Girl with the broken soul

What is currently hurting in my body? My right knee and left arm have been aching since I started myfembree last Monday. Being chronically ill is tiring. I am tired of saying im in pain, I am exhausted. I just want to be normal!!!

Suffering with a disease that isn't studied like it should be is so devastating. Endo destroys your life, your whole being gets stolen you become a prisoner of your own body. The whole time being told is just "period pain" being gaslit by medical professionals. Yet it has been found in the brain, chest cavities, and all our organs!

Another life update. So my health had been declining as of the past three years. I was having horrible GI issues, migraines, complete overall muscle pains and had no idea what it could be. Turns out it was endometriosis!!!!!

When I sit back and look at my life up until now I see just how much crap ive been thru. The neglected childhood I had, the abuse I experienced along with the domestic violence I lived with my mom and her boyfriend. And I think to myself I don't want these event to define the rest of my life and run my life. I get so angry so quick and I feel bad after I come down because it's always something small. time for me is a huge thing I cannot stand being late to anything. I don't know if it's the trauma of my childhood or if it's just something I picked up. I try to analyze things and it just never makes sense as to why my anger kicks up so quick. But then again my mother was quick to anger and beat us. But when I ask her about it now she just makes up some lame as excuse as to why beating us was necessary it probably came from her mother beating her and her siblings but still not a valid reason to do what she's done. She sent me away once idk even know what the reason was for that but I spent a summer in Arizona with my cousin and it must not have been a fun one because I can't remember anything except eating tacos and buying a pair of shoes two sizes two big with money my estranged dad gave me. life has a funny way of showing you how to survive. Because even with one parent I still felt like I had non. I was the eldest so I was a second mom to my sibling I cooked cleaned and watched over her while my mother worked. I love my younger sibling I just wish I could've done better by her. But no use in living in the past we just have to keep moving forward and do our best to survive and recover from all the crap we've lived thru. Life is anything but easy but we have to keep going forward and find things that helps us heal whether its thru a craft or anything we have to find an outlet not for anyone else but for ourselves. I hope you all heal from the things you don't talk about <3

Sitting during my lunch with 3 minutes left blogging thinking of how I miss his arms and how safe he makes me feel. How I want to be wrapped in them tight. Clock out at 3:30 in his arms by 3:45….

Currently sitting in a room alone in another country healing from plastic surgery and somedays its peaceful other its loud and I mean that in my head. Some days I wake up and feel like im winning in life while other days I wake up and just feel like giving up. Its hard to find `purpose in this world when my head is so full of sadness and let downs.