Goddess.

While we all dream of one day meeting that mythical SD that can offer us $10k/month with presents and travel and mentorship and support, the truth is there aren’t many of those to go around. They’re called the 0.1% for a reason. 

Here’s something that’s been in my drafts folder for a while. Based on some of the posts I’ve read recently, I think it might come in handy…PLEASE DO NOT COPY AND PASTE. READ CRITICALLY. Take bits and pieces, make it your own, or summarize it in some way as a come back for those messages, texts, or dinner dates.

Him: Hi. Thanks for reaching out to my earlier message. Your pics are beautiful. While I completely understand the importance of chemistry…but should we get to a point where this matters, I’m a little uncomfortable with having our relationship defined by allowances. As I said in my profile, I am quite generous, and understand the importance of ‘spoiling my partner’ but still, the set allowance would probably not work for me. I hope you understand my thoughts….

Me: Thank you for your thoughts. I understand that you are in search of an escape and so am I. My escape would involve a real connection and a refined lifestyle. I am a little uncomfortable with having a relationship that is only defined by sex… especially when the guy is attached and somewhat unavailable. I’m a beautiful young woman with no lack of suitors. I have a busy social life and I’m currently working to build a business/ pursuing my degree. I chose this kind of relationship in part because I have so little time for love. That’s not to say that my (romantic) time is not very valuable to me. It is. What I don’t value are shoes, handbags, and/or expensive dinners. These are things that I can purchase myself. Furthermore, these do nothing for me in the long run as much as say you investing in my company/ education would. I hope you understand that I’d need tangible showings… actions that illustrate I am valued… that my companion wants to put a smile on my face/ make me feel special/wants the best for me. AN ALLOWANCE WOULD DO THAT FOR ME. By the same token, I want my companion to feel comfortable telling me specifically how I could put a smile on his face/make HIM feel special/ valued. In any case, I am a rare catch and therefore am in no rush to find the man who “gets it” and me. Good luck on your search!

Older men will say “if you’re a sugar baby you should get a job or don’t swipe on me etc etc. I find that so funny!

Okay then why the fuck is your age preference so low? It’s not always the case but younger women aren’t going to be attractive to you just because your handsome… it’s your wallet we like. And if you’re so concerned about sugar babies… maybe you should go ahead and raise your age preference closer to your age. But hey that’s just me.

I have been with my current SD Red for almost a year and a half now. We have been through a lot of ups and downs because he is married. But I think our arrangement has developed into a strong friendship and relationship. Because of Red, I have been able to travel to Punta Cana with friends, New Orleans, San Francisco, Florida, and soon Canada. I’ve been able to have plastic surgery (breast implants), get a new car (soon), pay for school courses, help out my family, spoil my friends, pay off my credit cards twice now, been given gifts (MacBook Air, Beats, Prada bag, LV), etc. I’m extremely thankful for everything I have received from my SD.

So I wanted to share some tips on how to hustle to get the most out of your arrangement and also some tips on maintaining your hustle as a long-term sugar baby. Most sugar arrangements only last a few months because any number of reasons (SDs’ work schedules and work traveling conflicts, age and maturity differences, differing allowance expectations, finding other SBs/SDs, SB choosing to date traditionally or settle down, etc.). Hopefully you dolls find these insights helpful for your sugar hustle :)

COMPANIONSHIP:

-Time with your SD should be stress-free and carefree. Your SD probably has a lot of stressors in his life (work, kids, wife), and he looks to you to be his “escape.” I remember one of the last times I hung out with Red that he was visibly disappointed that he had to leave me early to go run an errand his wife requested. Being with a sugar baby means being with someone who can make you forget about your real everyday life. Do your best to be positive, happy, and funny when you’re with your SD. He has enough drama in his real life. I’ve never gotten visibly angry with my SD because he’s said before how his wife can be a bitch and has anger issues. The last thing you want to do is remind him of his wife.

-But do be real with your SD. Red and I share similar family dysfunctions when it comes to our families. We open up to each other and discuss family issues. I read about another SB who basically said you need to be happy 24/7 around your SD, and I don’t think that’s always the case. You’re a real person who has real issues too. You can’t be expected to be a robot, you have to be authentic. I’m not saying to make your SD your personal therapist and have crying sessions. But sharing some of the problems in your life shows you’re a real person and this communication connects you two emotionally. Relating to your SD despite your age, maybe race, and socioeconomic differences can only help strengthen your bond.

KEEPING THINGS SPICY SEXUALLY:

-Buy lingerie and model it for your SD. You get to be your sugar daddy’s ultimate fantasy. Chances are, any sex is great sex to men (lets be real here). But you want to ensure you keep your sugar daddy satisfied so he doesn’t go looking for a side sugar baby, or drop you altogether. I like buying inexpensive Yandy lingerie online and surprising my SD with outfits. Send your SD “sneak peak” or “preview” pictures to indulge him and get him really excited for your next meet. Men are visual creatures. Try out different looks (school girl outfit, really trashy looking body stockings, teddys, bras and undies) to keep your SD on his toes and intrigued with what you’ll be wearing next. Don’t wear lingerie each time you see your SD though, you naked works just as well sometimes.

-Research and practice. Read AskMen or Cosmo (sometimes questionable) or the Kama Sutra for new sex positions or sex tips. You can also bring sex toys into the bedroom (whips, handcuffs, vibrators, dildos) to keep things interesting. If you’re not into sex toys, try different flavored lubes, whip cream, syrups. Just be sure to clean up after! You don’t want to leave any marks or residue on your SD when he has to leave to head home. 

-Give good blowjobs. I cannot stress having a good head game enough. Men will literally turn to putty in your hands. Watch porn or read online technique posts for inspiration.

-Practice safe sex. My SD and I still use condoms when we have penetrative sex. Sometimes I get the feeling that he doesn’t want to, but he always does. You can’t risk your sexual health for any amount of money. A lot of men from the older generation seem to be uninformed about current STIs, birth control, etc. So educate yourself and educate your SD too.

-Dress to impress. Sometimes you can be sexy without even trying. I wore fishnet tights underneath a tight skirt with a loose top on a date with my SD. I thought my outfit was fairly relaxed. But Red said he couldn’t stop staring at my legs and still thinks about that outfit to this day. You can be unintentionally sexy and leave a lasting impression with just one outfit piece.

KEEPING THINGS INTERESTING CONVERSATIONALLY:

-People love to talk about themselves. I’ve taken a few psychology and sociology courses and I learned that people are very egocentric by nature. So asking your SD an open-ended question about HIMself, HIS work, HIS family, HIS hobbies, his cars, his interests etc., and then asking follow-up questions off that is a sure way to keep the conversation flowing.

-There are always safe topics. If you can’t seem to find the words, you can always refer back to safe topics like your day, his day, your school, his work, his family, your family, summer plans, plans together, talk about the food you’re eating, weather. Or just smile and flirt if all else fails! 

-Deeper conversations show maturity and intelligence. I also like to have somewhat deeper conversations with my SD about policy (minimum wage, cost of college, wealth disparity in this country), politics, family, relationships, marriage, religion, etc. People are complex individuals and I just enjoy learning about people’s thoughts and lives. It’s fun for me to pick the brain of someone twice my age who is successful, a white male, intelligent (Ivy league educated), and married. 

-Cherry picking is a conversational technique. It’s pretty useful in keeping a conversation going. You can read more about it here. I think I first read about cherry picking in a psychology/dating book. You’ll have much better active listening skills once you practice this too.

HOW I HUSTLE:

-The “planting the seed” hustle. I was able to get my SD to agree to a boob job, and now a new $20k car among other great gifts by “planting the seed.“ You don’t want to come right out and ask your SD for something big out of nowhere. I wouldn’t plan a whole speech or sitting your SD down at dinner and asking him point blank. He will feel ambushed and most likely say no. I would first bring up what I wanted casually and jokingly in conversation while we were having fun at dinner, or in private. You have to choose the “right” moment to bring it up initially and then continue to “water” and “feed” what you planted in his mind :)

-The “benefits you too” hustle. For my boob job, I didn’t even know I wanted one until I thought it would be cool to get big boobs one day. I decided to bring it up with my SD while we were being intimate (it’s hard to say no to a girl sucking your penis). My SD said he would think about it, but he soon said yes. I was able to sell him on me getting boobs because he gets to enjoy them too! My SD even said that he really liked the idea of buying me boobs because he got to be with the young/innocent (aka flat chested me), and then the bombshel/slutty (aka big boobed me). I also pointed out that getting me a car benefits my SD because I’ll be able to drive to him now when we meet. He agreed and said he didn’t think of the benefit to him before. The best sales people make you think you need to buy whatever it is they’re selling. So hustle smart, not hard.

LASTLY… -No doesn’t mean no. My SD has told me no before when I’ve asked for things. But no doesn’t necessarily mean no. My SD has changed his mind before on things I’ve asked for. It never hurts to ask again, and the worst thing your SD can say is no. Do not be resentful because your SD will be as generous as you are with him. 

Does this sound familiar…

“I want to sugar, but don’t want to give any sugar.” or “Is there a way for me to be a sugar baby without having to be seen with him, or have sex with him?”

Gggiirrrllll, I have found the perfect solution to your problems! Just follow this simple step and you won’t have to have sex with these older, successful men…

DON’T SUGAR!! Simple.

I have no sympathy for naive women who think they can post selfies and all the (LEGIT) SDs are gonna be like “😍😍😍💦💴💵💱💲👋🏼 drain my bank account babygirl!!” bitch, it don’t work like that.

You want him to buy you expensive stuff on the first/second/third date without having sex with him? That’s possible, but any man can do that… You want that allowance? You want that black card? You want his funds accessible to your every dying whim? Then bitch, you need to go on your knees & I’m not talking about praying. You need to be able to stomach a 40+ yr old ogling you from across the table - you can’t cringe when he reaches for your hand, or when he goes to kiss you - store associates will stare, waiters will stare, it seems everyone around you will stare. You need to be able to stomach putting a wrinkly dick anywhere near you and still sound convincing when you tell him how good or big he is & how much you love it. He will smell, he will be hairy, he will be out of shape, he will have kinks, and he will think he’s satisfying every inch of you. It’s your job to look him in the eyes, smile, and make him believe you are.