pony boy.

this is not my last masterpiece 🍏 salmon.

“come on, i didn’t do that.” solomon shook his head, a wry smile on his face as he looked at sawyer. again, he still couldn’t believe how important he was to sawyer, that he could matter that much to anyone at all. it scared him, and it was even worse knowing he would only let sawyer down in the end. he leaned against the wall then, like he couldn’t support his own weight any longer, like it was all a burden too heavy to bear. for a second, silence hung in the air, and solomon scuffed his toe against the floor. not looking at sawyer, he said, “you think too much of me.”

this is not my last masterpiece 🍏 salmon.

it all came out wrong…or did it come out right, and what he felt was wrong? all solomon knew was that sawyer’s defeated expression made his stomach sink, and he had never hated his own skin more. “i want you too,” he said. the words were soft, and they escaped from his mouth before he even realized it, but he meant it. “i’m not going to resent you. i’m just afraid you’re going to hate me when it turns out i’m just destined to be a piece of shit forever.” he inhaled a long breath and chewed the inside of his lip. “and i don’t want you to hate me.”

will they… 🍌 francesca & oliver.

“we’ll see about that one,” oliver scoffed. he was more of a 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner guy than a nail polish guy. he ogled all the bottles francesca owned; it was hard to believe she owned that many. “damn, you weren’t kidding when you say you have every color. just surprise me.” there were too many to choose from, and honestly? he still didn’t want to do this.

this is not my last masterpiece 🍏 salmon.

solomon inhaled, and the breath caught in his chest, a bubble begging to pop, but he couldn’t let it out. he held it in with the tension in his jaw and shoulders because it was easier than putting what he felt into words. he’d already bared his soul, at least it felt like it to him, and he didn’t know what else he could say to sawyer. he wanted to feel relieved that sawyer assured him he didn’t need him to be his boyfriend (a word that made his heartrate spike), but he couldn’t because something still felt wrong. something between them still didn’t quite add up.

“i don’t know, man. i can’t tell you what this is. i’ve never done this before.” actually, he had done this before. he fooled around with countless people and made no promises; promising sawyer that he wanted something in the future, however uncertain he was about what and when, was already the biggest step he’d taken in years. “i just want to spend time with you, but the pressure is, like…a lot sometimes. not just from you. from like. everyone. and myself. i don’t know. this doesn’t even make any sense. i just feel like i’m going to let you down. like i’m never going to be able to be who you want.” his chest ached when he admitted it.

covered in your color 🍏 salmon.

solomon shook his head at sawyer’s words. “are you kidding me? you’re the only person i could ever want. i am so in love with you, sawyer, no matter what fucking color you see,” he said, then squished his cheeks a little bit. “okay?” solomon asked, trying to gauge sawyer’s reaction. he knew it might not be enough to convince sawyer now, but he really couldn’t see himself with anyone but him.

on top of the world 🍌 oliver & sawyer.

oliver tended to keep weird hours, especially this summer when his only obligation was his gig at the creamery and he never accepted a shift that started before noon. he often ran late at night and never ran into anyone, but he didn’t mind a little company. “you took the words right out of my mouth,” oliver chuckled, his breath returning as he slowed his stride on the last few yards up the hill. “sawyer, right?”

to noise making 🥥 summer & eddy.

as soon as she heard someone join them, summer stopped mid-note to see who it was. realizing it was eddy, she let out a small laugh. “i’d be pretty impressed if she did. and a little disappointed. i’m really gunning for ‘mama’ to be her first word, even if that milestone isn’t supposed to come for a while.” she glanced at giselle with a fond smile on her face, then looked back to eddy. “what about you? are you here with sofia or just trying to get your shot at the swings?”

getting there can be half the fun 🍑 eleanor + zara.

eleanor’s jaw dropped when zara revealed the truth about their last assignment. “no way,” she said, her voice at a conspiratorial whisper, and the cookies she’d been comparing completely forgotten in her hands. “i don’t want to make fun of her or anything, i just always thought she was so smart. and honestly, i was kind of jealous because of that.” among other reasons.

let me come home 🍓 indara.

cara did notice the scattered art supplies as soon as they walked through the door, but she could hardly care about them right now. “are you kidding me? i get to live with my best friend in the world in my favorite place in the world. i wouldn’t care if there was a hole in the the floor…but i’m glad there isn’t because mr. turner is already super annoying about the noise we make.” cara scooped indy into another hug before she flopped onto the couch, casting her duffle bag aside for now. “it’s so good to be back. l.a. was cool, but honestly it was kind of exhausting.”

will they… 🍌 francesca & oliver.

oliver tensed when francesca drew near him to steal her comforter back, but he couldn’t stay on his guard for long. sure, francesca scared the shit out of him sometimes, but he liked to think they were close enough that she wouldn’t ruin his life. “manicure only. i’m not gonna let that be the gateway paint job,” he said in a warning tone, but he’d already scooted closer to her. “what colors do you have? and tell me you have nail polish remover for after.”

covered in your color 🍏 salmon.

the faintness of sawyer’s voice caught solomon’s attention right away. try as he might, sawyer couldn’t hide the hurt behind it. “it can be. the softer shades are pretty. i can’t think of anything like that right now. but it can be really bright too. like the sun. and flowers,” solomon explained absentmindedly. he focused on sitting up, so he could look sawyer in the eye, cupping his face in his hands as he did. “hey. don’t let the colors make you worry about us.”

this is not my last masterpiece 🍏 salmon.

solomon’s anxiety ran wild as he stood pressed against the wall, like he wanted to sink into it. his skin had never crawled like it did it in this moment. every inch of it itched with something frantic and desperate. today would be the day sawyer didn’t forgive him. 

“they’re both real? it’s like this. i want to figure this out,” he started to speak slowly, so he didn’t trip over his words, but they began to spill out faster and faster. “but it’s new to me, and scary, and i feel like there’s all this pressure, so i get in my head, and then i panic, and i do something stupid before i even realize i’m doing it, which i get is like totally fucked up for you, and you shouldn’t have to deal with that, which is why i didn’t want you to have to deal with me in the first place.”

this is not my last masterpiece 🍏 salmon.

solomon knew he was fucking this up. his time with sawyer was a roller coaster, always up then crashing down. the only consistency was solomon’s constant fear that any moment would be the one when he ruined things beyond repair. he wanted to do this with sawyer, whatever ‘this’ was, and test the waters of ‘something more’, but the constant anxiety that underscored it all only made solomon more reckless and stupid.

“you’re more than that to me. i meant that when i said it at the halloween party,” solomon explained quickly. he knew that much at least. but the pause that followed was tedious. he didn’t know anything else.

“but it’s like this. i like this. i like hanging out with you. i want to be more than friends, but i feel like i can’t be what you want me to be right now. it’s just confusing, and i feel like i’m always fucking up, and we aren’t even…”

this is not my last masterpiece 🍏 salmon.

guilt punched solomon’s gut when sawyer spoke. his expression immediately sobered, and he fidgeted, hand rubbing the back of his neck. “i know. i’m sorry.” some of his worry dissipated, at least, when sawyer said he missed him too. “yeah, i did. um, you’re, like, one of my best friends.” the might not have been the confession sawyer wanted to hear, but as simple as it sounded, to solomon it meant more. he rarely felt so close to someone so quickly, even in a friendly capacity.

this is not my last masterpiece 🍏 salmon.

before he could stop it, a chuckle slipped from solomon’s mouth. it was the most inopportune time, but it tumbled out with his exhale on its own accord. “sorry. it was just the way you said it,” he tried to explain. he dared to look up from the floor then, meeting sawyer’s eye with a sheepish look. “i haven’t been doing too hot either. um, i missed you.” maybe he should have said that either.