moved

‘  what  was  i  to  you ?  the  girl  you  screwed  to  get  over  being  screwed ?  ’

‘  you  were  like  coming  up  for  fresh  air .  it’s  like  i  was  drowning  and  you  saved  me .  that’s  all  i  know .  ’

‘ am  i ?  … dead ?   ’

‘  i’m  glad  you’re  being  strong  about  this .  i  know  how  hard  this  is ,  i  know  how  bad  you  feel .  ’

‘  not  everybody  has  to  be  happy  all  the  time .  that’s  not  mental  health ,  that’s  crap .  ’

‘  it’s  not  a  screw  up ,  it’s  a  miracle .  ’

‘  please  don’t  cry  on  my  ass .  ’

‘  what  do  you  need ,  an  “ i  love  you ”  or  something ?  i  love  you .  call  me  when  you get  there .  ’

‘  oh , yay !  someone’s  hurt .  ’

‘  pick  me .  choose  me .  love  me .  ’

‘  i’m  just  not  ready  to  forgive  you  yet .  ’

‘  go  on ,  just  get  it  all  out .  all  the  tears .  ’

‘  i  intend  to  fight  like  a  girl .  i’ll  let  them  kill  each  other  and  then  i’ll  be  the  last  one  standing .  ’

‘  well ,  isn’t  this  cozy ?  can  i  join  or  are  you  not  into  threesomes ?  ’

‘  if  i  went  missing ,  would  anyone  notice  i  was  gone ?  ’

‘  that  is  rude  and  unkind  and  completely  true .  ’

‘  so ,  i’m  bisexual .  so  what ?  it’s  called  lgbtq  for  a  reason .  there’s  a  b  in  there  and  it  doesn’t  mean  badass .  okay ,  it  does ,  but  it  also  means  bi .  ’

‘  can  you  go  have  sex  with  him  and  make  him  be  nicer ?  ’

‘  i  don’t  know  what  i  am ,  but  i  know  that  i  am  not  happy .  ’

‘  it’s  okay …  to  be  tired ,  right ?  ’

‘  i  don’t  know  who  i  am  anymore .  not  someone  i  ever  thought  i’d  be .  ’

‘  i  believe ,  if  you  were  dead ,  the  world  would  be  a  better  place .  ’

‘  don’t  let  what  they  want  eclipse  what  you  need .  ’

‘  he  is  not  the  sun .  you  are .  ’

‘  he  can  go  suck  it !  i  am  the  sun .  ’

‘  did  he  visit  “ ladytown ” ?  because  i  find  if  they  don’t  go  down  to  “ ladytown ”  the  first  time …  there  should  be  no  next  time .  ’

‘  i  need  more  liquor ,  i’m  not  ready .  ’

‘  uh ,  this  bottle  is  empty ,  are  there  more ?  bottles ?  ’

‘  i’m  all  alone  and  i  have  nothing  and  no  one  wants  me .  ’

‘  let’s  do  it .  let’s  make  a  baby ,  right  now .  ’

‘  is  it  true ?  did  you  punch  a  homophobe ?  ooh ,  unexpected .  high  five !  ’

‘  we’re  adults .  when  did  this  happen ?  and  how  do  we  make  it  stop ?  ’

‘  you  think  i’m  broken ?  fix  me .  cause  i’m  no  quitter .  ’

‘  i’m  not  happy  and  bubbly .  i’m  dark  and  cloudy .  ’

‘  you  never  think  the  last  time’s  going  to  be  the  last  time .  you  think  there  will  be  more .  you  think  you  have  forever ,  but  you  don’t .  ’

‘  no  one  is  leaving  and  no  one  is  dying .  ’

‘  everyone  is  leaving  and  everyone  is  dying .  ’

‘  the  words  that  you  said  were  “ lets  take  this  bitch  down . ”  ’

‘  that  was  the  tequila  talking .  ’

‘  the  only  way  to  fail  is  not  to  fight  so  you  fight  until  you  can’t  fight  anymore .  ’

‘  from  now  on ,  you  can  expect  that  i’m  gonna  show  up .  even  if  i  yell ,  even  if  you  yell .  i’m  always  gonna  show  up ,  okay ?  ’

‘  it’s  not  true …  it’s  not  true .  he  takes  the  truth  but  he  twists  it  and  changes  it  to  fit  his  own  story .  ’

‘  you’re  my  person .  if  i  murdered  someone ,  you’re  the  person  i’d  call  to  help  me  drag  the  corpse  across  the  living  room  floor .  ’

‘  you  are  my  favorite  person  on  the  planet  and  if  we  are  meant  to  be  more  in  this  lifetime  it  can’t  start  with  you  cheating .  ’

‘  are  you  plotting  a  murder ?  a  nuclear  attack ?  it’s  fine ,  i’ll  get  on  board ,  i’m  sure  you  have  a  good  reason .  but  just ,  let  me  know .  ’

‘  you’ve  said  that  word  so  many  times  today  it  doesn’t  even  sound  like  a  word  anymore .  ’

‘  who  here  feels  like  they  have  no  idea  what  they’re  doing ?  ’

‘  too  many  people  have  seen  me  naked  already .  i’d  like  to  keep  whatever  dignity  i  have  left .  ’

‘  we  screw  boys  like  whores  on  tequila .  ’

‘  i  want  another  chance .  i’m  so  in  love  with  you .  ’

‘  i  know  you  have  a  boyfriend .  i’m  saying  you  could  have  a  husband .  ’

‘  your  boobs  are  perfect ,  your  hair  is  down  to  there .  if  i  were  you ,  i’d  walk  around  naked  all  the  time .  ’

‘  i  believe  that  in  the  face  of  overwhelming  evidence  to  the  contrary ,  we’ll  all  be  okay .  ’

‘  your  choice ,  it’s  simple :  them  or  me ?  i’m  sure  they’re  really  great ,  but  i  love  you .  ’

‘  i  get  it ,  okay ?  i  get  it !  you’ll  be  okay ,  you’ll  be  fine ,  but  what  about  me ?  so  don’t  do  it  for  yourself ,  do  it  for  me !  ’

‘  i’ll  never  be  able  to forgive  you  for  making  me  love  you .  ’

are you all comfortable? did you remember to fold your laundry? have some dinner if you haven’t. now that i have your attention, let me finally write my own personal input on the subject aforementioned in this blog, because while i am probably a shade master, this is not a joking matter, i can’t just sit back & watch it happen without saying anything. 

i. on how lesbophobia in the rpc is very real:

believe it or not, i’ve been in the role play community for a very long time. before small text, before icons, when people used huge 500x300 gifs on their paras (when people still called them paras), when glee was at its prime, when the L world was still airing, when lost girl was THE show to watch at the time and you know what? this has always, always happened. the rpc is so proficient in demeaning & erasing lesbians from their interpretation to favor their ships, to favor what they’re comfortable with, and who they’re comfortable portraying.

you know how i know this?

because i play a canonically lesbian character who’s identity has been erased in the role play community for YEARS ! even as early as season 2, santana lopez already identified as a lesbian & i watched, before i took on her mantle, people shipping her with finn, & puck, & sam, & even SEBASTIAN (a canonically gay man), to get their rocks off on their precious heterosexual ships, and i got fucking tired of watching it. AS A LESBIAN, all of you have no idea how it made my stomach turn. its discouraging, & downright disgusting how that feeling of invalidation can really eat you up form the inside out. because you have that rep (and a rep that destroyed every stereotype tv at the time just loved to fish with), but people discard it so easily, so nonchalantly, like its nothing. like it means nothing. & you know what? it means everything.

which leads me to

ii. i still can’t believe its 2018 & i’m making a fucking post explaining why cheryl blossom identifying as a lesbian is important (not the title of a fall out boy song):

compulsory heterosexuality, in any way, shape, or form, is real, & common among lesbians. i experienced it myself, through the simple process of forcing myself to believe i was heterosexual, then forcing myself to believe that maybe i was just bi, and then finally, after years of soul searching & self repression, discovering that i am a lesbian. & you know what? that’s probably exactly what cheryl blossom went through. by making her anything other than a homosexual woman, you are destroying the representation of so many young girls (& older women), who went through this process & had the same struggles.

you know what it is? its homophobic.

you don’t feel comfortable playing a lesbian & want to make her bi instead? don’t fucking play that character. you don’t feel comfortable with f/f ships? don’t fucking play lesbian muses. you want to see more f/m ships? maybe turn around & look at the hundreds upon hundreds of heterosexual couples on television.

bi muses are valid ! pansexual muses are valid ! straight characters you interpret as bi/pan/gay are valid too! but don’t come here, and pretend that making a canonically lesbian character bisexual is not about your m/f ships because i’m too old for this shit & i already know how this goes.