Modern Vigilante

Or not.

Don't deny it. If you aren't now, you will be sooner or later. I'll convince you.

Pfft. Oh please. You sure dream big.

Oh, come on. You couldn't even play along? You might just hurt my ego. Maybe.

Work. The Sin’s not going to run itself for long. Someone’s gotta give it the care and attention it needs, and I guess I’m one of the few crazy enough to do it all.

Ah, that makes more sense. I guess you either go to bed earlier, or be tired.

Was I? You just haven’t met the right girl! And you’ll never find her if you keep going out with woman who are only interested in your money! *frustrated sigh* 

Yes, yes. Ah, but those women are the most fun.

I suppose that’s why you have a new girl on your arm each week.

Damn. I guess I'm really infamous for that, aren't I?

Oh hush your face. I forgave your dumb butt long ago. Clearly I wasn’t what you wanted, so you did both of us a favor.

It wasn't you. You're amazing. I guess I'm just not cut out for actual relationships.

Uh… actually I’m not in that population. I’ve been cured of the *dreamy voice* “Bruce is so dreamy” spell. You actually helped cure me, remember?

About that... Molly, I really am sorry.

Concept? 

Yeah. You may believe it, but I've seen pretty plain people. Boring, even.

Makes the two of us. So what happened to Ana and Christian? Happily ever after I guess?

Probably. Don't most books end like that?

Oh but that's understandable. You've seen me. How could you not like this?

The best is at the last. I think Jacob and Bella’s daughter got together at the end.

Wait.. wasn't Jacob the werewolf that was in love with Bella..?

I guess that's a nice concept.

I didn’t know you were into that stuff Bruce.

Oh, trust me, I'm not. I just wanted to see what all the fuss was about. But I'm sure as hell not going to read this, now that I actually know what it's about.

So you read them?

Nah. I'm not much of a reader. But they're so popular I can't stop people from telling me unwanted information about 'em.

Glittery vampires.

Yeah.. I'll just set this back down.