* BT GOD.

he can't help the groan of relief that leaves him when sam's finally on his back. any sane person would be questioning his choice in bed partner, but a full nights rest is far more tempting than worrying about whether he'll be strangled in his sleep. turning his head towards higgs, eyes flick across clearly sleep deprived features, hair disheveled and pretty eyes that have seen too much.

❛    not   long.     you   know   how   it   is,     barely   get   any   sleep   to    begin   with.    ❜    a  small  shrug  of  his  shoulders,     lying  through  his  teeth  is  much    easier    than  being  truthful  with  sam.     though  he's  fairly  certain  the  man  could  read  him  like  a    book    now     …     after  everything  they've  been  through  together    ?    he's  been    more     than  open  for  sam  to    read.     leaning  his  head  against  his  arm,     eyes  close  as  he  lets  out  a  heavy  sigh.

“ i told you to leave it, ” sam barks at higgs whose currently in a pissing contest with one of the homo demen leaders. with the reemergence of the demens and whispers of a new, deadlier extinction entity, higgs had been busy with the varying tasks sam had assigned to him, which leads to right now. his herald of extinction apparently can't handle the idea of sam requiring the assistance of someone other than him.

@btg0d — would you cut it out? i'm trying to help you. / porter au + for sam

pain has been the norm in sam's life for as long as he remembers, sam should be used to it at this point, but often than not, the pain is associated with him actively dying. ❛ your stitches are shit, ❜ sam grumbles, flinching at the next dig of needle and tug of thread.

not dying after an accident means he has to deal with the residual wounds when repatriation would've taken care of that for him.

001.        while  it's    not    confirmed  to  be  true  or  not,     my  higgs'  true  name  is    peter   englert,     the  alias  he  uses  when  ordering  pizzas  from  sam  within  the  first  game.     however,     i  believe  this  is  his    true    name,     one  that  he  "ditched"  when  he  became  amelie's  herald  of  death,     joining  her  cause  and  becoming  the  man  we  know.

002. higgs makes mention to having died on the beach before, while this doesn't mean much aside from having killed himself and not actually dying, because we know that you can't die on the beach ⸻ i take this in a different direction. even prior to the events of the first game, higgs knew he was a repatriate from having died while delivering things as a porter, a stumble and fall off of a cliffside that instantly killed him upon impact. at first, he thought he was simply knocked out, that was before he came back to his body and instantly threw up tar. at this time, there was no word for this phenomenon, had no idea what to call it. that is until much later there was finally a word for it, a repatriate. this is something that nobody knows he has the ability to do, nobody has seen the hand prints on his body that had started down at his ankles and slowly have worked their way up his body. he doesn't have nearly as many handprints like sam does, his are more subtle in colour as well.

003.        though  i  have    not    read  the  novelization  of  the  first  game,     it  is    more    than  implied  that  higgs  and  fragile  were  in  a  romantic  relationship  with  one  another  prior  to  the  events  of  the  game    (    becoming     a     terrorist.     )     i  very  much    follow    this,     that  higgs  and  fragile  were  once  in  a  relationship  with  one  another  while  he  was  working  with  fragile  express  but  ultimately  had  broken  up  once  higgs  started  his  work  for  amelie.     it    doesn't    mean  i'll  force  it  onto  anyone  i'm  writing  with  who  writes  fragile,    however    it  is  something  that  is  a  part  of  my  higgs'  story.

004.        i  firmly  believe  that    nobody   aside  from  sam  and  fragile  know  who  the  leader  of  the  homo  demens  is,     this    follows    through  to  the  second  game     —      i  found  it  to  be  stupid  that  everyone  knew  who  higgs  was  and  that  he  was  the  leader  of  the  cult.     which,     this  is  where  my  higgs  differs,     nobody  knows  who  he  is  aside  from  APAC,     sam  and  fragile.     all  everyone  knows  is  that  there  is  a  cult,     they  don't  know  the  identity  of  the  leader.

005.        higgs  is  a    severely    damaged  individual,     even  prior  to  the  events  of  the  first  game,     i  believe  due  to  the  physical,     emotional,     and  psychological  abuse  he  received  from  his  uncle  and  never  being  able  to  leave  their  shelter     /     bunker  because  his  uncle  raved  on  about     "    how   the   outside   world   and   everyone   left   were   dangerous   and   couldn't   be   trusted,     "     it  has    forever    changed  higgs.     due  to  this,     i've  come  to  the  conclusion  that  he  would  have  BPD,     depression,     suicidal  ideations,     among  other  things.

Her brows had knit together when he disappears before her very eyes and then reappears behind her, she nearly jumps out of her skin as she turns to face him. She doesn't want her back to him and she's going to keep her eyes glued to him as he stalks around her, like a wolf hunting a deer.

"Listen," rather tall sir "mister, I want no damn trouble," she says, holding her hands out slightly, taking a step back. "Jus' tryin' t'get back before the storm hits," she adds. She needed to make a beeline to her equi-cruiser and fast, and it was right behind her.

"So if you could jus'... Be kind enough to let me go—"

it's honestly nothing. i can deal with it myself.

next time something like this happens, you have to promise to tell me.

you're making a big deal out of nothing. i'll be fine.

how long have you had that?

i'm good at this, you know. patching up wounds.

would you cut it out? i'm trying to help you.

why didn't you tell me you were bleeding?

you didn't have to take that hit for me.

what are you hiding from me?

it's not the worst injury i've ever seen, but it's pretty bad.

how long were you going to hide this from me?

at least let me look at it.

there. it looks much better.

this will help with the pain.

i'm forever in your debt.

i didn't have anywhere else to go.

this wasn't supposed to happen.

is that your blood?

i've patched up nastier wounds than this.

stop squirming! you're going to be fine!

this is bad. this is really bad.

i just need a band-aid and a nap. i'll be fine.

we need to get you to a hospital.

how does it look? be honest.

keep your eyes open, okay? keep looking at me.

it doesn't hurt that bad.

give me your hand. let me look at it.

who taught you how to patch a wound like that?

it's not as bad as i thought it would be, that's for sure.

would you just let me help you? please?

you saved my life.

let me go find my first aid kit. it's in here somewhere.

i'll take care of it. you just sit and rest.

see? that wasn't so bad after all.

i've seen worse.

take two of these and drink some water.

ow! that really hurt!

i've got you, okay? everything's going to be fine.

you're gonna have to take your shirt off.

well... it could have been worse.

it looks worse than it really is, i swear.

roll up your sleeve a little, will you?

does that feel all right?

i didn't even realize i was bleeding.

you could have been killed out there!

give me a second to patch this up.

don't close your eyes. you hear me? stay with me.

i'm not giving up on you just yet.

you still need some time to heal.

i'm right here. i won't leave your side.

thank you for taking care of me.

if you can still hear me, help is on the way!

just squeeze my hand when it starts hurting.

how long have i been out?

let me check for a fever.

did you patch this up?

i've had worse injuries than this.

where did you learn to do that?

take some deep breaths for me.

look at me. you're going to be fine.

hold still! stop moving around so much!

i'll take care of you.

what the hell were you thinking?

where does it hurt?

i'm so used to doing this myself.

lift up your shirt a little so i can see.

lay back down. you're not healed up yet.

you never should have put yourself in harm's way like that.

looks like i've got myself a really good nurse.

will you stay with me while i sleep?

no one's ever helped me like that before.

i would have died had it not been for you.

don't you get it? if you don't let me help you, you'll die.

we have to be quick about this.