BTLGMNSH.

Josh

ˇherapist says I need an outlet. She’s right about most things. Suicide has been prevalent lately. I do love Allison - I’m self-sabotaging before I even get to go and see her. She’s what I want, what I’m looking for. Someone to love, someone to love me. Will it go anywhere? I really hope so, cuz I need her and she has no idea. I need to fucking watch myself, and it’s my responsibility to build myself back up in the meantime. God I hope this works.. Then there’s Tucson. Gonna apply and say fuck it. I don’t expect much out of it but why not see? Maybe Allison would go with me. What a selfish thought. She’s so damn pretty. Haven’t seen her in three years. My responsibility to not self destruct. Need her.