Happy Valley versus the resilient Nittany Lions, and a home contest featuring underachieving Illinois. Of those four, only the Penn State game inspires any dread, since that game will be the Nittanies’ defacto bowl game of the year. A bye week allows the team to breathe before a brutal back-to-back at Wisconsin and vs. the Wolverines. Wisconsin has not impressed this year: redshirt freshman Joel Stave has been on and off the bench all season and senior running back Montee Ball has not been able to match his prolific numbers from last year. However, the Badgers upset #1 ranked OSU two years ago and would love to rain on Ohio State’s parade once again. That School Up North is always a threat, every year regardless of who is under center, what they are ranked, and where The Game is played. It would be unwise to take them lightly.

These games count; that is important to keep in mind. Every yard, throw, catch, and score are part of the team’s permanent record. Earlier this year the Big Ten ruled that Ohio State and Penn State, while forbidden to play in Indy, are still eligible to win the Legends Division. Therefore, if Ohio State has the best record in division at season’s end they will receive a trophy and likely a t-shirt/hat combo to celebrate the achievement. It would perhaps be a hollow victory, knowing that an objectively inferior team would represent their division in the conference title game, but I would certainly be happy to receive a trophy. Considering how the team has performed and gazing ahead, this is entirely possible.

The national media is starting to take these Buckeyes seriously. The team is ranked eighth in the AP poll (it is ineligible to appear in either the Coaches’ or BCS poll) and is the highest ranked Big Ten team.  The AP’s top ten is exclusively undefeated teams at this point and we have a good idea which teams are good (South Carolina) and which are not as good (Wisconsin). Now, here is where you might need a few extra doses of faith, so bear with me. Suppose that over the next six to seven games, every team ranked above Ohio State loses a game. While the idea of Alabama or Oregon slipping up is implausible it is still possible. Also for this scenario to work, the Buckeyes would have to run the table, finishing a perfect 12-0. If Ohio State finishes the season as the only undefeated team (or at least the only undefeated team from an AQ conference) then they could reasonably finish the year #1. Then, through a complex series of upsets, if every high ranked team loses its conference title or BCS game giving it a second loss then when the final AP Poll of the season is released on January 8 Ohio State could theoretically stand at number one.

“So what? We still wouldn’t have the BCS Championship.” Wow, tone down the negativity, generic hater reading this article. While it’s true that the Buckeyes could not win this year’s BCS National Title they could still win the AP National Championship and create a split title situation. The BCS has only been playing king-maker since 1998; the AP has been the primary decider of the country’s best team for most of the 20th century. So an AP National Title would absolutely count and would be reflected in ten foot tall numbers on the Shoe’s north end.

@Corey_Barnes

On Thursday, after an illustrious 24-year career, Omar Vizquel pulled off a move many thought he couldn’t manage: he retired. The acrobatic shortstop who dazzled and delighted fans in five cities over the years finally hung up his cleats at the age of 45. Omar was the oldest player in the league this year while appearing in 60 games for the Toronto Blue Jays. The shortstop of my childhood has retired, but he will never leave the hearts of those who saw him play.

For anyone in college or just beyond, Omar Vizquel WAS the Indians in the 90s. He arrived in a trade from Seattle in 1993, right before the Jacobs Field Era began. Omar came in with little fanfare; he hit a decent .252 in his first five years with Seattle and won a Gold Glove that final season. In Cleveland, Omar did it all (except hit for power). He became a dependable contact hitter and force on the basepaths. The field, however, was where Omar built his legacy.

Omar Vizquel is the greatest shortstop I have ever seen. The hardware backs up the case: 11 career Gold Gloves, the last of which at age 39. A three time all-star with the Tribe, Omar even played well enough in 1999 to finish 16th in the American League MVP vote. In his prime there was no ball he could not range to, no throw he could not make. Everyone in the building knew that 99 times out of 100 a ground ball to #13 would be sent over to first or second for a double play. Oh, Omar turned the best double plays. His most famous images are of him fielding a ball from the second baseman and jumping clear over the incoming baserunner. Behind the back, between the legs, barehanded, glove flip. These circus plays were routine for the Venezuelan. He made the impossible look easy and he never ceased to amaze. Every Cleveland kid in little league wanted to play shortstop in the 90s and they ALL tried a barehanded play at least once (though with perhaps less success than Omar had).

The only knock against Omar is that he never won the World Series. He played 57 postseason games, all with Cleveland but was never able to lift the trophy. As far as consolation prizes go, however, Omar got a good one in August 2001. Trailing Seattle 14-11 in the ninth, Omar hit a bases clearing triple to tie a game and cap a 14-2 comeback. He always seemed to come through in the clutch.   

What separates Omar from other former players is that he never really left. He was bigger than the game: he made music, wrote a book, and invented his own salsa. Omar had fun, and his attitude was infectious. He understood that he got to play a game for a living and he never let a day go by without appreciating that fact. So we in turn appreciated him. His natural charisma and 1,000 watt smile immediately endeared him to fans (especially women) plus he played the game like we would have. Omar would play the jokester in the locker room, helping to bring in the rookies; he would playfully taunt pitchers while on the bases, and would occasionally send ground balls to the first baseman during warm ups just to keep him on his toes. Cleveland’s love for Omar did not fade with time either. In 2008, the Giants travelled to Cleveland for the first time since Omar left. I went to his first game back and he received nothing but love. The scoreboard played a montage of some of his greatest plays and he turned in a solid defensive game. Think about that: we played a video about a VISITING PLAYER. But that’s not a fair assessment; Omar wasn’t really visiting, he was coming home if only for a weekend.

Corey Barnes

Calling Cleveland’s relationship with Art Modell “love-hate” is not entirely accurate: it’s all hate. Modell, the man made infamous for moving the beloved Browns to Baltimore in 1995, passed away earlier this week. In response, Commissioner Roger Goodell has requested that all NFL teams show some sign of respect to mark his passing before this week’s games. This is not a problem for 31 teams in the league but may be an issue for the Browns. After all, Cleveland fans are not known for their manners.

It all began with “10 Cent Beer Night.” The Indians of the 1970s oscillated between laughable and unwatchable, a comedy of errors that not surprisingly did not draw a crowd. In an effort to boost attendance, Cleveland’s front office announced a special promotion for June 4, 1974: a dime buys you a beer. What could possibly go wrong? Over 25,000 fans showed up, more than double the average attendance, and they were boisterously drunk by the 3rd inning. A few stray fans streaked across the field and the language was enough to make a sailor blush. A critical call late in the game went in favor of the visiting Texas Rangers which fomented the crowd into a fury. They stormed the field en masse railing against the umpires, Rangers, and eventually their own Indians who came in to defend the visitors. The game was ultimately called and the commissioner forfeited the game to Texas. Cleveland’s “Mistake on the Lake” identity continued and the team returned to mediocrity unhindered. A generation of fans learned how to riot, which they apparently passed on to their children.

There is a reason the drink vendors at NFL games don’t give you the cap to your container: BottleGate. Late in the 2001 season the reborn Browns were fighting for a seat at the playoff table. Week 14 brought the Jacksonville Jaguars to town, also eyeing the postseason. Late in the game, a Jaguar turnover set up the Browns with great field position. The Jacksonville coach threw the challenge flag but, in the eyes of the fans, it was after the Browns ran a play and the challenge should not have counted. Nevertheless the officials honored the protest and returned the ball to the Jaguars. The fans screamed, hooted, hollered, and started raining bottles on the officials. Glass bottles fell by the thousands on the defenseless zebras who fled to shelter and threatened to forfeit the game to the Jags. Only a call from the Commissioner’s office kept the game going and Jacksonville eventually won. The Browns finished 7-9 and missed the playoffs. One more example? One more example!

The only man who can challenge Modell’s claim as all-time pariah in Cleveland is LeBron James. After his “Decision” in July 2010 left Northeast Ohio devastated, everyone eagerly anticipated his return to play the Cavs the upcoming year. His introduction was quick and left him drowning in jeers. Every time he touched the ball he was assaulted with a wave of defeaning boos and verbal abuse. People called out his mother, his stigma as a quitter, and just about every slight they have ever felt. The Heat rolled to an easy win and Cavs fans were left with little good to hang their collective hat on.