Forget me not

It didn’t dawn on the Bennett witch that Allison may not know who she was. Allison had been dead for a longer period of time than Bonnie was. Her memories of her time on the other side may have faded away when she was brought to this realm. Bonnie was just so excited to see her again. It was a relationship she didn’t think she would cherish but she did. Allison’s confession was just another realization to Bonnie that there was still a lot she had to learn when it came to the Supernatural world. “No, don’t apologize.” she offered the girl a friendly smile. This was probably all so confusing and new to the dead girl…or would she actually be considered somewhat alive? “We did meet before. Not too long ago…” Bonnie chose her words carefully. “And not while you were living either.”

Allison’s brows furrowed deeply as the woman’s words started to circulate and actually resonate with her. Well resonate was a hard word to use because if anything they felt far from it. “I’m sorry-” Allison spoke, her expression blank, clear confusion expressed across her features. “Not while I was-” She repeated but shook her head lightly with a deep frown now formed on her lips. The little colour that was left in her face in this place had drained, living her as white as the ghost she really was. “You know me from-” She cut herself off, trying to find the right words. ‘The other side’, didn’t seem right to her; especially as she’d never believed in any of it. “The grey- that place.. you were there? So you were-... dead too?”

Hayley recognized the haunted look in the girl’s eyes easily—it was the same one in her own eyes since she lost Hope. She watched her curiously, asking her if she was alright tentatively and getting no reply. She didn’t dare touch her, the hybrid knew what kind of mood she’d get in if anyone dared do it to her. “I asked if you were okay. You seem out of it.” 

As her eyes focused on the brunette, it took a moment for the words to finally register in her head. “Fine..yeh i’m- i’m okay.” Allison uttered, giving a small nod as if it could some how give meaning to the words that felt so frivolous falling from her pale lips. “Just- day dreaming I guess.” The female said finally with a forced half smile. Well i wasn’t far from the truth. “Sorry did you need something, i’m in the way-” 

Since trying to find a way out of his own personal hell and failing for over a month, Damon had pretty much given up. So, instead, he took to his usual tasks which were drinking and observing his surroundings. Bourbon in hand, he sat in his usual seat at the grill and listened to the people around him. It wasn’t exactly a surprise that none of them were of use. He rose an eyebrow when someone next to him spoke, asking if he had said something. He chuckled and rose an eyebrow, “That’s the first sign that you’re going crazy. Hearing things.” He was teasing - mostly.

It might be a little too late for that. But instead of the retort, the brunette just offered a small smile. “Sorry- it’s been a long day.” Allison side passed and dismissed with a small shake of her head. Turning her attention back to the diet coke in her hand, taking a sip as if it would some how calm her nerves. “Sounds like you have experience. Besides, isn’t everyone here a little bit crazy? It’s hard not to be stuck here.”

Character Moodboard || Allison Argent || General

Mama take this badge from me, I can’t use it anymore. It’s getting dark too dark to see, I feel I’m knockin’ on heaven’s door. || PWR TASK 1

Allison’s responses were so abrupt. Isaac was rethinking if it was a good idea to even ask her. Maybe it was better to pretend nothing had happened to her. When his world was becoming a known thing around town. All he wanted was for people to shut up. He didn’t want to be asked fifty times if he was okay, or that they were sorry. Every kind gesture was an insult to him. It didn’t matter because the few people who were starting to learn the truth about who he was, questioned him when his father turned up dead. Allison’s words were an answering machine response. No one use those words unless they were falling apart at the seems. Though he wouldn’t press her about it. Isaac listened closely to her admission. He wished he could understand what she meant, but more importantly he wished she had lived. Isaac constantly wished he could turn back time and change what had happened. Isaac rested his hand over top of hers, pressing small circles into her skin. “I won’t leave you, I promise. I suck at this but you know if there is anything I can do, tell me. But I’m sorry for all of it. I wish I can just do something for you.” Isaac couldn’t seem to put it into words what he wanted to convey. He felt like anything he said would bother Allison because it wasn’t the right thing to say. As much as he would have loved to be prolific with words. Just so he could say the right thing to take away her pain.

“Yeah, I know! That’s what I thought, but I don’t know she could’ve been pulling my leg.” The banter between Lydia and Isaac had been the highlight of their reunion. No matter what was happening, the two seemed to fall into this playful sarcasm that made everything a tad bit better. It really made Isaac feel like he could be part of the pack again. If Isaac ever did join, again, it was nice to know he would have a friend. Isaac’s smile is pinched, “Listen it’s just-” Isaac realized he couldn’t begin to explain how he truly felt. It tied in with how guilty he felt about her death. Everything was too connected but yet scrambled in his head. Isaac wasn’t ready to tell her how he felt. “-It’s just better than saying I’ve been fine, ya know? We can talk about it another time.” Isaac tried to be honest without divulging too much. Isaac nodded his head, “Yeah most of the time. He went back to Beacon Hills a lot of the time because Scott needed him for something. But him and I traveled to France, for a bit Spain. Though we got a place in France, wished it was England or an English speaking country but I can’t complain. Your dad is good though. He’s a lot better and he’s a good guy.” Isaac understood the silence issue. He hated the silence because it led to ruminating thoughts which led to terrible trips down memory lane. Despite him needing to be alone. He wanted to control his shift so he can be around people more. “That’s not bad. You can hang out with people and never be far from home. If you hate the quietness, I know Scott’s pack is taking up residence in an apartment building. My home is always open too if you ever want it or need it.”

She regretted the words almost as instantly as they had fallen from her lips. The last thing she should be doing was burdening him with more of her problems, they’d barely spent an hour together and here she was falling apart at the seams. Admitting things she’d dared not speak aloud for so long and here she was unraveling. It wasn’t fair to him. Allison found herself closing her eyes tightly as she tried to block out the ache, to numb it and pretend it wasn’t there for now. Pretending for a little while atleast was easier than facing the reality. Besides she’d never exactly been good with burdening her worries and fears on other people. She’d let it slip, for a second. “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have-” She uttered her gaze down cast away from him. Pull yourself together Allison. “I’m okay.. i’m fine, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have-” Her words trailed off as she straightened a small shaky sigh falling from her lips. It felt like she had been alone for- god knows how long in a place like this. The simple words of ‘I won’t leave’ was enough to ease her nerves. “I think you’re better at it than you think.” Allison assured with a small half smile pulling at her features. “You don’t have to do anything. Just- just stay. That’s enough.”

“She’d been good at something like that.” She mused quietly at the idea of her friend in such a place. Lydia had a sense of authority to her, a way with people that Allison had always admired, not to mention her high levels of intellect. Even if it wasn’t true, the idea made Allison smile. Of all people, the brunette knew how difficult it could be to share emotions. Putting up a strong front, a barrier was often easier than attempting defeat. The last thing she wanted to do was put him in a more uncomfortable position than he probably felt right now so simply gave a single nod. Taking a note to check in with how he was doing, it couldn’t be easy. Not for any of them. “He helped them? Even after-” She found her words trailing off as she just sat and listened to him, a sense of calm falling over her at the idea of them both being in France and together. They hadn’t be alone, which was the most she could have ever asked for. The assurance that her dad was okay and that Isaac himself had been okay was relieving. “Thank you..for- thank you.” Was all she could find herself saying as she looked back up at the male next to her, squeezing his hand lightly as a soft - all be it a bit sad - smile played at her lips. Having to push the idea of her being with them in France out of her head space, it was a nice fantasy. But that’s all it was, a fantasy. “So.. France? I guess I should teach you some French before you go back so you actually know what is going on around you. Or have you got someone already teaching you?” Allison wasn’t surprised to hear that the pack had found a place staying close together, for one it was a survival instinct. In a place that was so unfamiliar, there was strength and assurance in numbers. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea right now. They’re need time before anything else. And thank you, mine is too. Why aren’t you living close to them?”

Bonnie didn’t talk much about her time being dead. Only Jeremy and Matt knew about everything at the time. It was hard to be so alone even if she had her boyfriend and best guy friend. it just wasn’t the same. That was until she met Allison. Allison had been on the Other Side for a while by the time Bonnie got there. They talked about a lot of things during their short time together. For Bonnie, it was a sense of comfort knowing someone was in a similar boat as her. She had hoped to see Allison again at some point but when she turned human and became the Anchor, Bonnie never saw the hunter again. Until now in this world. “I was asking if it was really you, Allison. I didn’t think we would ever bump into each other again.” Bonnie walked closer to Allison. “It’s just really good to see you again. Even though the circumstances aren’t…well…ideal.” 

“I’m sorry I think you have the wrong-” Allison. The huntress was about to dismiss it, thinking the other must have just mistaken her for someone else; a girl of a similar stature. Her mind went back trying to place her face among her memories, but came up blank. There was nothing, not even a name to hold onto as she looked over at the other. Her memory had always been good, exact. It was rare that she forgot a face or a name, so why couldn’t she place her? Allison put it down to this place, she’d been more on edge recently than well- than she’d ever been back in Beacon Hills. Perhaps her memory had betrayed her in a different way this time. She might not know who she was, but there was a familiar sense about her, one that sent a small shiver up her spine. “I’m sorry- I don’t..Have we met before?”

As she spoke, he felt the cracks in him spreading, breaking him open wider and forcing him to face once again the things that were hardest. The days and weeks after she was gone, feeling her ghost in the halls of the old high school, in the streets of their town. Times when he was sure he could hear her laugh somewhere in the middle of a crowd, or when her whispered words would spark in his ear during a long silence. He’d been unable to escape her, and even though he’d lived on, a part of him would always stay with her. It was what he knew, but he’d never thought he’d be able to tell her and know she could hear him. Scott pried a hand away from his leg, reaching over to her lap to grasp at her fingers, clumsy at first until he got a good grip and slotted his hand around hers.

“Allison, you have to know that I’ve never stopped loving you,” he said quietly, eyes finally flickering back up to hers, completely ignoring her attempts to free him from any obligation – because there wasn’t any. The veins and bones of his hand became more obvious as he squeezed her hand, thumb running along her wrist. A short exhale through his noise, he managed to hold his voice even though his resolve was flickering. “I didn’t get to say it, but – somehow I hoped that you just knew. That when you –” Died. “You knew.”

His hands felt so warm and familiar in hers it left a small ache in her chest.  He’d been her first love, the first person that she had ever loved. Their romance had been quite literally and painfully rendition of romeo and juliet. They had never had it easy. Despite everything? She’d loved him. She loved him more than anything. Despite disappointing parents and the danger that came with being together- it was worth the risk. He was worth the risk. Because it was Scott. It was as simple as that. How could it not be? Even when they broke up, Allison hadn’t broken up with him because she stopped caring about him; because that wouldn’t stop, not really. Unfortunately for them it had just been too complicated. After the death of her mother everything had changed, it left a hole in her heart. A hole that still left a loneliness with her even now. She’d gotten so used to being alone, especially here, that the comfort of having a friend, of having Scott so close again had a small all be it a bit sad smile tugging on the edge of her lips.

“I knew.” She murmured softly with a small nod, her fingers lacing with his and squeezing his hand back gently. Her eyes focused on their hands with their digits intertwined, familiar and warm. Pulling her eyes up to look over his features, a face she’d spent hours memorizing once upon a time. Even eyes she still caught glimpses of when she could. “I knew because I never stopped loving you either, I think a part of me always will Scott.” Allison spoke softly, her voice quiet as she gave a small nod of her head, moving to rest her head lightly on his shoulder. “I knew.”

Jeremy almost felt like this chick had been in his, he felt the same way she did it seemed. Nothing seemed more painful than having to face hard emotions with people who knew you to the core. At least strangers were impartial, they could just listen and not compete with who misses who more. He pauses looking her over, he knew she wasn’t from the town odds were maybe she had no idea who he knew. “Everyone, my sister, myself?” He shrugs knowing that sounds stupid. “I don’t who ended up here or didn’t and if they didn’t odds are they are dead so I guess I feel like its better not to know. I’m pretty sure my girlfriend died seconds before people popped up here, I was running. On my way to her and everything went dark.” He goes silent before he clears his throat, “What about you? Who are you hiding from?”

Everyone. That felt familiar. With every day that came now in this place, it felt like she was meeting one after the other of people from her past life. Each one bringing it’s own set of anxieties and a sense of painful reality with it. One that was becoming a little too much for her. Because the one word that really struck home was ‘myself’. If she could disappear into a world where she was even half the person she had been back in Beacon Hills, she would take it. Here she just felt- well broken. But didn’t that come with the status? Allison sat quietly just watching and listening to him talk before she spoke finally: “Her hands..your girlfriend see if she has cold hands. That’s how I’ve been telling everyone apart. My friends hands- they’re all warm. They’re all still warm. Just see if her hands are cold. You can be here and still have died. If they didn’t come through they can still be alive in a place that isn’t this. Just because they’re not here- doesn’t mean they aren’t okay somewhere else.” Allison assured, hoping her words could offer him some kind of comfort. “Everyone. My friends. My ex boyfriend, well I guess I should say two ex’s now, my best friend-.. I shouldn’t be hiding from them. But what are you supposed to say when-” Allison cut herself off with a frown edged onto the corners of her features as she simply sighed averting her eyes to the bottle in her hand. Fingers running over the glass as she sat contemplating before speaking a little quieter: “I just haven’t seen them in a very long time. They look at me and all I can see written on their faces is everything that happened- everything that went wrong. I thought- I don’t know what I thought anymore.”

Alison’s return had left a lot of doors open for Isaac. It became everything from mortality, where this place is, and what the future held. A lot of it was too much for him to handle. Though he was going to forge on, burying the thoughts until he could piece them together into something manageable. Which ultimately Isaac couldn’t do. It was like an itch, the minute he could succumb to it. The itch would grow and spread till his body was covered in the insatiable itch. Till it consumed his every waking moment with no respite. If there was some, a momentary lapse of peace, it wouldn’t last long. It wasn’t healthy and he truly needed therapy. Isaac needed to release the thoughts into the air, and just say them. Even if saying them out loud would make it real for him. His heart went out to Alison, if she even knew it or not. Isaac couldn’t bear the thought of her death for a few years. He didn’t know how she could handle the idea of her own death. It wasn’t a place for anyone to think about until now. “I-uh-wow,” His eyes went wide, blinking to come up with words. “I can’t even imagine what that’s like. Uhm…How are you feeling about all of that?” He motioned. Isaac was teetering on saying sorry or avoiding it all together. But he couldn’t do that when it was something crucial to Alison.

Isaac wasn’t sure what he said but she looked distraught. He could only base her off of his own feelings. With years in between, he had to get reacquainted to who Alison was or is. He had to rediscover who she was in order to see what she meant to him. He grasped his jeans stopping himself from reaching out. He held back being careful not to trigger her further. “Yeah, yeah Lydia is fine. More than okay she’s doing pretty well for herself.” He admitted. “I think she’s doing something with the town like a mayor or something. I’m not sure because I don’t keep close tabs on them. But I see her around town a lot.” Isaac nodded his head. “Yeah never better,” He smiled. “I’ve been here for a month or so. It hasn’t been too bad. I was with your dad before I ended up here. So I’m just hoping he didn’t think I ran off, or he realizes something is up and is going to figure it out. But other than that I’ve been good. I found a house right outside of town. It’s pretty big and whatnot. What about yourself? Where have you been staying?”

The question made an almost slightly exasperated small laugh fall from her lips. She shouldn’t have a feeling about the whole situation because it shouldn’t be happening. None of this should be happening and the more that Allison thought about it, the more frustrated she seemed to find herself becoming. “How I feel about being dead you mean?” The huntress asked as she turned her head to look over him. To her, her death had only been a few weeks ago, atleast that’s what it felt like. Perhaps it was because it had been longer than that, or for the fact that he’d seen her die, but he felt further away from her even though he was sat so close. “I’m okay..I’m fine.” Words she had spoken so many times they didn’t have a meaning anymore, hell even Allison herself wasn’t convinced by the tone. Maybe because even if he did feel a little distant from her now, it didn’t change the fact that he was one of the closest people to her - well before she’d died -. He’d known what she was thinking more than most, he’d deserved better; he always had. Allison was a good liar, but right now with the first familiar face she’s seen since that night and the fact that it was Isaac? She wanted to be honest, despite her slightly clenched jaw and defeated expression. Perhaps it was Isaac, or perhaps it was because she was tired of feeling so alone. No doubt it was a combination of both. But it was the first time Allison was admitting any of this out loud, her voice was quiet and a little shaky as she uttered “Every morning I wake up it feels like I can’t breathe. I gasp for air because-.. I don’t sleep. I can’t sleep because everytime I close my eyes it’s just- happening all over again. And I can’t.” Cutting herself off, she averted her eyes to her hands which were clasped tightly together in her lap. “I gasp because I’m trying to fill my lungs with so much air it hurts. I know this town is on some kinda of loop, I thought I was here because I was-.. now? You’re here. And I don’t know- I don’t know anything. And I can’t breathe-.. it feels like I’m just waiting to disappear again. To just-” Be forgotten.

“Lydia is- what?” Allison asked a little baffled as he looked over the male who had once been so familiar to her. The idea seemed a little off, but Allison had no doubt’s about Lydia’s intellect, if she was working for something to do with the town then it could only be a good thing. “Never better? We’re trapped in a place that is on a loop and you’re never better?” Allison repeated a little bewildered. She didn’t believe him but her thoughts were quickly sidetracked as he mentioned her father. “You- You were with my dad?” She shouldn’t have been as surprised. Obviously with how close the two had gotten before Allison’s passing, Chris had probably spent the most time with Isaac from the rest of the pack. It made sense. And with how much family they’d lost and then he’d lost Allison- he needed someone. Knowing Isaac had been with her dad was actually a relief, that had her sighing her shoulders relaxing just a little. “There was an empty apartment when I got here, it’s small but I like it. Anything bigger- it was just too quiet.” Like it had done after the ice baths, the quiet was one of the things Allison now dreaded. It allowed her mind to wonder to a darker place that one dare not venture. A place where it was safer to stay away from. Where most people found peace in solitude, it caused Allison pain. Her apartment was quaint, but it worked for her. There were less places for ghosts to wonder; she simply felt safer. A rarity to come by now. “It’s in town, near one of the bars, so it never gets too quiet. It’s nice.”

Lydia nodded along with Allison’s description, even if she knew she’d never FULLY understand. Not even an intellect as advanced and vast as her own would understand something as complex as death itself - not without experiencing it first hand. And despite the fact that Allison had come back to them, she wasn’t itching to test it out for herself. She didn’t need to be intimately acquainted with death to understand what Allison was going through. After all, it wasn’t that long ago that Lydia herself had been a PRISONER in a shadowy world with no exit. Trapped within her own mind at Eichen, cursed with the knowledge of what was happening to her without any ability to stop it. It was TERRIBLE; not knowing how or when it would end, or if this was going to be a permanent state. She might not be able to literally understand what Allison was describing, but she hoped the look on her face told her best friend that she could relate.

But there would be time to talk about that later. Right now, she had to answer the HARDESTquestion in the world.

“… About a YEAR.” Lydia finally spat out after a long pause, eyes carefully studying Allison’s face for a reaction. She could’ve given specifics, right down to the hours and minutes, if they were home. But being in the Prison World had robbed her of that certainty of time - and maybe that, in and of itself, was a blessing. There was no use in TORTURING poor Allison with the reality of her own demise, giving all that detail would just overwhelm her. Then again … there was a reason Allison was asking her and not Scott. Scott would’ve sugar coated it, waved off the question and given some line about how all that mattered was what she was back now. Which was true, Lydia couldn’t deny that. Nothing was more important than the fact that her best friend was back. But Lydia also felt like Allison deserved to know the WHOLE truth, not just the highlights. It was her story, after all - who was Lydia to keep the details of it from her?

“We were halfway through senior year when we got here.” she elaborated, sliding a hand over to rest comfortingly on Allison’s knee. She didn’t know how much to dump on her, or how quickly. So she decided to just start from the beginning, wait for Allison to slow her down or tell her to stop. “… We lost Aiden right after you. And Isaac and Ethan left town when you died. Malia stuck around, even dated Stiles for a bit.” she explained unemotionally, even as a flash of visibleJEALOUSY raced across her features. “A bunch of people have come and go, but …” she paused, turning to face her friend fully on the bed and taking both of her hands. “But NO ONEreplaced you. Never could.”

A year. She'd been gone a whole year? To Allison it had been weeks, only weeks not even a full month. And here Lydia was saying she'd been gone a whole year? It left Allison feeling sick to her stomach. She knew she'd died, she'd come to terms with that even when she was taking her last breath it had been okay. It was okay because she'd saved her friends, her pack, her family. She'd died saving them. What she hadn't been prepared for was the after. There was no telling she would ever get an after let alone an after of them all. She put on a brave face at the party because she knew it would be worse for the three. They'd lived with her passing, with the grief for a year and for her to suddenly be back? Grief could be a kind of death within itself.

Allison had found it difficult touching people, let alone the ones she'd left behind in her death. Paranoia and insomnia edging into every crack of her being and no wonder. If she'd been lost in that grey fog of death for over 11 months no wonder every fiber of her being felt like it was betraying her. She was alive, but it felt like she was crumbling. Drowning even. Drowning in a reality that wasn't hers, in a place that wasn't familiar, friends who were once ghosts from her past now here and undoubtedly changed. But hadn't she? 

"A year-? I-” Allison uttered her chest tightening, the little breath she was able to hold had left her and she slumped painfully; hollow. Weeks. She had thought it had been weeks. God a year? A shaky breath fell from her lips, one of her hands moving from Lydia's to clamp over her mouth, fingers trembling uncontrollably; hell it sent a whole shiver down her spine. The reality was chilling. Her other clamped tightly onto her best friend’s hand as if holding onto her tightly would ease the reality, could some have stop them from slipping away from each other again. She wasn’t worried about being replaced, well- maybe a part of her was. What she was more worried about, was being forgotten. She wanted the pack to get over her death, to move on and be happy; being replaced she could deal with. Forgotten as if just a glimpse or memory? Well.. that’s what she was now wasn’t it? A fragment, a walking ghost, a broken arrow. 

“I can’t breathe-” She murmured her eyes shut tightly as she tried but failed to swallow the lump in her throat. Her hand lowering as she forced herself to try and take in even breaths, block out her pain until she atleast had all the information. How long it would last she wasn’t sure, but she managed: “What else? What else Lydia? What happened after? Stiles- he’s okay isn’t he? Everyone was okay? My dad- what about my dad?”

Jeremy usually knew better than to judge a book by its cover, with the amount of vampires he’s come across in the short time he’s learned of them but at the same time he had the ability to tell when a vampire was near him and since he wasn’t enraged by the very sight of her it was safe to say at least she wasn’t sucking down blood. He shows his hands, “Just offering fair warning.” He replies meaning no offense. He takes in a deep breath thinking about what she said and he grabs a pillow from the pile behind him and tosses it near her, “Have a seat. I get the wanting company from people you don’t know. Its somehow easier to deal with.”

A small smile tugged onto the corners of her features as he threw a pillow in her direction."It's definitely easier. Less-" Allison cut herself off with a small shake of her head as she averted her eyes down to the floor shifting as she moved to sit down. "Less painful." The huntress finished, a pained look on her face despite how well she tried to mask it. It was probably the understatement of the century, agonizing was probably the more accurate term. Agonizing to point it left her breathless. "Should I ask who you're hiding from? Or is that a conversation better left unspoken of?" Allison asked as she settled down on the cushion before unscrewing the cap of it and taking a small sip.