Brokest Minimalist

You need a landing and/or launch pad.  This is a spot in your house where you can dump your stuff when you come in the door, and where those same items will be waiting for you when you are ready to leave.  It should be reasonably close to the door you use most, which at our house is currently the front door.  It could be the back, if you come in your back door.  It could also be right inside your bedroom door, if you live with roomies or don’t trust your family not to move your shit.  We happen to have a table by the front door, which has a bowl and a paperweight on it.  We put our keys, phone, cards, Carmex, etc. in the bowl when we come in the door.  They will all still be waiting there when we leave.

Yeah, that’s a final utility notice.  We’re not pretending to be less broke than we are. The paperweight is there to secure incoming mail or documents you’re bringing in.  You don’t need a fancy one.  Even a rock will do.  No seriously, go on a hike and pick out a pretty and unique rock to use as your paperweight!  It’ll serve the same function and every time you see it you’ll be reminded of nature. Nature makes great frugal décor, and it doesn’t look frugal at all. Hanging over the table is a mirror, so that we can check our appearance before we head out. You can keep other often-used items here, such as umbrellas, hats/gloves in winter, your dog’s leash, etc.  Keep it organized, and don’t put it there if you don’t use it frequently.

This will simplify your life so much.  We know too many people who are rushed in the mornings, who have laid their phone down in some random place in the house, who can’t find their keys, etc.  This is a huge source of stress that you don’t need, and as minimalists we want to reduce wasted time and stress.  The landing/launch pad does both.  As broke folks, we can’t risk being late for work because of lost keys or a wandering cell phone.  If there’s an outlet nearby, stick a phone charger there so that you are at 100% when it’s time to leave again. We generally take our phone to bed with us, since we use it as an alarm, but we put it back in the bowl when we get up.

Now, it doesn’t have to be a bowl.  Perhaps you’d rather have a hook by the door for your keys, and your phone on a charger on a nearby table.  Maybe you’ve got some sort of plastic caddy or box that you like, or you’d just like to lay your keys right on the table.  Maybe you want to hang a basket by the door. That’s ok too, as long as all the things are within reach of each other and of the door, and as long as you consistently put them where they go.  Industrial employers have a saying about this: there’s a place for everything, so put everything in its place.  We like our bowl system, it works for us.  The bowl itself was made by our grandfather out of  a piece of driftwood he found in Florida.  Things that are both functional and sentimental are extra special and we encourage you to acquire your own unique bowl, or even to take a pottery class and make yourself one!  

…. for minimal health problems down the road!  We’re not workout snobs over here, but we do want to be reasonably fit so that we don’t suffer later, and we want that for all our lovely followers too.  You don’t have to be a size zero to be healthy, either.  Just get moving for 30 minutes a day to keep your circulation and lung capacity up and stave off arthritis and heart disease.

You don’t need a membership to a fancy gym.  We know they have cool features like indoor pools, saunas, and yoga classes, but if you’re broke like us or just don’t want to invest the money, then don’t.  Save your dollars and check out some of the frugal workouts below:

Walking/hiking: We walk twice a day almost every day, for about 15-20 minutes at a time.  This is the prescription for our dog’s arthritis, but you can walk farther or for longer periods of course.  Walking is relatively low-impact, burns calories, and is totally free.  You can walk in your neighborhood, or the park, or the mall, or up a mountain or in circles around your back yard.  Walking is easy and free.

Running: Running is higher impact and you’ll need good shoes, but it’s a great frugal way to burn calories and build muscle.  Beware of shin splints and unsafe running surfaces.

Yoga: Vinyasa yoga is great for light cardio!  That’s the style where you move from one pose to the next in a continuous flow, rather than holding one pose for a period of time.  Classes are fine, but if you don’t know if you’re that interested watch some videos on the interwebs and try it out at home!

Cardio: there are a ton of free workout videos on YouTube that you can follow along in your living room.  Wear sturdy shoes and get your family involved!

Weights: If you’ve got a couple of dumbbells, do some reps while watching your favorite show or listening to a podcast.  If you don’t have any, use books or soup cans or something until you can grab some on payday.

Pilates: pilates is great for building muscle and much of it can be done lying down. You could spend a few minutes doing some pilates moves before you get out of bed in the morning, or before you fall asleep at night.

Swimming: You can probably get into your local public pool for a couple dollars and swim, or even go to a friend’s house if they have a pool.  If you’ve got a good lake or river nearby, that’s even better.  Don’t go alone, and be sure of your swimming skills.  Swimming is awesome low-impact exercise.

Cycling: Got an old bike?  We bet a lot of you do!  Air up the tires and hit the streets!  We like to ride at night, so if you do then get yourself some reflective tape and slap it all over your bike and maybe your shoes.  Or, grab a headlight for it, they aren’t too expensive.  In fact, biking is a great alternative transportation if you want to save gas.  For some people the commute to work or store will be too long, but try it if you can.

Sit ups/push ups: These are straight out of elementary school P.E., but they are no less effective.  You can do them while watching a movie or waiting for your dinner to heat up.

There are plenty of other cheap and flexible workouts out there for you to try, so get googling if none of these appeal to you.  Always be safe and aware of your surroundings if you are going to be outdoors, and do some stretches and gentle warmups before any exercise. 

And if you miss a day, don’t get discouraged.  Sometimes you just don’t have the spoons to go for a jog on top of everything else, and that’s ok.  You can do better tomorrow.  Find a friend to help you stay motivated and get out there!

To minimize boredom, stagnation and complacency!  You’ll be more engaged with life and you’ll always have something to do, so you’re less likely to sleep until 3 in the afternoon. You’ll also maximize your earning potential and employability by learning new skills that you can apply at work or use on a resume when looking for new jobs.  Here are some new things you can learn for free on weekends:

Languages: There are lots of free ways to learn a new language, from borrowing books and media from your local library to grabbing a free app like Duolingo.  Check out the demographics in your area and see what language would benefit you most at your work.  Or, just pick one for fun!  We like to learn Japanese and spend 30 minutes a week increasing our Spanish vocabulary.

Sewing: Besides being able to mend your own clothes, which is a great minimalist skill that will keep you from replacing things until you absolutely have to, you can actually make money doing this.  We used to crochet hats and scarves for friends and coworkers, and they are great as Christmas or birthday gifts.  Hop on over to Etsy and see what a hand-knitted baby blanket sells for.  Seriously!  And it’s super easy.  Check out free videos at Lionbrand.com

Photography: Got a camera? Take a walk in nature and see what interesting photos you can come up with.  Brush up your skills and offer yourself at friends’ weddings or other events.  There are lots of great tips online for improving your pictures, plus tutorials and tools for editing them. Getting out into nature is also great for creating fun memories.

Writing: We are an actual published author.  We don’t make significant money, but with a few more books out we might could put a dent in our student loans.  Put your creativity to use and write stories or articles to be published online.  Websites will pay real dollars for well-written pieces.  Plus, you can never go wrong with improving your spelling and grammar; it’ll be great for resumes, cover letters and life in general.

Dog Training:  Ever wish your dog could shake hands and play dead?  Grab some books from the library and start training!  Remember that consistency is key, so follow the directions closely and don’t get frustrated if your dog doesn’t pick it up right away.  If one technique isn’t working, try a different one.  We’ve had good luck with clicker training on our (admittedly not smart) dogs.

Cooking:  As a minimalist, you should already be working to improve your cooking skills so you can minimize junk food and maximize nutrition.  These are skills that will serve you for the rest of your life, so try a new recipe every week.  You could even start a side business cooking for busy people or the elderly and delivering delicious, home cooked meals for them to reheat.

Computers:  You know how you have that one friend who will fix your computer for a pizza or a case of beer?  You could totally be that person.  Computers are irrevocably integrated into society and the industry is always changing.  There are plenty of online resources for keeping yourself up to date on what’s new and great.  Web design is easy to learn and you can be creative with it. Programming is lucrative and interesting, and there are lots of online resources.  You could write the next big smartphone app!

Dancing: You probably aren’t going to grow up to be Baryshnikov, but you’ll get some exercise and meet new people!  A bigger social network leads to more opportunities, plus dancing is just fun.  If it wasn’t, people wouldn’t do it.  You probably have a dance studio in your town that offers adult classes, so go check one out!

Gardening: You’d think you’d just throw some seeds in the ground, but it’s actually a little more complex than that.  Your library probably has an extensive section detailing what kinds of plants grow well in your area and how to grow them.  You can supplement your nutrition or even make some money by selling your extras at the farmer’s market!  Plus it’s a great way to get some fresh air and sunshine.

Drawing:  Did you spend time drawing on the back of test papers in high school, only to give it up as an adult?  Graphic design is a real thing and you need a little talent to accomplish it, but lots of art techniques can be self taught.  Look around online or visit your library, and if those fail you can probably take a class.  If you’re seriously interested in this you can turn it into a side business or even a career.

Astronomy: You know what’s cool?  Stars, that’s what.  Actually that’s incorrect.  Stars are very, very hot.  Like, soooo hot.  Hotter than Johnny Depp and Ewan Mcgregor together in the same room. You know that Hot Pocket you had two days ago that burned the shit out of your mouth and you can still feel it every time you talk?  Like they’re hotter than that.  Astronomy is a fun science and if you can get ahold of a telescope you might discover a new star!  

This list is not all-inclusive.  You could learn survivalist skills, electrical engineering, massage therapy, pottery, archaeology, or whatever you’re interested in.  Just don’t decide that you’ve already done the best you can do in life, because there is always more out there!  And it isn’t just about using these skills to make more money; it’s about being motivated to enjoy life and make progress no matter what.  Make a commitment each day to be better than you were yesterday; to know more things, to have more skills, to make a bigger impact.

And hey, we know you’re busy. Maybe you’re working two jobs just to stay afloat, maybe you don’t have a lot of spare time. Don’t run yourself into the ground trying to pick up a new skill, but find a few minutes here and there.  Knit two rows of a scarf before lights out.  Conjugate verbs instead of singing in the shower.  Do pirouettes in your kitchen while waiting for your microwave to ding.  Check out the links below for more inspiration!

To minimize tiredness, irritability, and misery.

Most of us broke folks work on our feet.  Whether it’s retail or food service, construction, manufacturing or even nursing, a lot of mediocre paying jobs don’t let their workers sit.  If you’re on your feet for 8 hours or more a day you’re likely to go home with swollen, achy feet and eventually develop blisters or even worse things like plantar fasciitis.

Hurting feet can affect your mood and a lot of aspects of your life.  You may not even realize it’s happening, but you may be less friendly to customers and coworkers, less likely to volunteer for extra hours (even though you may really need the money) and less likely to take care of personal business after work like running errands, cleaning house or exercising.

One of the reasons we stopped walking our dog as often as we should have was because of a manufacturing job that killed our feet and legs.  We gained weight from getting less exercise and our dog was a little stir-crazy.  It wasn’t a good excuse, but it was the reason.  Since then, we’ve learned a few ways to reduce the effects of a long, standing-in-one-place-for-10-hours or running-around-like-a-chicken-with-its-head-cut-off shift, so here are a few we’d like to share.

Wear good shoes.  We know, it’s hard to afford decent shoes when you’re struggling to have toilet paper, but find the money if at all possible.  You want sturdy, relatively non-flexible soles and good arch support.  We like New Balance, Brooks and Asics.  If it’s boots you need, avoid the cheapest and make sure they are sized correctly.  Expect to pay around a hundred dollars, but keep an eye out for sales and maybe you’ll get down to half of that or less.

Maintain your insoles.  Don’t use the insoles that come with your shoes.  Replace them with something appropriate to your own needs, whether it’s gel or memory foam or orthotics.  Replace them every 3 months or so, rather than wearing them for the lifetime of the shoe.  This is especially important for people who wear steel toed or other types of work boots and it will make a huge difference, trust us.

Maintain your socks.  This sounds like a no-brainer, but a hole in your sock can be uncomfortable and distracting.  If you’re wearing dress socks, especially women’s dress socks, they may actually cut into the bottom of your feet and cause real pain.  Wear soft cotton, bamboo or merino wool socks and replace them when they get thin or holey.

Lose weight if you need to.  You are beautiful, but if you’re carrying extra weight it can put extra pressure on your joints and heels.  Switch to water only, cut back on sweets, and get some extra exercise.  You’ll notice a difference pretty quickly.

Scrub your feet.  Don’t just let water and soap run over them in the shower, get a rag or loofa and scrub.  If you’ve got dead skin built up, give them a soak and then hit them with a pumice stone.  Put on a good, thick lotion before bed, or better yet some Vaseline.  Once they’re soft and smooth, stay on top of it.  Inspect them for dry patches weekly and keep them moisturized.

Trim your toenails.  Ever had an ingrown toenail?  They suck bad, and can result in trips to the doctor or even surgery (both of which cost dollars that you want to hang onto).  Keep your toenails trimmed and even.  Don’t cut them too short, and keep an eye out for fungus.

Do some stretches.  Touch your toes while standing or sitting. Roll your ankles.  Point and then flex your feet ten times before bed.  Grab your toes and pull them back toward you, and if you can’t reach them then use a belt to pull them back.  Or, stand on some stairs with just your tip toes and let your heels drop as far as you can off the back of the step.  Keep your feet and ankles flexible and they will treat you right.

Change your socks.  On your lunch break, or if you get a chance mid-shift, change your socks.  Keep a clean pair in your locker or lunch box or car and change them.  This sounds crazy, ok?  But just try it.  You’ll feel refreshed.

Give yourself a quick foot massage before and after work.  Take 60 seconds per foot and massage them gently to get blood flowing and relax your muscles.  Be sure to get your heels, instep and the ball of your foot, and gently stretch your toes if you’ve got time.  Look up some videos if you’ve never tried it.

Put your feet up when you get home.  Don’t just stick them on a chair or put your recliner up.  Lay on your bed or couch or floor or whatever and prop your feet up above your head for 20 minutes after you get home.  Run a bath, even, and put your feet up over the faucet. This will help reduce swelling or inflammation.  After your 20 minutes you can get up and go about the rest of your day.

Walk.  This may seem counterintuitive, but walking strengthens your feet, ankles and legs and keeps your circulation going. Walking is certainly preferable to standing in one spot for 8 hours, so move around as much as you can during your shift and take a brisk walk each day before and after work.  If you do work at a job where you stand in one spot, pump your legs every few minutes, roll your ankles and generally try to move around as much as you can.  Be extra sure to take a walk after work.

Soak your feet weekly in hot water.  Put in some bath salt or epsom salt and read a book for 20 minutes while they soak.  We’re not sure if this actually makes a long-term difference, but it feels great and it’s a good way to get a few minutes to yourself.

Wear compression hose.  This will help your legs too, but they are great for your circulation and will definitely reduce fatigue.  We think it’s worth investing in the fancy medical grade ones, but if you’re just trying them out then grab a low-compression pair from Wal-Mart or something.  Better brands like Jobst can be had at drug stores or online.

Take care of blisters, corns, calluses, etc. with appropriate treatment.  We know you’re not supposed to pop blisters, but we are guilty of doing so.  If you’re having persistent problems look into getting new shoes or see a doctor if you can.

EMERGENCY TRIAGE

If you’re having acute pain in your feet and you’ve got no choice but to go ahead and go to work anyway, try all of the following:

Ice your feet: Twenty minutes with an ice pack will reduce inflammation and numb pain.

Heat your feet: Twenty minutes with a hot pack or a bucket of hot water will relax your muscles and ease pain.

Massage your feet: Watch a video of how to do a proper massage and spend ten minutes on each foot.

NSAIDS: We like ibuprofen, but everyone responds to medicine differently so take a dose of what you know works for you.

Biofreeze: Some folks prefer Icy Hot or Absorbine, but we’ve found Biofreeze to be the longest lasting and most intense relief.

If these things fail, or if you’re having intense pain that won’t let up, or stabby pain every time you step, it’s time to go to the doctor.  If you’ve got to wait until payday then do what you can to make it until then. We’ve been there and done that, and we know it sucks but short of a miraculous windfall there’s nothing you can do but what you can do.  

We know this may seem like a minor problem compared to some of the stuff us broke folks deal with, but you don’t have to live like this. Believe us when we tell you that going through your day without pain on every step can change your whole outlook on life.  Your attitude will be more positive and you’ll dread work less.  You’ll be more active after work and on your off days, and more inclined to take the kids to the park or go dancing if you aren’t suffering.

Your kitchen sponge probably has more bacteria on it than your toilet seat.  Go look at yours.  Has it got stuff growing on it?  Does it smell like feet?  Throw that shit away.  Ya nasty, ya real, real nasty.

Pretty gross?  Yeah.  So let’s have a chat about that.  Bacteria can make you sick, which can make you miss work and school and spend money at the doctor’s office, which can make you broker than you have to be.  Being sick and missing work are not minimalist activities, nor are they good for your finances.

So, to minimize illness, brokeness, missed work and general ickiness plus that weird musty old dish sponge odor, we need a solution.  We’ve toyed with using dish rags instead, like our grandma did, but have found that they do not scrub as well as scrubby sponges.  We also don’t want to wash them in the same load with our towels, wash rags, or with our clothes and underwear. Bleach is a thing, but still. 

So, we have come up with a not-so-ingenious solution that isn’t ideal but will suffice until we think of something better.  So here it is: 

Buy sponges.  Cut the sponges in half.  You will then have twice as many sponges for the same amount of money, and even cut in half they will be more than sufficient for scrubbing.  Every night, do your dishes and then rinse the half-sponge well.  Microwave it for a minute and then leave it on the back of your sink to dry.  Throw it away weekly and get a new half.

We throw ours out on Fridays, but you can pick whatever day you like.  We are experimenting with ways to extend their spongy lives further, because we like to minimize waste as well, but currently no solutions have presented themselves.  When we think of something we’ll get back to you.

In the meantime, go get rid of that shit.  Wash your dishes and clean your sink out.  We’ll talk about making that a nightly habit in another post.  Happy weekend, peeps!

Not today, of course.  It’s cold as shit today.  But today is a good day to look into where and when you might want to plant a garden in the spring.

Now, planting a garden isn’t exactly a typical minimalist activity, but hear us out.  If you grown some vegetables you’ll be minimizing your grocery bill.  You’ll also be creating oxygen from the plants you grow, which negates your carbon footprint a teeny bit.  You’ll be spending some active time outdoors which can reduce stress, increase vitamin D production and reduce your risk of heart disease by giving you exercise.  So while you’ll have to spend a little time and money getting it going, you’ll be reducing stress, money spent, and potential health problems.

Yeah, ok, maybe it’s a stretch.  Have you ever eaten a home grown strawberry out of your back yard?  It’s fucking delicious, ok?  That’s the only excuse we need.  So here are some general steps you can take.  If you’d like to get more technical than this, check out the links at the bottom.

So, you’ll need to pick a spot.  You don’t have to worry about testing your soil unless you’re planning something huge and long-term, just pick a spot.  Sometime when the weather starts to warm up a bit, you can get out there with some tools and get rid of grass, weeds and rocks. 

In February or March you can pick out some seeds and start them indoors with one of those seed starter kits.  If you’ve got a UV light that’s great, but if not just stick it in a window and you’ll be fine.   Some good veggies to grow are carrots, potatoes, spinach, broccoli, pumpkin, tomatoes, or whatever you like.  Unless you’re really dedicated it’s better to avoid peas and beans, because you need SO MANY plants to get enough to make a whole potful.  Corn is likewise inconvenient.

A few herbs are a great idea too, as well as fruit.  You can start watermelon and canteloupe from seeds, but for many berries it’s easier to buy a plant.  Strawberries, blackberries, raspberries and even grape plants can be acquired from your nearby plant nursery.  Many of these are super easy to grow, just try to keep the birds and the bugs off them.  Google different methods for different plants, or ask the folks at your local nursery; they probably know your climate better than we do.

Be reasonable about how much effort you’re able to put into this endeavor.  Also, don’t grow vegetables you don’t like.  Do you think cauliflower is gross?  Us too.  We don’t grow it.  Also if something is too high maintenance for you, don’t fool with it unless you just really love to eat it.

In our area they say not to plant stuff in the ground until after Mother’s Day, when the last danger of frost is passed.  Check out an almanac or google recommendations for your area.  Plant things in neat rows or at least in patches so you can identify what they are until they start to produce fruit.  Water them every evening and fertilize them once a week or so.

You don’t have to go all out if you don’t feel like digging in the dirt.  You can do container gardening.  A tomato plant grows well in a five gallon bucket.  So do potatoes and carrots, in fact.   You can keep an herb garden on your kitchen counter or grow it in a couple of pots on your deck, porch or patio.

Gardens are a great frugal way to supplement your nutrition for a relatively tiny investment, a great way to spend time outdoors and get closer to mother nature, and a great way to spend time with your family.  If you’ve got kids this would be a prime opportunity to teach them where their food comes from and let them learn about the food pyramid.  Get out and dig in the dirt.

Flowers are great too, but if you’re broke don’t spend a bunch of extra money on them.  Get them as cheap as you can or start them from seeds.  Taking care of them is great for stress relief, and they can make your crappy yard look a little classier.

Clean the bathroom and make sure it is stocked for the week. Refill any prescriptions you are going to run out of before next Sunday.

If you work, make sure you have breakfast/coffee/lunch supplies for the week. Lay out all your work clothes and shoes.

Wash all your dishes and put them away.

Water your house plants, if you have any.

Take out the trash and put new trash bags in all cans.

Look over your calendar for meetings/appointments coming up.

Wash your sheets, make your bed, and fluff up your pillows in the dryer. The no-heat setting is fine.

Make sure your Landing Pad is all set up with things you’ll need.

If you have kids, make sure they have plenty of clean clothes for the week and that their backpack is ready. Ask them if they need supplies for any upcoming projects.

If you have pets, make sure you have plenty of food and any meds they may need for the week.

Make sure there is gas in your car and get all the trash out of it.

Check the weather and inform your family/roomies if that changes anything that is going on this week.

Log in and check your bank account just to make sure that you have what you think you have. Reconcile your budget and check what bills you need to pay this week.

In order to minimize your stress during an emergency, and minimize your risk of going into debt during said emergency, you need an emergency fund.

Now, let’s not play games.  If you’re paycheck to paycheck like us, creating such a fund can be a real hardship.  You want to put $10 a week in savings, but you need that $10 to buy gas to get yourself to work.  We feel you.  We live that every single week.

But consider this.  It’s Tuesday morning. You’ve got .27 cents in your savings and four bucks in checking, and your car breaks down.  It needs a three hundred dollar part, you don’t get paid till Friday, and your paycheck will only be $325, which leaves you $25 for gas, groceries, and anything else you might need for the next two weeks. Plus, with your car out of commission until Friday you’re going to miss three days of work and three days of pay.  If you have a particularly shitty job, you might actually get fired.

You’re screwed.

If, however, that .27 in savings was $1000, you’d just make a transfer on your phone, hand your debit card to the mechanic, and be back on the road in a few hours.  You might miss one day of work, not three, but it’s ok because you’ve still got $700 in savings to cover the missed hours.  

So it’s still a bad day, but you’re not screwed.

So how do you save that kind of money?  If you’re broke like us, bit by bit.  Cut your expenses as much as you can by creating a strict budget and assessing what things you need vs. what things you want but aren’t necessities.  It might seem impossible.  We know something comes up every week.  You set aside five bucks, but then on Thursday you run out of deodorant.  You set aside ten, but then you get sick and have to spend it on Sudafed and crackers.

We know, dudes.  We know.

Do what you can.  Automate your savings using direct drafts or even deposit a small % of your pay into another account.  An online savings account is ideal, they often have high interest yields but are still easily accessible. Or, hide a five under your mattress every week. Put your change in a piggy bank.  Do something, is what we’re saying.  We know it’s hard, but giving up isn’t an option.  If there’s an emergency then tap into it, and replace it as soon as possible.  

What have we done to fund our emergency savings?  No streaming media, no soda, no fast food.  That ten bucks we would have spent on Netflix goes into savings instead. It’s a slow process, but it’s better than nothing.  And hey, we’ll be honest.  We got sick a couple weeks ago and had to spend money on medicine and miss work.  Our account currently has $11.67 in it.  That’s our emergency fund.  Sigh.

We know how Sisyphus felt.

♫ INTERMISSION ♫

Now that you’ve got your emergency fund started, it’s important to decide what constitutes an emergency, so let’s consider a few scenarios.

Broken car: if there is no public transportation in your area, this is an emergency.  You need to get to work.  Tap into your emergency fund.

Broken house: If your toilet is broken, or your roof, or a window (and it’s winter and can’t wait) those are emergencies.  If you aren’t able to fix those yourself, tap into your emergency fund.

Broken appliance: If your fridge or hot water heater quit, those are emergencies.  You need food and you need to shower. Hit your emergency fund. (PS, if it’s your dryer then don’t, because air dries things for free.)

Lost your job: If you find yourself suddenly unemployed, you can use your emergency fund to keep your lights on and food on the table.  You need to find another job immediately, though.  That’s another post.

Illness or Injury: Got a cut that needs stitches?  Running a fever over 102?  You need to hit the urgent care clinic.  If you haven’t got insurance, tap into your emergency fund.

Broken glasses: If, like us, you are required to wear corrective lenses in order to drive a car, then yes, this is an emergency.  Replace them, and replace the funds in your emergency account as soon as you are able.

Sick pet: If your dog or cat or hamster needs to go to the vet, tap into your emergency fund.  We’ll probably have some readers who disagree, but if you have a pet then you’ve made a commitment to care for that animal in sickness and in health.  Denying medical care is animal cruelty. If you can’t afford the vet, you can’t afford the pet.

Now, what are not emergencies?  Let’s look at a few non-emergencies:

A new movie came out and you don’t get paid until Friday:  Well, wait until Friday, you whiner.

You want some pizza: No.

You need a new outfit for a party: No.

Your phone broke: Get a new one on Friday. You can get a pre-paid one for fiddy bucks.

Spontaneous road trip: No.

You forgot to buy Christmas gifts: Too bad, so sad.

Your friends have something cool and you don’t: Cry us a river.

Your Xbox died: Not an actual problem, move along.

As you can see, there are many inconveniences in life that may suck, but are not a valid reason to use your emergency stash.  Make yourself a list of acceptable emergencies and stick to it.  Obviously you can’t foresee everything that might happen in life, but use reason and be open-minded about what you’re willing to do without.  

Yeah, you know who you are.  You’ve got sixty pairs of flip flops clogging up the bottom of your closet.  You can’t store anything under the bed because there’s too many shoes.  And you’ve got thirty pairs with one missing, but you cant throw them out because as soon as you do you’ll find the other one.

Guess what?  You don’t need them.  We have three pairs of shoes.  No, wait, we take that back.  We have four.  We have three pairs we wear and one pair of dress shoes that live in a box in our closet that we only wear to weddings, funerals and job interviews.  Those shoes don’t get out much.  We have two pairs of running shoes and one pair of house shoes.  That’s it.  

You don’t need ten different pairs of tennis shoes. For most people, a sturdy pair of walking or running shoes will do fine for most situations.  If you run as a hobby, choose the running shoes.  If you’re in retail you can probably wear these to work.  You can wear them everywhere else, too.  Running errands, walking your dog, doing housework.

Your house shoes can be anything.  Ours is a pair of worn out Skechers that are too beaten up to be seen in public.  We wear them for cleaning house when we aren’t barefoot at home, and for running out to get the mail.

Your one pair of dress shoes needs to match the base color of your capsule wardrobe, if you have one.  Dark blue or black, or khaki.  Keep them in the box they came in and take good care of them. Dress shoes tend to be expensive, so you don’t want to have to replace them anytime soon.  Ours is a pair of flats made by Vionic.

Ladies, if you are a skirt-wearer then yeah, you don’t want to wear your running shoes with those.  In that case, a pair of plain ballet flats or Bobs will go with most stuff.  You don’t need fifty of them, just one.

In summer, you may decide to get a pair of sandals.  Get them in the base color of your capsule wardrobe. Don’t get fifty, just one.

Do not buy flip flops.  Flop flops are an abomination.

We will, of course, make allowances for hobbies.  If you like to hike, you may want to invest in a good, solid pair of hiking boots.  We tend to hike in our running shoes, but we have a geriatric dog with us and can’t take any steep trails.  If you do, go ahead and get a pair.  If you’re a fisher, a hunter, or you need specific shoes for work, do not hesitate to have a pair.  Don’t do without just because you’ve labeled yourself a minimalist; that’s not what this is about.

A few more notes:

Work shoes wear out faster than other shoes because you wear them every single day.  If your feet are hurting, it may be time for new ones.  Invest in good ones and make them last.

Invest in quality insoles if you have foot problems.  See a podiatrist if you have the dollars, foot problems are a bitch.

If you’re worried about looking broke because of old shoes, clean them.  A rag with hot water and dish detergent can get rid of a lot of filth.  So can oven cleaner, believe it or not.  We don’t want to encourage you to worry about what other people think, but maintaining a neat appearance is great for your self-confidence.

Don’t skimp on shoes.  We know we’re the brokest, but if you buy twenty dollar shoes from the Walmart to work in you’re going to regret it very quickly.  Shoes are something you can justifiably invest a decent amount of money in.  $100 will get you comfy shoes that will last you a year instead of a month.  Don’t feel guilty about doing this.

Many shoes can be washed in the washing machine.  Lay them in direct sunlight to dry.  The heat from the dryer can cause the soles to shrink and warp, so don’t put them in there.

If you do yard work yourself, you may want a pair of rubber boots for grass mowing and things.  These don’t really count toward your regular shoes.  We keep ours in the utility room.  Shake them out before you put them on, in case there are spiders.

Put smelly shoes in the freezer overnight to kill the bacteria causing the smell.

A few years ago, at the beginning of our journey, we did the 365 Things challenge, where you find one object in your house each day that you don’t need and you get rid of it.  You donate it, or sell it, or otherwise find it a home.  At the end of the year, we had found probably three times that many things and our house was much, much more beautiful.

This is a great way to kick start your new life as a minimalist, if you haven’t already.  If you start it, keep a notebook and record each item you get rid of, so you can see your progress.  You can even record your reasons for choosing that particular item. Take a picture of the object each day, so you can go back through a year from now and see all the crap you had that you didn’t need.  It’s so freeing to look around and find that you have some empty space where before you had meaningless clutter.

We haven’t repeated the challenge, but to keep up the decluttering mentality and to hold ourselves accountable, we still find one object once a week. If you aren’t ready for this to be an everyday task, once a week is a fine place to start too.  Once a week, look around your house and find some object that you can do without. (Actual trash does not count.) Maybe it’s something that has a duplicate.  Maybe it’s an old book you can donate to the library.  Maybe it’s a shirt with a hole you know you’re never going to sew up.  Maybe it’s equipment from an old hobby you’ve lost interest in.

You know what minimizes a lot of other problems?  Getting plenty of sleep.  If you’ve had a good night’s sleep the day seems less daunting.  Balancing your checkbook won’t seem so mathy.  You’ll be able to take your dog for a longer walk.  You’ll dread your crappy job a little less if you aren’t still groggy at 2 PM.

We are envious of people who can just lay down and go to sleep.  For us, it’s always a struggle.  We have a sleep disorder plus anxiety, so falling asleep is an hours-long process.  We can get in bed at 10pm and lay awake until the sun is up.  Our brain runs away with us, and no matter how tired we are our eyes don’t want to close.

So how do we get rid of insomnia? For us it’s a prescription drug we can’t afford to buy.  But there are some other less-effective but still worthy things we can do to get more and better sleep.  You’ll be more productive, you’ll be in a better mood, and you’ll drive more safely.  So here we go:

Don’t stay up on purpose: This may seem obvious, but don’t stay up all night on the phone or browsing the internet or playing video games.  We are guilty of staying up all night reading when the last Harry Potter book came out, and we had to go to work at 8 that morning.  We literally read until 7:40 and then left to go to work in last night’s clothes. We don’t regret it, but we can’t recommend it either.  Don’t do it.  Those dragons will still be there for you to kill tomorrow. Shut it off an get in bed.

Create a minimalist bedroom: this deserves its own post, but you can start with getting rid of clutter and opening up extra space in your room.  Blank surfaces are a plus.  Visual clutter encourages mental clutter, and that’s the opposite of what you want at bedtime.  If you’ve got a bunch of junk in there shove it in a box in the closet so that it’s out of sight and out of mind, at least when you’re trying to sleep.

Create a comfy bed: You spend more time in bed than in any other place in your house, probably.  You spend like a third of your life sleeping.  You deserve a comfortable bed.  Whether for you that’s a mattress, a couch, or a futon, it should be a good one. Our mattress came from Amazon for a couple hundred dollars and it’s pretty great for the money. We have a waterproof mattress pad too, for hot chocolate accidents or dog barf.  Invest in warm blankets and high-quality sheets if you can find the dollars.  A good pillow is essential too, if you sleep on your side or stomach like us. Here’s a good one on Amazon.  It’s spendy, but take care of it and it’ll last you a decade.  You don’t need fifty pillows, either.  Just one per person.

Temperature: If it’s too hot or too cold, fix it.  Your bedding should be appropriate to the season, and if it’s hot you should have a fan both for white noise and air flow.  In winter a heated mattress pad will be your very best friend, and is superior to electric blankets in many ways.  Make sure your feet and hands stay warm, because if either are cold you’ll feel cold all over.

Air quality: If it smells like old gym socks in your room, fix it.  If it’s dusty, fix it.  Clean that shit up like an adult.  If you have allergies and you can afford it, invest in an air purifier.  Those are good for both air quality and white noise.  If you can’t, a few friendly house plants are great at purifying air for you.

Wash your sheets: You seriously need to wash your sheets once a week.  Yes, really. Keep two sets and put the clean ones on when you throw the dirty ones in the washer.  Don’t wash your pillow as often,  but do fluff it up in the dryer on no-heat and change the pillowcase.

Get blackout curtains: You don’t want to be woken up by the sun if you’re a night shifter, so get some blackout curtains put up and make sure they cover the whole window.  There is nothing worse than a beam of nuclear energy punching you in the face at 7 AM when you just got off work three hours ago.

White noise:  We like rainymood, but you can use a fan or other noisemaker to create white noise.  It’ll drown out the traffic/roomies/pets/creaky house.

Sleep mask: if you can’t manage with the blackout curtains, or if there’s some object in your room that emits light, get a cheap sleep mask or even cover your eyes with a bandana or towel.  Light is distracting.  Turn the tv off.  In fact, don’t have a tv in your bedroom.

Create a bedtime routine: make yourself a checklist of things to do before bed and start doing them religiously every night.  Over time your brain will start to associate these behaviors with getting ready to sleep.  For example, you might go around and turn off all your lights, get your pets/kids settled down, then take a shower and brush your teeth, do some stretches, then you might read for 30 minutes.  Think up your own routine and stick to it.

Take a hot bath/shower: This will raise your body temperature, then when you get out your temperature will drop.  This is what happens when you lay down, so it comes with a side effect of making you drowsy.  Ignore your grandma’s warnings about going to bed with wet hair; it won’t be pretty in the morning but you won’t die of pneumonia either.

No screens: Put away the electronics for one hour before you go to bed, including phones, tablets, computers and tv.  Find a nice book to read, or do some yoga, or meditate.  Do not Facebook or play video games or anything else.  We will make an exception for ebook readers, if you’ve got one.  But you may use it to read books only.  Do not have a tv in your room.

Practice good sleep hygiene: Go to bed at the same time every night, if you can, and try to get up at the same time each morning.  Even if you only fell asleep a couple hours ago.  You need to reset your circadian rhythm.  Our doctor did this to us once with prescription drugs and it was a bad week.  We don’t recommend that.  Instead, move your bedtime/wakeup time by an hour each day for a week for a more gentle adjustment.

Yoga/meditation: These aren’t exactly a cure-all, but they can help you relax and loosen up tired muscles before you lay down.  Look up some videos on YouTube and try it.  It certainly won’t make you sleep worse.  And hey, you might fall asleep on the floor during Corpse Pose.  They say it’s good for you back.

Tell your pets to go screw: We like sleeping with our dog, but we admit he can be gross and clingy.  Sometimes he wants to rub his face all over our hair.  Sometimes we wake up and he’s standing on our back with his sharp toes.  If your pets are stopping you from getting a good night’s sleep, find a safe cozy place for them to sleep away from your bed and train them to sleep there.  Crate train them, or lock them in the bathroom overnight with a nice doggy bed (and all edible items including soap put away; our dog once ate three bars of Irish Spring.  He didn’t die, but we bet he wished he had.)

Breathe Right strips: These things have changed our life.  You don’t need to be sick to benefit from them. We spent 30 years only being able to breathe through one nostril when we were laying down.  As a kid we complained to adults about it and were ignored.  We recently tried Breathe Right strips after having them recommended by someone at a work conference and we sleep much better now.  Not being able to breathe properly is distressing, and that’s not a good recipe for sleep.  You don’t even need fancy ones, just get the off brand.  The extra bit of plastic we’re putting in the landfill every day hurts our feelings, but we’re working on figuring out a solution.

Stop worrying: This one is hard.  We want to lay down and clear our mind, but we wind up thinking about that weird thing we said one day in sixth grade and having a belated panic attack about how awkward we used to be.  We wonder about what happened to that one bounty hunter from  Star Wars, or how many years mice can live if they have a steady diet of peanut butter.  Here’s a sort-of solution: keep a notebook by your bed and write it down as it occurs to you.  Instead of thinking about it for hours at night, jot it down and then tell yourself you’ll look it up or deal with whatever it is tomorrow.  In the case of anxious thoughts, schedule yourself a time to freak out about whatever it is for ten minutes, tomorrow.

Drink water when you wake up:  Sometimes when you can’t get woken up in the morning, it’s because you’re a little dehydrated.  Especially if you live in an arid climate.  Keep a glass of water on your nightstand and chug it first thing in the morning, then go get in the shower.  This’ll wake you up as much as coffee, which you shouldn’t be drinking.  Don’t use caffeine as a band-aid for a bad night’s sleep; solve the problem itself and you’ll do much better.

No caffeine: Some sources recommend no caffeine after 4 PM or noon or something.  We recommend no caffeine ever.  Caffeine is a drug, and a not-harmless one.  Some studies show that it stays in your system longer than we think, especially if you have a slower metabolism.  For the best sleep, being caffeine-free is safest.  If you need to wake up in the morning, take a brisk, hot shower with minty shampoo or body wash and drink lots of water.

No alcohol: Some folks find that drinking themselves into a stupor is a good way to fall asleep.  Not only is this dangerous, you’ll suffer a hangover in the morning, which isn’t better than being sleepy all day.  Plus, passing out drunk  isn’t the same quality of sleep as regular sleep, so you won’t be as rested as if you went to sleep sober.

Sleep aids: We saved this one for last, because we don’t like to encourage people to take medicine.  That said, sometimes you have to get up and do Important Adult Shit in the morning and you need something to knock you out.  So here are some things: Benadryl, the allergy medicine, also sold as ZZZquil and under other names.  It’s super cheap as a generic (look for diphenhydramine) and will put most people out.  Nyquil/Unisom (generic doxylamine) is effective, and also great if you’ve got a cold.  Melatonin works, but you build up a tolerance to it so don’t take it every night.  Valerian is a potent herb that works, but be forewarned that it will make you dream crazy shit.  Don’t take more than what the bottle tells you to, and don’t take it if there’s any chance you might have to get up and do stuff/drive a car within a few hours.  With any of these be prepared to have a groggy hangover in the morning.  Do not ever mix any of these with alcohol.

Maximizing your sleep is great for minimizing stress.  It’ll boost your attitude about life.  You’ll get more done and you’ll be better able to let go of caffeine, which, as we’ve said, is bad for you.  Minimalists don’t need insomnia, and broke people certainly don’t.  Do what you can to fix yours, and your life will improve considerably.

This is a project we’ve been working on for five years or so: reducing our electricity usage.  This reduces our bill, first and foremost.  It also reduces our carbon footprint, saving the earth a little bit. There is no downside to conserving electricity.  There is literally no reason not to. It’s a great minimalist activity.  It’s also kind of fun.  We are always waiting with anticipation to see our newest bill, to see if we’re winning or not.  We judge winning based on our electric bill for the same month in the previous year.  For example, if our electric usage for January 2018 is less than it was for January 2017, we’re winning.  You don’t have to keep old bills to do this.  Your electricity company probably has a website where you can log in and see your past usage for a certain number of years.  Ours goes back to 2012, so we can see graphs of our usage over the 12 month period and compare it to what’s current.  Look yours up and see what it’s like.  Have you been using more energy recently, or less?

This is an ongoing project with a lot of little details.  Looking over this long list won’t seem very minimalist, but a lot of these are one-time tasks that you’ll never have to do again unless you move to a new house.  Once they’re done, they’re done.  Others are once-a-year tasks, while a few are behavior modifications (like turning off light switches or taking shorter showers).  You can’t do them all at once unless you’re not broke, so take a look over the list and see which ones you can mark off right now.  Then, come back to this post in a few weeks and see what else you can accomplish. Keep an eye on your bill, so you’ll see the immediate benefits.

Turn off the lights: This one is an easy behavior modification.  Turn off the lights when you leave a room.  Turn off the lights when you leave the house.  Yes, even the porch light.  It might give you the illusion of security, but trust me: if a burglar wants to get into your house, a porch light won’t stop them.  Turn it off.  If you really feel unsafe without it, get a solar motion-sensor light. Sleep your computer, too.  If you aren’t already in the habit, start today.  Turn lights off.

Replace all your bulbs with LED bulbs: this is an investment up front, but with a potentially significant payoff.  As your incandescent or CFL bulbs begin to die, go ahead and replace them one at a time with good quality LED light bulbs.  They use a fraction of the electricity and will last for years and years.  You’ll save on bulb replacements and on electricity usage.  Now, that doesn’t mean you can leave them on all the time. Continue turning off lights when you leave the room, even if they are LED ones.

Take shorter showers: you are paying to heat that water.  Don’t empty the tank every time you shower.  Five minutes is all you need. You’ll save water, too.

Insulate everything: This is the one that will make the most difference, as climate control is the biggest energy drain in almost every house. Add weather stripping, caulk and insulation to every nook and cranny you can find.  This will keep your house cooler in the summer and warmer in the winter, reducing A/C costs year round.  Be creative with canned spray foam.  Use paintable caulk to fill in cracks and then hide them.  Buy some cheap light switch/outlet gaskets, they only cost a few cents each and pay for themselves. Get a fiberglass blanket for your water heater.  Inspect your windows carefully and eliminate any gaps.  If you have a nice financial windfall and you own your house, replacing windows can make a huge difference to your bills.

Cover your windows: Even if you have newish windows, and especially if you don’t, invest in heavy thermal curtains or blackout curtains. These will block UV light in summer, keeping your house a few degrees cooler. You can still open them to let light in, but keep the ones on the side of the house the sun is shining on closed.  In winter, they are heavy enough to block out some of the cold. Open them during the day to let sunlight warm your house, then shut them tight when the sun goes down.  Get some window kits and cover your windows with the plastic.  If you can’t find any, get some cheap clear shower curtains from the dollar store and nail them up underneath your curtains. Tape the edges with masking tape.  This will trap the cold air away, and you can take them down in the spring.

Maintain your appliances: Have your furnace and a/c inspected and tuned up annually.  Clean your fridge coils.  If you use your dryer, and you shouldn’t if you can help it, make sure the lint trap and vent hose are clear.  An appliance that isn’t running efficiently uses more electricity than necessary and can even be a fire hazard.  Invest in the most energy efficient ones you can afford.  If you’re broke like us, keep using the ones you have until they just won’t go anymore.

Don’t use your dryer: Clothes dryers, as we’ve said, are a frivolous waste of electricity.  Air dries things for free.  Hang your clothes out in the sun, or in your house if it’s rainy or below freezing outside.  This will be a not-insignificant savings.  You’ll probably see a drop of 20 bucks on your bill if you stop completely.

Use ceiling fans properly: In summer, ceiling fans should rotate counterclockwise on a high speed.  Fans don’t cool the air, but they make us feel cooler by the process of evaporation.  In the summer, use them to full advantage.  In the winter, they should run clockwise on the lowest setting.  Hot air rises, so this will gently blow the warmer air down to your level.  If you aren’t in a room, turn the ceiling fan off just as you would a light.

Use electric blankets in winter: These only use a few watts and you’ll stay super cozy.  Or at least, your dog will when he steals it.

Air dry your dishes: just like the clothes dryer, letting your dishwasher dry your dishes is wasteful.  If you use the dishwasher, put it on air dry.  If yours is a bajillion years old and doesn’t have that setting, just stop it after the wash cycle and open the door so your dishes can dry.

Check your thermostat:  In the summer, keep it as warm as you possibly can stand.  For us this is about 78 degrees.  Yes, really.  You won’t die.  Wear some shorts, use your ceiling fans.  Take a cool shower. You’ll be fine.  In winter avoid using your furnace unless it’s very cold.  We had planned to keep ours set to around 60 degrees, until we figured out that it was broken.  Instead we are using electric space heaters to heat only the room we are in at the time.  If you do use your furnace, keep it set as cool as you can stand and bundle up against the chill.  Use electric blankets on your bed to stay toasty at night, they use only a few watts and will keep you warmer than if you try to heat the surrounding air anyway.

Find energy vampires: these are devices that use standby power when they are off. The clock on your microwave, for example.  Unplug that shit.  That’s wasted money.  Your cable box, tv and dvd player probably do too; put those on a power strip and turn it off when you’re done watching. We actually unplug all our crap.  Our washer and dryer are unplugged right now.  So are the tv and Fire Stick, the microwave, the crock pot, and the lamp in the living room.  You don’t have to be crazy like us, but if you think a device is using power when it’s off, even if it’s just to keep a little blinking light on, unplug it.

Get rid of hair dryers and curling irons: your hair will dry.  These things waste energy and are also fire and burn hazards.  We remember having our grandma burn the crap out of our head with a big old 70’s hair dryer when we were a kid (in the 90’s, btw).  We’d complain that it was too hot, she’d ignore us, and two days later our scalp would start peeling.  These things are dangerous.  If you want curly hair, get a set of sponge curlers.  They were good enough for grandma and they’re good enough for you.  

Use the microwave: as much as possible, cook things in the microwave instead of on the stove or in the oven.  The microwave uses the least electricity of these.

Get rid of scented plug ins: throw that crap away.  Get some scented candles.  Done.

Open your blinds and curtains during the day: the sun provides plenty of light, so you shouldn’t need to turn on lights until after dark. Open up your blinds to let the sunlight in so you can see, and so it can warm your house in winter.  In summer, close the blinds/curtains on the side of the house where the sun is, to block out the extra heat.

Open your windows in the evening in the summer: When it’s hot during the day, keep the windows shut and the curtains pulled, at least on the side where the sun is shining in.  After the sun goes down, if it’s cooler outside than inside, open your windows and doors to let the cool night air in.  Shut them before the sun comes up and trap the nice cool air inside.  It’ll stay cool for a few hours before you have to turn the A/C on.  We do not recommend sleeping with your door open, ftr.  If you’ve got mosquitoes, get screens.  

Trap your desired temperature: If you’ve got open doorways between rooms where there aren’t actual doors, hang curtains or blankets there to keep your climate controlled air from escaping into other parts of the house.  We use clear shower curtains in winter to trap heat in our living room.  We don’t need to heat the kitchen if we aren’t in the kitchen, right?  You can do this with air conditioning too if you’ve got a window unit.  If you aren’t using central but you still have air registers in your house, cover them with plastic.  Do not cover air registers in unused rooms if you are using the central, this is bad for your unit and duct work. Just let them blow.

Dress for the season: if it’s 90 degrees outside, wear shorts and a tank top and put your thermostat on 78.  If it’s 10 degrees outside, bundle up in layers and wool socks and put your thermostat on 60. You will be fine.  You will acclimate, even. We promise.

Wash your clothes in cold water: heating water uses electricity. Unless you’re washing something that’s very greasy, use cold water.  

Use the eco settings on everything: Your computer probably has this, so does your tv.  Use this setting on every device that offers it.

Shade your roof: with deciduous trees.  That is, ones that lose their leaves in the winter.  You gain a lot of heat from the sun shining directly on your roof in the summer, so you want it to be shaded by trees so your house stays a little cooler.   In winter you want that extra warmth hitting your house, though.  If you don’t already have trees growing this can be a very long-term project.  If you own the property, do some research on the subject and plant some good, hardy trees in strategic locations.

Shade your A/C: air conditioning is by far the biggest energy hog in your house.  It’ll run more efficiently if it’s not in direct sunlight, so plant some shade trees.

Use space heaters: Leave your furnace off and use space heaters to heat only the room you are in, rather than the whole house.  (Make sure your pipes are insulated first.) This will save lots of energy. If, however, you do need to heat the whole house, do not use space heaters to do so.  Not only will you have a ridiculous bill, you’ll likely burn your house down.

(Yeah that’s our furniture-free bedroom, but that’s another post!

Turn off the furnace/air conditioner when you are away: There’s a myth that says it takes more energy to heat your house up if it’s gotten cold than if you just leave the heat running constantly.  This is 100% false.  If you leave, turn everything off.  Even if you’re gone for eight hours for work, your house isn’t likely to be freezing inside when you get back.  It’ll heat back up within twenty minutes or so, and it won’t use more electricity that way.  So turn it off when you leave.

Hibernate in winter: When the weather’s cold, pick one room to heat and stay in there rather than moving around.  If you’ve got a family your body heat will keep the room even warmer.  You can play board games or do puzzles.  We hibernate in our bedroom during winter and mostly abandon the rest of the house.  We venture out occasionally for food or to pee, but we come back quickly.

There are other things you can do, but these are the ones we’ve found that make the most difference.  We’ll post results as we try new things so everyone can see.  Shaving money off our utility bill has made the most difference to our finances recently.  When we first moved here we got a $500 electric bill for August, the hottest month here.  We’d reduced that to $57 by November.  Now that it’s cold and we’ve been using space heaters instead of the fire, we’re up to $85 or so.  If we can stay under $100 for the rest of the winter that’ll be significant.

You can make a difference right now.  Go turn something off.  

Caffeine is bad for you.  Yeah, we’re saying it.  It’s dehydrating.  It can cause excessive, misplaced aggression.  It can cause or aggravate heart problems.  It can also trigger anxiety attacks. If it were up for FDA approval today, it probably would not be approved.

So, quit.  It’ll be hard, if you drink a lot of it.  But stop.  You’ll feel shitty for a few days, but then you’ll be better than you have in years.  You’ll reduce your stress, you’ll reduce your insomnia, and you’ll reduce how much you spend on coffee/soda/energy drinks. Those are worthy goals.  Make it your New Year’s resolution for 2018.

Really, you should only be drinking water.  That leaves few other sources for caffeine.  Don’t take energy pills or those weird pre-workout jelly beans.  Chocolate has a tiny amount of caffeine, but we can’t in good conscience tell anyone to give up chocolate, so go ahead and have some.

You don’t need an iPhone X.  You don’t need an S8.  If you’re broke like us, you can’t afford to spend the money.  You don’t need the stupid add-ons that you’ll be forced to buy for them, like the bluetooth earpods or the Otterboxes or the Glass Shields.  Hey, if you win the lottery tomorrow, go nuts.  Buy ten iPhone X’s and keep one in each room of your house.  But you won’t, so here we are.  

Here at Brokest Minimalist, we advocate for ditching your landline. Landlines are stupid.  Especially the upgraded ones that AT&T has been installing around our town.  Many people have been forced to switch to VOIP landlines, which is dumb because if the internet or power go out, so does the phone.  The main advantage of landline phones was that they worked during power outages, and now they won’t. You certainly don’t need one if you’ve got a cell phone, too.  So let them go.  Throw the old handset away and end your contract.  They’re obsolete.  Simplify your life and reduce your bills.

Now, take a look at the phone you already have.  There’s probably nothing wrong with it.  If it’s getting a little slow, have it tuned up. Delete some apps, remove pictures, change your settings so you’re using less data and less battery power.  If you’ve got a few extra bucks this week, buy it a nice new case or something.  Spruce it up. It’s fine.  It’s only not fine if it’s not working properly or if it’s got some kind of actual broken part, like buttons or screens. We know the appeal of the newest phones.  They’re fast, they’re pretty, they’re shiny.  But we once had a coworker who told us a great trick for avoiding them:  imagine yourself standing there in the store, with the shiny new phone in one hand and the exact amount that the phone is going to cost you, in cash, in the other.  Which would you rather have, the phone or the thousand dollars?  We know the correct answer, and we think you do too.

Resist consumerism.  Resist keeping up with the Joneses.  Trust me, the Joneses have problems you don’t even want to know about.  As broke people, we don’t want to spend the money on a new phone.  As minimalists, we don’t want to throw out our perfectly good current phone that used the earth’s resources to make and will just clutter up a landfill somewhere if we get rid of it.  Electronic waste is a new problem, but it’s going to be a big one.  Some of these things contain toxic chemicals that can leach out into the environment and poison plants and wildlife and people.  We don’t want to put something like that back into the ground until we absolutely can’t avoid it.

We currently have a Samsung J3 that we bought for about eighty bucks. We have a Boost Mobile plan for $30 a month, with unlimited talk/text and 2 gigs of data.  It’s not a bad plan, and we get pretty good service wherever we go.  It’s not exactly Verizon, but we can’t afford Verizon anyway and we don’t want to be chained to a contract with anyone.  Plus, with prepaid, we are free to shut off our phone anytime we choose.  Perhaps we’re moving, or going on a tech-free vacation.  We don’t have to argue with anyone about disconnection fees.  We simply don’t pay the bill, and that’s that.

So please, take a few minutes this week to evaluate your phone situation.  If you already have the newest and shiniest, good for you.  Take good care of it, because you want that investment to last. Reconsider your carrier, find out if you’re getting the best deal or if there is somewhere else where you’d pay less for the same service. Free yourself from contracts, if you can.  You can probably even keep your phone number and get a discount for bringing your own phone. We left Verizon in 2014 and it’s still one of the best decisions we ever made.

Well. I still do advocate for the cheapest phone and the cheapest plan, but I can say that a few years ago I got in a fight with my provider and PURELY OUT OF SPITE I went and bought a Galaxy S21 and a T-Mobile plan that includes 5G home internet. It is more money than I should be spending, but the phone itself is paid for and is going on 5 years old without a single hiccup. If you can swing it, Samsung makes a great product. Just don't buy a new one every year. Take care of your things, repair rather than replace if able.

We are too broke for soda.  We are too broke for sweet tea.  We drink tap water.  Bottled water is stupid and wasteful.  Plastic bottles are filling landfills and harming wildlife.  They also cost money. We occasionally buy it when there is no other source (like when we’re stuck at work) but when we’re at home we drink tap water.  If your tap water tastes funny, get a Brita pitcher or something.  If you’re broke like us, you can’t afford to drink Dr. Pepper every day. 

Like, we’re guilty.  We used to buy cases of soda and drink them all day.  We can’t be allowed near orange Fanta because we’ll drink a gallon of it.  Sweet tea is like delicious, delicious crack to us.  Most people don’t need to drink sports drinks, just professional athletes, but we do have an addiction to blue Gatorade. We have to resist the urge.  This is great practice for using self control in other areas of life too.