Anathema

It’s all my fault... you deny not using me then pushing me away... to the point where I couldn’t love you or respect you anymore.. but that’s my fault.. I built you up financed you fed you invited you into my home.. but I’m psycho and we aren’t together and it’s my fault? You are in love and moved in with another chick less than two weeks after we break up and I’m a psycho?

Delusionland must be nice... I wish I weren’t too rational to live there..

I actually wish I weren’t so damaged so that someone who wasn’t a toxic mess would love me..

I’m at the very least halfway through life and I fear I’ll never be found or find my person.. I’ve never felt more alone.. but the sadness of it all has made me stronger and more cynical.. and I’m ok with that..

One day my loneliness won’t be able to tear down my walls that protect me from the stupid need to feel loved and wanted and cherished.. how silly to want to be loved and wanted and cherished...