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this is the funniest shit i’ve ever i’m losing my mind

is that a vaporeon

This all happened at Lush.

hey does anyone know the fastest way to clean up milk that’s covering every goddamn i nch of the  kitchen floor

i know a gal……she’s on her way

thanks

Hi molbo, can you leave?

Yeah you look good but ya soul dont

I’m deleting

Seriously, double and triple check that you’re registered. Lots of people have been getting booted off voter registries.

PERCHED💅🏼

We should all be in fear of anyone strong enough to balance and literally support their entire mass in that pose on tiptoes.

She ain’t even wearing a decent heel support like the lady behind her. No, this queen is wearing goddamn stilettos. You know how hard it is to walk in stilettos, let alone balance your weight on one foot? And she’s doing more than that, she’s literally resting all her weight on that foot. This is insane, she could kick all of our asses.

Weiss Schnee, pictured here waiting for a board meeting to start

Like… we warned them. Business people warned them. You spread the market too thin, the public will find an alternative. When everything was on one or two streaming sites, it was good. But now that everybody wants in on the streaming cash cow, ain’t no cash in it because everyone’s saying “you know where I can get all these shows without paying twelve different subscription fees? Putlocker”

I was high off my ass last night and had this dream where I was in this dense ass forest and sitting there was a tall woman. She was so tall I couldn’t see her face but she was wearing gold and I was like “uh...hi?” And she said “I made you, do you know that?” And I nodded and she was like “I hear your thoughts. Why do you hate my creation? Why do you try to destroy yourself? I made you perfect as you are. Please don’t break my heart”. Then she started crying and it flooded and I woke up with fucking heart palpitations like what does it Mean™️????

this is like when a scene cuts away just before the murderer plunges his knife into his victim

im takin back the word friendzone it mean at ya homie house!!!!