Bridgey Baby

While I agree that they have sizzling chemistry on-screen, in interviews they seemed very friendly but not actually attracted to one-another IMO

See a few more examples below:

Notice how he is appropriate with hand-placement? How they're leaving room for Jesus?

And when shipping picked up, they made definitive statements like this:

Belmont took his beautiful girlfriend, Raina Morris, who by the way is a talented force in her own right as a TV writer with a career of her own to the red carpet and wasn't shy about claiming her loudly and publicly.

https://people.com/belmont-cameli-girlfriend-off-campus-fans-stop-messaging-family-12019833

Belmont's girlfriend Raina just asked fans to stop contacting her family and confirmed the relationship. She has posted him publicly to her Instagram and they have posed in ways that make it clear they are an item and he is interested in her.

No room for Jesus? Check. Boyfriend hold? Check. Not looking like he's being held hostage? Also check.

Here she is, on the man's Instagram.

There are no close-up photos of spoons or forks or pasta. There's no ambiguity. Ella made it clear it isn't going to happen and she doesn't see him that way. And, by the way, she managed to do so without launching a fake PR relationship.

Would any of us be there if the Bridgerton Press tour had been handled like this? If our faves had behaved this way? Instead they had a press tour where they left no room for Jesus, held hands, were grabbing each other's sensitive areas when the cameras were off, were loudly posting each other, Nicola chose to narrate a book about co-stars getting together on a romance set, Luke chose to say he'd create a Nicola Coughlan fan thirst trap page, and they chose not to provide any clarification in some cases, for months or years.

And they still seem to need to use AI on a lot of posts in order to make it... believable? To some? There's always something askew, whether it be half-cars in the background of a photo, leaving room, not actually kissing, weird long stripes of either poorly edited photos or maybe some mystery object hanging down? And there continues to be coordination on social media between Nic and Luke a couple of years down the line.

Neither of them (Nic and Luke) took multiple years to tag each other. Nic has a history of pretending in relationships (see Laurie for this one).

What I can acknowledge is at this point they want the fans to buy these relationships. They want people to believe them and are putting some effort in to get people to do so. There are lots of fans out there who judge the actor/ actress' choice in partner and may not like them. I even fall into this camp at times when people have public relationships where the behavior is borderline abusive (looking at you Justin/ Hailey). However, I am mostly of the live and let live/ if the couple seems genuinely happy and they make each other happy/ don't take away from each other, it is what it is.

For example, I think that Keanu and Sandra would be adorable and they've both discussed having crushes on the other, but he seems to be happy with his current partner. Do I think she's what I'd imagine for him? No, but ultimately it's his choice and he seems to have made it.

What bothers me most in this situation is that in most cases, actors are so professional during press, especially for romance shows, because they know the shipping is inevitable. That is not what has happened here at any public appearance between Nic and Luke. Then Nicola, specifically, decides to turn on her fans when they won't buy the same lies she's been feeding them.

Ultimately, we're not owed anyone's personal business (and I say this as a professional nosey person), but celebrities also need to take accountability for their actions and choices. They know that right now, to get written about by the gossip rags, you need to be in a public relationship. So they get into pr contracts, and put forward fake relationships because they both want privacy and want the fans' investment and to get written about in the press in between projects.

Did you ever notice, for example, how Luke's Antonia moments always come right before or during promo? It seems likely a project announcement is coming, and we get this dump earlier this week. Last year, we got a couple of outings prior to the HOM announcement. That's his pattern. It's not a natural pattern of posting someone in his ample downtime. Similarly, Nic and Jake tend to start popping up more when there is an event that he'd like to glom on and network at. To me, the real relationships (with a side of PR) are the ones where you get authentic content in between promo, and not when things seem to ramp up only when one has something coming up to promote.

Now, what do I believe? For all the reasons on this blog, including the timing, the continued lack of believability, the blind items, etc, I still believe it's PR. However, the reason that there's likely to be many of us who feel this way is for all the aforementioned reasons.

I have never been for harassing the adjacents or people involved. I have made it clear early and often that contacting their family and friends, posting nasty troll edits of them, or really interacting with them in any way is not acceptable behavior. However, they rage bait us because we are primarily the people who pay attention to them. If people in the fandom just stopped clicking, would these people sail off into the sunset? More than likely, I believe they would. And that's why we're stuck in this vicious cycle.

I've watched a lot of "realists" over the last couple of years make claims about why L/N have mirrored each other so similarly and say things like, "they don't owe us anything," and, "they want privacy." While I can, in theory, agree with some of the above, I tend to think most are missing the mark on why L/N have been moving the way they do. And I think that just because some shippers right now are the "favored children," (at least in their own minds), that doesn't mean that it won't change in the future (and frankly, hasn't begun to change already).

Part of what fascinates me about all of this is the idea that two grown adults in separate relationships would have any need to coordinate and mirror in the way that these two have. Typically, if it were true, they'd be meeting people who weren't so similar, following completely different timelines. Meeting two little-known 20-somethings and then backdating their social medias to reflect being with these people an incredibly similar length of time, followed by identical pap shots (by the same guy no less), then mirroring things with how they roll them out at events and how things go on sm is too many coincidences for adults in two separate relationships, imo. Even if they were in relationships with these folks, each one would move naturally at its own pace.

I actually respect celebrities who want privacy in their relationships. I used to, years ago, think it was a form of gatekeeping, but I actually see the wisdom in it at this point, especially after all I've witnessed the last couple years. However, that's far from what's happened here. Regardless of where you sit on this issue and the issues of these other indiividuals, privacy is not something either of these folks have even attempted to achieve. True privacy in a celebrity relationship is not carting these people around to events, doing red carpet photos, promoting their projects and family members' businesses. True privacy is not these alleged relationships always trying to imply (or outright post) proximity to the famous person in question.

The thing that continues to be so odd to me is the idea that these folks would be in 2+ year relationships and anyone would need to imply atp. At a certain point, if you're in a relationship, that becomes a fact and a backdrop and not the main source of your social engagement. Most of JD's stan pages are about his relationship. They do, of course, post when he has projects, but most of what they gush over, make edits over, and speculate over is his alleged relationship. He knows what gets people to tune in. The amount of times I've seen a Jakola go to one of his plays and write a review akin to, "The play was good. Jake was good. He looked hot." There is no stanning there. It would be like my going to see The Devil Wears Prada 2 this past weekend and making it about how hot everyone looked. Yes, btw, they all looked hot (shout-out to Simone on this one who looks fire at all times), but what was really jaw-dropping was the script, the dynamic between the characters, the incredible fashion and locations, the cameos, etc.

A, for her part, posts mostly vanity shoots ( I call them this because they exist to build her portfolio and aren't derived from actual paid work), the occasional dance video and mostly exists to post about her "relationship" with L. Why? Because she knows that when she shares her gift for twerking with the world or graces us with yet another HB-inspired photo shoot, wardrobe malfunctions included, that nobody pays any attention. These posts get minimal engagement, mostly by friends, family, and a few sycophants, but the reality is it seems more and more likely girl is running her own fan page. She hasn't even been able to get people on a large scale to ship her "relationship" the way they do with N and JD, because unlike them, she and L aren't convincing when around each other that they actually like each other or really get along on any level.

Now back to the arguments that they want privacy and don't owe us anything. If either of them functioned like others from the cast, for example Hannah, or JB, or even Simone to a large extent, I'd agree with these points. I might not have in the past, but if nothing else, watching what I have for the last couple of years has convinced me that there is a certain amount of mess that benefits no one. However, a need for privacy isn't what's happening here. L and N do not want to be private. If they did, L wouldn't take a person around with him who dedicates her entire sm presence to proving proximity to him. She's not proving that he likes her, that he wants to be around her, that he's a simp for her. She's proving that she's breathing the same air as him (and seemingly having to scan crowd footage nearly 2 years later to do so!). Think about how truly odd it would be to be spending time doing that nearly two years into a public relationship, when one could simply post ones own photos? Unless, of course, they don't want that much evidence on their own page (ie don't want the adjacents to oversaturate the media with images of them for when/ if it goes south). But even then, the idea that a serious nearly 2 year relationship would require posting security footage that shows you are with but not near the other person is wild to me.

And JD for his part loves to post stuff that is very similar- posting with or near N so he can get attention. I'm not sure for him that it's about engagement and clicks the way it is for A. But he definitely enjoys the attention that comes with it, and the name-dropping he can likely employ. And I assume he enjoys the currency that being associated with N provides when it comes to work.

"But Bridgey, they don't owe us anything."

You're right, they don't. However, both N and L know that they have gotten the most traction with getting their name out there in the tabloid media through these alleged "relationships." N knows that a good number of her stan pages simply exist because of her alleged relationship with JD. There are tumblr blogs and stan pages that existed prior to him, sure, but a lot of them seem dedicated to simply celebrating her relationship and personal life and not much to her actual work. L hasn't enjoyed the same benefits, partially due to sexism/ internalized misogyny and partially because he didn't benefit from the narrative of being the wounded party and having a SO who allegedly rescued him from it all. It also doesn't help that the person he's connected to just doesn't have much personality or likability. I can't recall a single post in the last nearly 2 years that has shown us anything about A's likes or interests beyond the gym, the beach, dance, or proximity to L.

Lately, N has had a lot of projects drop to promote. She's been getting a fair amount of press from them. There's been rumors of other projects and I'm even sure some announcements to come. We just got served some L content in the way of White Mars bts costumes. And we got some rumors of upcoming L projects with little actual confirmation. But the reality is both are independent contractors and while brand deals can keep them on the radar somewhat, they get far more engagement and investment from fans when they or the adjacents around them post about their alleged personal lives. I truly believe that neither really enjoy fostering a parasocial relationship with fans (N has certainly complained publicly about fans' parasocial relationship to her), but it doesn't stop them from feeding it.

If I were a celeb who truly didn't want a parasocial relationship to fans, I'd take a page from Hannah Dodd's book. I wouldn't show up at work events with a "partner." I'd have professional social media only. I'd keep family and friends off my public page as much as possible.

They know the secret: when they foster a parasocial relationship with fans, there are some who will go so far as to create stan accounts for those relationships. They'll get more feature articles in people, DM, etc. They'll get mentioned in listicles of Bridgerton stars with personal lives. They'll get more social media comments, positive or negative. They'll give something to fans to argue about in the comment section.

Dear Nicola,

I wanted to highlight this part of the article and break it down a bit for you. First of all, nobody should be made to discuss their body, ad nauseum, on screen. I remember during season 3 promo how both you and L were subjected to endless glow up comments and really inappropriate comments on your body. I remember horrible comments on articles (one in particular from A and her mom, but I digress), and had so much empathy for you.

However, becoming a body positive advocate is not always something you choose. It’s how you embody body positivity. As someone who pulled the perfect breast community comment out of your back pocket, or repped fashion brands and wore avant garde fashion, or spoke repeatedly about how she insisted on being naked to “f the haters,” you embodied the movement.

I can understand wanting to distance yourself from it now and wanting to have your acting and accomplishments celebrated. But your comment about the fan in the bathroom isn’t sitting right to me, and I think might feel that way to some other fans.

So let’s break this down: you were very public about choosing to be naked and using positive language around your own body. Your comment about us really being f*cked because she’s the largest body they want to see on-screen is so on point. It’s true that at a petite U.K. size 8-10, (US size 4-6) you were far from plus-sized. But after doing all that you don’t want fans to share with you that you made them feel seen?

Yours might have been one of the first softer or curvier bodies they’ve seen worshipped on screen. This is why representation matters. Seeing those scenes made lots of women feel beautiful if they saw aspects that reminded them of their own bodies. When women get vulnerable and share that, you can choose to receive it how you want but them sharing something so personal and from the heart is not intended to make you feel that’s all they cared about in your performance. And calling it reductive or boring is insulting to your fans.

You’re labeling someone’s representation in a negative way. By no means are you expected to be anyone’s therapist and certainly some of your fans appear to lack boundaries (approaching you in the bathroom for instance). However, it sounds like you also have some unpacking to do on your feelings on all of this. You’re alienating a whole swath of your fans who love you because they felt you provided them with their first representation. And why? So you can distance yourself from the body positivity movement? So you can shame a vulnerable fan?

I hope this is something for you to think about.

Like they always overexplain things to a weirdly specific degree?

Like so many details that it’s somehow less believable than if they just acted chill?

Have you ever heard of bean soup theory? I was introduced to the idea on TT. Basically, someone made a bean soup recipe and the comments were filled with things like: I’m allergic to beans, can I make it without?, I don’t like beans, Beans hurt my stomach etc. There were, of course, a few positive comments also. But mostly, people made it about themselves, their opinions, and their ideas about the soup.

The theory is that not everything in life is FOR you. Some things are things you’ll see, walk past and say, eh, not for me. That’s ok. It’s totally healthy. But what you don’t do is go into someone else’s comment section and leave a bunch of comments about how it’s not for you. You can just scroll along and let people feel how they want to feel.

I do it frequently with “realistic” Lukolas. Let them have their ideas (which are probably more mainstream). That’s fine for them. I’m over here in my own part of the ship, enjoying what comes in and making my own interpretations. There have been times I’ve been right. I didn’t feel the need to rub it in their faces. The point is that all of us, at the end of the day have the same interest- cooking in bean soup theory but in our case Lukola. We all want to see them manifest.

I’m back to review part 1, and unfortunately I tend to agree with most of the critics here. I’m going to break down the good, the bad and the ugly.

The Good:

-Polin carriage scene, them adjusting themselves and happily married bliss. All very enjoyable and arguably the most spicy of part 1, which says a lot given that their clothes were on.

-Baby Elliot. He’s a true star ⭐️

-Violet finding her pinnacle with the handsome Marcus

-Sophie is really likable and I think Yerin does a great job in her portrayal.

-Hyacinth calling El out on her behavior

The Bad:

-The New Sets. It was painfully easy to tell it wasn’t a real street or houses and felt more theatrical than cinematic.

-Michaela’s costume. Why are you doing her dirty?

-Fran’s sex scenes. Really uncomfortable to watch and makes me feel for John a bit who seems like a perfectly nice guy.

-Pen and Fran being so rude to El and leaving her out of the convo. Yes, I know it’s impolite conversation to have with a single woman, but since when have they been rule followers?

-Violet’s sex talk with Fran. I didn’t need to see that again. It made my skin crawl.

-The Mondrich subplot where she doesn’t want to be a lady in waiting. There’s no explanation for her decision and it comes off as kind of bratty.

The Ugly:

-Benedict. He’s so oblivious. I feel like I’m watching an episode of blues clues where the clues are incredibly obvious and he’s too self absorbed to put it together. When he finds out from Violet where the glove came from and figures out it’s not one of the young ladies of the house and the person can’t dance… it should add up. Kissing Sophie as many times as he has should trigger a memory for him- smell, taste, feel.:. But sadly the passion, to me, isn’t believable.

Then there’s the fact that it’s probably her first time with a man and after experiencing pleasure with him (btw, I was icked out by his behavior in the sexy parts of this scene), he asks her to be his mistress? Dude, you were just inside her! What the heck? Yes I realize this is from the book, but with the lack of chemistry on his part leading up and her experiencing most likely her first pinnacle with a partner, it made it extra cringe.

I’m not sold that he’s a changed man and needs Sophie at this point either. I don’t see him caring enough about this in order to really follow through.

-Downstairs subplots. I like them actually but there isn’t enough time in the eps to deal with the subplots they have already. Adding eps could be a good plan for this.

-QC. Her behavior is extra cringe.

Hi All,

I'm going to post my review of Season 4 ep 1. If you're not interested in spoilers please scroll along and don't look below. TIA!

=============================================

Season 4 part 1 pleasantly surprised me. From the lackluster promo and lack of chemistry I was worried that would translate onto the screen, and I saw more than I thought I would. As many of you know, I'm a Polin Stan, so this will be written from that pov.

My initial impressions: the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Good:

-I actually thought Y and LT had more chemistry than I imagined they would, specifically in the gazebo scene. I enjoyed their banter when she was trying to get out of dancing with the other gentleman. I still find the staring at the chandelier a little goofy, but they both looked good.

-Polin and Baby Elliot. Oh my goodness I couldn't take the cuteness and I enjoyed the implied sex scene. You can tell all the in-laws are getting along well and well integrated. Portia seems to have softened. Pen is dealing with some unintended if not admittedly lighthearted consequences of being Whistledown publicly. It is kind of wild that the show decided to do a wigception and make her look more like herself in real life by way of her wig, further blurring the lines for Lukola fans...but I digress.

-We got a little preview of the steaminess to come for Violet, and you go girl.

-QC is as stubborn as ever, no surprise there. Wondering what's ahead for Lady Danbury and some of what she eluded to.

-I loved Eloise's attitude but more on her costume in a minute.

-Francesca and John seem to have a real friendship which is sweet to witness.

The Bad:

-Not enough Polin. This season will be influenced by a number of things: both of them doing a lot of press for award shows, it's not their season anymore, they're not really a big influence in this book because it's out-of-order, also L filming White Mars.

-Hand back that baby Portia!!!

-There should have been more of that implied sex scene.

-No dancing at the ball itself by any of the main characters?

The Ugly:

-Female wigbert wig on Eloise. Awful. Zero stars.

-The show felt choppy to me. It felt like we were missing context from before the ball in Sophie's story. The season is longer than last and it felt like things were cut for time. Just add more episodes. We wait 2 years for them, might as well be 10-12 eps.

-I did not see the love at first sight Benedict is supposed to have or the recognition that it's happened afterwards. The meet cute fell flat for me. The chemistry was fine but not visceral in the way Polin's was.

Parasocial behavior has become a buzz word and we saw Nicola talking about it recently in her Saturday Guardian article. I wrote about it in another blog post, so I won't rehash the article other than to point out a few main takeaways.

-There seems to be acknowledgement on her part that maybe some things needed to change when she was quoted as saying, "What have I done?" but there was no follow up as to what that meant or what changes she might be making.

-There were two parts in the article where she addressed parasocial behavior- one where she seemingly was trying to put certain rumors to rest and the other where she actually got emotional because she talked about fans who went to the point of sending others to follow & film her in the streets of NYC, trying to find her home, and making her feel actually threatened and unsafe. As I said in my earlier post, it is absolutely unequivocally wrong to spend time trying to track a celebrity's location in real time, finding their home, or sending people to play paparazzi. I even take issue with the way paparazzi handle themselves with celebrities and found it exceptionally odd that certain corners of the fandom would celebrate photos where she was clearly crying and uncomfortable.

However: some of these pap pictures were very likely called in. Backgrid is known for this, and in particular, the same pap was used every single time, an hour plus apart from each other in London. They all just so happened to be wearing relatively unbranded clothing during these outings (means they can be more widely published), looking directly into the camera, and acting differently when they saw it. The photos were kind of comical even (the Laverne and Shirley moment skipping down an alleyway with produce). However, there was clearly some coordination with their teams. When they realized the fandom had caught on to their shared custody paparazzi arrangement, all of those pics suddenly halted and haven't picked up, even with a new season of Bridgerton in the works.

Anyway, let's get back to blaming the fans. Some fans have decided to point fingers at the others, stating that they aren't the ones at fault, the other side is. Some have decided to come out in support of N and not even address their role in it at all. And some have addressed their role, and the role of others.

Anyone who watched press of N/L last year and found them cute, then followed them on social media, is to a degree parasocial. Most of us are. We like to know a little bit about the lives of celebs behind the scenes. We might read a tabloid in the grocery store aisle or gossip about what we heard most recently on Tiktok. The challenge is that where the line falls is really subjective, and N/L, Bridgerton and Shondaland had a big part in that in the last year.

So let's start with bloggers like myself. We're on here speculating. That is, to a degree, parasocial. Most of my speculations are kept to publicly available information- from social media, from blogs, etc. You might decide that's unhealthy. I think it's acceptable. Is it parasocial to ship celebrities? Yes, it absolutely is. It's also parasocial to look at pictures of celebrities in magazines or listen to blind items. Lots of folks do that, and it's ok.

Do some people take the shipping over the line? Yes. In terms of my personal boundaries, I don't make a habit of following family members, or digging into private pages. I don't want to know where they are in real time. I don't want to know the locations of their homes. Those things seem to be overreach to me.

I also think, though, that we need to address the elephant in the room. N and L did an excessive amount of press on their world tour. Most of it was them, on camera together, holding hands, touching each other when they had the chance, staring into each other's eyes, making each other laugh. Talking about what they liked to do together. Talking about intimate gifts and posting photos showing themselves off-set together. Taking romantic and intimate beach walks and having romantic dinners for two.

Not all of this was manufactured by Shondaland/Netflix. Two people don't travel together for 6 months (mind you, this press tour for season 4 is 1 month by comparison), having that kind of connection on and off camera the whole way without there being something there. N said over and over again that if you see love there, it's real love.

However, Shondaland/ Netflix went along with it. They even planned a stop to N's hometown where we watched her family members break down in tears not at seeing her, but at meeting L, on camera, in front of a room full of people. They booked the interviews, with lots of very couple-coded activities. They promoted bts images that the two shared of themselves well after the season, of the two of them, not Polin. People who worked for them responded to shipper fans saying things eluding to the wedding being real and calling them the captain of the ship. The actors went to SAG and were seated next to each other. They walked the red carpets together holding hands.

Now let's look at LT/ Yerin's promo period. Short. To the point. So far, no couples challenges or fluff. Yesterday felt like an infomercial for Bridgerton merch. The actors speaking candidly about the awkwardness. Minimal physical contact, and the contact you see couldn't be mistaken for actual affection. Totally different.

Season 3 brought in record numbers for Netflix and it's not just because of Polin season (big Polin fan myself), it's because of Lukola. It's because it was electric to watch them together. And the challenge now is wherever you sit on the ship- if you're someone who buys the sides or not, we have never seen that kind of chemistry with either one of them. We've never seen comfort, ease, friendship, or love with either of the sides. L walks away leaving his behind or throwing a sweat rag to her like an assistant. N's gets orders barked at him at events and spends time staring at other men at events he attends with her. Everything feels very forced and staged. Most people are quietly shipping in their little corners of the internet, not putting it all out there. But the reality is this:

-Parasocial or not, if you see the photos and video footage of N and L with their allegeds, most would not ship them. They might wish them well. They might have good hopes for them. But nobody would wish these things upon them, or frankly on the sides. It's consistent. I'm not here to speak ill of the sides either. I'm sure they're both perfectly nice people, and as I've said before on this blog, they have family and friends and sometimes the mean things people write about them are hard to see, because I know they, their families and friends are seeing this. However, this situation had been unfair to both, because there's a lot about it that doesn't read as fair to them or particularly good for them.

-Parasocial or not, N/L have an undeniable chemistry, friendship and connection. We saw it at SAG. I am completely unsurprised that we got a little awkwardness in the NYE promo followed by separate interviews with the cast because they can't help themselves when they're around each other (especially L). They don't want to feed into the shipping.

-However, feeding into the side narratives, true or false, is feeding into parasocialism. Their pages are public and they're business pages. Posting about your personal life is opening the door to speculation. So whether you buy it or don't, they're feeding into it.

1. Many of the actors were pictured with spouses or partners leaving the event last night. They started out strong with this, setting the narrative that they weren’t there alone.

2. Yerin and LT could not have been more professional or detached from one another in promo and gave answers like it was awkward to film the sex scenes. Understandable, honestly. I think this was intentional to set their characters apart from the actors and avoid blurring the lines.

3. I am not sure how fans were selected for this event but I about doubled over when one “fan” was asked a question and indicated she doesn’t like the show. Like what are you doing here gurl?

4. No N or L. I had assumed this was true bc although they were there filming promo on the same day as many of the others they weren’t included in the Paris promo video. Additionally, I think the want to focus on current and future leads which makes sense.

5. One of the other amusing things to me was Claudia and Adjoh twinning. I actually found this sweet but who on the team was responsible for coordinating outfits?

We’ve seen some interesting behavior from our mains recently and it’s really made me wonder if there are going to be changes going into the future. I am not sure if trying to stay in the news by way of the adjacents is wise for other, but frankly, my opinion matters little to them.

However as I was musing over all of this I was thinking back to the beginning and some things said on the WT, and how those have fueled people to find that there is a credibility issue for N and L atp. For starters, N brought up DM *by name* and stated that she publishes so much untrue information about her friends, referring to a rumor about L and a Real Housewife.

She ripped her credibility to shreds in doing so. Then, lo and behold, when her scheduled pap pics were picked up, who published them? DM. Now DM is a site that isn’t credible. She’s been caught out many times publishing things fans send with no receipts and spreading rumors with no basis in reality. So this all tracked and fans ignored the DM drops for both her and L or called them out.

N went on a crazy tour of interviews for award ceremonies last year. She had many opportunities to speak out about the press, and did. She had many opportunities to clarify what was happening. She didn’t. It’s her prerogative not to do so, but it’s also fans’ prerogative to speculate.

Even when she and L seemed to be calling things in to the same pap all year, nothing was clarified. (This fact is still interesting to me, as there just seems to be no reason 2 adults in separate relationships would coordinate their relationship PR, but I digress).

Then L started bringing A to events but acted extremely odd and off at each one:

-stilted body language

-her following behind or behind his back

-little to no communication and when there was he was saying things like, “Let’s get this done.”

-him styled but not her

-her handling things like an assistant

JD finally made his red carpet debut with N where he looked deeply uncomfortable and engaged in some less than stellar behavior with a male reality star.

Ultimately behavior is 80-90% of communication. The overcorrections, inconsistencies and continued awkwardness and forced narratives don’t ring true to many, and I wonder if that’s why we’ve seen N back off.

I found myself chatting with a friend of mine who’s been following this Lukola stuff from afar and was discussing how odd and specific the timing of all of this seems. The reality is that any time following the 90 day promo window, Nic, Luke or both could have provided this type of clarification: direct and to the point. They certainly don’t have to (it’s their prerogative what to share), but when you don’t, people fill in the blanks for you. And based on N’s article, she didn’t enjoy that.

Anyway, I was discussing how some of the more active and, at times, potentially problematic fan accounts had gone quiet in the last 6 months, either shutting down their TTs or tumblr pages, taking a hiatus or even saying they were gone for good. I’m not specifically aiming this at Lukolas, btw, because the following and filming in NYC she referenced in the article when getting emotional wasn’t a Lukola-initiated event.

I am sure everyone has seen the article in the Saturday Guardian yesterday, and I wanted to allow the dust to settle and watch as a quiet observer for a day before I weighed in. There have been a lot of shots fired throughout the Bridgerton, Polin and Lukola/Jakola/ (well, the two Antukes in the world, presumably A and her mother). While everyone goes after all the parties involved, I noticed a few things that I thought are important to point out.

There are major creators in this fandom who in some way compromised N or L's safety. When these things were pointed out to them they had 2 options:

a. Back off and re-evaluate (which many, by the way, did, by either leaving public creating OR removing the offending posts)

b. Double down.

I remember some really interesting discourse around the time of the second set of N and JD pap pics (after the festival) where some people celebrated the pics despite the fact that she was followed, presumably through her neighborhood, at night, and appeared to be crying and wiping her tears with his hand. JD even gave her his hat. These, to me, did not look like scheduled pap pics. Festival ones? Could be. They didn't seem violated in the same way. It was a public concert outdoors, so technically fair game. But following someone down their road at night time? Shouldn't be, even if it is (imo).

These people went on to have lives where they simply said celebrities should have no expectation of privacy at all. If they step outside their homes, they shouldn't expect privacy. Who would want to live like that, even with money? If we go off of that, you mean there's no privacy when they go through a family tragedy, no privacy when you are ill, no privacy when you are with people who don't want to be in the public eye. In fact, in many cities and communities (thinking of NYC for instance), generally celebs' privacy is respected when they're off the clock and not at a fan-specific event. NYC natives would look at you oddly for approaching a celeb in their off-time. I see some of these individuals and the ones close to them sharing this article or posting about it as if their hands are clean. Newsflash: if you contributed in some way, it isn't.

2. This goes double for the individuals L and N have surrounded themselves with. We (the fandoms) collectively are strangers on the internet. Theoretically, the people around them should care more about their welfare and well-being than literal strangers. This was pointed out repeatedly by some during Sorrento-gate and then they appeared to have collective amnesia when Jake was on the scene and they encouraged people to stalk N through tags in NYC and then follow and film her as her and JD looked terrified. Then N actually posted about it and these people doubled down. Some removed the tags. In some cases, JD seemed to remove some himself. Regardless of where they went, there was no learning, because we later heard about the same individual stalking N to Cannes and following her through a parking garage where she had to mask her face to avoid paparazzi or fans following.

However, this is where I think two things can be true:

-You can love and respect a celebrity and feel they should be treated as a human being.

-You can side-eye their choices and behaviors.

Right now, a lot of the think pieces I'm reading are basically calling everyone involved sickos and indicating that N can do no wrong. It's ok to empathize with N, feel awful that she felt so unsafe, feel awful that despite numerous impassioned pleas to the same people they continued to follow around and film her. It's ok to think shipping culture is wrong if that's where you stand. But it's also ok to point out where she (or the people around her) may have contributed to some of this. It doesn't mean you don't have empathy and don't think it's diabolical to try to give away someone's real time location or share exactly where they live. Both of those things are wrong, and fans had to be called out for them.

However, there are some ways that N and her entourage, L and his entourage, and the whole PR press tour have contributed to this. Case in point:

Johnny Bailey has decided to be a celebrity with social media and to keep his private life private. Those of you newer to the fandom may not know this but at one point he actually brought a partner with him to an awards show, so this has not always been his policy. Maybe that became his policy after a bad experience, maybe after watching how it went for someone else. Ultimately, that was his decision and he made it.

If you go to his social media, it's strictly work. He doesn't post about his friends, his family, his SO if he even has one. His Aussie pap pics the other day were solo pics, which, btw, is an option. You don't have to do couple pap pics. His career is moving along swimmingly, it seems, and without exploiting his personal life for clicks and views.

It's unfortunate, but once a celeb starts posting others (friends, partners, family members), they open them to speculation and rumor. It's that simple. And if they don't clarify it, what will happen is it can take on a life of its own. It especially doesn't help when the content that is put out there is checkered by fake photos inserted into slideshows, people posting body parts, insinuations, and people being caught literally posting things that didn't happen or they weren't there for. All of the above has happened in this fandom.

Heck, one of the above adjacent parties has been caught running a fan page for themself and praising themselves as a partner. The same individual is in private fan chats and spaces, taking photos of themselves to share on this platform. Is that typical behavior? Is that helping or hurting?

One thing I've noticed as an observer is that celebrities have people glom onto them who seem to want their pound of flesh. People have noticed it with the way the adjacents in this case have been promoted. Whether you sit on the part of the ship where you think it's authentic or not, it's not always typical for an invited guest to get solo pics at an event, or to have solo articles written about them and promote them. It's not typical for their friends to glom on and expect to be a long for the ride and promoted in the way that we've seen here. All of the above is why people don't buy it, because it doesn't read like other authentic celeb relationships, where the partner either remains private on SM or just shows up to appearances, smiles, supports their partner, and maybe shares a few pics here and there.

Does any side of this have their hands entirely clean? No. It's better for people to take accountability at this point for their part and try to make proactive changes for the future, imo. But that goes just as much for the fandom (literal strangers) as it does for the alleged friends and adjacents' of N and L, as well as for N and L themselves. The more they post private and personal things, the more they invite speculation and commentary on it, and for me, I think you can't have it both ways.

I say this with the huge caveat that giving up someone's real time location, following them, or posting identifiable parts of their home are unacceptable. Please note these things are the part of the interview where Nic talked about feeling unsafe and cried, because they are actual credible threats to safety. Nobody should make fun of her feeling emotional about this because truly, I look at the situation and feel that anyone would feel afraid if these things were happening. While I'm sure she was annoyed with rumors and speculation, none of those things put her life imminently in danger. As to fans stopping with the rumors and speculation, the best thing either could do is to stop sharing their personal life if they don't want it discussed and to set boundaries with friends and hangers on. Until we see those changes, it's unlikely speculation will cease.

It's also important to note that celebrities know people are curious about their personal lives and share those things in order to get engagement and views so that when they post about work, they get better metrics. While this definitely works, the only way to avoid speculation into their lives are not to share it, so sometimes, a decision has to be made: what is more important? For now, I think theorizing and speculating is allowed, because at least on L's end, he's still allowing for it.

Do I think this means it should be public mean-spirited speculation that shames those involved? No. But the problem is that once you release it to the public, it will often be received differently than intended, and once you've put it out there, it's out of your control. It's out in the world, and they'll interpret it how they do. And ultimately, a lot of people who 'buy into' the adjacents use that as an excuse to be publicly mean and humiliating. It's one thing to discuss in a private gc (and by the way, if the adjacents' choose to go read nastiness about themselves in gcs thats between them, their God, and their therapist, imo), it's another to post it where their friends and family can see it and humiliate them over and over.

This is the same way magicians usually do their tricks. Look over here! No no, look over here! Woah I cut this person in half! Can you believe it? Well sure, they did the trick while you were looking over there.

Here’s the other thing about misdirection and magic tricks. People are creatures of habit, and frankly some are better at some tricks than others. What ultimately happens is usually they resort to the same old patterns, the same old tricks over and over again.

I say all of this just to say that we’re back to the same old tricks so that we don’t notice rabbits getting pulled out of hats. And imo, our two little rascally rabbits are much more interesting, aren’t they?