#battleincarnate

ship asks | accepting!

          Judy genuinely believed that with all of her heart. What made her nervous on most occasions was the opposite of that coming to fruition. Jen was a fierce woman and Judy had been on the receiving end of that ferocity more than once now. It was frightening. It made her feel like she was barely two inches tall. She felt less of a threat about that happening these days but the sting of it was always in the back of her mind still. “I know,” she replied, a flood of warmth rushing through her chest. Despite those very unpleasant memories she still felt the highest affection toward the other woman. She still felt like the luckiest woman alive to be someone who Jen cared about.

          She wanted to offer the same sentiment back to Jen but it seemed laughable. She was a mouse in the face of Jen’s lion. She couldn’t offer protection in the same way but she could offer her own livelihood in place of that. “I’d do anything to keep you safe too,” she said, and she had already proved that a handful of times as well. She had a criminal record now so that Charlie and Henry didn’t have to witness their mother being arrested at their late father’s birthday memorial. She had even offered to go down for Steve’s murder. She wasn’t a fighter in the same way that Jen was but she would fight for her all the same. She reached over and took Jen’s hand in hers and squeezed. She was looking her in the eyes, her own eyes wide and full of gratitude. “Thank you.”

so e.mison is one of those ships that i have so many feelings about and care about so deeply but ship in a.. very specific way. like, i have a lot of problems with how fandom characterizes this pairing and generally just.. can’t with certain interpretations of my girls. these are my girls and i love each of them so very deeply and am so very fascinated by their dynamic but only in its truest form. i can’t do the glossing over and romanticizing of abuse that fandom does. 

when people start talking e.mison up as this beautiful romantic shiny happy epic love soulmate ship? that’s when i lose all interest and they lose all appeal. there’s nothing healthy about this ship, and the show never really does the work it would need to do to truly get these girls to a healthy place. there’s too much damage. what alison did to emily when they were kids is horrifying, as is the influence she has over her later on. as they get older, it’s not so malicious– it’s more so a factor of alison’s trauma and inability to have healthy relationships or behave as a healthy person would, but that doesn’t change the fact that there’s a lot to this dynamic that is.. dangerous. 

there’s so much trauma between these two girls and i need it to be acknowledged. i need emily’s perspective to be as important as alison’s. i need alison’s abuse of her to be acknowledged. i need their individual stories to prioritized over their joint ones. they each need to have a voice and that voice needs to be valued. so long as all of that criteria is met, then.. absolutely. layers upon layers upon layers, complex history.. i’m sold.

like i said i love this ship i just.. love my ship, not that one that’s so popular in fandom that glosses over all of the manipulation and toxicity present. or the one the show threw together in season seven without doing the work it needed to do to make them earned– or at least the ship they were trying to sell. i’m pretty good at taking what i like and mentally discarding what i don’t so i could still enjoy them, but it took a lot of mental re-writing to do so. 

               Looking around the wooded area she sighed and rolled her shoulders, bored stiff but the cold was to blame for the stiffness. “Bingo...” she whispered seeing a clearing before a familiar headstone which was reassuring, meant that maybe she’d get some action. Normally she would be eating those words but again, she was bored and needed the action however maybe she WOULD be eating her words.

               If had been five vampires sure she could have handled that alone. But the whopping dozen was pushing her limits and making her wish she would have stopped smoking a decade ago. She fought as many off as she could before giving into instincts and taking off for the woods which she shouldn’t have done because that was the dumbest thing to do. However they didn’t give her many options so there she was being that blonde but brunette bimbo running through the woods from the bad guy.

               “Next time...I get to go to Hawaii or fuckin’ Florida...” she said to herself as she jumped over a branch before ducking another one, frowning when she heard a HOWL. “Oh come on...” she breathed not really feeling up to dealing with a werewolf on top of the vamps.