barely surviving

Because they're affecting my transit hours now, too. Dear lordy. Anyways I was thinking about the Zeno & Jake bro friendship and—

Grace being invited to the family dinner that's become a Thing now and she sees Zeno and Jake in the same room together.

Grace, nervous: O-Oh, you look so much alike! Are you relatives?

Jake, comfortable in his knowledge that Wesker definitely didn't manage to pop out another child: Heh, I don't think so.

Zeno, comfortable in his knowledge that he's the only surviving Wesker clone from the project: It's exceedingly unlikely. The DNA I was created from was very limited.

Jake: Wait, what? What kind of sci-fi bullshit is that? You were made? Like, you're a clone of somebody else?

Zeno: Correct. Did I not mention it before? My apologies.

(Jake channels the brain cell for 0.5 seconds)

Jake: A clone of who?

Zeno: I doubt you'd know him. He was a famous bioterrorist who infected himself with his own virus.

Jake: did he also wear fuckass sunglasses and have a god complex.

Zeno, pleased that he doesn't have to explain: Oh, so you do know Albert Wesker.

Jake, internally screaming: So, don't take this personally, but I need to ditch you and go find Leon.

Zeno: My handler ought to be in the kitchen with Ms Birkin... why?

Jake: Gonna punch him.

Zeno: Wh-

Jake, sincerely putting a hand on his shoulder: Do not stop me.

Grace, the innocent catalyst: ??? Is he m-mad at me??? Wuh-Was it something I said???

Leon, in the middle of cooking dinner with Sherry: Weird, I got this bad feeling that usually comes before a boss fight.

Leon Kennedy: Younger Leon for sure. Older Leon might do it but only to see if he can still move how he used to.

Chris Redfield: Definitely. All phases. He gets infinite entertainment out of it.

Carlos Oliveira: Absolutely and if you ask him, he'll say "who doesn't?"

Luis Serra: He does and he says he's good at it and shows off his 'talent' to his partners.

Ethan Winters: he tried to once and gave himself testicular torsion. He almost lost a ball that night.

Jake Muller: he did it once and decided that was enough for him

Billy Coen: Nope, he doesn't want to risk anything doing it.

Karl Heisenberg: he did it once and lost balance and nicked his foreskin on some metal nearby

Victor Gideon: he did it once and his dick fell off and he had to stitch it back on so now he has a scar that makes it look like he has a frankenpenis

Jack Krauser: he does it every morning after his shower

Albert Wesker: he claims it's beneath him and that he would never do something so uncivilized but he absolutely does it in private. After he turned into a superhuman, he was able to actually catch air while doing it and floated off the ground for about two seconds.

Zeno: He won't admit it but he does and he's relatively good at it.

William Birkin: that would imply that he has enough penis to twirl around but he did try it before and he hurt his nuts in the process.

i HATE self-censorship for a lot of reasons, but being in crisis work makes it even more frustrating. who are you censoring for? like i am being so fr, WHO are you censoring for? have you even thought it through? people who have been raped know that they have been raped. if someone attempts suicide or is grieving someone who did, saying "sewer slide" isn't going to protect them from any of the feelings. a murder victim's family isn't going to feel better bc you said "unalived" instead of murdered. if anything, it's just extremely invalidating and othering. it's saying "what happened to you is so bad that i won't even say the word," which is NOT trauma-informed care. you are not protecting survivors/victims when you self-censor. the ONLY things you protect when you self-censor are the puritanical ideologies that are being encouraged by rich fascists who want your money and obedience

YES YES YES YESSSSSS

let him grow out his hair!! Let it be curly and messy and show his growth as a person!!!

I love Jake with longer hair I love how quickly and easily him growing his hair out would show how he grew as a person after the events of re6. From a mercenary who is all cold practicality with everything from payment for his services to how he maintains his hair/clothes. To a man who has someone in his life that he loves and cares for more than money. How he has someone to live for, a cause to fight for. He doesn't have to keep his hair that short anymore! He can afford to indulge in the small things in life, like Sherry playing with or braiding his hair. He has the time to properly maintain his curly hair with the correct products.

God I just have a lot of feelings and because it's me I automatically made this a Shake concept because I think Sherry would absolutely love Jake growing his hair out. Partially because it looks so good and partially because I think she would realize that this is part of his way of embracing the stability he now has in his life. The stability that she had the major role in providing for him. Of course he would never say that out loud, but she still knows because she knows him.

On a sillier note, I think Piers (because he lives on in my head and has an antagonistic but silently respectful relationship with Jake) would 100% call Jake Merida the first time he sees him with hair past his ears lol. Chris overhears this and has to break up the wrestling match that ensues from Jake calling Piers a temu Nick fury. However, that mental image sticks with him and has Chris waking up in a cold sweat from a dream where Jake was riding the horse from Brave, hair much longer and flowing in the breeze, as he tells Wesker how he wants to choose his own fate.

Some resident evil doodles because my husband is getting into the fandom.