pickledtoast submitted: My issues with the abortion debate
[I know that this is not the typical pro-choice story that you post, but I think that these issues are worth mentioning]
I am 100% prochoice. Thatâs pretty obvious if you browse through my tumblr. For me itâs as simple as âMy body, My choice and Your body, Your Choiceâ. However there is some language used by both pro-lifers and pro-choicers that really bothers me.
1.  Mother â Mother is an identity, and we should all be able to choose how we identify. When pro-lifers force that identity on someone who doesnât want it, I get pissed. When pro-choicers fight back by saying that a person isnât a mother until they give birth, I also get pissed. If you are pregnant and you identify as a mother, then you are a mother. If you raise someone elseâs children and you identify as a mother, then you are a mother. If you lose a pregnancy to miscarriage or stillbirth, or lose your baby just after birth and you identify as a mother, then you are a mother. If you have an abortion, and you identify as a mother, then you are a mother. If you do any of the things listed above, or even give birth to a healthy baby, and donât identify as a mother, then you arenât a mother. So letâs quit this shit of forcing on or denying people the identity of âmotherâ.
2.  Baby â Pro-lifers love to throw around the term âbabyâ to give the blastocyst, embryo or fetus a sense of value, just like pro-choicers love to throw around the phrase âjust a clump of cellsâ to give it less value. Why donât we cut that shit out too, and let the pregnant people decide the value of the contents of their womb? Yes, a baby is an infant, and therefore cannot be a baby until it is born. But if youâve willingly given up part of your body to an embryo or fetus, and youâve cared for it to the best of your ability, then you have every right to call it your baby. Anyone who wants to debate terminology with you can fuck off. Likewise, if you do not want to be pregnant, and the pregnancy has no value to you, then no one has the right to demand that youâve got a baby in there. While everyone knows that pro-lifers use the term âbabyâ inaccurately, I would argue that pro-choicers sometimes use the phrase âjust a clump of cellsâ inaccurately too. I mean, itâs pretty vague, but to me, something with a heartbeat is no longer âjust a clump of cellsâ.
3. Woman/women â people who do not identify as women can get pregnant. Letâs not erase their existence and experiences by only using the term woman. âPersonâ or âpregnant personâ are both really easy substitutes for âwomanâ, and they are far more inclusive.
4. âItâs the only humane thing to doâ â I hear this frequently when someone has an abortion due to birth defects. They do it because they donât want their child to suffer/ they donât want to watch their child suffer. Thatâs totally fine. But people who choose to carry those pregnancies to term are not somehow doing something inhumane. â and on the subject of birth defects, letâs try not to get all ableist when justifying the abortion of a fetus with a birth defect. Â 1. You donât need to justify an abortion. If someone wants one, they should have one, regardless of the reason. 2. When people imply that it only makes sense to abort a âdefectiveâ fetus, theyâre being ableist and not at all pro-choice. Same goes for pregnancies that threaten the pregnant personâs life or healthâ there is no right or wrong choice â there is only the pregnant personâs choice.
I originally posted a version of this on my tumblr, and have added a few things, but Iâm sure that I still missed a few issues. However, the main point is, we should be listening to the actual pregnant people and how they feel about their own pregnancies â BECAUSE THAT MATTERS SO MUCH MORE THAN AGENDAS AND PROPOGANDA!
 P.S. This was not a âboth sides are just as badâ post, for anyone who might have mistaken it for that. Trying to force someone to carry an unwanted pregnancy to term will always be worse than trying to ensure that people have a right to make choices about their own bodies.
