Krossy's addictions - brook edition

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More about me:

I don't feel quite comfortable enough to post any of my work yet but I am an art student!!

I'm a rookie vocaloid producer (I do other kinds of music too but I'm not as skilled in those so I have a lot to practise)

I'm diagnosed ADHD + Autism (& a few other things I'd rather keep private)

I LOVE horseshoe crabs, I am disgustingly educated about them so feel free to ask me literally ANYTHING about them

I'll add more to this section and introduction post as a whole with time but for now this is it

My main blog is @thewirtfulartist (not really) ((I rarely post))

thing's have been rather complicated recently, I'm only just logging back onto Tumblr today. I don't really want to go far with details but the short of it (though it's not really short) is that the main reason I suddenly went inactive is because of current political happenings in my country.

A good portion of the internet is getting blocked sometime in December to supposedly "protect the children" but there haven't been many details on how that will be executed, even though I am above the age of the ban depending on how the age verification works I may not be able to access the vast majority of my social media accounts until I am able to leave this country years in the (hopefully near) future because I refuse to give large social media corporations my ID or any other sensitive information. if the method is the proposed AI face verification I may stick around but even then I feel uneasy.

VPNs may be a good short-term solution for me but It might not be viable long-term one, knowing how my country tends to take after others with similar rules I wouldn't be surprised if VPNs also get banned later down the line.

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Another major reason for my tendency for disappearing online that I don't think I've ever spoken about before is that for most of my life I have dealt with (and been unable to get treatment for) constant obsessive compulsions and intrusive thoughts, one of the main obsessions my brain has latched onto has to do with the internet. Though I don't exactly feel comfortable sharing it given how many people online seem to see intrusive thoughts as some sort of hidden desire rather than what they actually are.

I am getting better when it comes to my Internet-related problems but it's been a very slow process that is still ongoing and has taken me multiple years already.

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I'd like to apologize for how long this took me to answer and all the people I suddenly ghosted if they happen to be reading this I want you to know that really it's nothing to do with you personally, these are very much my own issues at play.

I mean yeah I've been working on my own projects, my brook fanfics won't write themselves after all but mostly it's just stuff in my real life

Recently one of my friends chose being friends with my rapist over me despite knowing what my rapist did to me, and even if they didn't know I just really don't get it since they had said before they had no interest in being friends with my rapist because they're just generally a bad person (mostly BC they fetishise mental illness and are weirdly transphobic to me despite literally being trans themselves??)

the person they've decided is worth throwing our friendship away for has for many years refused to respect my wishes to just be left alone, my (now ex friend) literally saw how they acted so weird around me while I was unconscious after they hadn't seen me for years (I have a condition that at times can cause me to either go fully unconscious or just lose the ability to move my body and think clearly while still being partially aware) they were RIGHT NEXT TO THEM when my rapist immediately switched to she/her pronouns and started telling everyone else there that they are actually my super close buddy best friend???

I hadn't spoken to my rapist for years and now my teacher thinks they're a fucking safe person to leave me with if anything happens I fucking hate this so much and I don't want to deal with the consequences of speaking out, if my parents find out what happened to me I'm SO DEAD.

I can't believe someone who I thought was my friend would do this shit all because I had the AUDACITY to ask for a little bit of space, I feel like they're punishing me for it.

It makes me so mad how they still pretend like we're friends Infront of people as if they didn't cut me off on every platform under the sun after choosing to be friends with my rapist, today I walked in on both of them hanging out like we used to. I hate the fact I have to see them every day, I hate them both.