Sam Winchester

   “I’d have to disagree with you on that one.” She didn’t mean it out of self pity or in an attempt to keep him complimenting her. She just really didn’t see the value of herself outside of connections she had with others. Losing Bill? That’d been one giant fuck you to her self worth. But, she packed the feelings back into their imaginary box as Sam shifted the conversation. He was sweet and he deserved to win this round, not listen to her mope over things that none of them could change. 

   “Yeah… One of the things I missed out on in life. Although supposedly there’s some King nearby who learned how to make blood into cocktails. Maybe one day I’ll be fabulous enough to drink somethin’ with an umbrella in it.” There’s a laugh, much more vibrant than before. “Well, here’s about all that means somethin’ to see. Outside the bar there’s the high school… A couple churches… We’ve got a small vampire community but that’s mostly under wraps right now.” She shrugs, “What kind of trouble are you lookin’ for?”

      Dean would have a good answer for that. The responses his brother would have come back with, each with varying levels of crude humor, would have your head spinning. Sam doesn’t have any such responses so just shrugs. Truthfully he has no idea what trouble looks like. The fun kind of trouble- not the kind where someone ends up dead- isn’t his forte “You’ve never had a drink?” Brows hook up but he’s not too surprised. From the intel he’d gathered on Jess and the talks he had with her family that didn’t seem far off. 

❝ you’re lying ,  you liar . ❞  turning to see sam stopped ,  dean turns to open the freezer and grab the ice cream .  ❝ i was gonna share ,  but since you don’t want to get up … ❞  as he’s speaking he’s pulling the top open ,  taking one of the spoons and dipping it in before eating .  with a sly smirk ,  dean makes his way back to the main area .

❝ … you forgot it ? ❞  if he wasn’t so high right now he would’ve remembered it was him who allowed it to slip his mind .  eyes watching his brother ,  he then rolls them .  ❝ are you ser— sam , you’re … ❞  sighing ,  dean manages to get off of the bed ,  legs feeling light but he makes it to the drawer .    ❝ spoons … ❞ mumbling to himself ,  he grabs two spoons .  fuck it if he’s not having any .

❝ well ,  i ain’t gettin’ up ,  dude .  ❞  between two of the couch cushions ,  dean leans back against the bar and crosses his legs ,  ❝ let me guess ,  we got no pie ?  ❞  

the touch against the nape of his neck coaxes him asleep almost instantly .  sure , the walls around himself are comfortable and enough to allow breathing room but sam’s body is better than that .  if dean accepted it he would let sam in more often ,  but there’s fear behind those courageous eyes that halts him in his tracks .  learning from their father that it wasn’t okay to place those burdens on others ,  especially sam .  even if it’s been years since his death the lessons kept shoulders tense and that soldier-like fascade in check .  who was to say it was okay to let that go ?

still ,  in dreams that turn to nightmares are caused by dean letting go of the control .  the mark whispering what he wanted to hear ,  blade swinging until he blacks out and he’s surrounded again .  this time it’s sam and castiel among others that have been in their lives .  bobby ,  charlie ,  jess ,  their mother … the list went on as he felt the hunger radiating under his skin .  they step closer and the blade takes charge ,  sam’s face the last that he sees before he abruptly wakes up .

with a deep breath dean’s body jolts up and he feels as though he’s been under water for longer than he could .  for a moment he forgets that he’s in sam’s room ,  his brother next to him causing another frantic wave to wash over him .

Sam’s used to nightmares. He’s used to a lot of things that no human person should be used to. Second guessing what he see’s. Pressing the long healed scar on his palm as if that could still cause reality to flicker. There are little things he can do now that differentiate between what is and is not real- it doesn’t happen as frequently. Still.... when things get too good he always presses his palm. He does it before he falls asleep that night with Dean curled around him. It’s too nice to be real. But it is. 

There are no nightmares. Never are when Dean’s with him. Big brother tends to blot out the bad no matter how old they both get. One of those childish beliefs that just won’t go away. If it can get him a decent four hours sleep? He’d take it. Not look into it too deeply. And he is asleep, was, until he feels the bed shift and a sudden cold over his skin as the blankets move. “-Hm? De?” He’s sleepy still, eyes bleary but he looks around anyway to make sure they’re alone.