bts college au

if you’re in the united states right now i hope you’re safe. i hope you’re with people you love. today has exposed just how much hatred there is in this rotten world and i hope that at least for now, you have people around you that give you hope. i am so, so sorry, this is not the kind of world you deserve 

business majors will do coke off your ass on saturday night and then pretend they don’t know you in your econ lecture on monday morning

fuck with a psych major then

psych majors will do lsd with you and tell you that they’ve never felt as connected to anyone as they do to you in that moment and then as soon as their trip ends they will spend the rest of your relationship disappointed because they know they’ll never feel as strongly about you sober as they did while on acid and when you take notice of that and comment that they seem to be growing distant they will psychoanalyze you and claim that you just think that because you have abandonment issues stemming from early childhood trauma

fuck with an art major then

art majors will nut on your back and hand you their paint rag to wipe it off with and then when you don’t return their calls the next day they’ll make a painting entitled Succubus. 2015 (oil and tears on canvas, 36" x 48")

Fuck with a film major

film majors will invite you over to “watch a movie and chill” and you’ll assume he means watch the first five minutes of something on netflix before getting distracted and banging but no. he has a french new wave film set up for the two of you to actually watch and you don’t understand french but he refuses to put on subtitles because he feels it undermines the artistic integrity of the work. when the movie is over he’ll undress you but not to have sex, just to “admire” your body. also he inexplicably smells like cigarettes even though he doesn’t smoke

i am so sorry for your unfortunate mishaps with multiple major fields