TIME SLIDING SON OF A BITCH !

               ❝ Just the same as it’s always been. Everyone’s still keeping up with the Kardashians or announcing that they’re going to run for president. It’s really a weird time we’re living in, Cable. ❞

‘ oh, y’know, there’s always ghost shit goin’ on.   ghosts. demons. monsters and ghouls. always somethin’   new with me. ’

a flippant shrug follows his words. life kept going no matter who was around to see it, and though he’d missed nate, he knows when he has to leave. the door is always left open, though. hopefully the other man remembers that — maybe it’s why he came back at all.

‘ i can make y’somethin’ to eat, if you’re hungry.   got beers in the fridge too. my treat. ’

he offers, motioning towards the cooler. 

“that’s the only thing about the future that’s nice,  i guess.  no ghosts or demons.  not that i’ve seen,  at least.”  that’d be the least of his worries in his timeline,  considering how chaotic everything was.  a war-ridden world with something always going on outside his window,  loud and booming and dangerous.  this world is too quiet sometimes,  and it does wonders to Nate’s anxiety.

               ❝ Did you time slip yourself into another dimension? I feel like I haven’t seen you in a while. ❞ // @bredintowar low key ♥’d

           he considers trying to go back to the original plan, to yell at nate until he’s hoarse and then curse him out some more. but with the hug returned, the i’m sorry followed up by some actual sort-of explanation? bucky recognises that plan isn’t going to be retrieved from the window it had gone flying through, and instead settles for hugging the other a second time just as tightly as the first. and if it maybe takes a second to compose himself, make sure he’s not going to do more than get a little misty in the eyes? well, that’s on him.

                                             “ we’ve had this talk, dammit. ” 

              still, he’s at a point where he’s been strung out too long, and there’s not much energy left to get angry about it just now. guess they’ll have to go over bucky not wanting to leave him on his own to fight later. again.

                      the invitation to take things inside is accepted with an exhausted nod, bucky hugging nate’s arm to his chest as if the man might try to run off again if he didn’t. maybe not terribly fair, but he’s too shaken to worry about fair right this second, and nate will just have to put up with only having one hand free for awhile.

       “ i was really fucking worried. i couldn’t find you, nathan, ” the brunet murmurs anxiously, eyes suddenly widening slightly before he’s pulling out his cell to shoot off a quick text to steve about the change in the situation before sliding the device back into his pocket. “ i mean it, we were looking everywhere, and i didn’t even know for sure if you were in this time. ”

yeah,  they have had this talk before.  Nate remembers it clearly,  and though it’d done a good job of soothing his anxiety at that moment,  it didn’t take long for it to crawl up into his chest again and make him doubt himself and them.  what he had with Bucky seemed like it was too good and he was undeserving of it,  especially when he thinks hard on it.  he left his wife,  his daughter and his home to stay in this timeline and instead of focusing solely on fixing the future,  he’s acting like a bachelor with Bucky.  he’s happy with him and he doesn’t deserve that happiness. 

“we?  guessin’ that includes your Captain friend.  i’m sure he wants to punch my face in.”  oh,  Nate will allow it to happen because he knows Bucky isn’t going to raise his hand against him.  even though he can tell he wants to.  they both know he has it coming.  there’s guilt in his eyes as he stares at the other,  not wanting to take his gaze away from him.  he still has his key for the run-down apartment he’s staying in.  it’s a good thing he’s paid the rent for it so long in advance,  or else all of his belongings would be thrown out into the street by now.  he doesn’t own much,  but still. 

“i was here.  i found a way to get another charge.  on my time device.  i hoped i could find where to travel to.  when.  but i couldn’t.  not alone.”  he could save himself from this virus with that charge and he knows that,  but that’s not what he wants to use it on.  he can use it to save the future but he needs more time to figure out how.  always more time.  never enough of it.

Nate has never been one to get flustered and right now isn’t an exception.  he’s just amused at the comment,  snorting with a raised brow.  “lots of compliments already.  i think my shut away ego missed that.”  oh,  he’s not egotistical at all.  the complete fucking opposite.  Ash knows that,  he’s sure.

the moment he sees Bucky and that look on his face,  his heart clenches tight and the guilt hits him like a damn freight train.  what was he thinking,  leaving him without warning?  he knows all the trauma Bucky has gone through in his life,  all the pain and shit he himself wouldn’t have survived were he in the same situation.  Nathan is a weak man,  unlike Bucky.  all of his strength lies in the physical aspects of him but emotionally?  he’s damaged,  vulnerable and lost.  even though he’s spent more time in this timeline and this new world,  he still feels pathetically out of place.  he misses his daughter and his home but he knows he’s never getting any of it back.  it’s nobody’s fault but his own.  he’s the one who made the choice to stay and try and save this world from collapsing into the war-ridden future he comes from.  

but through and through,  he has Bucky,  doesn’t he?  he may not deserve him,  but Bucky doesn’t seem to care.  Nate is damn glad,  as selfish as it may be.  he loves him,  as unbelievable as it may sound considering how long he left him for.  

he doesn’t tense at the sudden embrace,  hesitating only briefly before he returns it,  firm and tight,  taking in that familiar warmth and scent he missed so fucking much.  he truly is an idiot for ever leaving him.  “not anymore than the usual,”  he says plainly.  maybe the virus has spread a bit more in the time he’s been gone,  but other than that,  he doesn’t look much different.  there’s no denying the extra spread of grays at his temples,  however.

bredintowar replied to your post: how the fuck are you still alive

don’t think it’s very lucky. i was having a good time in Japan. people actually have manners there, unlike you. anyway, i already grabbed dinner. you want pizza?

❝ we didn’t need to go the whole depressed route. at least not this early in the night. ❞     a pause.     ❝ depends entirely on the toppings. let’s see if your taste is up to par.  you stayed in japan, so i got good feelings about this. you might actually be a man of culture. ❞