sweet like honey

You felt uneasy and wrong ever since you walked out on Jungkook in that hospital. The guilt was keeping you up every night, making you wonder whether it was all a mistake.

You kept thinking about it, replaying the scene in your head, wondering if it was an overreaction on your part coming from a lack of understanding of the type of lifestyle Puddle of Love led. What if Jungkook wasn’t lying, and it was a tradition and meant nothing more than that? What if you fucked the whole thing up because you were just too afraid to give it a try, to look past a simple mistake?

The worst part was that you couldn’t share your thoughts with anyone because no one knew about the two of you except, well, the two of you, and talking to Jungkook just wasn’t an option. The picture of you two got out, and all you saw online was constant, never-ending hate towards you.

Some people thought you were too desperate to even show up at the hospital. After all, no one knew you were friendly with any of the Puddle of Love members, so it did seem weird for you to go to the hospital when even your manager hadn’t done that.

Others thought you were tacky for going to the hospital. They said that while it was clear fans didn’t know everything that happened behind the scenes, you showing up at the hospital and hugging Jungkook was just you trying to get the media to connect you to him so you could get more clout. In their words, you were doing what you could so the story would get out and people would think Jungkook had some kind of an interest in you.

Then, some thought you weren’t a good match. One side thought you were boring, uninteresting, far worse looking than Jungkook, and that there was just no way a girl like you could keep a guy like Jungkook. Some of these fans even joked about you two having a one-night stand and you taking it too seriously, which did make you laugh. You could definitely see why people would think that. After all, didn’t you think that of Jungkook when you first met him? You never thought a guy like Jungkook could actually care about anyone other than himself.

Of course, there were some people who thought they were defending your honor by writing essays on why someone as nice as you would never go for someone like Jungkook. Others suggested that you just felt sorry for the guy because he was clearly going through something and that your concern stemmed solely from the feeling of pity towards him. The guy was a lost cause and someone who cared about her reputation as much as you did would never stoop so low.

None of these people were right, but it didn’t mean much. You didn’t have anything with Jungkook anymore, and that was all that mattered. You shouldn’t have been going through these articles—it only made you think of him more.

Then, Jungkook started to show up in the media again, under the influence, in the company of random women, and that made things a lot worse. You didn’t expect it to hurt you as much as it did, but seeing him look so lost and careless meant that he’d completely given up and you hated the idea. He should have been resting after the accident, but as always, Jungkook had a different way of doing things. None of the other Puddle of Love members were pictured outside, let alone clubbing, but Jungkook just had to be the one to break all the rules, every time.

You were sure Kijung was fuming, but there wasn’t much he could do anymore now that the tour was over. He’d have to intervene eventually if things got to that point, which you hoped just wouldn’t happen. Sadly, every day lowered your hopes. The press followed Jungkook’s every move and it seemed like he went from party to party, blacked out of his mind in each photo, a woman or more always around him. You weren’t sure how low Jungkook would go before he reached rock bottom, but this seemed low enough.

Then, Puddle of Love held a conference which was weird from start to finish, but you couldn’t even focus on what they were saying, not when Jungkook looked horrible. You thought you saw him at his lowest in Berlin, but this was way worse. It looked like he hadn’t gotten much sleep either judging by the bags under his eyes, which not even his expert makeup artist could hide. He lost focus often, his eyes wandered around, and he seemed out of it during the whole thing, except when someone asked a question about you. Not long after, Kijung decided to end the conference, and Jungkook seemed relieved, while you felt even worse about the whole ordeal.

And then, your worst nightmare happened—you had to attend an award show, and you were told Jungkook would be attending as well. It went just as bad as you expected, with him getting wasted the second Kijung left. You caught him drinking even during the show, and he didn’t seem to care who saw or how much trouble he got in. It was hard not to notice the stares his bandmates were giving him, or how pissed off Kijung seemed whenever Jungkook took a sip of his drink, but he just wasn’t stopping.

But, who were you to speak? You’d been drinking yourself, ever since you realized that you’d have to spend hours in the same room with Jungkook again. What if he showed up with some woman? It would have hurt, even though you’d seen all the pictures of him partying like nothing had ever happened. Thankfully, that didn’t happen at the award ceremony.

However, the after-party was a different story. You weren't even sure why you went—it wasn’t your type of thing, but you were tipsy, and going home in that condition and thinking about Jungkook was a recipe for disaster. The last thing you needed was to go home and cry about Jungkook, again.

A while later you learned that, actually, the last thing you needed was to see Jungkook high. You realized he was in that state when he walked right past you and didn’t even register that it was you while some girl was latching onto him, grabbing onto every body part she could. Seeing that didn’t hurt as much you expected it to—it hurt more to see him so out of it.

He walked over to his friends and started dancing as if nothing was off. The look in his eyes was what scared you. Jungkook was staring into nothing, even though there were so many people around him. He didn't notice anything, he was just jumping around with a blank stare, looking so out of place and lost, and it pained you to see him like that.

How was this the same person as the guy who spent all those nights with you at the pavilion, the guy who held your hand, who danced with you, held you tight, slept next to you, and kissed you in a way that made you never want to touch another man again? All you wanted was for you two to go back to that summer and stay in it somehow, forgetting all about his habits and everything that was bothering both of you. The second he left, you knew things would get bad, but you could have never guessed just how bad. Seeing Jungkook dance with a zombie stare was never on your list of possible scenarios.

Despite everything going on around him, Jungkook was just jumping around without caring who he hit in the process. Some people were mad after he crashed into them, but they didn’t do anything about it once they took a closer look and realized he was out of it. Some laughed and walked away, others joined, even if briefly.

Women came and went, kissed his neck, hugged him, rubbed themselves against him, and you couldn’t believe he was acting this way in public, not even looking at the women who were touching him. In fact, it was maybe even worse to see that Jungkook was letting just about anyone touch him.

However, none of that hurt as much as realizing that he was wasted out of his mind. Taehyung was shouting something at Jungkook, but he just didn’t register a single thing, and you realized he was really fucked up, and it wasn’t just the drugs.

You stood by the bar and watched him, wondering how hard he had to be hurting to let himself get to this state. Where was Ted? Did the two of them still talk? How would Jungkook explain this behavior to his therapist? Someone going to therapy and working on themselves would never let themselves get to this point. Ted was history, you were sure, just like you and all the promises Jungkook made to you.

Some girl came up to him and kissed him. Jungkook seemed to kiss back, but then he started jumping up and down to the rhythm of the music again, like nothing happened, and the girl got lost in the crowd, realizing she wasn’t going to get what she wanted from him. Was this what he talked about at the pavilion? Jungkook just did anything not to feel alone. He didn’t care about the sex or the women, it was just a thing to do, something to pass the time, fill his day, and feel less alone with thoughts. It was sad, depressing, and heart-wrenching, and you couldn’t get yourself to look at it anymore, so you ordered two shots.

While the bartender prepared them, you wondered why you even came in the first place. Was a part of you hoping Jungkook would be there and you’d get to talk things out with him? Of course, you knew nothing would come out of it, but just talking to him would ease your mind. Your plan backfired in the worst possible way and you ended up hurting yourself even more.

Jungkook forgot about the promise, you, and the pavilion, and was acting just like he’s acted ever since he became a rockstar. This was the real him, and you had to accept it. But then, you saw him walking over to the bar, and you noticed the look on his face, that look you saw so many times before, once he’d take the mask off and let himself be who he really was—a hurt, lost person with a good heart, a guy who felt like he had nowhere else to go and nothing to lose.

Then, you realized you still cared about him, despite it all. You didn’t care about the women around him or the way he was acting, you cared for the guy he was without all of that, and that was the most idiotic thought you’d ever had. Why care about someone who didn’t give a fuck if they hurt you? Jungkook has done it more than once, starting with the day he used you to smuggle his drugs and ending with the day he got high before you two were supposed to talk it all out. You were so close to having a happy ending, even if a temporary one, and he just blew it. A person who really cares wouldn’t have done it, but he did.

You followed Jungkook’s movements intently as Jenna, better known as Jungkook’s number one fan at these parties, wrapped her arms around him and tried to get closer. The bartender handed you the drinks, and you watched Jenna move in and kiss his neck as you wished that was you. You hated yourself for the thought, for even entertaining it, for ever thinking you should get close to Jungkook, so you downed both shots and decided to fuck off once and for all.

And then, your gazes met and everything stood still for a second. He saw you. Until that point, you felt like Jungkook didn’t know where he was, what he was doing, who the people around him were, and was just there to pass the time, high out of his mind. But when he looked at you that way, you understood that he’d recognized you, so when he started making his way to you, you rushed upstairs, hoping to run away. What was there to say?

After a while, the story about you and Jungkook died down, even though the whole thing got rehashed whenever someone posted a new article. Some news outlets were keen on bringing up old drama to get people talking, and that’s why it took a while for the whole thing to get swept under the rug, even if you did show up with Jooheon at the awards show like Andre suggested.

Some people focused on the smallest things and tried to get a story out of it, so headlines like “Dawn and Jungkook matching? Singers seen in white shirts on the same day” as if no one else in the world wore a white shirt or “Jungkook liked THIS Instagram post… Message to Dawn?” just became an everyday thing for you. It couldn’t even hurt you anymore. Nothing they wrote could hurt you more than what actually happened.

Andre wasn’t happy in the slightest about the pictures of you two at the hospital, mostly because he knew what type of hate you would get because of it. The company issued a statement on your behalf, explaining that you had worked with the band previously, which hadn’t been disclosed to the public before this happened, that you were single, and that your relationship with Jungkook and all other Puddle of Love members was strictly professional.

Some fans took that for the truth and didn’t post about it at all after the statement was released.

Some believed the rumors, went as far as creating fan pages for the two of you where they would post pictures of you two in similar outfits or styles and would basically just post about your love story, which sadly didn’t exist. Most days, you felt like the media got their bullshit stories from fan pages of that kind.

The third type of fans was your least favorite one because they refused to believe that you’d ever have anything to do with Jungkook, so they went out of their way to shut the rumors down, to comment on Jungkook’s posts and tell him he should stay away from you, that you were too good for him, that he was ruining your image—the type of comments that could seriously hurt someone’s feelings. You hoped Jungkook didn’t spend much time dwelling on those comments, just like you didn’t when it came to those that came from his fans.

The situation on their end was the same as it was on yours—some loved the idea, some completely hated it. You couldn’t even count how many times someone told you that you were too boring for Jungkook, that you were uninteresting, that you were clearly pining over him, that he seemed uncomfortable in the pictures where you were caught running towards him and hugging him, that he had a great life without you and that this was all some sort of a plan of yours to get more attention using a guy who had just been through a traumatic event.

The comments were nasty and hateful, but you knew that none of those people knew the truth, so the hate didn’t get to you. Who cared about the opinion of strangers who didn’t know you personally? The only issue you’ve had was when these people would feel invited to walk up to you in public or shout at you from across the street, letting you know Jungkook was too good for you. The whole thing was idiotic and you wished it would end.

Just when you thought the whole thing was dying down, a news outlet decided to post a timeline of your “relationship”—which was ridiculous considering there was no relationship, to begin with. They posted pictures of the two of you at the same event in Berlin, then of you at their opening night concert, then of you going backstage to see the band, none of which proved that something was going on, but they didn’t need proof. They just needed pictures of you two at the same event, and the story wrote itself. Those who wanted to believe in it would find a way.

Once they realized you came from the same region, everyone had a field day with it, and you began to see interviews starring your old classmates or people who you partied with once or twice who all had their opinions on this. There was a man you’d never seen before who was claiming he remembered seeing you and Jungkook on a night out back in school, which was a complete lie. The whole thing made you lose faith in people even more, and you wanted nothing to do with social media again.

After two weeks, you decided to leave LA and go home since your phone didn’t stop ringing ever since you’d turned it on, and it was all becoming unbearable. It was time for you to go home, see your friends and family, and try to forget about the life of a celebrity you led while you were away. You weren’t sure where Jungkook was, but you hoped he wasn’t back home right then. If he were, you going there would create more drama for everyone involved and that was the last thing you wanted.

The day you landed home was the day a news outlet reported on a theory that you were the person Jungkook was talking about in that interview with Donna, the person he said he could talk to. There were many theories on that, people started to compare it with the timeline, and the fact that Jungkook said the song How Can I Leave You was written during a sleepless night after losing someone wasn’t helping your case at all.

While the media didn’t care about your wishes, Jungkook respected them and hadn’t contacted you since the afterparty. After the night at the hospital, a part of you hoped he would get in touch, but he stayed true to his word this one time. Then, the afterparty happened, and you knew you’d never hear from him again. There was no way he’d get his act straight, even though that was something he desperately needed.

Even that kind of annoyed you. The fact that he could keep his word when it came to not contacting you but not when it came to staying clean was ridiculous. Did he really suck this much at picking his battles? Or did he simply not give enough of a fuck to put in some effort?

Alexa and Jon, your two best friends, wanted to know all about Jungkook and, at first, you just brushed the whole thing off as an exaggeration that got way out of hand. In the end, you told them about the summer and your feelings for Jungkook, leaving out the part about his feelings for you—that was supposed to stay private.

While you wanted nothing more than to share the whole story with someone and get their take on it, get some sort of advice and find comfort in it, you had to respect Jungkook’s privacy. The things you told each other were said in the privacy of the pavilion and were meant for one pair of ears only.

Besides, it wouldn’t feel right to share his deepest thoughts and fears with others, so you only shared yours with the two people closest to you, who seemed to understand, even though they couldn’t offer any help.

Jon was of the mindset that you should give it a go if you thought that Jungkook felt the same. “From what you’re saying, you had a great time together. The way I see it, you’re pushing this dude out of your life for nothing and it see—”

“It’s not for nothing if he’s using,” Alexa interrupted him and looked at Jon like he was completely wrong. “You know that’s a huge problem for a lot of people in this town. And he’s on a different level. He can get his hands on anything out there whenever he wants to, and he seems to be doing so, according to every article ever posted about this guy. I get where she’s coming from.”

“I get her too,” Jon spread his arms out and looked at you and then back at Alexa like you were just not getting him. “But it’s not like he’s an addict. You two seem to think that people are either addicts or don’t use anything ever, and the world’s not that black and white. He’s a poster child for recklessness, I’ll give you that, but his life would be a lot messier if he were a real addict. He wouldn’t have been able to stay clean all summer like you said he did,” he cocked both eyebrows up and grinned at you, clearly thinking he made an excellent point there. “It sounds like I’m shoving this guy in your face, but I just feel that you had some kind of a connection with him, which we don’t hear from you often. In fact, I can’t remember if you’d ever had this kind of a thing for someone.”

“Fair enough,” Alexa agreed, though she didn’t sound convinced. “Maybe he’s not an addict in the real sense of the word, but if he feels the need to use often and chooses that over this agreement, I don’t think it can work. You can have a connection with someone who’s not right for you. We’ve all been there and done that, I think.”

It felt like you weren’t even there and you were just watching your friends have a conversation from behind a screen. It seemed surreal to have the two of them picking things apart and commenting on them when they only knew your side of the story. They both made good points, but only you knew the real situation, only you saw Jungkook as the vulnerable man he actually was beneath the mask he showed the entire world, and only you witnessed his breakdown that night, a breakdown caused by his inability to get clean.

“I think we all do the same. Didn’t our friend here,” Jon shot you a glance before continuing, “use to go out and get drunk when she felt down? If I remember correctly, we all spent most of our late teens and early adult years that way. People have different coping mechanisms. I’m not defending him, but the lives of people like him and our lives have to differ in every single aspect,” Jon pointed out, which you appreciated. “Just last month, you heard that Becca was spreading rumors about you back in school and you got pissed off and talked my ear off about it. Now imagine that scenario, but replace Becca with reporters and people who have no idea who you even are. They’re scrutinized every single day. I mean, this dude’s been talked about ever since he joined the band. There are people out there who love to see others fail and who hope for it, so all I’m saying is, people have different ways of coping,” he shrugged, finally looking at you, seemingly waiting for a response.

“I think you’re both right. While I don’t think he’s an addict that can’t function without drugs, I think he has a problem—it becomes a problem the second you promise you won’t use, but the need for it gets stronger than that promise,” you sighed, realizing it still hurt to talk about it, but it felt better to get it off your chest. “I just feel like the promise and this whole thing didn’t matter much if weed was more important. We were this close to getting it to work and then it was all gone,” you shook your head, the frustration coming out. “Over fucking weed. Maybe Jon’s right. The point of this is not that he’s an addict, but that he values these substances more than he does whatever it is that’s going on with us.”

“But he admitted it,” Jon said, seemingly confused. “I think he values you a lot more than you think. I have a feeling we didn’t get to hear the whole story, but I get it, he’s famous, you’re close, you can’t share all the details. Still, he told you he wouldn’t use and he didn’t use any real drugs. From what I know, weed is legal in LA, so it’s not that big of a deal. Besides, you would have never found out had he not told you, so you have to give him some credit there.”

“While I do hate to agree with Jon over this, I kind of have to, but only on the point that he actually cares about you,” Alexa joined in, smiling at you. “Now, I don’t know him and I’ve never seen you two together, but this whole story… You sounded happy saying it and you’re not the type of person to enter a one-sided thing. There’s no way in hell you would feel this way about some guy who showed no interest in you. No, he was into you, clearly, especially if he promised he’d give up this aspect of his life to get a chance with you. It’s a big deal. But I’m totally on your side when it comes to this, maybe weed is legal and it’s all good, but if he said he’d stay away from it, why do it then? It was a matter of days before you two saw each other. It sounds like he was trying to sabotage himself, especially by telling you.”

“He just can’t lie,” you explained, realizing they couldn’t have known this about him like you did. “I told him I hate lying and that it’s something I can’t forgive. I mean, you guys know my stance on it, so you get it. I think he said it because he’s always been honest, even when it ended up backfiring. Like I’ve said, I just think this thing wasn’t as important as that, and he made a choice.”

The rest of the conversation was basically the same things all over again, with Jon wanting you to take the chance and try to make it work while Alexa tried to be more reasonable and wanted what was safer for you, which was walking away in this case. Like Jungkook, you’d already made your decision and you had to stick by it. If you called him now, it would just show him that you didn’t stand by what you said and that you’d be willing to look past things when it came to him, and that was not a pattern of behavior you wanted to encourage in any kind of relationship.

You had the same conversation with Andre a week later when he came to your hometown to check on you since you rarely checked your phone, mostly because the whole Jungkook thing still hadn’t died down at that point. What was the point of going through text, emails, and notifications when most of them dealt with Puddle of Love in one way or the other?

“They’re gonna drop some sort of a bombshell soon,” Andre informed you on your walk through the forest, as you sipped coffee and enjoyed the sounds of nature and solitude. “Their company, I mean.”

“Why?”

“Jungkook isn’t happy with you two being the main topic,” Andre glanced at you, interested in your reaction to the news, but you tried to keep a straight face, afraid of seeming too interested in someone you’d cut ties with. You wondered why Jungkook felt that way, and Andre sensed your thoughts. “Not because he minds people knowing, but because of all the negativity that gets thrown your way. Don’t like the guy, but I have to admit that’s nice of him. He gets a lot less negativity than you since you’re the one who so wisely rushed into his arms and hugged him.”

“Yeah, yeah, we’ve been over this,” you mumbled, taking another sip of the now lukewarm coffee, not wanting to discuss that night ever again, with anyone. “I fucked up, I wasn’t thinking straight.”

“That’s what he said, too,” Andre cleared his throat as if he had some bad news. “Kijung called me to complain about it since Jungkook informed them all they’d have to make something up since he’s sick and tired of reading all that bullshit about you. Jungkook knows it’s because of him and he feels guilty about it, as he should.”

“He did nothing wrong here. It’s all me. The guy was in the hospital, his phone wasn’t with him, he couldn’t let me know he was okay,” you said, realizing you were explaining yourself, but this was even worse since you were standing up for Jungkook once again. “I don’t want to talk about that night.”

“Okay, okay, I’m not asking you to. I just wanted to let you know that you might read something shocking. Maybe they’ll try to set him up with someone, have him be seen. That seems like the best option. Once he’s seen with someone else, you’re old news,” Andre shrugged and then suddenly stopped walking and turned to face you. “You won’t get hurt by that, will you?”

“Is this your way of letting me know Jungkook is seeing someone? You making this story up so I wouldn’t believe it, or so it wouldn’t hurt me?” You faced him, but the look on Andre’s face told you you were wrong. “Forget it, sorry.”

“I wouldn’t do that,” he sighed and kept walking. “If anything, I would love for him to find someone else since you would then be able to move on. This way, you two keep… Doing whatever it is you’re doing. I don’t get it. You’re not in contact yet you’re not moving on.”

“How would you know that?” You asked, even though he was completely right. You two were no longer in touch, no matter how surreal that sounded.

“Kijung and I gossip about you,” Andre admitted with a shrug as if it wasn’t a big deal. “I’m kidding. It’s not like we can discuss anything about our artists with other people. This is the one thing that we’re both sort of in on. We’re not blind or stupid. We see the way this affected you both. Honestly, Kijung called because he was expecting me to make the demand Jungkook had made, but I didn’t, because you didn’t ask me to. It looks like you have Jungkook watching over you still despite you two not talking. And I know this because he said that to Kijung. After he made this demand in front of the band, Kijung, and other company staff, he was asked to come see Kijung in private where he held a monologue on how this whole thing was affecting you negatively and he wanted to steer attention away from you.”

“That’s… Nice of him,” you nodded, trying to keep up with Andre who never seemed to be able to relax. “Isn’t that a good thing for you? Seeing as you’re freaking out over my image?”

“I’m not freaking out, you’re doing good,” he brushed your comment off. “You lost some fans and gained some haters, but you’ve also gained some new admirers, so it’s not all bad publicity. Besides, even if you two were together, so what? You’re both single adults. I am quite frankly appalled at the things these people are writing about you online. I try not to read it because it gets me riled up, but I can’t believe some people can be that vile and ignorant. When I see that picture of you two, I see two people who are ecstatic and relieved to see each other, and these little girls online are writing essays about the look on his face and how it means he didn’t want you to touch him. Sick!”

You reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder, stopping him from moving. “Hey, Andre, it’s okay… It’s not getting to me,” you told him slowly, so he’d know it was true. You suspected he came to see you to make sure you were alright. “What some strangers say about me doesn’t hurt me as much when it’s about something like this. Not everyone knows what’s happening between us and that’s fine, not everyone should.”

You kept believing that, even when Jungkook was photographed with a younger model who was getting very famous fast thanks to amazing looks and the fact that she was great at what she did. You’d just read about her on the catwalk in Milan, and the next thing you know, she’s leaving a famous restaurant in LA with Jungkook, paparazzi all around them, snapping pictures to earn some money off a new story.

While there were people who bought the story, there were also those who believed this was a company setup made to deter them from the truth about the two of you. The proof of their theory was the fact that Jungkook had never been seen out in public with a woman before, unless it was after a party. Basically, the fans were saying that, if he dated someone, he kept it private. Then, he was seen with you in the hospital by accident, and now he was letting people see him take someone out for dinner to steer the attention away from you.

However, nothing was going on between you two, but nobody could prove that, just like nobody could prove otherwise.

Those who were rooting for you two kept commenting on your posts, asking you how you felt about it, but they also kept spamming the girl’s social media, calling her a homewrecker, and throwing insults at her and Jungkook, all of which was completely uncalled for.

Some were happy that Jungkook chose someone other than you. Of course, some compared your appearance and you definitely weren’t a top model like her. You couldn’t help but notice all the comments about how she was a much better choice for Jungkook since she was a lot more outgoing and fun than you were, which was probably true. Jungkook needed someone fun and exciting, not someone like you who couldn’t even tolerate weed when it seemed the entire world didn’t have a problem with it.

You were beginning to think that the Jungkook you’ve spent the summer with was the person he wanted to be, but the issue was that he wasn’t that person. Who he really was differed greatly from that image of the guy he wanted to be, which is why it would never work. It sounded harsh, but it was the truth. You weren’t the person you wanted to be, either.

The image of you in the media was completely made up, but who you wanted to be wasn’t that person. It was someone who was full of love, compassion, and understanding yet you didn’t really show that to Jungkook. So, you weren’t who you wanted to be either.

The bottom line was you both wanted to be someone you weren’t, even though you tried to convince yourself and each other that you were. It backfired drastically, and there was nothing left. Maybe the comments were starting to get to you, and the not talking to each other thing wasn’t helping.

From what you’ve heard, the girl was actually going to be in one of their music videos, which is why she was the person they chose for this, according to the theories out there. The guys didn’t make any videos before going on tour, which was their style completely—always against the grain.

Social and business rules implied that they should release an album and music videos, make TV appearances, and then go on tour? No, they’d do it the other way around, they’d sell out world tours without doing any of that, just to prove that they can, and then they’d make music videos to boost their popularity even more. You weren’t sure if you wanted to watch them, but somehow, you knew you’d cave in sooner or later.

Once the girl was seen as a setup by the company to promote the music video, Jungkook was caught leaving parties with different girls, seemingly high and lost. It hurt seeing him like that, mostly because you knew he wasn’t happy. Nobody who acted like that was truly happy and you wished everyone in that situation would reach out and get help instead of drowning their worries in alcohol and drugs, which only made them seem scarier.

It seemed like all he did was go out, get drunk and/or high, and be seen since he was always on your feed when you logged in—always with a group of strangers with him, which you were sure were his friends for the night so he wouldn’t have to be alone. There was always a smug smile on Jungkook’s face, he was often chuckling and joking with reporters with a cigarette in his mouth, grinning with sadness in his eyes.

It hurt to watch him self-destruct, which was what he was doing, but there wasn’t much you could do to help. He’d let you down and you couldn’t call him to offer help. You’d only make things worse that way if this was all caused by you canceling your plans. The thing was, you couldn’t meet up with him or continue talking to him, so all he could get was a call to make sure he was alright, and that wouldn’t have done anything.

When asked about you, which was something he couldn’t avoid even months after that night, Jungkook would say he wouldn’t like to drag you into this and that they should ask another question, never letting them see a hint of anger or hurt behind those words, maybe because he didn’t feel any.

When asked about his dating life, Jungkook would say he’s still single, or that he has to live through stuff to get material for the new album, or something as elusive as that.

There weren’t any incidents as such, so the company didn’t react, but you were sure Kijung wasn’t exactly thrilled about Jungkook being seen out and about every night, clearly on something.

At a certain point, you became surprised if you didn’t see his face when you opened one of your social media apps.

Before you knew it, it was time for you to go back to LA to try to work on some new music with Red Peaches, who wanted to collaborate with you, which made Andre ecstatic.

You said goodbye to your close friends and those who had a similar lifestyle to Jungkook’s, and your reaction to them was the same as the one to him. You felt sorry for them, not because you thought you were better than them or that you had all the answers, but because it seemed like they knew they were wasting their lives away, always hanging out at the same spot near the sea, drinking and getting high, joking about where they were in life, none of them truly happy.

Every day was the same, and there was no end in sight to the monotony of their days. It filled you with sadness to see them, to talk to them, to realize they were struggling but couldn’t admit it.

That’s why the news of Jungkook ending up in rehab actually made you feel better instead of worrying you. It was something that was bound to happen and you were happy it happened before some kind of tragedy struck him. Jungkook was all over the news since someone got the word out that he was admitted to an inpatient 30-day program at a rehab center—he was out of the news for a couple of days, and everyone suspected something was wrong, they just didn’t know what.

The company released a vague statement about Jungkook being in a rehabilitation facility and thanked everyone for their support for their artist in this troubling time of his life. The band members made posts in support of Jungkook and wished him luck, but he didn’t have his phone with him there, so you were sure he wouldn’t see any of it.

Andre told you that it seemed like he’d hit rock bottom and that Kijung took him to this center as a wake-up call—it was either that or leaving the band, which you knew was one of Jungkook’s worst fears. Kijung chose a program that would make Jungkook cut ties with everyone for 30 days. Of course, other than Kijung, who’d be allowed to visit him. There were no phones, no computers, no internet, no TV, no music—just therapy and self-reflecting.

It sounded painful, but like something that would do Jungkook good. For all you knew, the last time he discussed his feelings was last summer, and that was a year ago. Keeping feelings bottled up for a year would do anyone in, especially when they were so complex.

During his stay there, there wasn't any major news on him other than the typical dramatic headlines such as “Jungkook’s broken heart leads him to rehab”, “Sexcapading leads to sobriety: Jungkook’s fall from grace” and the like. You wondered if people who went to school to be reporters felt embarrassed about writing titles and articles like that, full of speculation, riddled with insults throughout, picking apart someone’s private life.

There were news outlets that reached out to you for a statement, but you turned them down since you didn’t see how your opinion on it mattered. You did, however, text Jungkook despite knowing better. He clearly didn’t need your help, he hadn’t contacted you since that night, and that was for the better.

Still, no matter what happened, you felt close to him. Maybe you’d never even get to talk to him in person anymore, but that didn’t change the fact that you’d spent a summer with him and got to meet another person on a different level than anyone before. You knew Jungkook, no matter what. The things he told you weren’t something he spoke about to anyone, so you two shared something real, even if it happened a year ago.

Maybe your support wouldn’t mean anything to him now, but you had to tell him you were there for him. It was a huge moment in his life and you hoped the rehab would work and he wouldn’t go back to his old ways as soon as he got out.

You: i’ve heard about rehab and, even though it’s hard, i hope you won’t quit. you can do this! good luck!

It wasn’t a sweet text, it wasn’t you trying to start talking to him again or anything like that—it was just you showing your support in this thing that was much bigger than Jungkook. You knew he wouldn’t be able to see it until he left the place, but it didn’t matter. The thought was there.

This is what Hoseok wants, it’s his wildest fantasy, deepest desire. A man who always has everything under control—including you—wants to see you be someone else’s, for his eyes only. It’s not a need you understand completely, but you don’t have to understand something to accept it.

Hoseok has told you about this wish of his quite a while ago and, at that point in time, you weren’t even remotely ready to delve into something like that. But, it’s been years since then, and fulfilling this desire seemed like a perfect gift, something that shows your love and devotion. If he doesn’t mind, why should you?

Since Hoseok is always so put together, neat, tidy—pristine, even—you chose someone who looked and seemed to be the exact opposite of your polished boyfriend.

Hoseok’s daily attire, suit pants and button-up, were in sharp contrast with the hunky man’s loose-fitting white t-shirt, pierced eyebrow, lip, and ears, and tattooed arms, which is what first caught your eye when House of Lust’s manager, Jimin, offered you a look into their services. The establishment was famous for its top-quality service and complete confidentiality. What happened in House of Lust stayed there, and you were sure Hoseok wouldn’t want anyone finding out about this kink of his.

Even though you know people who’ve used the services there, you don’t know the details, and you haven’t really asked. Jimin explained everything they had to offer, and you couldn’t even take in half of it: in-person service, calls, chatting, video call services, gloryholes, one-on-one, or group meetings… You name it, House of Lust offers it—and they do it well. Every single man you’ve seen at that place reeked of confidence and a promise of a good time.

Jimin, the manager, pointed out a couple of possible people for the job you’d described, and the man who’s currently naked in front of you is the one that caught your eye in an instant. The candidate’s hair was almost curly, falling over his eyes in messy strands as he cocked his head to the side and smirked shamelessly, and you instantly knew he was the one for the job. The smirk told you the man would be a lot of fun.

When you first contacted Jimin for a meeting, you did feel embarrassed. After all, your request was strange, some would even say perverted. You don’t even know how you got the words out with a straight face, but his reaction reassured you instantly. Jimin asked you more questions about Hoseok and this wish of his and then proceeded to offer a couple of his best men for the role, not making a big deal out of it.

“It’s important that there’s some kind of attraction between you and the man if you want to do this right,” Jimin explained with a smirk, sounding very reassuring and like he knew exactly what he was doing. His tone of voice and demeanor told you he was experienced in this industry, and for a second, you wondered if Jimin himself would be up for the job. “Based on what you told me, your boyfriend wants to see you enjoy it. He wants to be in the room, but not be a part of it. Get off while you’re enjoying yourself with another man. He doesn’t want to touch the other person or have them touch him—it’s all about possession, right? He wants you to demean him by sleeping with someone else and loving it, and then he wants to show you whom you belong to.”

That’s exactly what your boyfriend wished for, and also the reason behind you choosing Jeon Jungkook, the curly-haired man Jimin introduced you to as a potential candidate. As soon as you shook his hand, you knew he’d be perfect for the role—the exact opposite of your boyfriend.

And you were right, you think to yourself ten minutes into the night as you watch Hoseok gawk at you with his mouth open, clearly loving the way Jungkook’s talking to you, about you. The truth is, you’re turned on too, a lot more than you thought you would be by this.

When you decided to go to House of Lust for the first time, you saw it as a present for Hoseok, a sacrifice you were making for him, something you’re putting yourself through for the man of your dreams. However, now that Jungkook’s hands are on you, it doesn’t seem like a sacrifice at all. The man is attractive, clearly, and there’s an aura of confidence around him that just has you staring at his face, unable to peel your eyes from his figure.

Your boyfriend is seated on a sofa in the corner, watching your every move, enjoying the way Jungkook’s touching you as you two kiss at the foot of the bed, to Hoseok’s right, both naked. Before tonight, you’ve had a chat with Jungkook to discuss all the details (as per House of Lust’s rules), so you knew kissing would be on the table. But, this is his job, so you thought kissing wouldn’t be as good as it usually is nor as passionate.

Jungkook seems to be great at what he does because he kisses you like he means it—slowly at first, taking his time to get you to relax before his tongue finds its way into your mouth. When that happens, things take a turn for the worse in the best sense of the word. You moan almost instantly as his body presses into yours, allowing you to feel just how firm it is. The man’s hand is wrapped around your waist, the other one is keeping your chin in place while Jungkook kisses you, tongue exploring your mouth.

The kiss is wet and loud, sloppy, the opposite of the energetic kisses you get from your boyfriend, who usually bites you when he kisses you, teases you by moving away, making you chase after him. Hoseok always wants you needy, he wants to drive you crazy, to the point of begging. Jungkook does none of that—he’s letting you have it all right away, and that has its charms, you have to admit. While you’re making out like horny teenagers, his hands grab your asscheeks, squeeze them, grope them, knead them like he’s never touched anyone before, like he’s trying to explore your body and remember it.

It gets you wet, this need of his to run his hands down your ass, between your legs, and then drag them back up, repeating the movement rhythmically, slowly, each time getting closer to your pussy. Just when you think Jungkook is going to touch it, he pulls his hands up your ass, nails dragging across your skin. They quickly go back, making their way down between your legs, touching all around, repeating the motion over and over again until he finally dips his fingers into your pussy from behind. This motion makes you moan into his mouth, back arching instinctively, giving him better access to your sopping core.

“Wet already?” the man chuckles into the kiss and eases two fingers into you fully while moving his other hand to your front. The second it touches your clit, you grunt, your entire body shuddering at the intensity of his touch now that he’s finally got you where he wants you.

With a smirk, Jungkook turns to face your boyfriend, taunting him with a cocky tone, “You’re really not fucking her right. A man gives her a kiss here, a touch there, and she’s already dripping. Work on that.”

Hoseok hisses at Jungkook’s words but doesn’t say a single thing, as agreed. He’s just there to watch and admire, enjoy the way you’re giving yourself to this stranger, like getting demeaned like that. Of course, you’ve established the word that will make it all stop. Either one of you three says it, and you’re stopping. But, somehow, you already know nobody will use it today.

When you get used to Jungkook’s touch, you sneak a glance at Hoseok just to find him palming himself over his trousers, bottom lip sucked into his mouth, a feral look on his face. Your gaze falls to the tent in his pants that tells you just how much he’s enjoying the scene. Oh, you’re getting yours once this little show with Jungkook is over, your boyfriend will make sure of that.

“Are you always this fucking needy?” Jungkook chuckles and moves away from your mouth just so he can attach his lips to your neck and attack, sucking the skin into his mouth to get you to whine even more as his fingers start pistoning into you. Fuck. It’s your favorite thing, having someone go so hard and fast on you that you can’t take a proper breath, let alone talk back.

He knows it too, you can tell by the low chuckle against your skin and the way Jungkook continues rubbing your clit in circles. “Damn, you really need a good fuck. So fucking desperate, eating my fingers up… What a needy cunt you have and no one to pound it hard… Shame.”

His fingers hit that spot inside of you just right, with a lot of precision and so fast you’re already clenching around him. Jungkook catches you at your weakest, completely unprepared for it, and you come around his fingers loudly, eyes wide, mouth open in shock as an intense, short orgasm rips through you. You’re not sure where it came from or how he managed to get you to release that quickly, but you aren’t going to question it.

“Oh my God, oh my God,” you whine and dig your fingers into Jungkook’s biceps, completely taken aback by your body’s reaction, thankful you can hold onto him. “Fuck, fuck, Jungko—fuck!”

Your gaze meets your boyfriend’s as that happens, and Hoseok seems just as surprised. After all, he’s the guy who can make you come the fastest, he’s the one who knows every nook and cranny of your body, every curve and dip, every inch of your tight cunt—and yet this total stranger cracked the code by just shoving his fingers into you at an admirable pace.

Jungkook kicks his head back and laughs, getting cocky with the fact that he’s already cracked you. “That easy? I don’t even have to try tonight. You’ll thank me for just putting it in.”

He sounds full of himself and that just makes your knees shake. If he does this without trying, you can’t even imagine what he’ll do to you later if he decides to put real effort into it. Jungkook’s hand eases out of your cunt gently, and then he moves it up to your face.

“Open,” he gives a simple order that you immediately follow, and his fingers are laid flat on your tongue. “Suck.”

You proceed to suck your own juices off Jungkook’s fingers, moaning against them because his other hand is still teasing your clit, giving it a rub, and then stopping when you flinch, too sensitive for that type of touch right away. You don’t mind tasting yourself—Hoseok loves it when you suck him off after he fucks you, he gets off on knowing he’s making you taste yourself on him as you lick and suck, before you taste his cum too.

“Good fucking girl,” Jungkook hums after the compliment, giving your pussy a loud smack, one that makes you clench all your muscles. “At least he taught you one thing right.”

Your walls contract around nothing at Jungkook’s words, still not believing Hoseok is letting someone talk to him or about him that way. He’s right there in the room with you, but he’s just lounging around, stroking himself over his pants while he enjoys the show. If you ever told him anything similar to what Jungkook was saying, your boyfriend would fuck you into tomorrow, not letting you catch a break just to show you he fucks you best, just to shut your mouth up. Yet, here he is, letting Jungkook get away with it all.

“Fuck,” is all that leaves your mouth as Jungkook’s hand moves down from your mouth to pinch one and then the other nipple, getting you to shiver.

“Let’s do this right, huh?” the stranger cocks his head to the side with a grin and lets go of you. The sudden loss of the warmth of his body around you and his hands on you makes you wince, but not for long. Jungkook plops down on the bed on his back, positioning himself against the cushions in a way that lets him sit back and relax.

Then, he intertwines his fingers and moves them behind his head, knees spread wide, cock hard for you. The sight is more than arousing, you have to admit that much. Jungkook’s perfect from head to toe—chiseled, clean, smooth, tattooed, muscles defined, everything so big, giving you the biggest urge to grab him all over.“Come.”

You don’t have to be told twice, not when you’re doing it all for Hoseok, who’s watching you from the side like you’re his prey, eyes narrowed as he inspects your every movement. You can’t help but wonder what’s going through that pretty head of his, what kind of dirty thoughts are rummaging through it, but you won’t know—not yet, at least. You get on the bed and crawl up Jungkook’s body until your hips are positioned right above his, both of you naked and ready.

“Sit on it,” he instructs but tsks at you as soon as you reach for his cock to position it at your entrance. “Nu-uh… Like this.”

With a silent nod, you gulp and position yourself on Jungkook’s dick, which is still lying across his stomach, hard and ready for you. You can feel it between your labia, getting coated with your juices, pulsating with desire. It’s arousing, sitting on another man, his thick dick between your legs, but not in you, his eyes piercing through you while your boyfriend watches from the sidelines and enjoys your every move.

“Now, move,” Jungkook orders with a grin, fingers still intertwined behind his head as he watches you sit on his cock. Since he’s propped up on some pillows, he has a great view of both you and Hoseok, which is exactly what he needs for this game to continue. Right now, Jungkook doesn’t need you and Hoseok to make eye contact—he needs to be the one who looks at your boyfriend while he orders you around. “That’s right, I want your cunt to wet all of it…”

His words spark a fire inside of you, so you drag your slit across his length until your clit rubs against the very tip and you whine, moving your hips back down. You repeat that same movement a couple of times, adjusting to the feeling—it’s not exactly something you do with Hoseok. Is that what Jungkook’s going for, getting you to do something new while your boyfriend watches, getting to break you in? It makes sense, if that’s his goal. Isn’t that the ultimate desecration, getting to have what your boyfriend doesn’t, right in front of his eyes?

“Mhm,” Jungkook hums in approval as you continue to move up and down his cock, drooling all over it. You can’t help but notice that his eyes are fixated on your body, taking every inch of it slowly. “Just like that.”

Then, you realize you’re not providing enough friction for either of you, so you place both hands on Jungkook’s chest and start moving your hips like you’re riding him. Well, you are, but not in the usual sense of the word, with a dick in you.

Still, having your clit rub against his hard cock while you move up and down his length feels amazing, and the hiss Jungkook lets out tell you it’s making him feel good too. “Oh, someone’s getting needy,” he recovers by throwing the ball in your court and making you seem desperate, which you kind of are.

You can’t see Hoseok, but you can hear him breathing and you can feel his strong presence, the scent of his cologne reminding you he’s there even though he’s out of your field of view. The thought comforts you, but also makes you remember you’re here because of him, which means you should be doing everything you can to live out his fantasy, which is to see you fuck another man and enjoy it, act like it’s the best thing you’ve ever tired.

So, without giving it a second thought, you lean in even further and start dragging your wet slit across Jungkook’s cock even faster, making loud sounds this time, moaning, grunting, whining—anything you can do to get Hoseok excited.

“Want to feel it, huh?” Jungkook kicks his head back even more, letting it sink into the propped-up pillows, shooting a glance at Hoseok. “Your girl is so fucking needy for some good cock… It’s embarrassing, really. She just needs a real man to give it to her right. She got me all wet with her pussy and I barely touched her.”

You don’t say a word to that because it is true. This entire situation is such a turn-on for you, and your pussy is dripping at this point. Jungkook is a gorgeous man from head to toe and his charisma really does wonder for him too, but the man you really want is on that chair with his eyes glued to you sliding across another man’s dick, and he loves it—that’s what got you this wet.

“And you,” Jungkook’s attention is suddenly turned to you now, which makes you look into his eyes instead of the tip of his cock that’s peeking between your legs, “ride it for real now. Let me see what he taught you.”

You don’t need to be told twice, not when he’s asking in a way that has your pussy clenching around nothing. Your fingers wrap around the thick cock and hold it upright while you lift yourself up and position it at your entrance. Slowly, you sink onto Jungkook’s cock, the stretch causing your eyes to roll back and a grunt to leave your mouth. Jungkook moans too, and you can swear you hear some sort of a sound coming from your boyfriend. Sadly, you can’t see him, but you hope he’s enjoying all of it.

The second you get adjusted to the delicious feeling of having an unfamiliar cock inside of you—thick and veiny, heavy even—you start rolling your hips into him, allowing Jungkook to feel your walls move around him with every slow movement.

“Ah, that’s right,” he shifts slightly, hands still behind his head, thighs spread like he’s here to enjoy the sight of you riding his cock, which, technically, he is. “Ride it just like that… Show him how much you like fucking someone else. Maybe he’ll start to put in some effort to please you if he hears you scream for another guy’s cock.”

You grunt at Jungkook’s words, feeling dirty because of them, but in a way that doesn’t feel… bad. The fact that you can hear Hoseok fumbling with his zipper and clothes calms you down and reassures you—your boyfriend is enjoying this, too.

“Is that all you can do?” Jungkook’s tone is derisive as a playful smirk drags across his lips, but you’re not offended. No, it’s a challenge now, and you want nothing more than to wipe that smug grin off this man’s face.

So, you start riding him for real, the way you ride Hoseok, hips bucking into him hard and fast, pussy swallowing his cock whole, coating it with your juices, hands gripping the sheets next to his sides for support. You keep doing it for as long as you can, your body feeling like it’s on fire because of the sheer size of Jungkook’s cock, paired with how hard it feels inside of you, rubbing against your walls with every quick push of your hips forward.

“Mhmm,” he moans sweetly, and you’re happy that he’s finally reacting in some way other than being smug. “You take cock like a real slut.”

“Yes,” you agree with a moan, and Hoseok grunts behind you, so you throw him a look over your shoulder and find him with his mouth open and his pretty hand wrapped around his cock, jerking it slowly. “I always take his cock well.”

“I bet you do,” Jungkook agrees with a chuckle, but he still looks cocky about the whole thing. “He loves watching you take it, too. Gets all hard seeing you act like a slut for other men.”

The more you move, the more Jungkook’s expression changes from confident to excited, and you love seeing it. You can also hear Hoseok spitting, which means he’s probably getting his hand wet so he can feel even more, and that motivates you to change your pace. Instead of rolling back and forth, you use your knees to lift your hips and smack them back down on Jungkook, which he seems to like, judging by the way his body cramps when you do it.

He’s looking at Hoseok over your shoulder, smirking before looking back at you, finally unclasping his hands and moving them to your front just to pinch both your nipples at the same time, earning a loud whine from you.

“You look so fucking good riding cock,” he decides to inform you softly, rubbing your nipples between his fingertips. “Such a good slut for your boyfriend, huh?” With that, he smacks both your breasts, hard enough for you to let out a loud moan, wanting more. “Let him do whatever he wants? And now you’re getting to do what you want.”

“Mhm,” you hum in agreement, even though that isn’t true, and you both know it—you’re doing this for Hoseok, and for Hoseok only. The fact that you’re enjoying it is just a happy coincidence. “Fucking you for him.”

“That’s because he can’t fuck you right,” Jungkook chuckles as he tells you, his hands flying to your ass cheeks so he can grab them while you continue to slam your hips into his from above, allowing him to enter you all the way time and time again, filling you completely. You’ll be so fucking sore tomorrow, you can already tell, but it’s worth it. “Which is why he’s letting me ruin you with my dick. Wants to watch how a real man fucks you and makes you come…”

Hoseok hums to this, to your surprise, and Jungkook just smirks at you. “See? He likes sharing his little cockslut with other men… Knows he can’t give it to you right and we can. So, whenever you feel like you want a man to satisfy you, call me. You know where to find me.”

You’re never going to call Jungkook again, not unless Hoseok insists, but the thought of it makes you go feral, so you start fucking him so hard the entire bed moves. Your hands grab his shoulders so you can use his body for support as you move your hips fast, and his chuckle dies in his throat as soon as you start. A minute in, he’s chuckling lightly in between moans, his curls starting to stick to the sweat on the sides of his face, making him look almost angelic.

“What a needy slut! Look at you riding my dick like it’s the only one you’ve had,” he grunts, hands still on your ass, smacking both cheeks harshly. “Is that all your pussy can do?”

“No,” you hiss at him, angry that he doesn’t think it’s enough when you’re already losing it, feeling sweaty and fucked out, your pussy wet, contracting around him, walls luring him in. Despite all of that, you start jumping up and down even faster, kicking your head back as you ride Jungkook, moaning his name over and over again.

It’s Hoseok’s name you want to moan, of course, but it’s not a part of what tonight’s all about. You can’t show you want your boyfriend— you should be acting like all you want is the man under you, this perfect male specimen who got you to come around his fingers in less than a minute, this dude with a thick and hard cock that can seemingly go for hours without tiring.

“Looks like I’ll have to do it all by myself,” Jungkook chuckles and his hand flies to your throat, fingers expertly wrapping around it and lightly squeezing. “But that’s what I’m here for, right? Ruin that tight cunt.”

“Fuck yes,” you nod at his words, and he pulls you in until you’re lying on top of him, your mouth next to his.

Jungkook kisses you, and it’s once again sloppy and wet, needy even, as his tongue pushes inside your mouth and circles your own. His hands fly down to your ass, holding it as his hips move up, away from the bed, feet pushing into the mattress. “Your girl really needs some good dick in her life… She’d talk back less if you fucked her brains out every once in a while.”

God, Jungkook doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about—he’s never seen Hoseok in his full power, making you kneel naked, hands tied behind your back, unable to touch him until you beg and cry for his cock. You’re sure even Jungkook would enjoy the sight of your boyfriend fucking your throat. After all, he’s trained you so hard for it that you can now take dick so well.

Jungkook’s also never seen how determined Hoseok can get when he wants to ruin you, how precisely he can hit that spot and rub your clit, getting you to squirt all over him until you start getting dizzy. If he knew about any of that, Jungkook wouldn’t ever say anything along those lines, but he doesn't. He's just here for the night, to fulfill this fantasy.

“Now you’ll see what a real good fuck it,” he chuckles in a way that sends shivers down your spine. With that, Jungkook starts pumping himself into you from below, each thrust allowing him to enter you even more, fully, filling you up completely. All you can do at that point is cry out his name and hold onto him, your head falling into the crook of his neck.

Your body relaxes, making it easier for Jungkook to manhandle you, pull you in closer while his hips continue to snap up at you, going faster and faster until you can’t think straight or say a single word. All that’s leaving your mouth are cries—hey can’t even be called moans anymore. They’re incoherent sobs, your voice straining as pleasure threatens to burst from the pit of your stomach again.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you mumble into his neck, feeling the tip of his cock sending you over the edge again. As your orgasm rushes through you, making your entire body clench, you cry out, fingers digging into his skin. Jungkook doesn’t slow down. Instead, he keeps pumping himself into you, clearly enjoying the way your walls close in on him.

His movements just make you moan louder, and your boyfriend’s name slips out of your mouth—body overflowing with desire to feel him, make him happy—and this little slip-up makes Jungkook slow his movements down and chuckle. “Don’t forget what you’re here for,” he whispers softly, reminding you that you shouldn’t be calling for Hobi now. He is right, that’s not a part of your boyfriend’s fantasy.

“Damn, she’s easy to satisfy,” he sounds a lot more confident when he talks to Hoseok over your shoulder. “You just have to go fast and she’s coming like crazy… Guess she really needed a good dicking down.”

Hoseok hisses but doesn’t say anything, keen on letting it all play out without his interference. But, you can hear his hand moving around his cock, not too fast, but just enough to give him some friction, to ease some of the tension that must have built up by now. When you finally open your eyes and take a deep breath, you sneak a glance over your shoulder to look at your boyfriend and are more than surprised to see that he has already come—all over himself.

Seeing his pants and fist covered with cum as he keeps fisting himself does something to you, something you can’t really explain, so you sit up again and start rolling your hips into Jungkook without a warning, eyes digging into Hoseok’s over your shoulder. Knowing that he was able to come just seeing you have sex with someone awakes a new wave of arousal in you, and you decide to let it all go.

“Can’t get enough?” Jungkook chuckles, smacking your tit lightly before sitting up and taking it in his mouth, suckling it, teeth grazing against the sensitive skin. Suddenly, you’re in his arms, heels pushing into the mattress next to his ass so you can move your hips and cause friction between you two as Jungkook plays with your tits.

“He loves it too much,” you admit, still looking at your boyfriend. He’s so fucking hard and horny, you can see it from all the way over there on the bed. Hoseok came, but he’s still touching himself to the sight of another man’s cock in you. “He can’t get enough of it… Loves watching you fuck me and use me as you please while he can just sit there and take it.”

What was the thing that threw Hoseok over the edge? Was it seeing you come because of another man’s cock? Was it Jungkook’s demeaning words and the way he spoke to your boyfriend? Whatever it was, it made Hoseok feel that good, and you are grateful. That’s exactly why you wanted to come to House of Lust and give him this experience.

So, your hands fly to the younger man’s neck, wrapping around it, thumbs lifting his jaw up so you could kiss him. This time, you’re taking the lead with the kiss and it’s once again wet and sloppy, all you can feel is tongues playing with one another, accompanied by loud moans. “Yeah, ride my dick like that,” Jungkook grunts into the kiss, hands moving down to grope your ass. “Be a good slut for me and take all of it, just like that… Show him how you ride a dick when it fills you up just right.”

His legs are now spread and hands are keeping your cheeks spread too, so Hoseok can get a good look at your cunt getting stuffed with another man’s big cock. It’s a wet mess down there, you feel it, you just know your juices are dripping down Jungkook’s balls, making a mess out of him and the sheets below. But, you don’t mind it, not at all. Quite the opposite, you’re hoping Hoseok can see your excitement.

“What a good fucking slut,” Jungkook mumbles as his fingers dig deeper into the flesh of your ass. “You really want me to fill you up real good.”

“Fuck yes, give it to me,” you moan in return, starting to use your knees to move up and down his thick cock, loving the way your contact with Jungkook is setting your skin on fire, or so it feels like. You’re hot and sweaty, skin damp, especially where it’s touching his, but it just turns you on more. “Stuff me full of cum, Jungkook, let him see it.”

“Dirty,” Jungkook chuckles at the idea and smacks your asscheek hard, so hard you grunt and speed up. “Such a nasty slut too, huh?” With that, he looks at your boyfriend over your shoulder. “Wants other men’s cum… Bet you’re going to save it for him, let him fuck you and see that another man’s used your cunt like a fleshlight, just in and out fast until he came, huh?”

God, the mouth on Jungkook is astonishingly dirty, and you’re enjoying every second of it. The best part of it all is that it seems he is enjoying it too. The biggest fear you’ve had here is that the third party would seem completely uninterested, that it would all seem fake, that Hoseok wouldn’t be able to get into it, but you’ve chosen the perfect man for the occasion.

“Yeah, I want him to feel it in me,” you admit and play along. You did want that, mostly because you know it will drive him crazy to feel the remnants of another man’s excitement deep between your walls. “To know you had me before he did.”

“Oh, he’ll know. He’ll feel how stretched you are after riding my cock, trust me,” he chuckles, spanking your ass again. “Let’s show him how nasty you are, huh?”

“Let’s,” you nodded in agreement, wondering which one of the things you agreed to would Jungkook go for. You ticked off at least 15 boxes, but under the agreement that not all of them had to be done tonight. They were just guidelines so Jungkook would know what he can and can’t do with you.

“On your knees,” Jungkook orders you, and you instantly move away from him, letting his hard cock fall out of you and land on his stomach with a loud, wet slap. “No, no, turn your ass to him.”

You do as ordered, kneeling next to the edge of the bed, right in front of Jungkook, while your back is turned to Hoseok who’s sitting so close to you. While you’re getting in position, you notice how hard your boyfriend still is, a white-knuckled grip around his cock stopping him from coming again. If he stands up and takes a step or two, he could slip right into you from behind.

Jungkook scoots to the edge of the bed, placing his feet on the floor, his crotch practically in your face—a sight you find mouthwatering. Tangling his fingers in your hair, he grins and orders, “Now suck.”

Once again, you obey him and wrap your mouth around the tip, letting your tongue wet it, even if it’s already coated with your juices. Then, you start bobbing your head against his length, wanting to take more of his cock in with each move of your head, which makes Jungkook grunt at you.

His head snaps in Hoseok’s direction again as he decides to taunt your boyfriend once more. “You taught your little slut well,” Jungkook chuckles, grabbing your hair and pushing your head into his crotch, which gets you to choke on his cock as it enters your throat without a warning.

Then, Jungkook pulls your head away and pushes it forward again, letting you get used to the feeling of your throat being used as a hole for his cock, nothing more. “Yeah, like that… Take all of it, want to feel your tongue on my balls.”

Your eyes water more and more with every thrust, and soon enough, tears are streaming down your face, but you can take it. This is no news to you—Hoseok fucks your throat regularly, especially when work gets frustrating and he just wants to get off. You’re no stranger to that or any other type of rough play in the bedroom, which clearly amuses Jungkook, “She takes dick so fucking well. Is she like this for you, too? Or does she just like me a lot?”

He’s so cocky you can’t help but moan. You don’t know this man and you’re never going to see him again, but Jungkook knows how to get you going, how to say words that make you act like the slut he refers to you as, how to push Hoseok’s buttons—and it’s working. You can hear your boyfriend jerking off to the scene in front of him, and you wish you could take him in your pussy while you’re sucking Jungkook off. That would be perfect.

“I think you just can’t get enough of my cock,” Jungkook laughs and licks his lips, looking at you with excitement in his eyes. It is a good cock, you have to agree, thick in all the right places, and since it comes in pair with such a filthy mouth on such a handsome guy, it’s a winner. “Take all of it if you can, let me see it.”

You do as asked once again, allowing him into your throat as much as you can, instantly making a gagging sound and pulling away, thick strings of saliva connecting your open mouth with his thick cock. “Look at you drooling for me…” he laughs, eyes sparkling as they meet yours. “Balls. Suck.”

Jungkook’s firm grasp on your hair still controls your movements, but you do the best you can as you flatten your tongue and move it up and down his balls, getting into it. He smells great and he’s smooth all over. On top of that, he’s clearly enjoying the feeling of your tongue on him, so you close your eyes and lick him the same way you do Hoseok, pushing your head in, opening your mouth wide and only moving your flattened tongue while you moan. It drives Hoseok wild and, judging by the way his hips buck into your face, the way you’re going down on him has the same effect on Jungkook.

“Such a good slut for me,” he compliments you which sparks something in you—you start moving your head up and down, side to side, in circles, as Jungkook just pushes you towards him more, clearly loving the amount of pressure your tongue gives his balls.

Then, you suck one into your mouth, roll your tongue around it, and release, making sure it enters your mouth fully before you push it out and quickly suck the other one in and give it the same treatment. “Ah… Your girlfriend’s fucking great with her tongue. So hungry for it even though she already came twice… Can’t get enough of a good dick, huh?”

You hum and nod before releasing his balls and licking the underside all the way to the tip. You take it into your mouth fully and move away, slowly licking your way down to his balls again. His thighs are clenching, so you grab them, fingers sinking into them instantly, which makes him buck his hips into your face again. “See? Can’t get fucking enough of it,” he chuckles and shoots a glance at Hoseok, but quickly returns his focus to you. “Desperate to please, hm? Anything to get some cock.”

Jungkook seems to be very composed. If it’s just a front he puts on since he’s at work, it’s a good one, but you’re cracking through it slowly—his brows are furrowed, teeth digging into his bottom lip as sweat forms along his forehead and the sides of his face, slow grunts encouraging you to go on. When you switch to the other ball, his grip on you tightens and he seems entranced by the way you play with him.

“More,” he tells you, so you try to get both balls to fit inside your mouth. When they finally do, you run your tongue across them, making Jungkook moan and buck his hips into you. “He’s watching you closely,” Jungkook informs you, eyes now fixated on your boyfriend. “Maybe he’s wondering where’s all this energy when you’re fucking him. You’ll have a lot of explaining to do later.”

You hear Hoseok hiss from behind you, which gets you to start sucking harder, legs spreading even more so your boyfriend can see how wet you’re getting with each dirty word that leaves Jungkook’s mouth. After a while, he grows tired of it and pulls your head away from his crotch. “Now, lick,” he smirks and places both feet on the bed, head pulled in by his strong wrist as your tongue finds his hole.

You have agreed to this beforehand when explaining to Jimin everything that you found appropriate for this session. He gave you the rundown of things and the preparations that go into it, stressing the fact that everyone is clean, neat, and tidy before every session, and that all guests need to get tested for STDs too. You have an IUD, too, which is why no protection is used here tonight. All these requirements just made you believe you’ve made the right choice when selecting House of Lust—there was little risk and a lot of rewards.

Jungkook groans when your tongue meets and circles his tight rim. You’re not gentle at all since he’s clearly into it and wants more, and that’s exactly what you’re there for. At first, you tongue the rim with your very tip, applying some pressure, just enough for Jungkook to feel it, to want more. “Fuck, baby, right there…”

Then, you flatten your tongue and press it against his hole, licking up and down fervently, which gets him to buck his hips into you, his big cock twitching on his stomach. When your tongue starts poking his hole, Jungkook finally lets out a moan—a real one, the type that makes you shiver, wanting to hear more.

“God, your slut’s really great with that tongue,” Jungkook tells Hoseok. The fact that your boyfriend is watching you do something so nasty, something you’ve only ever done with him, makes you get even more excited about the whole thing. You’re sure your pussy is glistening with juices, a nice sight for your boyfriend. “So thankful someone finally fucked her right.”

Hoseok grunts and you can only imagine the look on his face. Sadly, you can’t see him, not when your mouth’s around Jungkook’s rim, teasing it, licking, sucking, but you’re sure he’s fixated on your pussy as you shake your hips for him while going to town on this stranger.

As evidenced by his hums and moans and the way his body clenches and releases, Jungkook enjoys your tongue for a while, letting you please him for a couple of minutes before he pulls you away again.

“Think it’s time I come, huh?” he asks with a chuckle that makes you get goosebumps, his tone suddenly turning so low. “Be a good girl and milk my cum out of me.”

Your hands instantly wrap around his cock, but the action makes Jungkook kick his head back and laugh. “You think I’d make it that easy? No, with your wet cunt. Sit on my lap.”

Jungkook plants his feet firmly on the ground, allowing you to sit on his lap as he leans backward and places one hand behind his back for support. You sink into his chest, facing your boyfriend and spreading your legs so Hoseok can get a good look at you. Finally, you get to see him, and it’s just as hot as you imagined. He’s chewing on his bottom lip, fingers still wrapped around his hard cock, and you get the sudden urge to taste him. Not yet, though, you tell yourself. Just a little bit more and Jungkook’s out of the picture then, and you become Hoseok’s again.

“Now you’ll show your man over there how you ride a dick like a slut,” Jungkook tells you, and you lift your hips up, aligning his cock with your entrance. The very next second, you’re lifting your hips up using your knees, fucking yourself against Jungkook’s hard dick. “Show him how much you enjoy having a nice big cock in you.”

“Fuck!” you moan, feeling him filling you up fully, stretching your walls, even though it slides in so easily, coated with your juices. “Yes, I love it…”

“Mhm, a real fucking slut,” Jungkook grunts, hand grabbing your breast and squeezing it before he gives you a light smack, which is enough to get Hoseok’s undivided attention. “Such a good cunt, too…”

A second ago, his eyes were glued to the place where your body met Jungkook’s, and you’re sure he’s enjoying the way your cunt swallows a big cock. But, the way Jungkook’s treating you is more interesting to your boyfriend right now—he’s pinching and pulling on your nipple as you ride him, grunting loudly as you do so.

“Fuck, Jungkook, fuck,” you sound desperate when you mutter as you look at your boyfriend, wanting to be with him badly, needing him to come over so you can finally touch and feel him.

“Who’s fucking you good?” Jungkook asks but you don’t answer—you’re too busy moaning to make words come out of your mouth, so he brings his hand down to your clit and smacks it, which earns a hiss from Hoseok. “I asked you something.”

“You, you are,” you say after the initial pain turns into pleasure, after you realize Jungkook can still ruin you if he feels like it.

“And what’s my name?” The question sends shivers down your spine, especially since it’s followed by Jungkook’s mouth on the side of your neck, and incessant rubbing against your clit. HIs tongue feels perfect against your warm skin, wiggling its way under your jaw, sucking on the skin there just enough to make you grunt.

“J-Jungkook,” you moan the word, moving your hips in circles as you stare into Hoseok’s eyes. “You’re fucking me so good.”

“Tell him again, whose cock are you riding?” Jungkook asks as he points at Hoseok before his hand flies back down to your clit. “Tell him who can make you act like such a slut.”

“Yours, Jungkook,” your voice sounds strained, and the words come out like cries as his fingers continue circling your clit, making you ride him faster to get some relief. “You, you…”

“Are you gonna take all my cum now?” he asks but knows you will, as previously discussed.

You hum in agreement, which is all Jungkook needs to release his load inside of you. But, you don’t stop moving as he comes, continuing to ride him, his cock spurting cum into you as your eyes dig into Hoseok’s. You can’t get enough of the way he stares at you in awe, eyes dark with desire, cock leaking precum which creates a wet spot on his pants.

Jungkook’s now grunting loudly as he sinks down into the bed, both hands grabbing your hips to help you ride him until every drop is out. The sounds he’s making turn you on, the low grumble in his throat as he rides out his high, but it’s Hoseok’s expression that ruins you—a look you’ve seen many times before, one that tells you he wants to be inside of you badly. You two have never done anything like this, so you’re not even sure what to expect once Jungkook is out of the equation, once you’re left alone with your boyfriend.

As soon as you feel Jungkook’s body relax under yours, you lift your hips up enough for his cock to fall out, but you cup your crotch and clench hard, trying to hold all of it in for Hoseok. You know he’s going to ravage you now, so you get on all fours at the edge of the bed, pressing your chest into the bed, ass up in the air so Jungkook’s cum stays inside.

It’s the man’s cue to leave, so he nods at you and Hoseok and grabs a towel to cover himself up. With a quick goodbye, Jungkook’s out of the room, and your boyfriend gets up to lock the door behind the man, ensuring no one will interrupt what’s to follow. You have the room for at least another hour, if you want it, as agreed with Jimin.

When the door’s locked, Hoseok walks over to you, lets his pants and underwear fall down his thighs without uttering a single word, and eases his cock into you in one swift motion, one that makes you cry out for him.

“Fuck, baby,” you whine, enjoying the feeling of his dick sliding right in. Jungkook’s cock was different, new, but Hoseok feels so good and familiar, yours, so you can’t help but moan from the second he enters you fully on the first try. “You feel so good!”

“So fucking wet,” he speaks after a couple of thrusts, voice raspy. “Full of someone else’s cum.”

That gets you to grunt and arch your back even more, letting Hoseok do whatever he wants. He pumps harder now as if the mental image of that paired with the feeling around his cock makes him even hornier.

“Did you like it?” you hiss through gritted teeth, wondering just how much Hoseok enjoyed watching you get railed by another guy, get used by the man while he insulted your boyfriend, who just sat there and jerked off. “Liked seeing him fuck me?”

“Seeing you get fucked like a slut?” There’s some playfulness in his chuckle, which is only stressed by the way his hips start snapping into you even faster, cock filling you up fully whenever it enters you. “Fucking loved it.”

“Do you like how Jungkook stretched it all out of you?” You’re crossing the line here, entering dangerous territory, saying something that might actually be taken the wrong way, that might ruin the fun.

However, it does the exact opposite. Hoseok hisses, his fingers wrapping around your hips tighter, and starts going so fast you have to grab a fistful of the sheets to stop your body from yanking forward and away from the cock that’s touching you just right.

“Look how proud you are of letting another man use your pussy and come inside it,” he mutters, his hand flying to your hair so he can pull on it, getting you to arch your back even further. “Acting like a real slut tonight.”

“More, baby, more,” you break character and whine, feeling yourself close again, so close you can already feel the tingling in your lower belly, your toes curling as Hoseok keeps pistoning into you, pushing against your sweet spot over and over again. “Fuck, Hobi, fuck!”

“Insatiable whore,” he chuckles from behind you, but his voice is strained and you just know he’s close to blowing his load inside you. Still, Hoseok is always a gentleman—unless you ask him not to be—and he always makes sure you get what you want before taking care of himself. So, he keeps pulling your hair since he knows it’s your favorite, your scalp prickling with warmth, sending shivers down to your swollen core. “Pussy full of cum and you still want more.”

“Yes, yes, I want it,” you sound fucked out, trying to nod, but his hand stopping you, yanking you by the hair. “Please, more, please…”

“More what?” Hoseok sounds harsh now, but it’s because he’s falling apart too, you just know it. While you were enjoying yourself and coming because of Jungkook, Hoseok was just touching himself quietly, unable to touch or taste you or have you do the same to him. It must have been torture, which is why he’s having a hard time lasting long now—and you kind of like that.

“Make me come… Fill me up,” you whine, your words coming out in the form of weak cries, tears forming in the corners of your eyes because of how intensely you’re getting fucked, how raw and swollen your walls are, and how perfectly your boyfriend fits inside, like he was made for it.

Suddenly, Hoseok goes quiet and lets go of your hair, pushing himself even closer to you as his hands fly down to your hips. Then, he unleashes his anger on you, fucking you so hard you completely let go, letting him use you, fuck you so hard you can’t think straight. All you can do is moan over and over again while his cock sends you over the edge, your vision going blank, head and body buzzing, pussy walls fluttering around Hoseok.

“Ah, what a good girl!” he mutters when he feels your clenching. Not long after, he releases too, slowing down his pace as loud, long grunts and sighs leave his mouth, your pussy now full of his cum too. “Fuck…”

“You were great,” you tell Hoseok after a while, once you’ve calmed your breathing enough to speak, ass up in the air, your boyfriend’s cock still lodged inside of you.

“Let’s get out of here, huh?” Hoseok breathes, pressing a soft kiss to your shoulder from behind, sweaty bodies pressed into one another. “You did so well for me tonight, so fucking well.”

You hum happily, allowing him to clean you up, even though you’re sure Hoseok would prefer you to keep all that cum inside you so you can continue playing when you get home. If this was any regular day, you would have done it, but you’re completely spent now, still struggling to breathe properly, and you’re already feeling sore, not to mention swollen.

“You took it so well,” he plants a soft kiss on your lower back, followed by another one to your ass cheek while his hand uses the rag to carefully wipe the cum that’s still seeping out of you. “My good girl… Fuck, that was hot.”

“Yes,” you agree, mind rushing to images of Hoseok jerking off on his own, coming all over himself at the sight of you getting fucked. “You are hot.”

When he’s finally done, you move backward until your feet are on the floor, instantly wincing at the feeling between your legs. You’re fucked out, completely, muscles starting to hurt.

“I’ll take care of you tonight,” Hoseok says and wraps his arms around you, letting you rest against his chest for a while. His fingers run through your hair as his mouth plants soft kisses all over the top of your head. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

Whispers wafted around you, spilling in from every direction as you shouldered through the party. As soon as you’d make eye contact with someone, they’d immediately fix their face, molding a fake smile and a ‘welcome back’ in your direction. You’d send an acknowledging nod and a grin back, a smile that didn’t reach your eyes.

You sought out the one person you were looking for in the room. Your gaze darted around, from ingenuine face to ingenuine face, until you spotted her. Her back turned to you, a glass of wine held delicately in her hand as she laughed briskly with the woman next to her. You made to reach her, tapping her perfectly poised shoulders. Your mother turned around, surprise lighting up her face as her eyes landed on you.

“Darling! I didn’t know you were coming home tonight!” To everyone else, she was full of joy and surprise. But behind that, only you could see the slight falter in her gaze, something that threw a wrench in her carefully crafted itinerary. Your mother was a purposeful woman, you knew that better than anyone. And she didn’t like things not going according to her plan.

She embraced you quickly, not letting the look linger. You felt her bony arms around you tightly. Sure, she’d missed her daughter. But you could feel her thoughts race. She was rearranging things in her mind quickly, mapping out a new norm. But, you didn’t care for any of that. You’d come here for one reason.

“How is he? Is he here?” You pulled away to look around, expecting to see your brother, popping up out of thin air, towering over everyone. Your mother’s silence brought your attention back to her, looking into her face, one she was trying to school behind a nonchalant facade.

“We’ll talk about it later, okay?”

Your heart dropped and you had to stop yourself from huffing audibly. You faced her with frustrated and doleful eyes. “Mom–”

“Later,” she squeezed your shoulder in warning as she wore a masked smile. Her pointed look was enough for you to concede, itching to get home and rehash the subject. Her hand on your back seemed motherly and sweet, but her tone was serious, warning you not to make a mess at a social event. Lest her reputation be tarnished. “It’s a party, okay? Why don’t you go and mingle.” She spotted someone from a distance, flagging them down. “There’s Lani’s mother. Why don’t you see where your best friend is? Have you seen her since you got back?”

“I came to talk to you.” You muttered under your breath as you slapped a smile on your face. Lani’s mother had spotted you, excitedly waving and making her way over.

It was a social setting, and you had to play your part. That was a lesson you had learned early in life.

—

30 minutes earlier

“Oh my god! Someone just saw yn getting into a cab at the train station!”

Lani’s head snapped up, her wine going down the wrong opening in her surprise. She coughed as she processed the news, her mind racing. You, who she hadn’t seen in six months… was actually back in the city. She felt a myriad of mixed feelings wash over her. But most importantly, she felt a sense of urgency to find her boyfriend. And fast.

“Are you sure?” Taehyung asked lazily, his bored face slightly perking up at the sound of the juicy gossip. At the nod from Mina, he grinned as he downed a shot from his flask. “Good. Things were starting to get boring around here.”

Lani rolled her eyes, but stopped herself quickly. She knew she wore her emotions on her face easily, and this was an extremely delicate situation. She had to control that.

“Why do you think she’s back?” Mina asked curiously, eyes shining with thirst for gossip. “Do you think she’s the same?”

“Blowing off school and getting fucked up?” Taehyung scoffed. But a large grin was still evident on his face as he spoke. “It’s the only way to live.”

Lani actually didn’t stop her eye roll this time. “Just because you don’t take school seriously, and spend all your time with your dick in anything that walks, doesn’t mean that it’s the way to live.”

“Hey,” Taehyung waved his hand nonchalantly. “I have a trust fund to fall back on. We all do. You should take a few pointers, little miss perfect.”

Lani’s nose wrinkled in disgust at the thought. Of course, what else would you expect to hear from the son of the wealthiest man in the city? With the ethereal looks to match, Taehyung had never had to work for a thing a day in his life. And he had the endless troublemaking, alcohol, and discarded models to prove it.

“Well, I heard her mom sent yn away to rehab.” Dinah spoke from the other side of Taehyung. She shrugged with a pointed eyebrow, raising her wine glass to her lips. “She could come back straight as a ruler.”

“Oh, please. This is yn we’re talking about,” Mina giggled, emphasizing your name as if that would disprove Dinah completely. “She’s not even a backdoor virgin anymore, apparently. Thanks to Jung Hoseok.” Dinah gasped, and Mina nodded fervently, and they fell into a fit of gossip.

Lani’s thoughts were occupied with something else though. Her eyes darted around the room, trying to spot her tall boyfriend. Catching a glimpse of his shaggy brown hair, her gaze narrowed and her heart thudded.

Taehyung was watching her with a smug, knowing look on his face. One she ignored as she thrust her wine glass in his direction, and commanded, “hold this,” before rushing away, in pursuit.

“Your father tells me you’re planning on going into finances, like him. Great choice, son.” Jungkook was met with a slap on the back by one of his father’s business associates. “Your old man is one of the best in the business.”

“Yes, father always speaks highly of his work.” Jungkook agreed with the perfect response. Though, he couldn’t stop the second phrase from tumbling out of his mouth. “Though, I was thinking about exploring other options as well. Journalism, perhaps.”

“His mother wouldn’t hear of it.” His father was quick to intercede before the words fully left Jungkook’s mouth. He wrinkled his nose at the eyebrow piercing glinting back at him from his son’s face, turning away and addressing the business associates. “Such an unstable livelihood makes her nervous.”

“Yes, well.” Jungkook’s polite tone was underlined with defeat. “Of course, business is my first choice.” Feeling a sudden overwhelming wave wash over him, he physically felt his face fall. The exhaustion of social networking was starting to get to him.

“Hello,” Lani’s hand brushed against her boyfriend’s back, facing the man he was conversing with. “Mr. Jeon, do you mind if I steal Jungkook away?” Her voice was sweet and polite as always, batting her eyelashes at her boyfriend as she spoke.

Jungkook’s hand wrapped around her waist in greeting, naturally falling into place. Like it had done 100 times before. “Sure, he’s all yours.” Mr. Jeon raised a glass in gesture, cheerfully patting his son on the back before leaving the two of them.

“Hey,” Jungkook flashed her a grin, “What’s up?”

Lani wrapped her arms around his neck, barely offering an answer before pressing her lips to his vivaciously. His eyes widened as he found himself caught in a heated kiss with his girlfriend, not necessarily complaining.

“Come on. I wanna show you something.” She giggled as she pulled away, whispering in his ear like it was a secret. Jungkook barely had time to question it as she tugged him away, in the direction of her bedroom. It didn’t take much for Jungkook to put two and two together, his heart racing giddily as he let himself be pulled away.

Lani and Jungkook were childhood sweethearts, dating since their first day of kindergarten—when Jungkook had painted her a heart, and gifted it to her on the playground during recess, with Taehyung yelling random encouragements and teases behind him. Even back then, you and Lani had been inseparable, you right by her side squealing with her as Jungkook approached her.

Of course, the four of you had grown up together since then. And not just because of the couple in your group. Being the children of the richest people in the city meant you spent a lot of brunches, charity galas, and polo matches running around and chasing each other around.

As you grew up, you and Lani changed, but you remained as close as ever. You started putting an emphasis on “fun,” boys started approaching you more, and any room you walked into swirled around your lively personality. Meanwhile, Lani was preoccupied with making everything in her life perfect, complete with her perfect boyfriend and perfect relationship. Everything was planned out to a tee with her. She fit into this world in that way. Taking after your parents, and charting out her every move to a “perfect” future. Down to the moment she would lose her virginity.

Of course, her original plan was prom. Getting dressed in the perfect designer gown, voted prom queen, having secured her admission into the college of her choice, ready to start her new life. Completing the night with the ultimate step in her relationship. That was the plan. But things didn’t go that way, as things in life often tend to do.

It all started when she got rejected from her top choice. Her hands shaking with that letter, her whole world started to fall apart, one string broken in a large web that was slowly unraveling. She wasn’t concerned with things like her virginity. Not when she was busy having a mental breakdown over her entire future being ruined. No. It would just have to wait.

And wait it did. She wanted the night to be perfect, it couldn’t be any old night. So she planned. And postponed. And planned and postponed. No time ever seemed right after her entire path had gone awry. And so here they were, about to start their second year of college semester of freshman year, and she still hadn’t gone through with it. Jungkook was a patient boyfriend, and she loved him for it. But she knew he wouldn’t wait forever. His patience was especially a liability when… you were around.

Fuck the plans, she needed to get this done with now, before he found out you were back. Before there was even a chance…

Her doe-eyed boyfriend had no clue when she pushed him back onto her bed, climbing over him after letting her dress drop to the floor. He didn’t even know what Lani knew. How you affected him. It wasn’t unusual, really. You had that effect on all men, and women, too, when you wanted to. It was natural, they were drawn to you like a moth to a flame. The shining spotlight, with you right in the center, collecting praise and admiration. Lani knew Jungkook was no exception, despite their years-long relationship. He couldn’t help but be drawn to your light. That just meant she had to cling to him harder when you were around—the downsides of having a best friend as alluring as you, she thought bitterly.

She’d forgotten all those feelings you’d brought back with your arrival, the jealousy stirring inside her like a green monster. It was so much easier without you here. And Lani was determined to keep things that way.

“You wanna do this now?” Jungkook panted as his hands came up to grip her hips, breathless from her endless kisses. The ripple of news that had passed through the party didn’t register in his consciousness, unbeknownst to him that you had just stepped through the doors of the estate.

“Now, please. I want you so bad.” She pushed his suit jacket off, throwing it to some remote corner of her room. Jungkook was shocked with her frantic actions. He’d never know Lani to do anything without thinking 100 steps first. And now, here she was, acting with pure passion? He could get used to this.

“Lani!” A loud voice drifted through her door, coming from the bottom of the staircase. It belonged to Lani’s mother, but Lani didn’t seem to pause to listen to what she had to say. “Yn’s here! Come say hello!”

“What?” Jungkook sat up suddenly, pulling away from Lani’s lips. She took to kissing his neck instead, desperately trying to regain his attention. But it was too late. “Yn’s back?”

“Yn deferred for a year. She’s not here.” Lani cooed, tilting his face in her direction.

“No, your mom just said she’s here. I heard her.” Jungkook was swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and reaching for his shoes before Lani could stop him. “We should go say hi.”

Lani was left panting, mostly out of frustration, as he tugged his clothes back on and straightened his tie up. A battle lost.

—

You were on your way out when you saw him. Having just made an excuse to Lani’s mother as to why you couldn’t stay, desperate to get home and away from the suffocating social gathering. You needed to clear your head, be able to think. Visit your brother, if he wasn’t out yet. The last place you needed to be was a party.

You were on your way out, but he crossed your path. You hadn’t seen him since the night you left. He looked older, somehow, more mature. Even though it had only been six months. His shaggy brown hair had gotten longer, too, now falling over his eyes effortlessly. An eyebrow piercing glinted through the tendrils—much to your surprise. His eyes shone with something you didn’t want to think about, and he looked like he was going to make his way towards you, words left unspoken between you on the tip of his tongue.

Which died on his lips as soon as he saw Lani descend the stairs in front of him, unknowingly intercepting his path and spotting you first.

Your heart did a full 180, dropping to your ass, when you saw your best friend. She approached you slowly, giving you plenty of time to run rampant with guilt. You hadn’t told her when you’d left. Not a single word. Just up and disappeared one day, without even a text to her phone. You didn’t know how she would feel, seeing you here three months later. You didn’t know if things were still the same.

She stood right in front of you, her eyes guarded with her feelings brewing behind them. It felt like an eternity passed, the both of you standing there. Unsure of what move to make, you settled for a sheepish smile. “Hey, Lani.”

Your heart raced in the moment of silence following. But you felt a weight being lifted off of your shoulders as her face broke into a smile, opening her arms and encasing you in an embrace. “Hi! Welcome back.”

You felt a million emotions flow through you as you hugged her back; nostalgia, regret, joy, comfort. But when you looked up, and saw Jungkook standing a few paces behind her, guilt washed all over you again.

You pulled away, instead sending her a smile. “Come on, have you had a drink?” She was looking for a server as she spoke, her hand grasping yours.

“Actually, I can’t stay. I have to get home.” You informed her in a regretful tone. She let your hand go.

Her face fell. “You’re not staying?”

“Not today, I’m still tired from traveling. But I’ll see you at school, right?” You gave her a departing squeeze of her shoulder as you hurried away, in the direction of the exit opposite of where Jungkook was standing. Quick, before you ran into someone else, you were out the door in a flash.

Mina and Dinah took up Lani’s sides quickly, ushering her back to where they were sitting before.

“School. So I guess she’s back for good.” Taehyung held up Lani’s discarded wine glass, but Lani reached for his flask instead, taking a large swig of it as she plopped down.

“You guess? Didn’t you know?” Dinah questioned.

Lani’s head snapped up, interrupting the thoughts she was lost in. “Yeah… of course I did.” She shook her head, readjusting her smile. “We’re best friends, of course I knew.”

“Crazy she didn’t stay though, right? I don’t think I’ve ever been to a party that she hasn’t been at. Usually, trashed and ditching with someone before the room is even full.” Mina whispered in a loud-hushed voice.

“Now that I think about it, you’re right.” Dinah agreed. “Told you guys she went to rehab.”

“Well, something definitely happened to our resident party girl.” Taehyung drawled, taking a sip of his regained flask. He wore a knowing smile, though. As if he had the ultimate inside scoop on you. He flashed a quick look to Lani. “Let’s see how the consequences play out.

Flashback (One year ago)

“Another! Whoo!” You reached for the shots that were being poured. Conveniently forgetting the crucial fact that you were standing on top of a coffee table, you tripped as you missed the step down, falling ungracefully, the floor rushing up to meet you.

Though, luckily, the contact never came. You found yourself in arms much bigger and stronger, and a pillow-like chest that you rested your head on. You started a giggle fit at your almost-concussion, looking up at your savior with a drunken smile and a happy glint in your eye. “Let’s do it again!”

“Whoa, there.” Namjoon’s hand dropped to your waist as you tried to re-climb the coffee table, tugging you back into his chest. “Let’s slow it down, baby.”

“Don’t call me baby,” You pouted, pushing him away with minimal strength. “Not unless you’re gonna fuck me like your baby–”

“Hey,” he amusement flashed across his face as he gripped your wrists, which were trailing a bit low on his body, keeping them interlocked in one hand. “Relax, huh? You’ve had a lot to drink.”

“So? It’s never stopped you before. Especially not when you popped my ch–” You didn’t know how loud you were when you were drunk. So it’s no surprise when you were yelling the last part of your sentence like it was your favorite part of the song, throwing up your red solo cup like you were cheering someone who wasn’t there. He was quick to cover your mouth with his palm, muffling your screech.

“You weren’t this drunk, yn. Come on.” He kept you safe in his embrace, catching Hoseok’s glance from across the room. Once Hoseok caught sight of who was in Namjoon’s arms, he raised his cup to him with a smile and a wink, which Namjoon returned with a head nod and a cheeky smile. Fitting, because, as the captain of the lacrosse team and the frat you were currently throwing a holler in, the fuckboy smile he flashed you did the trick. “Come on, let’s get to my room. You can lie down in there.”

“What, you trynna get me on my back, Kim?” You slurred. It was a feat getting you up the stairs he was leading you up. Trying to distract you from the jello shots you’d just spotted, he attempted to turn your attention to something else. “Where’s your brother, anyway? I haven’t seen him around.”

Jello shots immediately forgotten, your face contorted into an unreadable expression. “Haven’t seen him in a while,” you shrugged, “He took off west, and hasn’t been home since. Seemed okay when I spoke to him on the phone last week, though.” The mention of your brother seemed to ground you, sobering you up a bit. A sad tone snuck in through your words, your shoulders dropping to match.

Namjoon led you through his door awkwardly, unsure of what to say. He knew your brother was a wild card; it was one of the reasons they were such good friends. So something like this didn’t exactly surprise him. But his disappearance seemed to have a different effect on you, and Namjoon didn’t know how to lift those frown lines into a smile.

Though, on the bright side, you were finally secured behind safe doors, no longer in danger of throwing yourself off another coffee table. And also, he noticed as he turned around after locking the door, completely naked.

“It’s hot,” you excused, crossing the room to him. You slid your hands under his shirt, tugging at it with a focused look on your face. “You’re hot.” You seemed to have completely forgotten about the conversation topic at hand, no sign of your previous emotions evident on your face.

Namjoon shook his head as he chuckled. Some part of him knew the night would end like this, he thought as he lifted his shirt over his head. But, as you looked up at him with those big doe eyes, he thought making an exception to his no runbacks rule might be worth it for you… again…

Present Day

The heavy doors took all your strength to open, yanking your whole arm back and taking your body with you. Fucking prison, it is. You cursed under your breath as you stumbled through the threshold, the white marble floors lackluster underneath your feet. Lifting your head, the rest of the surroundings were just as boring and dingy. You spotted the receptionist immediately, making your way over.

“Welcome to the Cornell Treatment Center, can I help you?” She mustn't have gotten a lot of visitors, perking up when she saw you barreling through.

“Yes, hello! I’m here to see my brother.” You quickly gave his name, and your ID card to match. Your nails tapped on the desk as she looked the information up. You took in the mundane off-white walls. A few potted plants littered here and there, but overall, completely devoid of color or emotion. A place built to treat things like depression or addiction was so… depressing. Ironic and backwards.

“Yes, room 304. Here’s your visitor pass.” The receptionist caught your attention, handing you a sticker and your ID back. “The elevators are down the hall.”

Thanking her, you were quick to shuffle through, not needing much direction to navigate your way through. You’d been here once before. Your brother hadn’t had as long a stay here last time as he did this time, only a few nights until he got back on his feet. Before being let out with no guidance or support, right back into the life that dropped him right back here.

You never blamed your brother for his choices; it’s never a teenager’s fault for falling into addictive habits, or looking for a way to numb their emotions. How was he supposed to know better? With a mother like yours…. It wasn’t easy having to practically raise yourselves. Sure, your mother had done a lot for you. She’d put a roof over your head, and food in your stomachs. But when every moment you actually spent time with her was spent conditioning you both for the social life she was grooming you to live, it became suffocating and exhausting. You didn’t have a mother, you had a handler.

Your brother, being the eldest child, had always looked after you. As much as he could, at least. You were closest when you both attended secondary school together; he was only three years ahead of you, and it was the best time of your life. You’d tail him everywhere he’d let you, and he’d do anything to make you smile. Your mother was going through her fourth divorce at the time, of course, she didn’t have much time for either of you. Your brother was the one who would walk you to school, take you to get a snack after at the deli down the street, and help you with your homework. He’d ask you about your day, and give you tips on how to get on teachers’ good sides. Once you’d started sneaking out, he promised not to tell mom, telling you to take the service elevator down, and to be responsible. Often taking you out with him, or having one of his friends watch out for you, lest you fall into a bad crowd. He made your teenage years bearable while battling demons of his own.

The least you could do was be there for him, especially when he was being involuntarily committed. Well, “voluntary,” after much persuasion from your mother.

It was last month when you’d received a panicked phone call from your mother in the middle of the night, blubbering that she’d gotten a call from a hospital out west who had just admitted your brother for an accidental overdose. She’d gone into full on crisis-mode after that, rushing to keep the news under wraps, making sure no one in town found out. She’d snuck your brother back into town just last week, committing him to the treatment center, but refusing to let him out or continue his treatment in the comfort of a home, for fear of others finding out about a scandal in your family.

You’d come face to face with the door, a few quick knocks to announce your arrival before you heard your brother’s voice from inside. Your heart was full as you pushed the door open, beating loudly in anticipation. You hadn’t seen him in over a year, since he’d left town. You felt a wave of emotion flood you as you caught a glimpse of his face, pushing the door open fully and jumping to make your way to him, throwing your arms around him in a tight embrace.

“Hey kiddo,” he hugged you back, patting your back. “How you been?”

“How have I been? How have you been?” You pulled back to get a good look at him, a huge smile breaking onto your face. “And what’s with the beard?”

“What?” He jokingly took an offended tone, stroking his chin. “Doesn’t it suit me?”

“I guess you can pull it off. You know, being my brother and all…” You rolled your eyes teasingly, shoving his shoulder affectionately.

It felt like a breath of fresh air, sitting and laughing with your brother. After everything that’s happened, you didn’t realize how much you’d missed his presence in your life. Even though he’d keep you somewhat updated (if he was sober enough to remember), it wasn’t the same. Your relationship was disconnected and carried through phone lines and text messages. You'd both missed a lot in each other's lives, and you know his absence was felt in yours. You hated that it had to be such a grim event that brought you both back together again, but you cherished it regardless. For the first time in months, you felt the weight on your chest get a little lighter.

—

As soon as you left your brother at the center, promising him fervently that you would try to get your mother to come around and let him carry out the rest of his treatment back home, you felt the fog of worry settle back over as you headed back to your apartment. You hadn’t had a chance to get your own place yet, so your mom, ever the planner, took it upon herself to lease one for you. Fine by you, it’d give you plenty of time to give her a piece of your mind.

Which is why when you walked up to the lobby of your new building, mind cloudy with the thoughts of your return to town, the last person you’d ever expected to collide with was… Jungkook.

You bumped into his chest with an oof, his well-defined pecs creating a pillow-y padding for you, his arms catching you before your fall.

“Whoa there, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“Startle me? Never! My senses are as sharp as Mrs. Smith’s at the mere sight of a woman near her husband, can’t you tell?” You backed up, readjusting your purse before getting a good look at him. Without your face in his pecs.

“Oh? Then Mrs. Smith must be losing her touch.” Jungkook laughed, leading you to playfully bat his arm. “By the way, your mom told me about the new apartment. How is it?”

“Your guess is as good as mine. I haven’t gone in yet.” You shrugged with a smile. He laughed along, sticking his hands into his pockets. A nervous trait of his, you knew from the many years you’d spent teasing him about it growing up. “What are you doing here, anyway?”

“Oh,” Jungkook shifted his stance, somehow seeming even taller. But his expression was timid, a bite of his lip before he answered, “You seemed in a rush last night. I just wanted to make sure everything was okay.”

“Yeah, uhm,” a pang of guilt hit your chest, your smile dropping. You couldn’t face his hopeful smile, the shy way he leaned into you. Everything was delicate, full of electricity and tiptoeing around each other.

But it shouldn’t have been. You two were friends, full stop. He was your best friend’s boyfriend, full stop. Dropping your gaze to the floor, fiddling with your keys. “Look, I have to get inside. Get everything ready for school tomorrow.”

You weren’t looking at him, but you’ve known Jungkook long enough to sense the bunny pout he was undoubtedly wearing right now. The confusion came off of him in desperate waves. “But–”

“No,” you cut him off, shaking your head. You tightened your hand over your purse strap, busying yourself with adjusting it. “No.”

“But you’re back now—”

“I didn’t come back for you.” You finally looked up, meeting his hurt eyes. You took to remind him of why this topic, his very visit, was a problem. “You’re with Lani, and she loves you, and that’s how things are supposed to be.”

You saw the look in his eyes, the confusion and dolefulness you couldn’t bear to face. You shuffled past him, grateful that he didn’t try to stop you. Because, with those muscles and your weak resolve, you don’t think you would have won that fight. You found refuge in the elevator, turning your key for the Penthouse. You didn’t look up as the elevator doors shut in front of you, slowly shutting Jungkook away.

“No…no…absolutely not…no—” Lani huffed as she thrust the list back into Mina’s lap. “Where did you find these people? Craigslist?”

“The freshman class is weak this semester. Mostly kids from…” Mina lowered her voice, “Public schools.” Dinah nodded along, her distaste evident.

“Absolutely nothing to work with.” Lani shook her head, rolling her eyes. “My first party of the year has to be perfect. Not a trashy frat party full of nobodies.” She went down the meticulously curated checklist in her hand carefully. “Have the invites been sent out?”

“Yes.” Dinah confirmed, excitement in her voice when she added, “And we had an art major do calligraphy!” Lani nodded her approval, checking the item off the list.

“Have you decided on what you’re wearing yet?” It was clear Mina was bursting to ask, the words tumbling out of her mouth rapidly. The favorite topic of any party discussion, of course.

“I’m between two right now, but I’ll probably get Jungkook’s opinion first.” She wore a smug smile as she gushed, “He has exquisite taste.”

“He does!” Dinah confirmed, Mina nodding along. “That diamond necklace he got you for your birthday last year was gorgeous.” Mina squealed at the mention of it, Dinah joining her.

“He’s such a considerate boyfriend.” Lani sighed happily. Though she was, of course, happy with her gift, she remembered the slight pang in her stomach when she’d opened the box, and the clear jewels sparkled back at her. She’d put a few items on hold at Tiffany’s, supposedly making it easy for the college boy, who was sure to be at a loss. And her heart was set on one specific set—a rare jewel as the centerpiece. She thought, upon sight of it, he’d choose it immediately, recognizing something that so perfectly matched her tastes.

It wasn’t like the diamond necklace wasn’t nice. It just… wasn’t what she wanted.

A sudden shadow blocked the sunlight over her, casting over Lani and her friends. Looking up, her jaw locked. “Hey Lani.”

Your frame was illuminated by a golden glow around you, courtesy of the sun you were currently blocking over Lani. Almost like a halo wrapping around you. You looked angelic, even on a mundane day at college. Great.

“I was looking for you guys. I didn’t know you started eating lunch here.” You gestured to the steps of the Arts building, where the girls currently resided. Lani sent you a tight-lipped smile. “I guess you miss a few things when you disappear for six months.”

She said it like a joke, and laughed right after to prove so. But the bite in her words was stark. Your own smile back was fake as ever, and it surprised you how unsurprised you were at her response. “So,” you nodded at her checklist, “When’s the party?”

An awkward silence followed your words, Mina and Dinah exchanging side eyes. Lani hesitated, letting your words hang in the air, busying herself with readjusting her books. She finally looked up, giving you a once-over. “Saturday.” She declared. “And… you’re kinda not invited.” She looked directly into your eyes as she delivered the blow. Her eyes were hard and challenging, daring you to defy her. “Since,” she resumed her faux joking persona, never one to outright declare war. “Up until twelve hours ago, you were MIA. And now, we’re full. Sorry. Maybe next time?” She concluded with a sweet smile, as poisonous as a snake.

You knew how Lani could get sometimes. She was your best friend, after all. But you never knew that her hostility or power plays would be directed at you. You had clearly missed more than you thought when you were gone.

Lani and her minions rose from the steps, “Did you want us to wait for you?” She offered passively, getting ready to leave.

“No, I’m all good. Thanks.” She nodded at your response, beckoning to the girls next to her as she passed you by.

“Lani,” you whirled around, stopping her in her tracks. “Meet me at the Great Oaks tonight. Eight o’ clock?” You may not have known what you missed, but you certainly planned on catching up. Whatever this was, you were keen for the explanation.

If it was a year ago, the invite would have been completely standard, expected even. But now, it was heavy with a weight that both of you were daring each other to bear. A challenge, a last-ditch attempt at a negotiation. A possible peace-making. It was a bomb with a short fuse, and it was seconds away from running out.

“Can’t.” Came Lani’s curt response. “I have something with Jungkook tonight.” The heavy emphasis on his name told you all you needed to know.

“He can wait.” You pushed. Rough waters, but your many years of friendship taught you how to navigate it.

It was like Lani knew it too, finally conceding with a nod of her head. Whether it was because it was a challenge she couldn’t back down from, or a small piece inside of her fighting for the friendship you two once had, she replied, “I can stop by for a bit.”

As she walked away, you couldn’t help the yearning you felt for the normalcy you had before you left. Throughout it all, all your benders, your wild nights, your memory losses the next morning, your best friend was with you through it all. Holding your hair back when you were bent over the toilet, carrying you back from whatever place you’d fallen asleep in. You regret everything you put her through… everything you’d put everyone through.

You’d changed now, though, and you wish she could see that. Ready to take responsibility, be there for her. You didn’t realize you’d be welcomed back with such a cold response. If it was a year ago, your fight instinct would have kicked in. But it was your best friend. And you owed her the benefit of the doubt, at the very least.

“Left. Left!” Taehyung screamed at the flatscreen TV mounted on his wall, tilting his body in the same direction.

“You know you’re not actually in the Mario Kart, right?” Jungkook, his much calmer counterpart, was sitting back lazily. But his fingers still moved quickly over the controls in his hand.

“Shut up! It helps!” Taehyung’s voice was loud, frantic. He leaned impossibly forward, ready to be sucked into the TV and drive the Donkey Kong car himself all the way across the finish line. Just a little further…

Whizzing by, the black-and-white checkered flag signaled both the end of the game, and Jungkook’s secured first place win.

“Fuck!” Taehyung’s loud curse filled the apartment as he fell back into the couch cushions with a hefty huff. “Even distracted you’re still kicking my ass.”

“What? I’m not distracted.” Jungkook mumbled in absent-minded protest. His eyes were glazed over, on the screen in front of him as his Toad character happily did laps around the track with the “1st place!” banner flashing across the screen.

“Yeah, alright.” Taehyung snorted, reaching over to grab his rolling paper and weed.

“Do you ever feel like our whole lives are planned out for us?” Jungkook suddenly asked. “Like we’re just… pawns to whatever game this is?”

“Little slow on the uptake there, bud.” Taehyung laughed, concentrated on lining his weed up. “It’s our parents' world, and we’re just living in it. At least, till they croak and it’s our turn to run shit, or whatever.” He was rolling the paper meticulously, years of practice making it second-nature. “All we can do is make it worthwhile.”

“Yeah, but…” Jungkook was struggling with finding the end of his sentence, the words eluding him. “Don’t you think we should at least have the right to choose? At least, go for what we’re passionate about?”

Taehyung leveled his distracted friend with a long look. Mostly, out of surprise. Jungkook had never expressed a need to go against the grain before, perfectly content with following along with what his parents had planned. At least, that’s what Taehyung thought.

“Look,” Taehyung pulled out his lighter, sticking the blunt in between his lips. “Life’s simple for us. Easy. Don’t think too much.” Lighting the spark, “We’re entitled to certain… privileges. And there are even easier ways to make it more interesting.” He held the blunt out to his friend, a testament to his statement. Jungkook shook his head, deeming the soft mellow from the previous blunt enough.

Not Taehyung, though. “You’re clearly stressed. Or,” Jungkook followed Taehyung’s pointed gaze down to his crotch, “backed up. Seriously, light up, get in there, and tap that ass. It’s that simple. You and Lani have been dancing around it for how many years now?” Taehyung felt his eyes get hotter with each drag, but he was long from faded. He waited for the nod from Jungkook, confirming the time frame he was dissing. “Exactly. Seal the deal, alright? But, first,” Taehyung thrust the game controller back into Jungkook’s lap, settling back with his eyes on the screen. “I’m gonna kick your ass before you become a man.”

With a laugh, Jungkook was taking the controller, poked out of his funk by his best friend. Those thoughts weren’t gone, lingering still, pushed to the back of his mind. Further each time he ignored it—it was only a matter of time before it burst out into a kaleidoscope of entropy.

The small chandeliers hanging above the high end bar provided the only source of light in the dark room. Two martinis sat facing one another, and two fake IDs were tucked away in respective purses. A formality, to be frank. The children of the elite weren’t carded regardless.

“So,” you started, “How have you been?” The apprehension in your chest accompanied you all the way here, only tightening at the first word uttered to your best friend. The question somehow felt weighted, so you quickly added, “How’s your mom doing with the divorce?”

“Great.” Lani was quick with the response, lifting the martini up to her lips. “She jetted off with her private trainor and lost fifteen pounds. Out of my hair, too. It’s been good for her.” Her response was almost robotic, too stiff to be a simple conversation between friends. It would have been the perfect socially acceptable response to give at an event, with a breezy laugh to boot. If it wasn’t for the subtle hint at Lani’s relationship with her mother. You knew.

“I’m so sorry.” You didn’t pry, giving the socially acceptable response right back. It wasn’t supposed to be like this with you two. Although, the guilt wracking you had you lose your footing in more ways than one.

“Yeah, I could tell. Since you were totally there for me the whole time it was happening.” Lani’s biting sarcasm. Finally, a true show of emotions.

“I know, I’m terrible.” You nodded—there was no excuse, she was right. “It’s just, I was dealing with a lot when I was away, and—”

“I don’t even know why you left.” Lani interjected. Her voice was calm as ever, never one to cause a scene. But the coolness of her words left a chill on your skin. “Do you know how it felt? Calling your house after you went MIA, just to have your mom go ‘Oh. Yn didn’t tell you?’”

“I–” You shook your head. “I’m so sorry, Lani. I just—I want to make things right again. I’m here now.”

“How are you going to do that when I feel like I don’t even know you?” There was a hint of defeat in her voice, behind the nonchalant facade she was putting up. Your relationship wasn’t just your loss; she was mourning it too.

You can’t imagine what the old you would have done. But the new you wasn’t about to let fifteen years of friendship wash down the drain just because of your mistakes. You wouldn’t lose another person in your life. “Let’s fix that.” You reached out tentatively, aiming for a soft grab of her hand. “You know… I saw you at school with Dinah and Mina, and I’m not here to take any of that away from you or anything—”

“Because it’s just yours to take?” Her words took you by surprise, but you could feel the resonance coming off of her in waves. She was dead serious.

“No, of course not! That’s not what I meant—” You were fumbling for words, and Lani leveled you with a raised eyebrow. Really?

“Look,” you take a deep breath, urging your singular braincell to get it together. “I just miss you. So much.” Your eyes were sincere when you looked at her. “I just want things to go back to the way they used to be. Remember? Staying up all night watching Audrey Hepburn movies? Nights skinny-dipping on the beach? Dancing on tables at the Lounge?” You earned a small smile from her at the reminiscence, the memories running a wave of nostalgia over the both of you.

“Just,” her voice was low, next sentence barely even a whisper. Raw with emotion. “Why did you go?”

You felt your heart tighten. You knew you’d have to address it at some point. Making these plans, extending the olive branch, you knew you’d have some explaining to do. There was so much you wanted to lay out to her. So many secrets you wanted to expend, tired of the weight bearing down on you. You knew you had a choice. You could either tell her everything, or you could take the easy way out. And looking at your best friend’s hopeful and expectant face, you chose the lighter weight to lift off your chest.

“I was looking for my dad.” Your voice was small, almost as if the words didn’t belong to, but some younger version of you. “He–He was supposed to be back in the country. And you know how quickly he moves around, I had to move fast if I wanted to catch him.”

Of all the things Lani expected you to say, she wasn’t expecting that. Her passive face shifted into one of surprise, eyebrows lifting up. She knew about your father—he and your mother had gotten divorced when you were young. But instead of staying in his children’s lives, he decided to jet off around the world for “work,” leaving you behind too.

“Oh my god, what? What happened? Did you find him?” She asked empathetically, leaning forward.

Your head was hung as you shook your head slightly. The confirmation itself was a lot for you to bear—what had happened when you went looking for him still hadn’t sunk in.

“I’m so sorry. I know how long you’ve been looking for him.” Lani reached out a comforting hand, patting your knee. Her voice was full of genuinity, the fake persona dropped as soon as you opened your wounds.

“No, I did find him.” You corrected, once you found the words to speak again. “I found what hotel he was staying at, and I went all the way up to the room and knocked on the door.” You struggled to keep your voice from shaking. “He didn’t want to see me.”

There was a heavy pause after your words as both you and Lani processed them. You had been avoiding admitting that since the moment it had happened, never able to fully accept it. You were in denial for months after, sure there was another explanation. But, sitting here, the words spoken into the air, hearing them out loud for the first time—concession washed over you.

“Is that why you–were gone for so long?” Lani asked gently. You nodded. You couldn’t handle coming back after the humiliation. Coming back to the same life he’d left you in. So you stayed in the city, a small part of you still holding out hope that you’d somehow meet your father again. But days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. And the simple reason you stayed in the city became more convoluted than you’d ever intended. It was like you always left a mess in your wake.

Not anymore, though. You promised yourself.

“Listen,” you shook your head, trying to clear it before your emotions took over completely. “I–I don’t want to keep you. I know you have plans with Jungkook and—”

“Oh, shoot. That completely slipped my mind.” Lani was checking the time on her watch, regretting how little time she had blocked off for you. “I’m so sorry, I have to go, but,” she touched your arm, looking at you with a soft heart, “We’re going to talk soon, okay?” You nodded, though you also needed time to really face your emotions. She knew that—taking it one step at a time, just like she knew you needed, and never pushing too much. Knowing your limits because she grew up learning them.

You were grateful for the outlet she gave you, your heart slightly lighter after she left. But guilt reared its head again once you were left alone. You gulped down the rest of your martini, urging the alcohol to work faster.

—

Unbeknownst to you, on the other side of the city, another wretched soul was going through the same guilty heartburn you were.

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” Lani announced as she breezed through the door in haste. “I was with yn, and we ran a little long.”

Jungkook nodded, but his mind was in jambles. He felt an unbearable heat scorch his veins, his foot tapping anxiously on Lani’s carpet. Your name only fanned that flame.

The whole ride from Taehyung’s to here, Jungkook fought an internal battle between the desire to maintain his perfect relationship, the safe path tied to his safe future, and keeping everything stable in his world. Or, to give in to the internal conflict he’d been fighting for a long time; throw everything with Lani away, just for the sake of honesty. Jungkook didn’t have many choices in life—most things were decided for him, or he was only given the illusion of choice. But he did have control over what kind of boyfriend, what kind of man, he was going to be. And even if it cracked that perfect mirage he’d been building his whole life, he’d at least be able to say he had a semblance of morals. It was easy to lose those in a world like this.

“Lani, I have something to tell you.”

At the sound of her name, Lani, who was rushing around the room, lighting candles to set the mood for the big night, paused.

Jungkook felt the knot in his stomach grow. He felt like an asshole, doing this the night she had planned for their first time to be. Many postponements and schedules changes later, and this was finally supposed to be it. But he swallowed the lump in his throat. He knew he was doing the right thing—couldn’t even think of sleeping with her tonight before telling her what he was about to. She had a right to know beforehand—”before”, as if there was even going to be an after.

The words flowed out of his mouth, quickly, before he had a chance to swallow them back. His voice was soft, and surprisingly calm. He wasn’t about to get emotional, though—he had no right to, not in that moment.

She screamed, she cried. Her voice shook as she paced the room. Her hands shook as she threw a pillow. She broke down when she slammed the door on his face, anger, hurt, and betrayal swirling around her as she sunk to the ground.

Flashback (The night you left town): The Radames Wedding

“Why would Lani send us to a bar to sober up?” Your giggle echoed through the empty room as you fiddled with the drinks behind the counter.

The country club was lively tonight, the Radames’ wedding a highly coveted event. In all the buzz, you’d lost track of how many drinks you’d downed, somehow dragging Jungkook down with you before the happy couple had even cut the cake. Both of you stood in the corner laughing at the smallest things, namely, Mrs. Eamon’s thick panty lines showing through her dress, until Lani caught sight and saved you both by dragging you into this unused event room at the reception hall. Just stay here. Don’t leave this room, I’ll have Taehyung come get you both when it’s time to go. Lights off, tables covered in cloth, but the bar still fully stocked.

“Don’t,” A hiccup interrupted Jungkook’s sentence, sending you into another fit of laughter, “Don’t touch those. Lani said we weren’t allowed to drink anymore.” His face was flushed, full of laughter as you wrestled a champagne bottle out.

“And?” You clutched the bottle close to your chest, “Lani isn’t the boss of me.” You took to trying to climb on top of the table to prove it, heels left on the floor behind you as you clambered over the counter next to the champagne bottle you put down.

“Yo–wait–be careful,” Jungkook reached over from the stool he was sitting on, making sure to keep a tight grip on you as you stumbled on. “And, are you new here? Lani is the boss of all of us.”

“Now, this champagne is the boss of us woo!” You finally managed to get standing on the bar, popping the stopper off expertly, and pouring it right into your mouth.

“Yn, just,” Jungkook meant to repeat his warning from earlier telling you to be careful, but he couldn’t find the words through all his giggles. He watched you with awe, starstruck at the way you guzzled down the alcohol, dancing to your own beat and whooping loudly for yourself. You were a sight to behold.

“Go on, Jeon. This isn’t that cheap shit they had at the reception. This is the real stuff.” You knelt down, crouching right in front of the boy’s seat holding the bottle out to him. Your eyes were shiny, alight with excitement. It made him excited too, blaming those butterflies fluttering around in his stomach right now on the alcohol and ignoring the fact that they were a regular occurrence around you, something he’d manage to ignore for the most part.

Fuck. He doesn’t remember the last time he’d seen you so close up before. You were beautiful.

You let out a loud yelp as he tugged you off balance, grabbing the champagne bottle before you dropped it. You panicked for a minute, thinking you were going to fall. But it turns out, he’d just pulled your legs out from under your crouch to make you sit on the bar, legs dangling around him. Oh. This was safer.

“Don’t fall,” he mumbled quietly, taking a swig from the bottle, making sure to keep one hand on your waist. Against his better judgment. Have it be any regular day, Jungkook would have long distanced himself from anything resembling being alone with you. His alcohol-addled brain didn’t register the warning signs, though. The blaring alarms going through his head were put on snooze. All he registered was how close you were, and how he could smell your perfume from here.

“And what? Are you gonna catch me?” There was a twinkle in your eye when you spoke, a moment before you pushed yourself off of the counter, and slid right into his lap, his hand holding your back steady. Jungkook’s heart was racing—he really thought you were going to fall, the split moment before he caught you sending adrenaline shooting through his veins.

Your giggle was louder, right next to his ear this time; the scent of your perfume stronger. Your hands were around his neck, and your dress was practically bunched up around your hips. You were sitting in his lap swinging your legs, and he prayed to god you didn’t feel anything poking you. You leaned back, meeting his eyes, apparently unaware of the way Jungkook’s mind was currently short-circuiting.

“Wow, you’ve gotten strong. Have you been working out?” You felt up his bicep, squeezing with excited sound effects. It would have sounded like a line, except he knew you. You’d known him for a while, back when he was a skinny kid wearing snapbacks and muscle tees… without the muscles. And he had been hitting the gym, you were bound to notice the difference. If you happened to be sitting in his lap, with the smell of your shampoo clouding his senses when you noticed, then so be it.

“Yeah, actually. For a while now.” He watched you feel his abs, letting out a gasp at the rock hard under your fingertips. “I tried to get Taehyung to come too, but he said he gets his workout in with personal instructors, and then blew smoke in my face, so.”

You snorted. “That boy could use it, though. With the amount of smoke he inhales?” Jungkook nodded. “The hotel maid service clearly isn’t cutting it anymore.” Right, the “personal trainers” Taehyung was referring to. Running through them and his dad’s assistants was his forte.

You shifted in your seat, securing your hands back around his neck, and he had to consciously stop himself from letting out a groan from the friction to his crotch. “Besides we all know he’s a pillow princess, and makes them do all the work. You don’t do that, do you Kookie?”

Your hands were tangled in the hair at the base of his neck, giving light scratches, as you looked at him expectantly. He gulped, looking away. “I, uh…”

Your eyes were questioning at first, your alcohol-addled brain slow to connect the dots. “Oh wait, I forgot…” You tried to hold back the smile threatening to spread on your lips, or the giggle bubbling up. “You’re baby.”

“I’m not baby.” His response was quick, with a roll of his eyes. He was a grown man, and he didn’t want you, of all people, to see him any other way.

“Right.” You were having a hard time controlling your laugh, biting your lip with a smile. You weren’t laughing at him, per say. You just thought his response was funny, you swear! And maybe the fact that he was getting hotter by the day, dripping in sex appeal, but his eyes got all big and owlishly round when your tits got in his face. It was cute.

Jungkook was only borderline annoyed, but he couldn’t help but let out a laugh at your expression. You joined in a second later, head falling into the crook of his neck. He could feel your hot breath on his skin, goosebumps rising on his skin as he felt your lips brush against his collar.

His mind was cloudy, under the influence. He didn’t have the outside world in his head when he softly called your name, his voice low. The room was hot, like a heat wave was overtaking it. Or was that just him? He wasn’t thinking when he captured your lips in a searing kiss, his mind tunnel-visioning on the soft texture of your mouth.

You let out a soft moan, and he could feel his heart pick up its racing pace. Your hand came up to tangle in his hair, falling perfectly in time with him. His tongue pushed into your mouth, exploring unfamiliar territory for the first time in thirteen years. And what’s more, it was with you. In his haze, he didn’t notice those feelings he’d ignored pushing their way back up to the surface.

You parted your lips, letting him in. You couldn’t think straight with the way he was kissing you. It was hungry and consuming, needy with the way you two were pressing up against one another. There was a sense of frantic urgency, a desperation to quell both of your needs.

Your hand slid down his torso, experienced fingers easily tugging his zipper down and fumbling around to fish his cock out of his boxers. His hand was on the back of your head, holding you close as the kisses got rougher and messier, all teeth and tongue.

Jungkook felt goosebumps rise on his skin at the first brush of your fingers on his cock, physically fighting to keep himself from bucking into your hand. You broke apart for a moment, eyes widening at the length resting in your palm. “You’re huge,” you breathed, marveling at how he looked with your small hand pumping him. You flashed him a teasing smile, “I didn’t know you were packing, Jungkookie.”

He felt the ego boost shoot adrenaline through his veins, giving rise to the way he snuck his hand under your dress to find your panties. But the childhood nickname still gave off an air of immaturity, leaving him with an annoyed thirst to prove himself. “It’s Jungkook,” he corrected, choosing that moment to slide his fingers into your panties. You let out a surprised gasp, clutching his arm for refuge as his fingers explored, coating in your arousal.

“What’s my name?” His fingers brushed over your dripping entrance, feeling as you gushed out. Embarrassment heated your face as you answered, without meeting his eyes. “Jungkook.”

His dick jumped at your confirmation as he rewarded you with a kiss to your sweet spot, making a shiver run down your body. He started to tug your panties down and pull you closer, both of you frantic with your actions as you lifted your hips and lined his cock up with your entrance. His hand wrapped around your chin, making you look at him before you sunk down.

You kept eye contact, slowly lowering yourself onto his impaling cock, your head falling back as you felt him nestle deeper into your cunt. With each inch, you were sure you’d bottom out, but it wasn’t until he was deep in your guts that you finally found the end.

Jungkook let out a moan when he was finally inside of you, taking in the feeling of having someone wrapped around him for the first time. And it felt so fucking good, the way your velvet walls sucked him in like they wanted to keep him there forever.

And when you lifted your hips up just to come back down again, he felt another rush to his cock, even harder than he was two seconds ago, which he didn’t realize was even possible. If he was a little more sober, he might’ve started worrying about busting too quickly. But with the way you were bouncing in his lap, grinding down on his dick like that, it was the last thing on his mind. All he could focus on you, and the heat wave that seemed to surround you two, pushing you further into each other, and urging you to give in to those hazy thoughts that arose.

Your moans mixed with his, echoing through the empty room, announcing your sin. It didn’t matter. There was no attempt to quiet down, or any shyness of the lewd squelching sounds coming from between you two. Just pants and smacking skin, littered kisses, and shared body heat.

Jungkook had tugged the top of your dress down, freeing your tits to bounce with you. You were busy littering his neck in bites and nips as you grinded down on his lap, your arousal coating his cock for an easy slide. His hands were everywhere, feeling every inch of you. And you leaned right into it.

“Yn–I’m–fuck–” The only time you kissed Jungkook was when he opened his mouth, breaking the lewd symphony of sounds of you two fucking to warn you he was close. You nodded as you pushed your lips onto his, your tongue immediately finding his.

“Go ahead,” you validated, quickening the pace of your hips. Jungkook let out a curse as he felt his balls tighten, ready to shoot his load up into you. He had to stop himself, get a different location quick. “W-where?” His voice was low but whiny as he asked.

Your eyebrows furrowed a little as you tilted your head, “inside. Duh?”

“Fuck,” Jungkook’s grip around your waist tightened. “Are you sure?” He cursed again when you nodded your consent, wrapping his arm around your waist to hold you still as he buried himself in your cunt with a loud groan, painting your walls in white. You clenched around him, milking him dry, and making sure it didn’t leak back out. Like the dirty girl you were.

You were going to be the death of him.

Jungkook felt a bolt of lightning go through him as you both rode out your highs. It was a feeling he’d never experienced before—not just because it was his first time, but because it was the first time he’d done something he’d chosen to do. No planning or careful curation of future implications involved. Sure, he’d gotten into his fair share of trouble with Taehyung, guided along by their seniors, Jung Hoseok and Kim Namjoon. But this was different. This was with you. And it marked the first time Jungkook let his guard down, and indulged in something he’d wanted to do for a long time.

But as the pants died down, and the breathing leveled, the room fell into a heavy silence. Your head had fallen on his shoulder, passed out from the exertion, and had left Jungkook to bear the weight all by himself.

Fuck fuck fuck. What the fuck did he just do?

—

Watch out for part two! + Let me know your thoughts on this one!

⇀ TAGLIST | MAIN MLIST

Copyright © 2022, yoon2k | tumblr | no reposts, translations, copies, etc

Your tour was a success too. The dates were sold out all over the world, and it felt like you had been touring for years by the end of it when it had only been a couple of months. It was already spring by the time it was all done and you went back to LA right after, choosing not to go home.

You’d heard that your friends had run into trouble with the law over illegal substances again, and you didn’t want to be a part of it. This decision wasn’t made because you wanted to protect your image, but because it hurt to see your friends hitting rock bottom and not being able to help them. Like Jungkook, you’d support them in anything other than hurting themselves.

Hearing your opinion on it or taking your advice wasn’t something they were keen on doing, and that was the only help you could offer, other than listening, but none of them were really interested in talking. Nobody thought they had a problem. For them, doing drugs was just a thing they did, not a problem.

In your mind, that was the worst part of it—not even realizing that you had a problem while everyone around you knew. You felt powerless when you went back there, and it would just make you realize how success and money had no power in real life. You had to watch people suffer and weren’t able to help them, despite being who you were. That’s why you decided to go to your home in LA and stay there for a while, think things through, and try to forget Jungkook.

Months had passed since you’d last seen him, and every day felt like a year. No matter what you were up to, your mind found its way to thoughts about him. Someone would mention a planet, and you’d remember what Jungkook’s associations were to each one of them since he talked about that during one of the nights that you two had spent under the stars.

Someone would talk about tulips, and you’d remember Jungkook picking them for you from the garden and leaving them on the kitchen table so you’d find them when you came down to eat breakfast.

You weren’t sure how so many memories could be created in such a short span of time, but the summer proved you wrong; you’d spent a couple of months together, yet it somehow felt like an eternity, just like the time without him did. Jungkook was in a lot of things around you, despite never being there physically.

It was spring, and to you, it meant that it was almost summer again, and you were still stuck on the same feelings, reminders of Jungkook everywhere you looked, his songs wherever you chose to go, even the gas station, his face plastered across all social media, billboards, t-shirts of passersby on the streets. It was unbelievable that a man you hadn’t even been intimate with was able to cause this sort of emotions in you, this sort of longing that only got worse with time, the need for something you’ve never even felt with him.

He was bad for you in every possible sense—immature at times, unable to handle his own feelings, even less able to deal with them, lost, confused, scared of real life and the consequences of his actions, running and hiding from painful and fearful situations instead of facing them, longing only for passing feelings and experiences, striving to get high again to forget all about his problems. None of that fit into your life, or at least that's how you felt about it last summer.

You didn’t have anything in common other than two facts: you liked each other and you were able to talk freely around one another. That was it. Everything else was different, excruciatingly so.

Since you were finally free from work for a while, you could have gone to any place in the world, you certainly had the means and time to do so, but you had no motivation. What you did was stay in your house, wake up early and go for a walk or a bike ride, have picnics in nature, sit by the river and write new material, and think about how nice it would be to have Jungkook there with you.

Andre came to visit a time or two as a friend, not a manager, and there was no work talk during those visits. You made dinner together, had a bottle of wine, and dined out in your garden, enjoying the quiet sounds of nature, Andre’s watchful eye on you all night. He asked about Jungkook and he knew you still weren’t over it, so he steered clear from the topic.

Once, Andre asked if you two were still in contact, to which you responded negatively and surprised him. Andre thought you two were having some kind of a secret affair and were seeing each other whenever you could, talking all the time, but reality was much sadder than that—you just had feelings for the man without seeing him or talking to him, like a real idiot, after everything he’d been doing.

It was relieving that Jungkook didn’t feel the need to contact you because it meant he was in a good place. He promised he’d text or call when he felt bad, and he hasn’t, so the only conclusion was that he was doing well.

However, seeing his interviews or pictures of him on social media planted a seed of doubt in your mind. Maybe Jungkook wasn’t doing well, but he’d just forgotten all about you and didn’t want to contact you. Jungkook didn’t seem to be in a great mood, he didn’t seem that happy whenever he was off stage, yet he never called. Maybe he’d finally realized what you two knew all along—that you were not meant for each other, and that this thing of yours was just a foolish attempt of getting close to someone.

But then, Jungkook called.

It was early morning and you were down by the river, having coffee and enjoying the rippling of the water in front of you when your phone rang. It was a peaceful morning, like many others, but you didn’t feel at peace. You couldn’t, not when so many things were hanging in the air.

No one you were close with called that early in the morning, and most people texted beforehand to see if you were free, as if you had any sort of life at all. That’s why you picked up right away without looking at the caller ID—you felt that it had to be important if someone was calling that early.

It took Jungkook a while to say hello back, and when he did, he had to clear his throat, and you felt your heart drop to your stomach when you heard his voice. It was him, finally.

A part of you felt so relieved to hear his voice again, talking directly to you, but another part of you was worried sick. Was Jungkook doing bad? Is that why he was calling? You hoped not.

“Hey,” Jungkook sighed and you heard some furniture moving. It sounded like he was pushing his way through some room. You weren’t sure where he was or what time it was there. “I hope it’s not a bad time.”

“Not at all,” you said, your stomach still in a knot over his mental state. “Is everything okay?”

“Oh, yeah, don’t worry about it,” he said, making you relax instantly, finally able to take a real breath. “I know I said I would only call if I’m doing bad, but… I wanted to hear your voice.”

“Ah, that’s…” Sweet? Romantic? Crushing your heart because it was such a stupid decision to walk away from him? You couldn’t say any of that to him and mess this whole thing up even more. “I’m glad you’re doing good.”

“Well, good is a strong word,” Jungkook chuckled, making you do the same. It’d been a long time since you two spoke to each other, and it felt so familiar and real in comparison to the last couple of months. “I’m not calling because I’m going through something, even though we agreed I should only call then. Sorry.”

“No, it’s—” you sighed, realizing that you two discussed this in detail and agreed that it would be better if you both stayed away, yet you clearly couldn’t do it. You were happy to hear Jungkook and to know he was doing well. “It’s nice to hear your voice.”

“Yours too,” he responded without any hesitation, and you knew Jungkook meant it. Whatever doubts plagued your mind dispersed the second you heard his voice. It was still Jungkook, after all, no matter how bad you wanted him to be. Wasn’t it easier to pretend he was a bad guy so you can have an excuse for running away from him? “You’ve been off tour for a while and I couldn’t get any news on you, so this was the only way to hear from you.”

“What do you mean, news on me?” You asked, hoping Jungkook wasn’t actually following news about you in the media, mostly because they wrote a lot of things that weren’t true since it was their way to make a living, attract more readers, and be as dramatic as possible.

You’d had dinner with some famous friends, and there were rumors about you dating one of them just because he happened to be single at the time, even though you two weren’t close at all. In fact, you were a part of the same friend group, but you were closer to the other people there. The guy was an acquaintance, nothing more. Has Jungkook read any of that? You hoped not.

But then, you found yourself asking why you even cared about it. It’s been almost a year since you met him, and nothing has happened. You had every right to date and move on from something that never even took place.

“You know, just stuff online,” Jungkook tried to shrug it off, even though it was a big thing he was admitting to. “It’s not like I can call Andre and ask him how you’re doing.”

You had to laugh at the mental image of Andre’s face in that hypothetical situation. He would be furious if Jungkook tried to contact him, you were sure. You could already imagine him swearing under his breath at the sight of Jungkook’s name on his screen.

“I tried that, though,” he said, making your laughter die down in your throat at the realization that he actually went as far as calling Andre, who Jungkook knew didn’t like him, just to see if you were okay.

“Wait, you did?” You were unsure how to feel about it. On one hand, you found it… sweet. On the other hand, you thought he was thinking about your agreement too much. Did he really think something would happen if he just picked up the phone and called you instead of asking your manager to give him information on you? “Why?”

“Well, you… You asked not to keep in touch, and I, I respect that. Well, I did until today, at least,” Jungkook said with a scoff, and you understood where he was coming from. It sucked not being able to talk to each other when you both wanted it. You thought about calling him all the time, you just never had the guts to do it. If you were being honest, you weren’t sure what you’d tell him when you called. That you missed him? That was out of the question—it would sound crazy.

Jungkook continued talking, and you almost lost focus because of your own thoughts. “So, I didn’t have the option to call you since I thought it would be upsetting, and I really hope it’s not, but you don’t sound upset with me now, so I think I made the right call. Before I knew all this, of course, I just stuck to the news. I’d get to see you that way. It wasn’t in person, sure, but I’d get to know you were alive and well, even though you didn’t seem that well if I’m being honest.”

“I don’t think I was either,” you agreed with a sigh. Andre had been showing signs of concern for a while, and you were now trying to make an effort to be more sociable again and to let people in, which is why the press caught you having brunch with friends. “I’m doing better now.”

“I hope so,” Jungkook said and then continued his previous thought. “Anyway, I was okay with getting an update that way. But then you were done with the tour, and Kijung told me you had some time off, so I knew you wouldn’t show up in the news as much, and I… I had to deal with it,” he chuckled, but you knew it wasn’t funny—he just found himself ridiculous for thinking and doing these things. “But it was too quiet for too long, so I picked up the phone and called Andre.”

“When?” You asked, feeling a tinge of pain in your chest over this whole situation.

Not only did Jungkook feel so terrible about not knowing whether you were okay that he had to call Andre, but Andre didn’t even mention it. Was he really against the idea of you two together that much? Jungkook had his demons, but so did everyone else.

“Just a couple of days ago,” Jungkook admitted, lighting a cigarette. You heard him inhale deeply and, for a second, you wished you had a cigarette too. Then, you wished you two were back at the pavilion together. “He told me that I should call you if I wanted to hear about you since he cannot share this information with me.”

That sounded like Andre all right. Was it that day when Andre asked you about Jungkook? When he mentioned the guys were coming back from tour soon? You couldn’t tell. Time seemed to be standing still when you weren’t working. “I… I don’t know what to say. He didn’t tell me about it.”

“I know, I asked him not to,” Jungkook admitted, surprising you once again. “I told him we agreed not to keep in touch, and that I was overstepping boundaries, so I asked him not to tell you I called, in order not to upset you. Then he just told me that you’ve had better days and hung up, but that only made me worry more, so I had to call.”

“Don’t worry, Jungkook,” you said, your mind still trying to process this whole thing. Why would Andre say that? He knew Jungkook would call you after that—who wouldn’t? Was that his goal all along? “I’m okay. While I was on tour, I had something to keep my mind busy, and now I’m left to my own devices.”

“I get that,” he sighed, and you found a small rock and picked it off the ground, rolling it around with your fingers, finding something to focus on. “That’s how I feel even on tour. The only time I don’t is when I’m on stage, which is pretty often but still, not as often as I’d like.”

“And you’re doing good?” You asked, hoping for a positive response. You could hear Jungkook take another long puff on the other end, and you wondered where he was. Was it day or night? Was he drunk? Lonely? Or was there someone in his bed while he snuck out to light a cigarette and have a talk with you for the first time in months?

“Yes,” he responded right away, sounding eager to convince you that he was doing well. “I mean, all things considered.”

“Okay,” you said, understanding him completely. You were going through the same thing. You had nothing to complain about yet you didn’t feel happy at all. “I’m glad to hear that. How is your mother doing?”

“She’s…” Jungkook paused for a while, and you could hear him exhale deeply. It was a topic he didn't discuss often, which is exactly why you brought it up. You were certain none of his bandmates knew about it, which meant he was bottling it all up. “Same old, I guess. No news is good news, right? She isn’t doing better, but she isn’t doing worse.”

“That’s good,” you tried to sound reassuring, even though you weren’t sure in your own words. You didn’t know how she was doing, what her latest results showed, and if she was even telling Jungkook the truth. “I hope that’s a good sign.”

“Me too. I’ll go see her once we get back. You can come if you want,” he offered, even though his voice gave off his feelings—he knew you’d turn it down.

You couldn’t go see his mother and be that close to him without it hurting even more, but a part of you thought he was asking because he needed support when he went there like he did the last time. This was something he didn’t talk about a lot, but it hurt. Were you going to be there for him or would you run away like a coward again and let him struggle on his own?

“Maybe,” you said, both of you knowing what you actually meant. “I’m glad you’ll go see her, you should, I’m sure it will mean a lot.”

“It will,” Jungkook agreed. “I know I shouldn’t have called but I just… I feel like this agreement of ours is shit, to be honest.”

“And what kind of an agreement would you like to have with me?” You asked, omitting your opinion on the arrangement, your voice quivering the closer you got to the end of the sentence.

For some reason, you felt afraid of his response—what if he said exactly what you wanted to hear? Would you accept? This way, the ball was in his court, and Jungkook could say whatever he wanted.

“Anything other than this,” Jungkook readily responded, as if that didn’t include a million options. “I want to be able to talk to you. See you. Spend time together. Be with you,” Jungkook inhaled sharply, probably realizing he’s crossed the line. “I know that’s a bit too much, but that’s what I want. You can’t get what you want if you don’t ask for it, and I have done everything but ask. Nothing’s changed, even though we haven’t talked in months. So what’s the point of all this? It didn’t help me forget at all. If anything, it made it all worse.”

“I don’t have all the answers,” you said, shaking your head, getting lost in thoughts as you stared at the river, watching it just pass along, not caring about anything in its way, let alone sad people sitting on its banks and looking right at it. “I don’t have any, the more I think about it. I know how you feel. Helpless, kind of. Whatever we do, it doesn’t seem like the right thing.”

“Welcome to my life,” Jungkook joked, but the lack of laughter told you he didn’t find it funny. “I don’t think we’ve made the right choice, that’s all. Are you happy?” He stopped to sigh and then went on, “I know it’s a hard question to answer. In fact, it’s almost impossible, but in general, are you happy with the way things are now? With us?”

Us. The word you dreaded so much yet at the same time found comforting. Us: it meant that you were in this together, no matter how terrible the current situation was. You were not alone.

“No,” you admitted after taking some time to think about it. What was the point of lying when you felt the same way? Jungkook was probably the only person who understood how you felt. “Not really.”

“Me neither,” Jungkook’s confession didn’t do anything to make you feel better. If anything, it made you feel worse because you now knew you were both miserable. “So the decision that was meant to, uh, make us happier, I guess, just didn’t work.”

“It didn’t,” you agreed with Jungkook. “But there’s no real alternative. I mean, there is. We can keep talking every day and just hurt even worse because we can’t be together. You’re there, I’m here, we have our own schedules to adhere to… It’s too much to keep up with.”

“Well, I’d take that over this any day,” Jungkook sounded convinced, even though you were sure talking to each other would make things harder on both of you—it would stop you both from moving on and forgetting, which meant that you’d be stuck on each other for god knows how long without a way out. “Not knowing where you are and how you’re doing sucks. I miss talking to you. I had a lot of fun this summer, but not just fun. Even when we’d talk about serious stuff and it wasn’t fun at all, it felt… Worthwhile, you know? I miss that.”

You sighed, throwing the rock in the river, watching it disappear in the river as if it never existed. “Me too. But this summer was just a small period of time we got to spend together. God knows when we’ll be able to do that again. It could be years until it all fits perfectly, and we have time off at the same time, and we’re able to meet there or anywhere else. And what until then?”

“We can keep talking,” Jungkook suggested, his voice giving off hope. “Isn’t that what we were doing anyway? We weren’t together. We didn’t sleep together or anything like that.”

Jungkook was right, but, he said it himself, even talking felt more intimate than sex with other people. You wouldn’t be able to lead a normal life like everyone else if you talked to him every day. You’d never be able to forget him that way.

“And… What about drugs?” You decided to be straightforward with it.

It was something you wouldn’t be able to look past, no matter the circumstances, not when you knew it was his way of escaping reality and the consequences of his actions. Something like that couldn’t be brushed off.

“I’m clean,” Jungkook immediately said, and you could hear him smiling just by hearing the tone of his voice. He wasn’t lying. “I saw the look on your face at that concert and it made me hate myself even more, even though I know it wasn’t your intention to make me feel like that. So I’ve tried to stay away from it. I do drink from time to time, but nothing too extreme. If I fucked up, you would have already heard about it, you know that. Andre wouldn’t miss the chance to tell you how big of a disappointment I am to his friend.”

“He doesn’t think that of you,” you said, knowing Jungkook probably didn’t care as much of Andre’s opinion as he did of yours. “He just wants me to be happy and is afraid that this would bring more pain than pleasure, I guess. I’m happy to hear that you’re clean, that’s great news for you, it’s a smart decision. Do you feel better?”

“Not really,” Jungkook chuckled and took a puff of his cigarette. “I don’t feel worse, though. It’s something I can live without. It just makes me face shit I don’t want to face, but isn’t that life? Everyone else seems to be able to do it.”

“Good, it really isn’t something that you need,” you said, hoping it didn’t sound like you were preaching again, so you changed the subject. “I’m really happy you called, I have to say that. It’s a relief to talk to you.”

“I feel the same way,” Jungkook said, suddenly sounding more upbeat. “Listen, we’re back in LA in two weeks. We have the final gig there, and then I’m free for at least a month. I’ll stay there for a while, and then I’m going back home. We could meet up and go for a walk or something. Or we could go back home together. I mean, we could travel together, not go home together. You know what I mean.”

“We can… talk about it once you’re back,” you said, agreeing to something so tempting, but something you’d probably end up regretting.

It would be better to talk about it when he got back than now over the phone when you were so filled with emotions when you felt like you were about to cry. You weren’t sure how you felt. Was this a good thing? Would you end up hurt?

“Okay, I’ll call you then,” Jungkook sighed and called you by your name, which made you get butterflies in your stomach like a schoolgirl. “It was nice talking to you.”

“Same here. Take care, Jungkook,” you said and hung up, staring at the water for what seemed like hours, until the sun got so hot you had to move to the shade.

You walked home, still thinking the conversation over, unsure of what exactly you’d agreed to.

Traveling home with Jungkook was out of the question. People would spot you together, someone would make the connection, and this thing of yours would be everywhere. God knows what the media would make of it, but you were certain it wouldn’t be good. People would rip you apart, and you two were already completely capable of doing that on your own. You were scared of it as it was, there was no need to bring anyone else into it.

Besides, who knew if Jungkook would even call when he got back, if something would change along the way. Since traveling with him wasn’t an option, maybe you could take a walk with him by the river—there was no one around most of the time, and the people in your neighborhood didn’t seem to care about you one bit. You’d get to see Jungkook, at least.

The next two weeks flew by for you, mostly because you decided to volunteer with those in need which took up most of your days, but it at least made you focus on the present moment and the people you worked with.

Well, that and watching Puddle of Love’s performances.

Jungkook had only gotten better in the meantime, his voice sounding stronger with every live performance of the songs they’ve written, of the songs you’ve written. It still sounded like he meant every single word he sang, and he moved across the stage with ease, with dominance, like he knew he belonged there.

It was kind of difficult for you to accept that that wasn’t a byproduct of drug use, but you had to take Jungkook’s word for it. He said he wasn’t using, and you could either believe him or not.

During the two weeks, you asked Andre to join you for brunch in the city one day and told him that you’d meet up with Jungkook when he came back.

Surprisingly, Andre didn’t seem upset over it but just asked you not to do anything stupid, and you weren’t sure what he meant by that exactly. Even meeting up with Jungkook was stupid, but he didn’t say that.

Your friends weren’t in on this decision, mostly because you haven’t even decided what it meant, and you were sure Jungkook felt the same thing. You’d see when you got there, and there was no need to talk about this before you two decided anything together.

Jungkook called the minute they landed at the airport—you could hear airport sounds in the background and the rest of the band talking about something.

He wanted to meet up right away, even though it was early morning and they had to rest before the concert the next day. You asked him to wait until the tour was over and he had some time to himself, which he agreed to, even though unwillingly.

You knew Jungkook was hoping you’d tell him to come to your place and spend the night with you instead of going to the hotel with the guys, but you knew better than that—it wouldn’t help either one of you. However, the thought did cross your mind at least a couple of times. Sleeping with him was always a tempting option, which is why you didn’t want to do it before you two discussed everything.

Just this concert and Jungkook was off tour, free to do whatever he wanted, and so were you. Then, you two would get to meet up and talk about all of this.

You debated going to the concert but decided it wouldn’t be that smart of a decision, so you stayed home and went to bed around the same time the concert started like you did every night. You couldn’t fall asleep easily, the excitement kept you up, the realization that you would see Jungkook soon, that you’d be able to spend time with him—thoughts running through your mind all the time, not letting you rest.

Finally, you fell asleep, and you weren’t sure how long you slept when a phone call woke you up. Nobody called you in the middle of the night, nobody. None of your friends lived hectic lives, and everyone you knew was asleep at that time, except maybe Hoseok who was the partying type, but even he was starting to settle down.

The only person it could be was Jungkook, and you weren’t sure why he’d want to wake you up in the middle of the night, but when you grabbed your phone and saw that it wasn’t Jungkook, you shivered with fear. Andre’s name was flashing on your screen, and you knew in your gut he had some bad news.

“What’s wrong?” You picked up with those words, wanting to know right away, fearing the worst.

“Puddle of Love,” Andre said, out of breath. “They’ve had an accident. Some sort of car crash, a drunk driver crashed into their car, I don’t know all the details. They were in a van, I don’t know who was there with them. A friend of mine from the company called, it's all over the news.”

“Jungkook?” You asked, even though you were worried about all of them, but you never wanted anything bad to happen to him. You wouldn’t be able to handle it.

Your mind was focused only on Jungkook as you got up and got dressed, even though you didn’t know where they were and how in the hell you were going to get to him. You put Andre on speaker and got into the first pair of pants and shirt you could find.

“I don’t know,” Andre said, his voice sounding shaky. “They’re being transported to the hospital on 6th. There appear to be some casualties, but this is not the time to panic, okay? I can’t reach Kijung or any of them.”

“I’m going there,” you said, grabbing your bag and phone and running to the shoe closet. “This can’t be happening.”

“It is,” Andre sighed. “I don’t think you should go. They can’t just let you in or give you any information on them. We have to wait for someone from the company to get there and then we’ll know more. Or for Kijung to pick up. But if he’s not okay, he won’t pick up.”

“They have to be okay, they have to,” you said, grabbing the keys from the bowl on the chest of drawers in the hallway. “I’m on my way there.”

You hung up on your manager and rushed to the hospital, knowing it would take you around 40 minutes to get there. It was early morning so there wasn’t any traffic, but the quiet only made things worse.

Jungkook, Jungkook, Jungkook. That’s all that you kept thinking about. He had to be okay, he had to. The rest of them too, they just couldn’t get hurt. It was all surreal. You read about things like this happening, huge tragedies for other people, but never for you. It never happened in real life, so you had the idea that it was somewhere far away.

It couldn’t happen to them.

You drove towards the hospital with tears in your eyes, your body stiff, fear washing over you with every second you spent not knowing how he was doing. You remembered that you could try to call Jungkook, but the call got disconnected right away, making your stomach turn with fear. You tried the rest of Puddle of Love, too, but the same thing happened.

You left the car in front of the hospital, forgetting to pay for the parking, to lock the car, to do anything other than to rush inside and look for them. You noticed reporters as soon as you got there, but you couldn’t get yourself to care—you only cared about their safety. They could report on it all they liked.

It felt like someone was taking pictures, but you didn’t want to say anything. Your focus was solely on trying to spot a member of the staff so you could ask them where you could find any of the band members or the manager, but nobody seemed to be working there.

They were all visitors, patients, reporters, and you felt lost. It seemed like the world was rushing, spinning around, and you were just standing there, unable to speak up, ignored by everyone around.

You finally saw a nurse and asked her where Puddle of Love were, but she told you that information was private and she couldn’t share it. You asked for any kind of information on them, but she refused again and looked at you like you were some kind of a crazy fan.

It was like watching a movie—it wasn’t you who was talking, you weren’t the person who grabbed this woman by her shoulders and begged her to tell you, asking her to check who you were if she didn’t believe you. You only stopped when you noticed the look of fear in her eyes—she was afraid of you. You probably looked deranged, out of your mind with fear, never wanting to hear news of this kind, and this woman didn’t know you at all, so no wonder she was afraid.

As if the woman was scared of you, she whispered the words “second floor” and got away from you as fast as she could, looking over her shoulder twice to make sure you weren’t following her.

You were too busy pushing the elevator button to even look at her. Your only thought was to get to the second floor and make sure they were okay. The second floor was teeming with reporters, just like the lobby, and you made your way through the crowd just to find the door to the hospital wing closed and a doctor standing there talking to some people, explaining how he couldn’t give any information.

You walked up to the doctor and asked him about Puddle of Love, and he looked at you like you were insane. You asked again, this time even you noticing how much your voice was shaking—you were just too scared of it all and you wanted someone to tell you how they were doing.

You just wanted to hear he was okay. You didn’t need details, you didn’t need to go inside to see him, even though you’d love that.

“Oh, Miss Dawn, sorry, I didn’t recognize you at first,” the doctor said, clearly familiar with you. “My daughter is a big fan of yours!” The look on your face must have told him this was no place or time for anything like this because he cleared his throat and leaned in. “You know I can’t share confidential information about patients with anyone who’s not family, even if it’s you.”

“I know, I just want to know if they’re alive,” you blurted out in desperation. “We work closely together, please ask them, they will confirm, I have no reason to lie about this to you, I swear to God. I just want to know how they are doing. You, listen, you can ask Kijung Yoo, their manager. Please, just let me know.”

The fear you felt was real, and you guessed the doctor saw it in your eyes because he told you he’d go check and let you know. You waited by the door, aware of the camera shutters clicking behind you, someone trying to get a good shot for their story and earn some money off a tragedy. Jungkook was right, you should never let them smell a drop of blood.

You heard footsteps behind the door and hoped it was the doctor bringing you some news, but it was someone else who closed the door behind them as fast as they could, not letting you take a peek to check if you could see anyone you knew. One of them had to be conscious, just one. Someone had to be okay enough to let you know if Jungkook was alive and well.

The minutes seemed like hours, even though you were sure the doctor would be as quick as possible because he surely had better things to do. The next person to leave was a nurse who was pushing some sort of a trolley and she wasn’t able to close the door right away, which let you look inside, even though she reprimanded you for doing so.

You were just about to apologize for your childish and desperate action when you spotted him, and a huge sigh of relief left your body since he was standing. In fact, Jungkook was walking over you, the doctor you’d spoken to earlier a couple of feet behind him as Jungkook made his way towards you.

Without thinking about the repercussions, you screamed out his name and ran towards him, into the hospital ward, despite knowing you weren’t supposed to be there and that all those reporters would see you and, more importantly, have photographic evidence of you running into Jungkook’s arms and hugging him tightly.

You never wanted to let go of him, it was as simple as that. He was alive, he was standing, he was okay. You didn’t lose him for good. He was right there, holding you, breathing heavily, hissing as you wrapped your arms around him harder.

“Watch out, watch out,” Jungkook whispered and you instantly let go of him, realizing you were hurting him.

The nurse closed the door behind you and yelled at you for walking in, but Jungkook raised his arm and said you were there with them, which made her back off and leave like she first intended to. You were sure there were people behind Jungkook, but you didn’t look away from him for one second once you finally moved away from the hug and looked into his eyes. His face was bruised a bit, and a cut on his forehead was stitched up. His hand was in a cast, but other than that, he seemed okay.

“Are you okay?” You asked, gulping, your hands on his shoulders, feeling unable to look away. The fear was slowly wearing off now that you knew he was safe.

“I am, don’t worry,” Jungkook nodded reassuringly. “Just a bit bruised up all over, but I’ll be fine.”

“And the rest of them?” You asked, remembering that you haven’t heard a word about his band members or manager.

“A broken leg, some cracked ribs, but all in all, we’re good,” he moved away, taking your hand and leading you to a couple of chairs so you could sit down. “Don’t worry, we’re all alive. Go home and don’t worry, you shouldn’t be here.”

You scoffed, almost rolling your eyes. “Jungkook, I thought you were dead,” you shook your head at him. “I can’t not worry. I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t be here, but I wanted to come see how you were doing. Andre didn’t know anything, we couldn’t reach you guys, and I just wanted to see you.”

“And I appreciate that, I really do,” he said, reaching out to place a hand above your knee and squeeze it gently. “Seeing you has made this night a lot easier. I’ll go back inside to check on Namjoon, he’s taken the worst hit. They won’t let you in. I’m not even sure you should be here, but I am glad you are. You… You do know there are reporters outside? And they’ve seen us hug?”

“I don’t care,” you said, shrugging. You really did mean it—who cared about the media, the stories, your career in moments when you feared for his life? You’d probably feel bad about it tomorrow, but not tonight. “You’re alive, I’m okay with it. I’ll think about the press tomorrow.”

“I’m sorry you got scared over it,” Jungkook sighed, resting his head against the cold wall behind you two. “It fucking sucked, clearly, but we’re good. The people in the car… I don’t think they got off so lightly. From what I’ve heard, it’s just some drunk kids,” he gulped, stopping for a second, clearly remembering the details of the crash. “I feel bad for them, I’m sure they didn’t deserve it.”

“Nobody does,” you said, sighing and placing your hand over his. “It’s a sad thing. I’m glad you’re okay. You seem awfully calm despite everything. Are you sure everything’s okay?”

“I…” Jungkook licked his lips and leaned in, the look on his face telling you he was hiding something. “We’re good… We had a spliff before we got in the van, just to… Relax. I’m glad we did because I’m sure things would be a lot harder now.”

For some reason, hearing him say it sobered you up from fear and desperation completely. It felt like someone had poured cold water over you.

Jungkook was high.

You knew he didn’t just take a puff or two, none of them ever did. They got high before going to their hotel, for some reason giving up on partying. Or were they going to a party? Either way, they were under the influence.

Despite it all, Jungkook was still getting high. He lied to you. He was okay, thankfully, and there were no serious consequences for him, but Jungkook was high.

It wasn’t anything harder than that, but still, it was something he said he was no longer doing. Why now? This was the last concert. A day more and you could have seen each other, discussed it one last time, and decided where to take this thing.

“You’re right, I shouldn’t be here,” you said, getting up, making Jungkook wince.

It was clear that he understood why there was such a change in your behavior, but you couldn’t care about it right then. You were done trying to tiptoe around Jungkook’s feelings when he cared so little about yours.

“I’m sorry,” Jungkook got up and followed you. “It was the final concert. It’s nothing, I swear. I’m good.”

You faced him, your eyes stinging, the fear of bursting into tears becoming stronger. You couldn’t let him see you cry over this. He already had enough on his plate with this crash and him and his friends being hurt. Luckily, they were alive, but they were still hurt and traumatized after surviving that sort of crash. Still, he lied to you, and him being a part of the accident didn’t change that.

“I’m glad you’re good, Jungkook,” you said, taking a step back. “Say hi to everyone for me. It was nice seeing you, but I don’t think we should see each other again. I think you should go home and be with your mom and stay away from… the shit you’re into.”

Jungkook opened his mouth to say something, but then he closed it, gulping. “You’re right, I fucking suck, and you can just say it. In my mind, weed’s not a big deal, and I’m not in a bad place at all, trust me. I didn’t use it to get out of a bad place or run away from things. If anything, I have every reason to be happy—I’m getting to see you soon.”

“Then why do it?” You shrugged, completely lost, feeling like you were about to break down in front of him. You wanted to scream out of frustration and hit the wall with your fists until they hurt more than your insides. It felt like the one thing you were hoping for was gone just like that because of fucking weed. “Why? You never would have told me if this hadn’t happened, right? You would have lied.”

“I…” Jungkook looked down at the floor and then back at you. “Maybe. I don’t think it’s such a big deal. It’s not the real thing. What you’ve seen me on wasn’t weed, I know you know that. That shit messes with you, this doesn’t.”

“I think you have a problem, Jungkook,” you said, patting him on the shoulder. “Take care of yourself, okay?”

“Wait, are we—?” Jungkook started the question but stopped mid-sentence. “Our… deal is off?”

“I don’t see a point in meeting up,” you admitted, fighting back the urge to cry.

There was no point in doing this anymore if he couldn’t keep his story straight. Jungkook clearly felt the need to lie to you, which was a sign that your thing would never work. If anything, you thought that he’d never lie—he always seemed honest, even when he shouldn’t have been, until tonight.

Jungkook nodded, suddenly seeming older, more serious, somber even. It was as if your decision had suddenly sobered him up too.

You turned around and left, walking over to the door before stopping to turn around and take one last look at him. Jungkook was still standing here, dressed in leather, bruised up, hand in a cast, the look on his face giving off despair.

You felt the same way, so you left, suddenly faced with cameras that were being shoved in your face as reporters screamed the questions at you, all of them dying to hear what you were doing with Jungkook and how the rest of Puddle of Love were doing.

You did your best to ignore them and not to break down until you reached your car and drove off. Tears started to stream down your face slowly, but the further you drove, the more you cried, and you had to stop on the side of the road to cry until you cried it all out, chest empty, no feelings left.

Of course, when you woke up, you found your face plastered across all social media along with Jungkook’s. Since all the members of Puddle of Love were okay, and so were their crew members and manager, the press had to find the next big scandal, which was you and Jungkook.

You made the mistake of running into his arms and hugging him while the ward door was open, which allowed some of them to take pictures. It was a mess.

You had tons of missed calls, texts, your inbox was full, and you had nowhere to run from all that attention, so you shut your phone off, locked yourself inside the house, and had a day of pampering. Well, if brooding around your house, spending hours in the tub, and then in the garden could be called pampering, that was it. You just felt like you needed a break.

Last night was terrifying from start to finish—first, you feared for Jungkook’s life and the life of those close to him, and then once you found out they were alright, you had to face the fact that this thing of yours was over. It truly was, no matter how much that hurt.

You hoped it would work out, you really did, and it was on your mind ever since Jungkook had called weeks ago, telling you he’d be coming back. There was a sliver of hope and it made you believe in you two despite the odds.

You've been holding on to it since the summer, wanting something good to come out of it after all, hoping it wouldn’t be in vain. It couldn’t have been for nothing, right? That’s what kept you holding onto it for so long.

Jungkook made an effort, he said he was clean, and he still thought about you months after you two had spent the last day on the island together. That was something. It was a lot, actually, considering how you thought he’d get over you the second he left the villa.

You’d expected him to forget, to find a new occupation, to think of you as one of many, but he proved you wrong.

After all of that, those long months of quiet suffering, the uncertainty, the heartbreak, you finally had a chance and it all came to an end last night.

He was high.

After everything that’s happened, it was a habit that he couldn’t kick and you needed to let Jungkook go.

You knew that nobody could change people, only they could change themselves. Jungkook clearly didn’t feel the need to, and you had to walk away.

Being into your friend’s boyfriend was wrong, you knew that.

Wanting to fuck him? That was just vile.

Still, it wasn’t something that you could help. It wasn’t like you could magically stop thinking the dude was the hottest man that’s ever graced planet Earth or stop wondering how it would feel to even touch him. It just wasn’t happening, your mind wasn’t letting go.

Of course, you’d never act on those urges. It was fine, you were used to it. Hana always got the best of the best and you were stuck with the rest—that was actually a running joke between the two of you, friends from elementary school.

She, an attractive rich girl who loved to experiment, mostly because she always got everything she wanted and quickly got bored of it. Because of this, she always tried to find new things to try and rebel against her family. You, on the other hand, never felt as attractive or wealthy as her, least of all adventurous.

While Hana was no stranger to one-night stands, threesomes, and things you blushed even hearing about, you stuck to monogamy and sex with people you had at least some kind of feelings for. Well, almost always.

You rarely felt crazy attraction towards someone, so you dated guys who seemed nice and thoughtful. Sex was secondary anyway, right?

You’d never even met a guy who could get you to have an orgasm and you knew it was all in your head. Hana told you so herself—it’s not the guy’s fault you can’t relax. Just tell him what you want and he’ll do it and get you to come. If you just lay there and let him play, he’ll never get it right.

She was wise, you had to give her that, but it just wasn’t happening for you, mostly because you were never that sexually attracted to guys you dated in the first place.

You rarely felt that towards anyone, until you met Hana’s new toy, Jungkook.

Usually, Hana dated really hot guys that quite frankly disgusted you. They were mostly full of themselves, the real bad-boy type that her father hated, but she seemed to be having fun, so you weren’t going to talk her out of it. Besides, she was never the one to get hurt in those flings of hers, so there was nothing to worry about. The point was, these guys were just not your type.

This time, it was different.

When she introduced you to Jungkook, which happened on their first date, surprisingly, your breath hitched in your throat. How wouldn’t it?

He was tall, dark-haired, attractive with a killer smile, huge eyes, and a rarely seen charisma. You were having coffee with her before her date and he arrived early, so you couldn’t avoid shaking his hand and meeting him.

To your surprise, Jungkook asked you to stay with them for a while, so you did, trying so fucking hard not to drool right in front of your friend and her date. You never did get why he wanted you to stay for an hour during their first date because it was real torture. Of course, you were happy that your friend scored a date with a guy that handsome and charming. On the other hand, you were jealous because you couldn’t do the same.

What was even worse was that Hana not only slept with him that same day but told you all about it. Jungkook was not only charming and attractive but he could also make her come and was hung. Life just wasn’t fair for you, it seemed.

Five days later, Hana told you that you were coming with her to a party where she’d meet up with Jungkook. You were totally against the idea, mostly because you didn’t want to be the third wheel, but also because you didn’t want to be close to Jungkook again and smell his cologne and think about him fucking you, but there was no saying no to Hana, so you had no choice.

Jungkook brought a friend, Taehyung, and even though he was also nice and charming, you couldn’t even focus on him when he was right next to Jungkook.

What was even worse was that Taehyung and Hana were in the mood for dancing, so they spent most of the night doing just that while Jungkook decided to get to know you better. The conversation felt more like an interrogation and it seemed like he wanted to know everything about you, but you knew he wasn’t interested.

Jungkook was clearly into Hana and wanted to get on your good side since you were her best friend, so you answered his questions and slowly let him into your life.

That was four long months ago. During those four months, you managed to hook up with Taehyung once you realized you had to quench your thirst for Jungkook somehow. It just wasn’t right. The worst part about it was that you were starting to feel like he was into you too, which was impossible. Hana and he weren’t exactly the most serious couple out there and their hanging out was either in a group of friends or them fucking, but still—he was her boyfriend.

Taehyung was a great guy, really handsome, way out of your league, and the sex was great, but you just couldn’t come. You couldn’t get yourself to explain to Taehyung what exactly felt good for you and what didn’t, so you just lay there and let him play, as your friend put it. Besides, the fact that you had Jungkook on your mind probably didn’t help Taehyung’s case either. It wasn’t his fault.

The worst part about it? Jungkook found out and talked to you about it at a party Hana dragged you to a long while ago. It seemed like Jungkook and you always spent most of the time at these parties together, getting to know each other better, while Hana danced around and remembered Jungkook existed when it was time to get dicked down, as she politely put it.

“You’re not really into Taehyung, are you?” Jungkook asked that night, watching you over the rim of the glass that was pressed to his lips a second ago. You knew he’d find out about it since he was close to both Hana and Taehyung, but you really didn’t expect him to ask you about it so openly.

“W-why do you think that?” You tried to seem confused, hoping he wouldn’t take it there.

“He told me he couldn’t make you come,” Jungkook went there with a smirk, shamelessly, like you two were life-long friends. “So the first thing that came to mind was that you’re just not that into him.”

“No!” You quickly said and the tone of your voice made Jungkook flinch. “I mean, he’s a great guy, really. There’s nothing wrong with him. He’s probably the most handsome guy I’ve ever been with, if I’m honest.”

“Okay, so you two aren’t compatible then…” Jungkook cocked his head to the side and seemed lost in thought for a second or two. “Who’s the most compatible dude you’ve been with?”

“Uhm,” you gulped, afraid of telling Jungkook that nobody has made you come other than yourself and the vibrator his girlfriend got you for your birthday many years ago. “There weren’t th-that many.”

By this point, you’d gotten close to Jungkook, mostly because Hana kept teasing you about private stuff in front of him. You couldn’t blame her—that’s just how she functioned. She’d talk about very private stuff in front of the two of you, and it felt like that connected your little friend group. So, Jungkook already knew your sex life wasn’t that great and that you weren’t into one-night stands. Of course, then you slept with his friend to try to forget him, which didn’t really work the way you planned.

The only problem was, you were so fucking into Jungkook that you got yourself off on thinking about him, especially after you danced with him that one night and he hugged you from behind, letting you feel his boner pressing against your back. You didn’t think it was because of you, of course. Hana was right there with you, wearing a dress that showed a lot more than it covered, and you were sure Jungkook’s massive dick was just reacting to that. You just happened to be in its way, that was all.

“Okay, so none,” Jungkook chuckled, catching you in your lie, which made you look away quickly. “Well, too bad. Taehyung’s the second-best guy I know at pleasuring women. I’ve always heard solely rave reviews from girls who wanted more of him.”

“Who’s the first?” You couldn’t help but ask. What if this friend was someone you found even more attractive than Jungkook? Maybe that was the answer.

“Me,” Jungkook looked you straight in the eyes, this time without the chuckling, which made you think he was serious. You could only wish.

“Too bad,” you responded, unsure of what came over you.

Jungkook smirked and downed the rest of his drink before clearing his throat. “We’ll think of something.”

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

And think of something he did, even if it happened months later. Hana’s proposition was replaying in your head as you walked home from work, unable to calm yourself down, unsure of what you wanted to do about it.

She’d dropped by the cafe where you worked on her way to pick up Jungkook’s birthday present, some expensive watch you were sure he wouldn’t even wear. He wasn’t a watch guy, but Hana missed that somehow. Well, you’d probably miss everything about him if you could get his dick whenever you wanted, so you couldn’t blame her for being unable to focus.

The thing was, Hana’s present included something else—you.

“M-me?” You stuttered and sat down across from her, lowering your voice to make sure no one in the cafe could hear you. It was that, and you felt weak in the knees at the very thought of being fucked by Jungkook. “Are you out of your mind?”

“What?” She frowned at you and then waved her hand. “Listen, we talked about having a threesome with a girl. I don’t want some random stranger with us, and neither does Jungkook. I asked him about it and he chose you.”

“I, I can’t do that,” you sighed loudly, feeling like your mind would explode. Here it was, the perfect chance to have your cake and eat it too. You’d get to fuck Jungkook, and it wouldn’t be cheating, you wouldn’t hurt your friend, and you wouldn’t feel bad afterward. But, it was Hana and it was Jungkook and it was you. “We’re all friends.”

“So?” She didn’t get your point, as per usual. Hana was one of those people who took sex as an essential, mundane part of life. She could have sex with someone and then treat them like a friend and introduce them to new potential partners and be totally fine with it, which wasn’t how you functioned. “It’s not like we haven’t done that before.”

“You said you wouldn’t mention that, especially not in public,” you hissed at her, remembering the night she was talking about. It was a long time ago, but you still remembered it clearly.

“Relax, you’ve already run all the customers off with that fake smile you put on,” Hana chuckled, knowing she was right. “No one can hear me, dude. So?”

What she was talking about happened a while back, when you were both single. You went out, got drunk, and started talking to a group of friends but you both had your eye on the same guy. While you were in the bathroom, Hana suggested that you two just fucked him instead of trying to figure out who’d get to date him or anything like that.

You, being the moral paragon that held your friendship in place, opposed the idea but she talked you into it. You weren’t sure what made you change your mind—the alcohol, the fact that the guy was really that good-looking, or pure curiosity stemming from years of wondering how Hana gets so many guys wrapped around your fingers.

“What about Jeonghun?” You mentioned your boyfriend.

Well, not exactly a boyfriend.

He was more of a guy you slept with a month ago, once you realized that your insane crush on Jungkook was pointless and that it was ruining your social life. You tried it with Taehyung a couple of months earlier but it didn’t work. Then, you decided to stay single, but hanging around Jungkook was driving you wild, so you thought it was time to put yourself out there and meet someone.

After sleeping with Jeonghun, you couldn’t accept that it was a one-night stand, so you kept dating him, even though the sex wasn’t that great and, as Jungkook liked to say, you just weren’t that compatible.

“Well, considering he wasn’t even the first obstacle that came to your mind, I’d say your thing isn’t exactly it,” Hana shrugged, knowing she was making a good point. You had no real obligation towards the dude and were, in fact, just dragging it out so you would feel better about sleeping with him so early on. It was a move of a desperate, horny woman who couldn’t get what she wanted… until Hana’s offer, that is. “Besides, I know you’re into Jungkook. You told me you think he’s hot, smart, attractive, and funny, and that’s more than you’ve said about any other guy you know. They’re always missing something and Jungkook has it all. So, why not do it?”

“I don’t want shit to go wrong,” you admitted what you were really feeling, as you knew your friend wouldn’t hold it against you. “I love you so much, you’re my favorite person in the world, and if this would jeopardize our friendship in any way, it’s not a good idea.”

“Babe, I love you too,” Hana reached out and grabbed your hand, gently squeezing it. “That’s exactly why I want this to be you and not some random girl we don’t know. Besides, it’s what Jungkook wants. Who am I to stand in his way?”

“How are you okay with a threesome being Jungkook’s present?” You asked, feeling curious about it.

Was Jungkook the type of guy who didn’t do monogamy? Judging by his birthday request, it seemed so, which suited you as it made him less appealing in your eyes. You couldn’t imagine being in a relationship with a guy who asked you to have a threesome with your friends.

“Well, he got me the same thing,” Hana grinned as if she didn’t just give you the shock of your life.

“He what?” Your mouth dropped open in surprise as this was something you were not in on. “What? This happened a month ago and you didn’t tell me?”

“No, no,” she shook her head at you and laughed. “We talked about it on my birthday. I told him I really dig Jimin. The way he moves… You know. And Jungkook said he could talk to him if that’s what I really wanted. So it happened last week. Now I’m getting the feeling that Jungkook only said yes to that so he could have this. But why not? We’re only young once, we’re all friends, and trust me, if you need good sex, Jungkook is it. So, Saturday?”

You’d told her you’d think about it because Hana wasn’t leaving until she got an answer from you. After all, if you said no, her plan for his birthday present would fall through and she had to think of something else. You understood her position, but you also worried about it greatly.

The cons of this were endless: your friendship with her could suffer, your friendship with Jungkook could suffer, you could fall for Jungkook even more and become desperate, their relationship could break up because of something like this, one or more of you could end up regretting it.

The only pro of the whole thing was that you’d get to sleep with Jungkook, and that was something you really wanted ever since you first saw him. It was immoral, wrong, and it made you hate yourself whenever you thought of him that way, which is why this opportunity seemed a lot more appealing than it should have.

And then, Jungkook texted you, making your decision even harder.

Jungkook: it’s not exactly a surprise if i know about it, but i’ve heard you aren’t that into the idea

Jungkook: there’s no pressure, for real, don’t worry about it if you’re not interested!!

Jungkook: BUT

Jungkook: if you’re just worried about it going wrong or about something getting fucked up in the process, just relax

Jungkook: i’d really like to get this present :)

Jungkook: and you have to try the number one guy who can make you come, just saying

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

The party was great, yeah, but there was no way you could focus on anything other than your plans with your favorite couple. You drank enough to feel tipsy but not too much to not know what you were doing, but it still didn’t help—all you could think about was that you were going to fuck Jungkook right in front of your friend.

It didn’t help that Hana felt like dancing again—this time with Jimin, you couldn’t help but notice—so you and Jungkook spent most of the time by the table. Luckily, his friends were around too since it was his birthday, which meant you two weren’t alone. Your nerves were getting the better of you and you weren’t sure what you’d tell Jungkook if you were left alone.

But then, Jungkook asked you to dance in front of everyone, and even though you told him you weren’t feeling like dancing, he asked you to do him a favor for his birthday. You couldn’t say no to that, not in front of all his friends.

When you got on the dancefloor, Jungkook actually danced, as if nothing was going on, so you did the same, deciding not to be the first one to address this thing. You hadn’t responded to his texts.

Instead, you phoned Hana and discussed the whole thing with her before finally agreeing to it.

“You need to relax,” he leaned in to tell you. “Everyone can tell something’s up.”

“Nothing’s up,” you shook your head and faked a grin.

“You know you can always change your mind, right?” Jungkook wrapped his hands around your waist, which made your insides tingle. Why the fuck was he touching you like that? It didn’t help that you were wearing a crop top, which meant his hands were directly on your skin, allowing you to feel his warmth. “What are you so nervous about?”

“I don’t know,” you sighed and leaned in a bit so you could have a somewhat private conversation, even though you both had to raise your voices to be able to hear each other. “I’m not used to doing these things.”

“Being… promiscuous?” Jungkook cocked an eyebrow up and grinned. “I know, don’t worry. As long as you want it, it’s fine. If you don’t, it’s also fine. Just say what you want…”

“No, I….” You took a deep breath, realizing you’d have to say it. “I do want it.”

“Good,” Jungkook grinned. “I want it too. Don’t worry,” he reached in and moved a strand of hair behind your ear, his other hand still on your waist. “I’ll treat you nicely… You know you’re a special friend to me.”

“Do you, uh, treat all your friends this way?” You asked, not knowing what took over you. Who were you to ask him something like that? It wasn’t your place to even think about it, let alone say it. If Hana didn’t worry about this, why did you?

Jungkook seemed taken aback by the question, but he quickly recovered. “No, I don’t. But I don’t usually ask friends to stay on my first date either. And I don’t ask to fuck them. It’s just you.”

You nodded, unsure of how to respond to that. You weren’t going to start believing you were special to him in any way. The two of them clearly had an open relationship and were together solely because of the sex, and you just happened to be around when they were looking for someone to join, that was all.

“Anyway, this party’s cool and all but I can’t wait until we get home,” Jungkook looked straight into your eyes when he said that, and you couldn’t help but agree, despite all the anxiety you were feeling.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

So, when you found yourself in Jungkook’s apartment hours later, you felt like your heart was going to explode from all the worrying you’d done.

There was nothing to worry about. The two of them acted like this was a regular night and nothing special was going on. Jungkook went to take a shower and Hana and you had a drink while you waited, during which she poured you both drinks and tried to get you to relax and not worry about anything.

“Please, let me know if you want to back out,” she patted your thigh with a grin. “Like, it’s not a problem. Clearly, Jungkook wants this, but it’s only a good idea if you’re both into it, so don’t worry about disappointing him or me or anything like that. And don’t worry about anything else if you want this, really.”

“What about you?” You asked one last time, still feeling uneasy about sleeping with your best friend’s boyfriend, but she didn’t seem moved at all.

“I told you, I’m fine with it,” Hana chuckled. “Didn’t I suggest this? Jungkook would never ask you this himself, you know that, right? He has a lot of respect for you. I first had to convince him to let me ask you about it, and then I had to convince you to say yes, but I know you both want to fuck each other.”

“He does?” You asked, feeling a bit confused. Jungkook respected you? You thought you never even crossed his mind when you weren’t around.

“Jungkook safeguards you all the time,” she leaned in and cocked an eyebrow up. “If any of his friends say something about you, he’s always there to cut them short. Sometimes I feel like he protects your reputation more than he does mine,” this thought made her chuckle even more. “Not that I have a reputation to begin with.”

“Ah, stop saying that,” you shrugged it all off, even though it was hard to stop thinking about Jungkook standing up for you when you weren’t there.

Jungkook came back wrapped in a towel and suggested you go take a shower next, which you gladly accepted. There was no way you were getting it on right after dancing at the club. The shower helped you relax since you at least felt clean after it, even though your mind and heart were still racing.

You left the bathroom wrapped in a towel, unsure of what was expected of you. This schedule meant that you were alone with Jungkook when it was Hana’s turn, and you found it hard not to stare at him sitting there half-naked, only a towel separating you from his cock.

This was also the first time you got to see all his tattoos and his chiseled chest. God really had his favorites, that much was clear from one look at half-naked Jungkook.

Jungkook placed his hand on your thigh and squeezed it when he noticed you were getting lost in thought, and his touch made you shiver. You weren’t expecting him to be so straightforward right away. “Hey, you okay?”

You nodded right away before sighing because you knew it was pointless to try to lie to Jungkook who already knew you well. “Yeah, I’m just nervous… You know me.”

“I do,” he grinned, clearly not feeling the same way as you. You wished you could be the kind of person who doesn’t get nervous about fucking friends, but alas, there were things you couldn’t change. “If you change your mind, we can stop at any point. It’s supposed to be something fun, not something that worries you this much.”

You nodded again, completely understanding where he was coming from. Jungkook wasn’t going to go through with this thing if you looked so unenthusiastic about it. Threesomes were all about three people having fun and not two people loving it and one being an anxious horny idiot.

“I get that you like to be all moral and shit and that you feel bad because Hana and I are dating,” Jungkook said, which made you look at him again. He did? “But don’t feel that way. If you think seeing us fuck will hurt your friend, you don’t know her as well as you think you do. She won’t care. Besides, she wanted a go at my friend, so it’s fair game.”

You gulped loudly, understanding that you didn’t know as much about the two of them as you thought, after all. This thing of theirs clearly wasn’t as monogamous as you first thought. But, you were sure Jimin didn’t drool over Hana as much as you did over Jungkook. Luckily, neither one of them was aware of that pathetic fact.

“Okay. I just don’t want to fuck things up for anyone here, including me.”

“What’s there to fuck up?” Jungkook asked as he scooted over and wrapped his hand around your shoulders, pulling you in.

There he went again, acting like you two touched each other on a daily basis and like you were used to his touch when, in fact, your body was starting to burn up wherever he was that close to you. Jungkook didn’t stop there.

Instead, he reached in to lift your chin and get you to look straight into your eyes. “We’re friends, right?”

You nodded, finding it hard to look away from his eyes. He was finally so close to you, naked under that towel, and he wanted to fuck you. Out of everyone he could think of to join them, Jungkook thought of you. That meant something, right?

“Friends can fuck and stay friends,” Jungkook licked his lips. “Hana and I will be alright if that’s what you’re worried about. Clearly, neither one of us is looking at this as endgame, so we’re letting each other… enjoy. And Hana and you are a lot closer than anyone I know, so I’m sure nothing will happen between you two. You do know that we have discussed this in detail and we agreed to do it just because we know it won’t change our relationship with each other or you?”

“Yes,” you nodded, as Hana did explain that to you more than once. In fact, she mentioned it whenever you came up with a different scenario that somehow always ended in you two not talking. Your friend was completely convinced that you sleeping with her boyfriend wouldn’t change a thing about your or their relationship, just like her sleeping with Jimin didn’t affect their friendship and relationship. “It’s fine.”

“Okay,” Jungkook smiled, seemingly happy with your response. “Then why don’t you come sit on me? You’re all tense, and you should relax.”

“S-sit on you?” You asked, feeling dumb for stuttering but also unable to control your voice. You were naked under your towel, and so was he. “And Hana?”

“She said she’d take a bath while I got you to relax,” Jungkook explained with a grin. “She won’t mind. I think she’d be more bored if she had to sit here and watch us kiss before I eat you out.”

You pressed your thighs together when Jungkook said the words, mostly because you’d imagined him saying stuff like that for months now and he finally did, and it wasn’t a dream or a fantasy.

“Can I kiss you?” Jungkook asked, still grinning at you.

When you nodded, he leaned in and placed a soft peck on your lips. His lips felt warm and soft, and you wanted more, so you leaned in and Jungkook did the same, this time letting his tongue poke out and tease your lips, getting them to open before he shoved his tongue inside of your mouth and swirled it around. The feeling of having him in your mouth and breathing in his scent and his arm around your shoulder made a fire ignite in the pit of your stomach and you couldn’t believe this fucking guy could get you wet just by kissing you. Life really wasn’t fair.

You kissed him back, knowing you didn’t have much time before Hana got back, and feeling like you had a schedule to stick to. When she came back, you’d fuck, and you’d leave, letting the two of them spend the rest of the night together. So, there was no time to waste.

Still, it didn’t seem like Jungkook and you were on the same page. He was taking his time kissing you while his hand slowly grazed its way from your knee up to your thigh.

“So soft,” he mumbled into the kiss and it made you get goosebumps all over. You always wondered what his fingers would feel like on you, inside of you, and now you were finally so close to feeling it. “So fucking hot.”

When he said that, you had no choice but to moan into his mouth and reach out to grab his hair, which Jungkook seemed to enjoy, judging by the grunt that left his mouth. Slowly, he moved his hand to your inner thigh and then the other, all the while playing with your tongue, getting you to relax and melt into his touch. “May I?”

You knew what he was asking for you and simply nodded, letting Jungkook cup your naked crotch. The feeling of his hot hand against your crotch was enough to get you to groan and buck your hips into his hand, which made Jungkook smile into the kiss. “Mhm, warm… Soft… Just how I like it.”

Hearing those words made you want Jungkook even more—it felt as if he knew every single thing you liked to hear or feel and did it right then and there. He used two fingers to rub your entrance, and when he did, you could feel your juices sticking to his digits.

“Want me so bad already,” Jungkook mumbled into the kiss and then gently sunk his teeth into your bottom lip. “You’re making me hard.”

Now, that was enough for you to moan. You, of all people, were getting Jungkook hard. Jungkook, this chiseled, hot, attractive, tattooed guy who looked like sex on legs was kissing you and telling you his dick was reacting to you, and you could only sit there and let him do whatever he wanted to you.

“Fuck,” you grunted when you felt the two fingers at your entrance, getting ready to enter you.

“Can I do it my way?” Jungkook asked, pulling away to look at you. What was his way? Hana went into detail about a lot of things, but you didn’t get to hear much about the things Jungkook did to her—only that he was fucking amazing.

Usually, the guys you slept with did everything slowly, probably because you looked like that type of girl, bland and boring. They’d use one finger, then slowly add the other, and then move them in and out until they felt you were wet enough because you surely weren’t coming from fingering. After a while, you’d just tell him to fuck you and that would be it. What would Jungkook do?

You nodded and spread your legs a bit, allowing him better access, and it made him smile and look down. Thankfully, the towel was still wrapped around your body, so you didn’t have to worry about how unattractive you looked when you were sitting down next to this god walking among mortals. Jungkook licked his lips, looked straight into your eyes, and eased both fingers into you.

The surprising part was that it didn’t hurt at all, you were already that ready for him. What surprised you even more was that he started to move his fingers in and out so fast that you had to grab onto his shoulders because your body started to move in the same rhythm.

What? You weren’t used to this type of woodpecker move and you weren’t sure you would enjoy it, but the harder Jungkook went, the more you felt like you had no control over your body. All you could do was moan—and loudly, at that—and hold onto him tight. You felt your muscles contract and your walls clench and relax, enjoying the fast movements of his hand and the sounds it was making against your skin.

The warmth that was building up in the pit of your stomach got even warmer and you suddenly felt like you needed to pee right away, but you knew the feeling, so you clenched hard and tried to get over it—and bliss followed. You screamed Jungkook’s name, digging your fingers into his broad shoulders while your juices coated his two fingers, which were still moving in and out of you quickly, even though you were so clearly coming all over them.

“Ah yeah, that’s the spot,” Jungkook mumbled and leaned in to kiss you, sounding very happy with himself. “I knew I’d get you to come.”

You took a deep breath and brought your legs closer together, which made Jungkook ease his fingers gently and give you a smirk. “Feeling good?”

“I, I, I’m speechless,” you said, chuckling. “What the fuck was that?”

“A much-needed shock for your pussy,” Jungkook shrugged. “Was it good?”

You scoffed. “Good? Amazing.”

“Want more?” Jungkook grinned and reached down for your crotch, but you stopped him in time.

“No, no, it’s fine,” you told him. “Should we, uh, wait for Hana?”

“She told us to start without her,” Jungkook said before getting up and offering you a hand to do the same, so you did.

He took you to his bedroom and instructed you to lie on the bed. Before Jungkook joined you, he threw the towel on the floor, leaving you to stare at his dick. It really was big, Hana wasn’t exaggerating. And it looked really smooth but hard at the same time.

“Like what you see?” Jungkook asked, stirring you from your thoughts.

“Uh… Yeah?” You looked at him like he was asking a stupid question, mostly because he was. Who wouldn’t like seeing him naked?

You weren’t expecting Jungkook to climb on the bed and kneel between your legs before leaning in to kiss you again. “You’re sure you’re okay with this?”

“Y-yes,” your voice faltered, so you cleared your throat. “I am. Just a bit nervous.”

“About getting naked?” He asked, glancing at the towel which was still wrapped around you, to which you simply nodded. “Can I do it?”

You nodded again, deciding to just go with the flow. The man could get you to come, it was only fair if you let him guide you through this as well.

Jungkook pulled one side of the towel to the side and then did the same with the other, leaving you completely naked in front of him. His reaction took you aback because you were certain he’d seen hundreds of women naked by that point, yet he took his time to take all of you in and he watched you with genuine interest and enjoyment.

His eyes didn’t fly all over your body like you expected them to. Instead, Jungkook first looked into your eyes and smiled at you reassuringly. Then, he started to shift his gaze from your face to your chest, where it lingered for a long while until he took all of it in. Then, he moved down to your crotch and hissed.

“Really fucking pretty,” he said with a smile, and for some stupid reason, you thought Jungkook actually meant it. It was stupid, of course he was going to say anything to get you to relax. “Can I touch you now?”

“Mhm,” you hummed in agreement, feeling so naked and revealed in front of him, so much so that you could hear your heart beating.

Jungkook placed one hand on your chest, between your breasts, and then looked up at you. “Relax… You should enjoy this, not worry so much. You sure this is fine?”

“Yes,” you nodded. “Sorry, it’s just me.”

“You don’t like when men stare at you when you’re naked?”

“I don’t like it when men stare at me, period,” you said, making you both chuckle, which eased the tension, at least for you.

Jungkook then shook his head at you. “I can’t see why, but I know you’re like that… But there’s a charm to it,” he said, slowly moving his hand to cup one of your breasts, his thumb rolling across the nipple, getting it to harden instantly. “Seeing such a pretty face, shy girl… And then this fucking body and such a tight, warm pussy,” he grunted now, squeezing your breast in his palm, but doing it gently, so gently you actually wanted him to go harder on you. “If I were you, I’d be naked all the time.”

You scoffed at the thought because no, he fucking wouldn’t. If he were you, he’d be crippled with anxiety, and being naked would be the last thing on his mind, but that wasn’t the time nor the place for that conversation. “I’d do the same if I were you,” you opted for a compliment instead.

“I practically am naked most of the time anyway,” Jungkook looked up at you and shrugged as if what he was saying wasn’t fueling your imagination even more. “But I’m shameless.”

You nodded in agreement but decided not to comment on it, mostly because Jungkook leaned in and placed a soft, wet kiss on your stomach, which made you clench your abdominal muscles and press your thighs closer together, yet again.

“Sometimes, uh, being shameless is, is good,” you got the sentence out somehow, despite being completely entranced by the soft pecks Jungkook was leaving all over your stomach before moving up towards your breasts.

“Right?” He paused to look up and smirk at you. “Being shameless got us this, and we’re just getting started. I’m already having so much fun.”

With that, Jungkook swirled his tongue around your nipple gently, making you hiss. Just watching him stare right at you while his tongue was on your body was enough to make your head spin. “Fuck.”

“Can I tell you something?” Jungkook asked, letting go of your nipple to slowly kiss his way to the other breast, leaving a wet trail behind.

You gulped, watching his eyes intently. What was he going to say? Did he always talk this much during sex? It was definitely a first for you. “Yes.”

“I was really mad when Taehyung got to sleep with you,” he looked away for a second, which wasn’t like Jungkook, but then he quickly gave you a smirk and sucked your other nipple into his mouth, teasing it with his tongue.

“W-why?” You asked, wanting to hear more about it yet fearing it at the same time.

You didn’t want to hear so many compliments from him. You knew that it would be hard to get over him after this anyway, let alone if he told you so many nice things and made you feel special.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Jungkook cocked an eyebrow up. “You’re just my type.”

“Fuck, Jungkook, don’t say things like that,” you warned him, trying to keep a straight face while he gently sunk his teeth into your breast. Yes, he was making you feel amazing with his mouth and all the compliments were definitely doing wonders for your ego, but they felt wrong. “Why?” He stopped playing with your breast and looked up at you. “Because you like hearing it?”

What were you supposed to say to that? There was a thin line between having sex with friends and having sex with a guy you were totally into, and you were crossing it. Yeah, Hana knew you were into Jungkook, but probably not just how much.

“Huh?” Jungkook asked, clearly wanting you to say something.

“Hana is my friend,” you simply stated, thinking it was enough. You made a statement when you said that, and you hoped he understood. No matter how attracted you were to each other, nothing could come out of it, even though you were about to sleep with each other.

“Hana knows this,” Jungkook grinned at you. “I have a soft spot for you, just like she does for Jimin.”

Did they really discuss this? You couldn’t imagine lying in bed after having sex with your boyfriend Jungkook and listening to him explaining how he had a soft spot for your friend and wanted to fuck her. You’d never allow that to happen, you wouldn’t be able to deal with it, and you’d never in a million years tell Jungkook you wanted to fuck someone else when you could do it with him.

But, you weren’t Hana, and he wasn’t dating you.

“You seem surprised,” Jungkook chuckled, going back to kissing your stomach. “Don’t be… Hana and I are just very open with each other. We’re not that similar in most aspects like you know, but when it comes to sex, we both like to experiment and we don’t want to restrict the other person.”

That sounded a lot like Hana, but not like Jungkook, at least not the guy he told you he was. “And you?”

“What about me?”

“Do you usually experiment like this with your girlfriend’s friends and let your girlfriend fuck your friends?”

“No,” Jungkook said, surprising you both. “I just really wanted to fuck you.”

You tangled your fingers in his hair and pulled his head up so he would face you instead of licking strips along your stomach and getting you even wetter. His mouth was making it really hard for your to concentrate on the conversation, and you had to focus on it if you didn’t want to fuck your friendship up. “Is this a thing between three friends?”

You had to ask that question because you couldn’t go forward with this if it meant screwing your friend over in some way.

“It is,” Jungkook nodded. “I’m just telling you that I think you’re extremely attractive and not just physically and that I was jealous my friend got to sleep with you.”

“Okay,” you said, even though it didn’t sound like the most normal thing out there. “I don’t get the jealousy.”

“I knew you wouldn’t,” Jungkook chuckled, getting dangerously close to your lower belly. “Let’s just say, I really didn’t want to hear Taehyung tell me how great of a body you had or how amazing you tasted or how much he enjoyed hearing you moan… I think you’re too good of a girl for that.”

Taehyung told his friends about all of that? And Jungkook listened? And thought about it?

“Good girls have sex too,” you pointed out, suddenly feeling the urge to shove his head between your thighs, but you didn’t, like a real good girl.

“Yeah, but they have sex like this,” Jungkook said, slowly kissing his way down your pubic area, which made you roll your hips. You couldn’t control it, not when he was so close to your pussy and when his kisses felt so warm.

“With two of their friends who are in a relationship?” You asked before chuckling as the idea was insane to you. It definitely wasn’t something you usually did, but your attraction to Jungkook was stronger than your sense of decency and self-respect, clearly.

“No, I don’t mean that,” Jungkook looked up. “I mean with someone who appreciates you… Takes their time with you… Gets you to come… Wants you to feel good about yourself… Wants you to enjoy… That sort of stuff.”

You nodded, unsure if Jungkook meant he was the type of guy who could give that to you while you did this. Then, his tongue swirled around your clit and it all became a blur.

“Fuck,” Jungkook mumbled and started playing with your clit, his tongue gently prodding at it while he looked straight into your eyes.

When he heard you moan and saw you bite into your lower lip, Jungkook smiled but didn’t move away from your clit. “Fuck,” you grunted at him, unable to comprehend how someone could make you feel that good with just the tip of his tongue. But it was Jungkook and you should have known what to expect.

You thought he would just tongue your clit for a while, but he took his time with this as well, playing with it for a couple of minutes and then slowly dragging his tongue down your slit to your entrance, which was soaking wet by this point. The feeling of his warm tongue down there made you grunt his name and pull on his hair, which he seemed to enjoy, judging by the chuckle that left his mouth.

“You want me there?” He asked in a low tone of voice and wrapped his lips around your clit again, this time sucking it in.

“Mhm,” you hummed in agreement, unable to even pretend you didn’t want Jungkook to fuck you.

“I can tell,” Jungkook seemed full of himself when he moved away from your clit just to smirk at you. “See how much I want you?”

He lifted his upper body a bit so you could get a good look of his erect cock and the sight made your mouth water. Not only did Jungkook look perfect when he was naked but he also had the best dick you’ve ever seen, even though you weren’t that into dicks anyway. They weren’t exactly the most pleasing thing out there, but Jungkook’s…. It was on a whole different level, and the smug bastard knew it.

“Put it in,” the words left your mouth, revealing just how desperate you already were and Jungkook chuckled, reaching down to give his cock a couple of long, slow strokes.

“Right away?” He moved in, dick in hand, and directed it towards your crotch. Like a real horny slut, you spread your legs wider, giving him as much access as he needed, which made him grin. “Oh, you really want me to fuck you.”

With that, Jungkook grabbed the base of his dick and then slammed his tip against your clit, which made you grunt. It felt amazing, but it wasn’t enough, it was too short to count, and he knew it. He did it again, and then gently moved his tip down your slit, getting it wet. You could see your juices glistening on the top of his dick when he moved it away.

“Later, huh?” Jungkook cocked an eyebrow up. “I’d really like to eat you out first… Get you to come for me again.”

“Why?” You grunted in response, feeling agitated because he’s gotten you so aroused that you really wanted to feel him inside of you and it seemed like Jungkook was dragging it out.

Suddenly, Jungkook got down on his elbows, towering over you, his mouth an inch away from yours. “If I put it in, I’ll come right away,” he said and then scoffed. “You really turn me on. So, let me eat you out first so I don’t embarrass myself.”

Embarrass himself? You’d probably go wild if he came right after putting his dick inside of you, but there was no way in hell you’d admit that to anyone, let alone Jungkook.

“Okay,” you muttered instead, and a second later, Jungkook made you understand why you didn’t make a mistake when you agreed.

His tongue was prodding your entrance and before you knew it, he was pushing its tip inside of you quickly, getting you to buck your hips into his face. Fuck, he was good at it.

Jungkook’s hands found their way to your thighs and he dug his fingers into the soft flesh, pushing your thighs to the side, allowing him to dig in deeper with his tongue until he got you to moan his name. When he heard that, Jungkook smirked at you and moved up to your clit while one of his hands made its way to your hole.

“So fucking needy already,” he chuckled and shoved two of his fingers inside of you while looking straight into your eyes, his mouth an inch away from your swollen, throbbing clit.

You moaned and squirmed under his touch, but his other hand held your thigh in place, stopping you from bucking your hips into him too hard. Jungkook hissed when he pulled his fingers out and then eased them again. “Your pussy is so hungry for me… Swallowing my fingers right away,” he looked up and grinned before sticking his tongue out to take a long, slow lick at your clit. “Want my cock so bad.”

“Mhm,” you hummed and nodded at the same time, totally lost in the moment.

You couldn’t believe that you were actually experiencing all of this: you on your back, legs completely spread with Jungkook’s head between it, two of his fingers entering you while he smirked at you and looked at you like he couldn’t wait to fuck you too. It seemed too good to be true.

“Let’s get you to come, huh?” He said, mostly to himself, and then he dug in.

You’d never, ever experienced someone doing to your clit what Jungkook did then, and you weren’t even sure how to explain it. The most amazing thing was that he managed to keep up the pace and never stopped moving his fingers in and out gently at this point, while his mouth and tongue teased your clit so hard you had no choice but to grab the sheets and moan his name, your entire body squirming.

It felt like he was making out with your pussy, there was no other way to put it—you felt Jungkook’s nimble tongue all over, his saliva mixed with your juices all over you, dripping wet, your arousal covering his fingers and dripping down the insides of your thighs, Jungkook’s mouth sucking your clit in, his tongue teasing it, and then moving down your slit and sucking everything into his mouth in the process.

You couldn’t believe that someone knew your body that well and knew exactly what you liked, but you had to remind yourself that Jungkook had tons of experience and practice. Still, it didn’t change how you felt—mindblown.

Jungkook’s mouth on your pussy felt fucking amazing, mostly because it was slowly but surely getting you to orgasm. Usually, guys you slept with would use fingers as well, but that never worked for you—it was hard to focus on those two things at once which made your orgasm impossible. You’d start to overthink it and focus on the tongue and then on the fingers and you’d lose the moment.

With Jungkook, though, the whole thing was out of the question. His fingers moved the same way they did when he first shoved them inside of you and you got used to his rhythm, which helped you focus solely on his mouth, which was pleasuring more than you thought was possible.

Right then, Hana appeared next to the bed, practically out of nowhere, and sat down next to Jungkook, smacking his ass. It startled you to see her there, mostly because you were so fucking focused on what her boyfriend was doing to you that you forgot she existed. It wasn’t anything personal—you forgot that anyone other than Jungkook and you existed right then, mostly because his face was shoved between your thighs and you were making a mess out of his sheets and falling apart under his touch, and he hadn’t even fucked you yet.

“Do you guys need more time?” She grinned, looking at you. “I told you he was great with his mouth.”

You chuckled, but the sound died down in your throat when Jungkook sucked on your clit hard, making you moan. “Fuck…”

“What a fucking birthday,” Jungkook moved away from your pussy to look at her with a grin and you felt mortified to see that his entire chin and mouth were covered with slick, glistening under the light of his nightlamp.

Hana chuckled and patted his cheek. “You look like you’re having fun too.”

“I’m so fucking hard,” Jungkook said, tugging on his rock-hard dick. “Let’s switch.”

With that, Jungkook lay down next to you and turned to face you. “Come,” he motioned for you to get up and patted your thigh, pulling you over until you were straddling his shoulders.

You turned around to see what Hana was doing and found that she was about to straddle him, and you couldn’t look away. She adjusted Jungkook’s cock so she could sit right down on it, which she did a couple of seconds later, earning a moan from Jungkook. That made you face him, which was a bit hard considering you were right above his face.

“Come here,” he grunted now, grabbing your ass and pulling you down so he could latch his mouth onto your pussy again.

The scene reminded you so much of the one you’d experienced with Hana before, where she rode the guy and you rode his face, except Jungkook was a lot more attractive than the guy in your book, probably because he had an amazing personality on top of extraordinary looks. Still, the sounds of her skin hitting his as she jumped on his cock and tried to get herself to come reminded you of the night, and so did your moans.

You couldn’t help it, not when Jungkook wasn’t pulling away from your pussy not even for a second and you weren’t even sure how he managed to breathe when he was that glued to you.

Hana was familiar with Jungkook’s cock, which wasn’t surprising, and you could tell she knew just how to ride him to get herself off while getting him turned on. The more she moaned and the harder she rode him, the more vigorously he sucked and licked your pussy. All you could do was grab Jungkook’s hair and tug at it, enjoying at least some type of contact with him.

The truth was, you wanted to suck him off and return the favor, you wanted to kiss him, to touch him everywhere, but you knew that would be out of line, so you let him play with your pussy while Hana rode him.

A couple of minutes in, her breathing got heavier and the sounds of skin hitting skin became louder and more frequent, and not a minute later, she was moaning his name and coming, still riding him. Jungkook pulled away from your crotch for a second, his hands still on your ass, and groaned. “Ah, fuck, baby,” he moaned but kept his eyes glued to you. “Feel so tight.”

“Fuck, fuck,” Hana moaned and leaned in to rest her forehead against your back, wrapping her hands around you from behind. You could feel how sweaty and warm she felt, clearly exhausted from jumping up and down and pleasuring herself using Jungkook’s cock.

“That’s one, one more to go,” Jungkook grinned at you and then started to suck on your clit while looking straight into your eyes, his fingers digging into the flesh of your ass. All the swirls and rubs of his tongue were starting to get to you, even more so now that Jungkook was focused solely on you and not the beautiful girl riding his dick.

“You’re so fucking hard,” Hana mumbled, and you turned your head to the side to see what she was doing. Surprisingly, she still had Jungkook’s dick inside of her but was resting and trying to catch her breath. “He really loves eating you out.”

“He’s so good at it,” you told your friend, hoping that wouldn’t sound inappropriate.

“Mhm,” she hummed in agreement. “Relax,” she told you, pulling you in closer from behind and resting her chin on your shoulder so she had a good look at Jungkook between your legs. “Just focus on his tongue.”

You closed your eyes and did what your friend suggested you do, and it felt even more amazing now that you felt her body pressed against yours while Jungkook’s tongue did its magic on you. It didn’t take you long to come and you loved the fact that Jungkook inserted his fingers inside of you when he felt you buck your hips into his face as they helped you prolong your orgasm and ride it out slowly while his tongue stayed glued to your clit.

“Oh my God,” you hissed, kicking your head back and resting it on Hana’s shoulder. “What the actual fuck?”

“That good, huh?” Hana asked, making Jungkook chuckle between your thighs.

“Want more?” Jungkook sounded enthusiastic, but you shook your head at him immediately.

“No, I can’t,” you said, opening your eyes. “Return the favor?” You asked, turning to face Hana, who nodded and moved the side so you could do the same on the other one.

If someone had told you you’d each be lying on Jungkook’s side ogling his dick, you’d tell them they were crazy, but there you were, about to give him a blowjob he wouldn’t forget.

Hana grabbed the base of Jungkook’s cock and grinned at you, motioning for you to come in closer. She then stuck her tongue out and licked a strip from the base up to the tip, and you did the same from the other side. At first, you weren't in sync, but Jungkook didn’t mind—the grunts that were leaving his mouth were more than enough of a sign that he loved seeing the two of you lick him, and he enjoyed feeling it even more.

Slowly, you two started to move at the same pace, so you took a long lick from his base to the tip, where your tongues touched. When that happened, Jungkook grunted and propped himself up on his elbows, clearly enjoying the view. “Oh my God, this is… Fuck!”

His comments made you both chuckle before you continued to lick him up and down, twirling your tongues around the tip of his cock at the same time, getting your tongues to touch just so Jungkook could see and enjoy that. Then, Hana wrapped her hand around his base and pointed the tip towards you, so you sucked it into your mouth. Hana leaned in and started to lick Jungkook’s balls, which made him kick his head back and grunt.

“Fuck, you two really want me to blow my load right away,” he said, chuckling. “You’ll kill me with those tongues…”

“Babe, shut up and enjoy,” Hana said, giggling. “Take it deeper, he loves that.”

Since you knew that comment was for you, you did what Hana suggested and moved your head down his cock until you reached the base, and got Jungkook to moan your name and grab you by your hair. “Do you want me to fill your throat right now?”

You looked at him from the side, his cock still lodged inside of your mouth, a smirk on his face. Then, you gently pulled back and let him fall out of your mouth with a loud pop. “It’s your birthday, so whatever you want…”

“You should not be saying that to me,” Jungkook gave you a meaningful look and since you couldn’t decipher what he meant, you went back to sucking his tip.

Then, Hana decided to join, so you two switched—she was now sucking Jungkook off while you sucked both of his balls into your mouth and ran your tongue all over them, getting him to start bucking his hips and grunting even more. There was something so hot about seeing Jungkook look so weak for a change and being a part of the reason for him getting to feel that way.

He enjoyed it so much that he stopped with the teasing and all the comments, and a couple of minutes in, it seemed like all he could do was grunt and moan and swear while trying so hard not to buck his hips too hard.

At one point, Hana gently grabbed your chin and lifted it up so you could face her. Jungkook’s cock fell out of her mouth. “Go play with his neck and kiss him… He loves that.”

It was his birthday and you really wanted to kiss Jungkook, so you did what Hana said, leaving her to suck his dick and play with his balls at the same time. Jungkook seemed really pleased to see you moving towards him on your knees, leaning in and shoving your tongue inside his mouth.

“Jesus, you’ll kill me,” Jungkook grunted into the kiss and plopped down on the bed, wrapping his arms around you to pull you in with him. “Kiss me.”

You really didn’t have to be told twice when it came to Jungkook, so you kissed him again and enjoyed the sounds of him moaning into the kiss while your friend sucked him off. The whole thing felt made up.

After all, it was what you’d wanted for such a long time and you just couldn’t believe that it was real. When you closed your eyes and kissed Jungkook, it felt surreal, the whole thing—his hands in your hair, then cupping your face, his tongue inside of your mouth, his lips pecking yours, low grunts and hisses leaving his mouth.

You could hear Hana gulping on his dick, taking as much of it in as possible, and you noticed Jungkook’s breathing getting heavier. Was he close? You started to kiss your way down to his neck and suck on it, which made him moan your name and tangle his fingers in your hair, tugging at it, his fingers massaging your scalp, pulling you in closer as if he wanted to feel more of your mouth.

“Ah, fuck,” Jungkook grunted, which made you open his eyes and find him looking right at you, eyes half-closed, almost lost in ecstasy. “Babe, I’m gonna come… Fuck, keep going.”

Hana giggled and you could hear her start to move faster. As Jungkook’s moaning got louder, she moved away and both you and Jungkook looked at her as his cum shot right out of his tip and ended up on her face and over his chest. She kept moving her hand over his cock, wanting to get every last drop out, and, honestly, you couldn’t stop staring at the scene of Jungkook coming all over her. You enjoyed his moans a bit too much, but you couldn’t feel bad about it, not when you’d just seen him shower Hana with cum, and when you were imagining he could do the same to you.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he mumbled and threw his head down on the pillow and sighed. “Fuck.”

“That was a lot,” Hana said with a chuckle.

“That was embarrassing,” Jungkook grunted, propping himself up on his elbows before pecking your lips again, which felt awkward. Why was he kissing you like that when the action stopped and when his girlfriend was right there? It felt strange, but neither one of them reacted to it or made you feel like it was weird. “I need to be up the whole night.”

“Oh, really?” Hana cocked both eyebrows up and gave you a smirk. “You’re in for a treat, clearly.”

What did she mean by that? You were both in for a treat, right? There were three of you there and you were just getting started.

“Now I have to make it up to you both,” Jungkook said, reaching out to grab Hana’s hand and pull her in closer. “Tongue, Hana?”

She thought about it and then shook her head which surprised you. Was she really turning down an offer of oral from Jungkook? She was really making his birthday all about him. “Maybe later.”

Jungkook nodded, and you felt like they were in on something you weren’t, but that was only normal. The two of them were a couple and you were the third wheel here, and you didn’t know the inner workings of their relationship. “This is such a nice birthday present for me… Thank you both.”

“I have to return the favor”, Hana grinned at Jungkook, sitting on the bed right next to him. You figured she meant she has to return the favor of getting to sleep as a friend, which was weird in your book. But then again, this was all weird as hell and you’d never even dreamed about doing something like this. “As long as we’re all having fun, right?” Then, she looked at you as if she wanted to check up on you. “Are you having fun?”

“Mhm,” you hummed in agreement, suddenly feeling really weird about interacting with your friend during sex.

Maybe you had that feeling because she was still covered in Jungkook’s cum. The first and only time you two interacted during sex, you were both wasted and the guy wasn’t her boyfriend, so there weren’t any real feelings involved. This was different.

“Can’t believe he got you to come so fast,” Hana noted with a grin—she knew how many issues you’ve had with orgasming with men in general because your mind was rarely in it and it felt like you were always turned on, but never enough. With Jungkook, neither of these things seemed to be the problem.

The first time he got you to come, he took you by surprise, so you could have even called it an accident. But, the second? There was nothing accidental about it. Jungkook knew exactly what he was doing.

“Twice,” Jungkook corrected her, shooting a glance your way, and you could swear he looked proud of himself. “Want to go for a third?”

Both of them turned to look at you, and you felt awkward sitting there on the bed, naked, with two people waiting for you to say something. “Uh, uhm, how?”

Jungkook cocked his head to the side and leaned in so close you thought he was going to kiss you again. “Let me fuck you,” he whispered, barely brushing his lips against yours, which was enough for your crotch to start reacting.

You nodded the second the words left his mouth, completely forgetting that his girlfriend was right there. It seemed like Jungkook forgot about her two because he got up faster than you could blink and was between your legs before you knew it, hands on your thighs.

Hana looked down at you and smiled warmly as if her boyfriend wasn’t just getting ready to fuck you again. However, you were wrong. Instead of going straight into that, Jungkook got down on his elbows and latched his mouth onto your clit, which made you gasp. “Fuck.”

“Sorry, I’ll go easier,” he mumbled and gently sucked it into his mouth again. You were still sensitive even though it felt like hours since he’d last touched you. “Have to get you ready.”

“True,” Hana agreed, moving in closer to you, propping herself up on her elbow to look down at you with a smile. “He’s definitely bigger than Jeonghun, so you won’t be able to take it so easily.”

You felt yourself blush at the mention of the guy you were seeing. Well, you weren’t exactly seeing him and things were complicated. Usually, you wouldn’t mind discussing your sex life with Hana, but hearing her mention Jeonghun and his dick while Jungkook was eating you out made you feel embarrassed all of a sudden.

“Don’t worry about that,” Jungkook said reassuringly and inserted a finger inside of you. “We’ll be fine.”

“I know,” Hana chuckled and leaned in, resting her head next to yours, as if she wanted to get closer to you. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” you nodded, lowering your voice. “You?”

“Would feel better without all this cum on me, but it is what it is,” she said, making you both chuckle, but your laughter quickly died out as Jungkook started to move the tip of his tongue up and down your clit while inserting another finger, moving them in scissoring motion to stretch you out a bit. “Just relax, and enjoy yourself.”

“Shouldn’t this all be about Jungkook?” You asked Hana with a cocked eyebrow, remembering what you were there for. Until then, it seemed like you were getting all the pleasure, and Jungkook was doing everything he could to please you, which wasn’t the goal.

“It is,” she giggled sweetly and reached in to cup your face. “You’re sweet for worrying about him like he isn’t having the time of his life.”

The time of his life? It sounded strange when she, as his girlfriend, said that while Junkook was going down on you and moaning into your pussy, his fingers stretching your hole just right. Was this really such a great gift for Jungkook?

“Mhm,” Jungkook hummed in agreement and looked up into your eyes and then he glanced at Hana before wiggling his eyebrows at her. “Damn right.”

“We could do something for him, though,” Hana said, turning to face you with a smirk.

“What?” You had to know. After all, she knew Jungkook a lot better than you ever would and you really wanted to make him feel as good as he was making you feel if that was even possible.

“Kiss,” she grinned and shot a glance at Jungkook, who was looking up at your face again, clearly amused by the interaction. “I bet that would really get you going, huh?”

Jungkook smiled, his tongue still latched onto your clit, so you leaned in and kissed Hana, who readily kissed you back.

This was nothing new, you two had kissed before. Neither one of you was interested in women, which is why you two didn't interact with each other sexually during the night—you didn’t want Hana to do anything sexual to you and you were sure she felt the same way.

However, sharing a kiss wasn’t sexual in your book, not when it came to her. Back in school, when you two felt curious, you kissed each other. Sometimes, when you were really drunk you’d kiss each other to give the other person advice on how to kiss even better. It was stupid and there were no feelings behind it, but when Hana kissed you, you could see Jungkook’s eyes widen in excitement and his fingers started to move in and out of you frantically fast as he clearly got even hornier watching you do it.

“You’re not a good girl at all,” Jungkook grunted and grinned at you through gritted teeth. “What a fucking birthday!”

Clearly, Hana knew Jungkook well because this was exactly what he seemingly needed to go hard on you, forgetting about his plan to be gentle and whatever else he was saying earlier. His mouth and tongue took turns licking and teasing your clit and labia while his fingers went in and out, every movement of his hands stretching your hole a bit more for him.

While Jungkook was doing this and making you embarrassingly wet, Hana and you kissed, softly, gently, giggling throughout, mostly at the sounds Jungkook kept making. You didn’t expect Hana to touch Jungkook, but she moved her hand down to his head and pushed him into your crotch even more, which made him grunt and start sucking on your labia. That in turn made you arch your back and moan his name, eyes closing, head moving down to the bed. Fuck, the guy was great with his tongue and fingers too. What wasn’t Jungkook good at?

Unexpectedly, Hana got up off the bed. “I have to take another shower. I feel all sticky. I think it will be a bath. You two have fun…” She said calmly as you watched her get up in confusion. Jungkook didn’t seem surprised by this at all—his mouth never left you. Then, Hana leaned to you and grabbed your shoulders. “Do whatever you want, okay? You have my blessing. He’ll be nice to you.”

Jungkook chuckled at that and shot a glance her way as Hana made her way to the bathroom. In less than a minute, she went from kissing you to disappearing from the room. You were alone with him again, and your heart started racing—the moment suddenly felt intimate.

“You heard her?” He finally moved away from your pussy just to smile at you, remnants of your excitement still visible on his lips and chin. He propped himself up on his palms. “Do whatever you want to me.”

“Oh,” you simply said, taken aback by the way Jungkook was suddenly looking at you like he was ready to devour you. Then, your eyes flew between his legs since you now finally got a good view of his body again and you couldn’t help but notice he was fully erect even though you hadn’t touched him in a while. “Put it in then.”

Your words made Jungkook happy, the low chuckle told you that, and so did the fact that he moved in closer until he was kneeling between your legs. “Are you sure you’re ready?”

The fact that he was stroking his cock while asking that made it hard for you to focus on anything else, let alone conversation. He was so fucking hot. How would you ever have sex with another man again? What would be the point? Jungkook was just kneeling there playing with his dick and you could feel yourself getting wetter.

“Yes,” you nodded with a smile, still not believing you’d get to feel Jungkook. His cock would be inside of you in a couple of seconds. “Just go slow.”

“Don’t worry,” Jungkook reached out to pat your thigh gently, letting his hand linger there for a while, making you shiver. “I’ll go nice and slow for you…”

Then, you felt the tip of his cock press against your entrance and run up to your clit. It quickly made its way between your folds down to your entrance and gently entered you, inch by inch. When the entire tip was in, Jungkook stopped and hissed before looking up at you.

“Good?” He asked and as soon as you nodded, gave you a bit more of his cock. “How are you this fucking tight?”

“I think you’re just big,” you told him, which made him grin. Clearly, Jungkook loved getting compliments about his size, and you were sure he got them often. A dick like that? There was no way women didn’t gush over it, especially since he was so good at everything.

When he eased another inch into you, you hissed and arched your back. His fingers did stretch you out, but this thing was huge. Sadly, even though you were extremely turned on, it still hurt to take it all in.

“Want me to stop?” Jungkook looked at you with eyebrows cocked up, clearly against the idea, but not wanting to go on and cause you pain. “Or to finger you a bit more? Eat you out?”

“Maybe, uh…” You took a deep breath before telling him something you thought about often. “I should ride you.”

“Ride me?” Jungkook seemed taken aback by the idea but then he chuckled and gently pulled out of you, making you wince at the loss even though it was painful before. Painful was better than empty, especially since you were so turned on. “I didn’t know you were into that.”

“You don’t know a lot of things,” you pretended to be a lot more mysterious than you actually were as Jungkook lay on the bed next to you. You weren’t the most adventurous person out there, but did Jungkook have to know that?

“Can’t wait to find out,” he said, crossing his hands behind his back and staring at you as you straddled him. “Need me to help?”

“No, I got this,” you said as you grabbed the base of his dick and positioned it at your entrance. Slowly, you let the tip enter you before you let go of his cock and placed both hands on your thighs for support. “Oh, fuck…”

You tried to go slow at first, but then you realized it would hurt either way and that you’d get used to it the sooner it entered you fully, so you sat all the way down until you were sitting on Jungkook’s thighs, his hard cock deep inside of you, a loud moan leaving his mouth as he closed his eyes. Jungkook’s hands flew to your waist instantly and he dug his fingers into your skin, pressing you even further into his own body, even though his cock couldn’t enter you even more if he tried.

“Christ, I’ll die,” Jungkook mumbled as he opened his eyes and then he smiled at you, cocking his head to the side. “Are you okay?”

Your eyes teared up a bit because of the stinging along his entire length, but you were slowly getting used to the feeling. It was strange to feel him inside of you, but it became a lot easier when you focused on how hot Jungkook looked lying under you, seemingly mesmerized by the sight of you on top of him. “Yeah, yeah… Just need to relax a bit…”

“Here, let me help,” he offered, sucking on his thumb and then moving it down to your clit so he could rub it, which did get your walls to start clenching and relaxing. “Just… Breathe…” Jungkook said gently, his thumb rubbing your clit while his other hand made its way from your waist up to your breast and gently squeezed it, grunting in the process. “I think you could make me come without even moving.”

The compliment made you chuckle, which in turn made your walls clench around his cock, and Jungkook reacted by grunting. “Are you trying to?”

“Not yet,” you shook your head and started to roll your hips in circles, letting his cock rub against your walls in hopes of them relaxing a bit. “Just want to… Feel you…”

“I feel you just fine,” Jungkook mumbled at you before biting down on his lower lip. “You’re so warm and wet for me… Can’t wait till you start jumping.”

You could hardly wait for that too—he felt so hard inside of you and you were sure he’d feel perfect once you got used to his size, so you started to move your hips front and back now, adjusting to the new feeling. Jungkook’s groaning and squeezing helped and the hand on your clit made you start going faster, and before you knew it, you were gently sliding up and down his cock, never going high enough for it to fall out, but always landing on his thighs with a loud smack, no matter how slowly you moved up.

Jungkook liked the tempo so much that he placed both hands on your waist and just let you do your thing. He couldn’t decide where to look—your crotch, your chest, your face—so his gaze flew all over, unable to stop at one place for longer than a couple of seconds at a time.

“It feels much better now,” you told him, and your words made him smile.

“I told you it would,” Jungkook smirked at you and somehow got you to melt all over again. What the fuck was up with him? You had him inside you, there was literally nothing more you could do to feel him, yet you wanted more and more. How he did it was beyond you, but you couldn’t waste time on questioning it. “Ride me faster.”

“Faster?” You cocked your head to the side and started to move the way he wanted you to, getting to feel every inch of him rub against your walls and touch every inch of your walls from the inside. You could feel your juices sliding down his cock, but you couldn’t get yourself to feel bad about it, not when you felt so fucking good because of him.

“Do you ride Jeonghun like this?” Jungkook asked after a series of hisses and moans, all of which were doing wonders for your ego. Never in your life did you think you’d see a man as attractive as Jungkook enjoy being inside of you this much.

“No,” you shook your head, not really in the mood to talk about your date. Sort of date. A guy you slept with a couple of times.

Whatever he was, you didn’t want to think about him when you were with Jungkook. This thing right here wasn’t going to happen again, and you wanted to make the most out of it.

Jungkook wanted to play dumb, so he frowned. “Why not?”

“He likes missionary,” you readily responded.

You weren’t sure how Jungkook always got you to be honest with him, but you figured the fact that he was inside of you had a lot to do with it. Your mind wasn’t working as well as your body—all you were focused on was his dick inside of you and how it felt whenever your hips smashed into his.

“He’s a nice guy, I’ll give him that, but he’s missing out on a lot,” Jungkook said while grabbing both of your breasts while you rode him, clearly deciding to make the most out of the situation, much like yourself.

The image of Jeonghun flashed before your eyes and it instantly made you feel guilty, even though you two weren’t exclusive. “Let’s not talk about him.”

“Why not?” The smirk didn’t seem to be leaving Jungkook’s face anytime soon. “You don’t like being dirty?”

“Nope,” you said while riding the dick of the guy who was dating your best friend like that wasn’t the dirtiest thing you could imagine. But, it was Jungkook, and it didn’t feel bad.

“I think you do,” Jungkook grunted, lowering his hands so he could grab your ass and help you jump on and down his cock. The more vocal he was, the faster and harder you were going. “I think you really fucking love fucking me behind your boyfriend’s back.”

“I don’t,” you disagreed because Jeonghun wasn’t your fucking boyfriend, but you didn’t want to explain these details while fucking Jungkook.

“Really? Is that why you’re riding me faster?” Jungkook chuckled, smacking your ass with open palms. “Is that why you’re dripping wet?”

“Fuck, Jungkook,” you couldn’t pretend that it wasn’t, not when all these words and actions were making you want to start jumping up and down, not caring if you were even going to land on his dick correctly. You kept wanting more and more, and you weren’t sure if more actually existed. “Fuck!”

“Oh, so it is…” Jungkook propped himself up on one elbow while using the other to pinch your nipple gently, making you arch your back. “What would Jeonghun say if he saw you now, riding my cock like this? I bet he thinks you’re such a good, sweet girl… That’s why he only does missionary… Doesn’t want to scare you away. What would he think if he saw you taking my cock like this?”

For some reason, the things Jungkook was saying were turning you on, and not because he was mentioning Jeonghun. It was because his words were making you feel dirty, and not in a bad way. It didn’t feel like Jungkook was judging you. Quite the opposite, it sounded like he fucking loved it. Why wouldn’t he? You were acting dirty for him.

So, you decided to play along. It was the dude’s birthday and you were so fucking into him that it hurt. Why not make the most out of this one and only chance you’d have with him? “He’d …. Be mad, I guess.”

“I’d be mad too,” Jungkook licked his lips and looked up at your face. “If I had a girl like you and someone else was making you feel better than I could? I’d be pissed.”

There he went again, mentioning these what-ifs and things that just couldn’t happen because he was dating your friend and you would never do that to her, no matter how much you enjoyed fucking Jungkook. “Stop saying that.”

“Why? It’s true… You come whenever I want you to. You told me he can’t make you come,” Jungkook shrugged, knowing he had a point, and you couldn’t help but notice he looked so smug lying down and letting you ride him with a smirk on his face. He knew you too well for this, you realized. “Such a shame... Wasting your time on a guy who can’t get you horny.”

“Jungkook,” you stopped moving and leaned in, opening your eyes completely to show him you were serious.

“Yeah?”

“Please, don’t say these things,” you lowered your voice, remembering that Hana was in the bathroom, taking a bath, but that he could probably hear everything you two were saying. “You’re Hana’s boyfriend.”

Jungkook seemed shocked for a second like he was surprised to hear you say that, but he quickly got it together and smirked. “Sorry… But, you’re still a little slut.”

“Fuck,” you sighed, kicking your head back and continuing to ride Jungkook, now dragging your fingernails across his chest and stomach down to his hips, where you let your palms rest.

“Oh, so that’s what you like. Less talk less about me, and more about how you’re being so bad right now,” Jungkook seemed pleased with himself for having found out your weak spot, the smug look on his face told you that. “Riding someone else’s cock while poor old Jeonghun is probably at home jerking off to you… I know I’d be.”

The words he was saying were making you get even more excited if that was even possible. The thought of Jungkook jerking off to you was driving you crazy. Did he really? Or was he just saying this in the heat of the moment, to turn you both on even more? Then, Jungkook started groping your breasts and you felt like you were about to explode.

“He’d be mad at me too if he saw this…” Jungkook continued, rubbing your hardened nipples with the tips of his fingers, getting you to arch your back and ride him even faster. As if he realized you were starting to lose it, Jungkook groped your breast, squeezing on them hard enough to get you going. “You got me hard two minutes after coming, and that rarely happens. Just shows how much I like you, and he’d hate it. Jeonghun would be so upset seeing his nice girlfriend jump on another man’s cock like this…”

That’s true, you had to admit. Of course he’d be upset, who wouldn’t? “He would be,” you moaned, deciding to continue playing Jungkook’s game. “But he won’t know.”

“If he does, he’ll try to fight me, I can already tell,” Jungkook snickered, spreading his thighs wider to give you more room when you moved your hips back and seeing him relax and let you do whatever you want with him lit a new sort of fire inside you.”Can’t blame him. No, fuck that, I can. He can try a little harder to get you to come. It’s not that hard. You just need to be turned on and relaxed…”

“Mhmmm,” you hummed in agreement without even thinking about it.

Did you really feel that way about Jeonghun? To be honest, you didn’t really think about him that much, except when you were about to go out with him, which definitely wouldn’t be happening again. But, Jungkook was right—Jeonghun could have tried harder to get you to come.

“And Jeonghun can’t get you to feel that way, right?” Jungkook asked, clearly teasing you, wanting to get compliments out of you, now moving his hands down and planting them around your waist.

“No,” you admitted right away, holding onto his shoulders so you could lift your hips and smack them against his harshly before quickly moving them back up again. “He can’t.”

“But I can,” Jungkook said confidently.

“Yes,” you couldn’t do anything but agree because it was painfully obvious by the way you were practically dripping onto his balls and thighs, covering him with your juices.

Anytime you went up and down his cock, you could hear how wet you were and feel how hard Jungkook still was, even after what seemed like hours of you riding him. Realistically, it had only been minutes, ten at most, but it was the best ten minutes of sex you’d ever had.

“Mhm, just as I thought…” Jungkook said, now moving one of his hands up to your face to cup it, getting you to practically purr at him. “You like me a lot, don’t you?”

You felt a lump form in your throat as soon as the words left his mouth. Jungkook knew you liked him and you knew you liked him—it was painfully obvious and you weren’t sure how you’d ever get over it after getting a taste of him. But, it was wrong. “Jungkook, don’t.”

“You can say it… Hana knows it,” Jungkook said, as if he was reading your mind.

He wasn’t, which meant he discussed this with Hana, which came as a shock to you. Why would they talk about something like that? She’s never mentioned talking to Jungkook about your crush on him. “What are you on about?” you asked, slowing down.

“I told her I wanted to fuck you the first time I saw you,” Jungkook flashed you his teeth as he grinned, seemingly happy to be confessing this feeling to you, even though it was so wrong. “You’re just my type. Shy, hot in bed... Hana? Not shy. I like that too, but this is my favorite.”

“You told her that?” You stopped moving to give him a glare, still not believing the words coming out of his mouth. If he were your boyfriend and told you he was more into Hana than you, you’d cry and break up with him. What the hell was going on between these two? You clearly didn’t know them that well. “That’s mean.”

“Hey,” Jungkook said, patting your waist gently. “She told me she wanted to fuck Jimin before I even mentioned that. He was the one who introduced us, remember? So now we both got what we wanted… No, all three of us got what we want, because I know you’re enjoying this as much as I am,” he paused to lick his lip and check you out from head to the point where your body met his, which happened to be your crotch. “You love fucking me.”

“Jungkook, please,” you hissed when he gently ran his hands up and cupped your breasts, flicking your nipples with his thumbs while still holding onto your flesh. Jungkook was touching you like he knew every inch of your body and exactly what you liked, and like he knew you’d let him do just about anything to you.

“Please what?”

“Don’t say these things,” you said with a slight shake of your head, feeling like your voice was faltering too. You were into him and you did love fucking him, but it was a one-time thing and he shouldn’t have been making such a big deal out of it.

“Why not? Don’t you like feeling that slutty?” Jungkook chuckled, but when he realized you weren't happy about it, he stopped instantly. “We’re not doing anything wrong. Hana knows about this and wants it. So, let’s make the most of it. Just relax and enjoy it.”

“Hana…” You tried coming up with something to say that could prove him wrong, that could show him that you two shouldn’t be discussing how horny you were for each other while he was dating your friend who just so happened to be in the other room, but your mind was drawing blanks because Jungkook was squeezing your breasts and looking straight into your eyes.

“Babe,” Jungkook sat up and leaned in closer so he could whisper at you, wrapping his arms around your body to pull you in. “I had to hear about how much Hana thought about Jimin's dick while she fucked him right in front of me, so don’t worry. If she had a problem with it, she would have said no, okay?”

Really? The thought of that shocked you—why would anyone think about anyone other than Jungkook when they could have him whenever they wanted? Besides, why would Hana say these things in front of Jungkook?

“Okay,” you nodded, not believing what you were hearing. Hana wanted to fuck Jimin when she got to fuck Jungkook. Well, to each his own, but you’d always choose Jungkook.

“Relax, baby…” Jungkook grinned and reached back to grab the back of your neck and massage it. “Ride it,” he said, which was all it took for you to start moving your hips again, now feeling his cock inside you from a whole other angle, one that suited you even better. Or was it the fact that his face was now an inch away from yours?

“Does it feel good?” Jungkook asked, stopping you from zoning out completely.

“Mhm… Great,” you practically moaned at him and he took that as a sign to go on talking dirty. Before that, though, Jungkook leaned in and brushed his lips against yours, teasing you even more.

“Big enough for you?” His cocked eyebrow told you Jungkook already knew the answer.

“Huge,” you whispered the word, and Jungkook’s face lit up.

“And you like that?” Jungkook wasn’t able to contain the excitement in his voice when he asked that, and you chuckled at his tone.

“I didn’t know I did,” you admitted, as he seemed to be waiting for you to respond as if it wasn’t already obvious that you were so into him it hurt.

This seemed to give Jungkook even more confidence. “You didn’t know a lot of things before tonight.”

“It’s like it’s my birthday,” you cracked the joke to ease the tension and try to focus solely on riding his dick, getting it to rub all against your walls from the inside, getting yourself to come.

“When is your birthday?” Jungkook seemed serious all of a sudden.

“In two months,” you responded, unsure of what that had to do anything, especially when you were in the middle of sex.

“Please, wish for this,” Jungkook whispered, placing a kiss on your shoulder. It was a soft kiss, a peck, one that made shivers run down your spine. As if he sensed that the kiss was too intimate, Jungkook started to kiss his way up to your neck, which made you grunt.

“Stop talking about me and let me concentrate,” you told him while grabbing his shoulders and starting to move your hips faster, enjoying the feeling of having his mouth on you.

“You’re right…” Jungkook said with a chuckle before licking a strip up your neck and making you moan his name loudly. “I forgot, we’re focusing on how big of a slut you’re being…”

You hummed in agreement, surprised to find yourself liking his comments this much. There was just something about the way Jungkook said these things to you like they weren’t something bad. Instead, it seemed like he loved it too.

“And you know you’re being slutty, letting me fucking you raw like this… Riding my dick, letting it stretch you out… Jeonghun is not gonna like this,” Jungkook said, hissing when you rolled your hips in a way that he obviously appreciated. “You’re so wet my balls are dripping.”

“Sorry,” you said, feeling like such an idiot for something you couldn’t control.

Jungkook looked into your eyes again, making the moment feel really intimate again, like it was just the two of you there like the night didn’t have to end. “Don’t apologize, I fucking love it.”

“Great,” you grinned, rolling your hips in circles again while staring right into his eyes, never wanting to let him go.

“Let’s switch up…” Jungkook leaned in and kissed you gently. Then, he sank his teeth into your bottom lip. “I really want to fuck.”

You nodded and gently eased yourself off of Jungkook, letting his cock slide out of you, big, pink, and slick with your juices, which made you hiss when it landed on his stomach, making a loud wet noise.

It didn’t take Jungkook long to push you down on the bed and get on top of you, your crotch almost touching his, your legs on either side of his body as Jungkook sat up between your legs and scooted his hips closer to yours.

“Fuck, this is such a nice sight.”

You could only imagine how lascivious it looked from his perspective: you on your back, legs spread, pussy on display right in front of him, but you couldn’t get yourself to care, not when Jungkook was positioning his dick at your entrance and gently shoving himself in all the way. “Mhm, fuck…”

Jungkook kicked his head back and sighed deeply before looking at you again, his eyes warm and happy. “Still so nice and tight and warm… You really are into me.”

“Mhm,” you couldn’t help but agree, not when it was painfully obvious that you loved every second of him being inside of you.

“Good,” Jungkook said, grabbing both your thighs and squeezing them while moving his hips slowly, getting you to adjust to the new position. “It will be easier to get you to enjoy yourself.”

“I’m already enjoying it way too much.” You weren’t sure what exactly had gotten into you and made you admit that, but you knew Jungkook loved hearing it. You just didn’t want him to know he had that much power over you.

“I can tell, baby…” Jungkook grinned and shoved his cock inside of you all the way. Once he realized it didn’t hurt, Jungkook started to move his hips, moving in and out of you slowly. “You’ve never been fucked this good.”

“Is it that obvious?” You asked with a chuckle.

“Kind of,” Jungkook said, starting to speed up his movements, and you couldn’t help but marvel at how his body moved while he fucked you. Everything seemed to be moving in the same rhythm and it was almost mesmerizing. “I don’t mean that in a bad way… Just that you seem to like everything I do, which makes me so fucking hard I can’t even explain.”

Now, that was something you loved hearing. If he knew how excited he made you feel, it was only fair if you heard the same about yourself. Otherwise, you’d feel stupid tomorrow. “I feel it.”

“You do?” Jungkook grinned, smacking his hips into yours, which made your toes curl. Fuck, he really did know what he was doing. “You like knowing you get men hard?”

“Some men, yeah,” you pretended you didn’t understand what he was asking.

“Okay…” Jungkook shoved himself into you all the way again and stopped moving, letting you feel all of him. “Do you like knowing you get me hard?”

“Yes,” you couldn’t lie, not when Jungkook was standing still, hovering above you, your lips an inch away from his.

“Good, because you fucking do, and not just tonight,” he said, giving you a smirk followed by quick movements of his hips, ones that made your eyes roll to the back of your head.

“Jungkook…” you called out his name, wanting to tell him he shouldn’t be telling you he gets hard for you, not even when you were fucking, because it was a one-time thing and you didn’t want to face him tomorrow and know you get him hard and he gets you excited, and you could never do anything about it ever again.

“I know you know it,” Jungkook said, burying his face in the crook of your neck and starting to pound into you hard, a lot harder than earlier, which made you dig your nails into his back and hold him closer.

You really didn’t know that, though. Never once did you think that Jungkook harbored any feelings, let alone sexual, for you. He was extremely friendly around and offered you advice and listened to you rant about your problems, but you never got the idea that he wanted to fuck you, mostly because he was dating your best friend and you tried hard not to think about him that way. You were just his hot girlfriend’s loser friend, at least that’s how you thought he saw you.

“You don’t like me saying that?” Jungkook grunted, still not moving away from your neck, still keeping the very fast pace which made it hard for you to breathe, let alone speak, but you loved every second of it.

“No,” you admitted with a sigh, trying to focus solely on his cock entering and exiting your body, getting you wetter by the second. “Hana…”

“Pretty, she knows it,” Jungkook smiled at you, like what he was saying was completely normal and you were the weird one for feeling weird about it. “But I’ll stop if you don’t like it.”

You nodded without a word and focused on taking his features in.

After all, it was the first and last time you two were having sex, so you might as well try to take in all of it. Jungkook’s hairline was covered with beads of sweat and so was his face, even though in smaller quantities. The ends of his hair were sticking to his forehead and sides of his face, and that only made you want to pull him in so you could kiss and touch him.

However, you didn’t do that.

You lay there with your legs spread and marveled at the sight of this gorgeous man between your legs, keeping the same rhythm as he pumped himself in and out of you, his toned upper body on display, the dark tattoos in contrast with his skin, his earrings dangling whenever his thighs smacked against the back of yours.

“I never want to stop doing this,” Jungkook confessed and the confession made you bite down on your lower lip. You never wanted it to stop either, it just felt fucking amazing. “Can I go deeper?”

You nodded without a word, still enjoying the sight of him on top of you, in you, the lines of his face distorting with pleasure as he stuck his dick inside of you all the way in, getting to feel your warm pussy engulf him, pull him in closer. “Fuck,” he shook his head and looked straight into your eyes. “I’ve never been this hard in my life, everything feels fucking amazing.”

The compliments were music to your ears, you loved hearing this from someone you were as attracted to as you were to Jungkook, and the best part about it was that you knew that he wasn’t lying. Exaggerating, maybe, but not lying—you could feel just how hard he was.

“Does it feel good this deep?” Jungkook cocked his eyebrow up and when you nodded, he grinned. “Can I go faster?”

“Mhm,” you hummed, spreading your legs even wider, which made Jungkook grab you by the thighs, straighten your legs, and press them against his torso. Is that what people meant when they said their legs were around someone’s neck during sex?

You hissed when you felt Jungkook hit a spot deep inside you, which instantly made him freeze in place. “Fuck!”

“Too deep?” Jungkook gently rubbed your thighs with both hands and looked at you worriedly. “Slow down?”

“No, it’s… Uh… Strange?” You cocked your head to the side and couldn’t help but chuckle at the situation. You were staring at each other, Jungkook stopped moving, and you found the whole thing funny. “It feels sharp but good?”

“Maybe I found the right spot,” Jungkook said with a grin and then started to fuck you again, this time putting a lot more energy into it, so much so that it got you to scream the first time he entered you all the way and touched that spot again.

From that moment on, most of it was a blur. You did what Jungkook’s voice instructed you to do, which was to close your eyes, breathe, and focus on his dick. It felt weird not watching him fuck you because that’s all you ever wanted to do, but Jungkook was the expert there, so you followed his advice.

Jungkook kept grunting and hissing, clearly enjoying the way your pussy felt around him, but you didn’t open your eyes to look at him. Instead, you kept them closed and focused on his cock. Every time it entered you, it went in deep, really deep. It hit a spot that hurt, but not as much as it felt good.

It was a really weird feeling, but you realized it actually felt good and that the pain came from too much pleasure if that was even possible. The a-ha moment happened when you noticed tears were streaming down your temples and that you were moaning without stopping, completely forgetting that both Jungkook and Hana could hear you falling apart under him.

“Oh, you’re getting so fucking wet now,” Jungkook grunted from above, tightening the grip he had around your thighs, continuing to fuck you, smack his body against the back of your legs, shove himself inside of you all the way, his thick cock filling you up in the best way imaginable.

Then, Jungkook spread your legs, holding each one up by your ankle, hitting the spot from an even better angle. The sudden change in positions made you arch your back and grab the sheets so you had something to hold onto.

“Jesus, Jungkook, keep going,” you muttered the words at him, taking a peek to see if he was as excited as you were just to find him biting down on his lip and looking at you, sweat dripping down his face and chest, looking completely immersed in the moment. “Oh my God…”

“What a tight little pussy you have,” Jungkook grunted, still keeping up with the same fast pace he’d set earlier, keen on getting you to come. “I wish Jeonghun could see you now, spreading your legs for me like a slut.”

“Fuck,” your back arched on its own. At that moment, you wished for that too—maybe he’d then realize that he had to put in a bit more work than just pump in and out of you until he came inside the condom. “Jungkook…”

“I bet he’d be so pissed off to hear all the things you told me….” Jungkook said with a chuckle. “Or see you let me fuck you raw and deep like this… Get to fuck you however you want… Feel those lips around my cock… Fuck, I want all of it so bad. You’re such a good slut for me tonight,” Jungkook hissed before saying your name, which was what threw you off the edge.

You felt like you were about to come ever since he hit that spot, but you just needed that little push to come undone all over his cock, and hearing him say your name did it for you. Jungkook felt you were coming, you were sure, even though he could already tell by the way your entire body twisted and turned while you screamed and held onto the sheets tight, so he kept fucking you, not stopping for a second until you asked him to, barely getting the words out.

The second you told him to stop, he did, but he didn’t pull all the way out, which actually felt nice. Instead, Jungkook stayed inside of you, planted your feet back on the bed, and leaned down to hover over you, his chest pressed against yours as he held himself up on his elbows.

“You are so fucking pretty when you come,” he grunted and started kissing you, so you finally opened your eyes, smiled at him, and then kissed him, feeling cocky enough to shove your tongue into his mouth while wrapping your hands around him, tugging at his hair, dragging your fingers across his back, surely leaving marks.

Jungkook loved all of it, you could tell by the way he practically purred on your chest or the way he played with your tongue, or, even more obviously, the way his cock twitched inside of you.

“I want to see you come,” you said into the kiss, which made Jungkook pull away and lick his lips.

“God, yes,” he grunted and started to pump himself into you again and this time, it felt even better. “I fucking love this… Getting to see just how much of a slut you are for me.”

You couldn’t do anything but moan in response since Jungkook started to fuck you even faster than before, his hands now behind your shoulders, lifting them up so he could hold the upper part of your body while he fucked you hard, and it felt amazing, to say the least.

Since his hand held you in place, you didn’t move up and down the bed. Instead, you stayed in the same place and the only thing that moved was Jungkook’s hips, in and out, in and out, his dick filling you up so well each time, but only for a second or two before he pulled out and repeated the motion.

“I’ve wanted this for such a long time,” Jungkook grunted into your ear, his hands holding you in place while his hips snapped up and down quickly. “You feel so fucking warm and tight, just like I imagined…”

“Jungkook,” you were going to tell him he shouldn't be saying that, but then you realized he was about to come and that it was his birthday, so ruining his fantasy would probably spoil the night for him. “Fuck.”

“I wanted to fuck you so bad and now that I know how good it feels, I want it to be my birthday every fucking day,” he kept grunting into your ear while his hips smacked into yours from above. “Getting to feel how warm you are around me… Fuck, it’s great. And how sweet you sound? Your angelic face and then that fucking body of yours that makes me want to ram into you like you’re a blowup doll? I won’t do it, don’t worry. I have to go easy on you,” Jungkook said with a hiss, gently biting into your bottom lip.

“No, do it,” you looked into his eyes and grinned. Why not? Nobody has ever fucked you that hard. It was all bland and boring, just like you. Missionary, slow at first, very quick towards the end, that was it.

“Do it? You sure?” Jungkook checked again, even though you could tell he was dying to do it, and that he was really close to coming already.

“Yes, please, I want to feel it,” you told him, giving him a small grin before moving your hands down to cup his ass and give it a gentle squeeze. “Fuck me.”

Jungkook’s eyes rolled to the back of his head as he grunted and started to thrust into you so hard that you had to move your hands up to his back and hold onto him tight. At the same time, Jungkook let go of your shoulders and held onto the bed for support. There were too many sounds to focus on—the sounds of skin hitting skin, Jungkook’s low grunting which got louder and stronger the closer he came to coming, and your moans that you just couldn't stop, not when he was going so fast and making you feel like you were, in fact, his blowup doll.

“Oh, fuck, I’ll come,” Jungkook mumbled. “I’ll pull ou—”

“No,” you told him. “Pill. Come inside me.”

Jungkook rested his forehead against your shoulder and stopped moving for a second. “I had to stop before I absolutely exploded. Hearing you say this makes me think of so many nasty things…”

With that, he started to move again, clearly excited about getting to come inside of you tonight, which wasn’t a part of the deal. There was no way you’d say no to him, not when you were on the pill and nothing was stopping you from letting him fill you up.

To help him come, you decided to tell him nasty things, since Jungkook seemed to like it that much. “Only you get to come inside of me,” you said something you shouldn’t have said. “You were right, I am a slut for you, I like fucking you way too much.”

“Ughh,” Jungkook grunted and started coming. Even if you couldn’t tell by how spasmodic his movement became, the fact that he pressed the side of his face against yours and held you tight would have given him away. “So fucking tight,” he mumbled, still pumping in and out of you. “Can’t believe you’d let me fill you up with my cum like this…”

You cupped his face and pulled him in for a kiss, which Jungkook gladly returned, and you two kissed for seemed like an eternity. During the kiss, you felt his cock get soft and slip out of you, letting his cum drip down your cheeks, but you couldn’t get yourself to care, not when it felt so nice kissing him. You wanted it to last forever, but you only had that one night, the night of Jungkook’s birthday, and it came to an end.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

You thought seeing Hana after the night you three spent together would be weird, but it was so much more awkward for you than you could have imagined. It felt like your knees went weak the second you saw her walking into the coffee shop unannounced. But, then she waved at you and came up to the bar with a grin like nothing changed between the two of you.

“Hey! Want to take your break with me?” Hana offered, pointing to a table next to the window, far away from any of your coworkers.

A couple of minutes later, you joined her with two coffees and sandwiches, feeling a huge lump in your throat.

Of course, it was still Hana and you were still you—nothing changed. However, now you knew your obsession with her boyfriend went way too far and that you’d have to stop hanging out with him, at least for a while. You’d have to try to forget the way Jungkook felt, kissed, touched, and focus on yourself and getting over your feelings before you could be his friend again.

You knew something like that would happen when you said yes to it, but it was too good of an opportunity to pass out on.

Still, it felt terrible when you woke up the next morning, you couldn’t lie about it. Your entire body ached, you were tired and sore, but it was your chest that hurt the most because you knew it was a one-time thing, no matter how much you wanted it to happen again and again. Jungkook was in love with Hana, Hana was in love with him, and you were a hookup. That was it.

So, you avoided them for three days.

Jungkook texted, but you didn’t respond. The things he told you when you two were alone didn’t leave your mind for a second, but they were wrong. Men said a lot of things when they were horny and Jungkook was no exception, you’d learned. The guy asked his girlfriend for a threesome, they agreed on you, the person they both knew well, and he fucked you. That was the extent of his feelings for you.

Even if Jungkook, by some miracle, meant all those things, he was still Hana’s boyfriend and you didn’t want to talk about that topic with him and encourage him to say shit like that. It could ruin their relationship, which could potentially ruin your friendship with Hana and no guy was worth it, not even Jungkook, no matter how attractive, sexy, or great in bed he was.

Luckily, Jungkook didn’t push too much. He sent a text the next morning, thanking you for the night and wanting to know if you were okay, but you felt too confused and hurt and in love to respond to him. Then, you realized that you didn’t want to talk to him about it. You didn’t want to talk to anyone about it.

That night, Jungkook texted again, telling you he was worried about you and that he hoped nothing had changed.

You didn’t respond to that text either because you went to bed early. The day was exhausting from start to finish, mostly because you spent it alone, reliving last night in your mind over and over again, feeling guilt wash over you every time you’d find yourself enjoying these memories.

When you woke up, you found a third text from Jungkook, sent in the wee hours of the evening, asking you to forgive him if he crossed any lines. He also said he wouldn’t text you again because you clearly needed space. But, if you wanted to talk, he was always there.

All of that sounded perfect and it would have been had Jungkook not been your best friend’s boyfriend.

So, seeing Hana in person after all of that also hurt.

Did Jungkook tell her you weren’t talking to him? He didn’t deserve that kind of treatment, but you felt like a total loser. You promised them nothing would change and then you completely changed your attitude towards Jungkook, who did nothing wrong.

“So… How are you?” Hana asked with a smile as she took a bite of the sandwich. “I’m so fucking hungry, sorry, I can’t wait.”

“No, no, please, eat,” you nodded and took a sip of the coffee, feeling too nervous to eat. “I’m fine, why? Just busy with work.”

Hana glared at you while she chewed and you knew she could see right through you. “Cut the crap,” she said, her mouth still full of food, but you felt so bad that you couldn’t even reprimand her for that like you usually would.

“I’m sorry I’m acting all weird,” you sighed, looking straight into her eyes. “I promised nothing would change and it clearly has, but not in a bad sense. I guess I just need time to like, get my thoughts in order, or something. Maybe it was a bigger step than I thought it would be.”

“Sure,” Hana readily agreed, chasing down the bite with a sip of coffee. “I get it, we all needed time to figure it all out. But that doesn’t mean we’ll just ignore each other in the meantime, right?”

“I would never ignore you,” you shook your head. Did it really come off that way? You really didn’t have time that week because you took all the extra shifts you could to take your mind off of things. You couldn’t think about Jungkook and the way he made you feel if you worked 12 hours a day. “Why do you think that?”

“I don’t mean me,” her raised eyebrow told you that Jungkook told her all about his failed attempts at talking to you. “The three of us took part in it. If nothing has changed between you and me, it shouldn’t between the two of you.”

“Yes,” you nodded in agreement because Hana was right. Normal people would see the situation that way. Why change your behavior towards Jungkook but not her? It didn’t make any sense, but feelings rarely did. “It didn’t. I mean, it won’t.”

“Why are you ignoring Jungkook then?”

“I—,” you gulped, feeling dizzy all of a sudden. You could never lie to Hana, not even if you tried. She knew you better than you knew yourself sometimes, and she could easily tell when you were being dishonest. “I don’t know.”

“Let’s work through it together,” your friend suggested with a smile as if she didn’t realize she’d be uncovering some shameful secrets if she kept pushing. “We’re best friends. What we did doesn’t change anything between us because we’re still friends.”

You nodded in agreement, holding your cup with both hands and taking comfort in its warmth. That’s what you really needed—a long warm hug, but not from Hana and definitely not from Jungkook, even though you knew how amazing his hugs felt.

“Cool. And you and Jungkook were friends before this. So why not stay friends after? Unless something changed…”

“No, nothing changed,” you spoke up, never wanting to think you were interested in her boyfriend or that you’d try to do anything to separate them. “I mean, Jungkook is still my friend, clearly.”

“But you have feelings for him,” Hana suggested with a completely serious face, looking straight into your eyes which made you look at the floor in embarrassment.

You felt like the worst person out there, mostly because it didn’t even look like she was angry. Of course she wouldn’t be, she was your friend, which was exactly why your feelings for her boyfriend were completely out of place. Did she realize this that night? How long has she known? You felt embarrassed to even exist in her vicinity.

“I…. Hana,” you sighed, still unable to face her. “You’re my friend and you’ll always come first. I just need time to forget about it before I can… Be his friend. But that’s all there is to it.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me that?” Hana said in such a calm tone that you just had to look at her to determine what she was feeling.

You found her smiling at you warmly, much to your surprise. When your eyes met, she reached out and placed her hand on yours.

“You idiot,” she said in a mocking tone, and your breath hitched in your throat, but then she giggled. “Did you really think I can’t tell? I got a boyfriend and suddenly forgot how you function? Please.”

“I’m sorry,” was all you could tell her. She could see right through you, as always.

“Will you please text Jungkook back?” Hana asked with a raised eyebrow, surprising you with her request. “I think he really wants to talk to you, but he’s waiting for you to text him back because he doesn’t want to pester you, or something like that.”

Your cheeks were blushing at that point, you could feel it. Why did she want this when you’d just told her how you felt about him? “M-maybe it’s better if I wait for a while until I can think straight.”

“I have to tell you something,” Hana leaned in and lowered her voice. “But don’t take it the wrong way and jump to conclusions, okay? Promise.”

“I promise,” you crossed your heart and looked right into her eyes, feeling like you were shivering.

“We broke u—” she started but was cut off by your loud gasp.

“What the fuck?” You couldn’t help but blurt out. “Oh my God, please tell me it had nothing to do with his birthday,” you glared at her, feeling like a total piece of shit for getting involved with a couple. What in the hell were you thinking? “I feel so bad, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. Why didn’t you tell me? Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it? Fuck, I hope I di—”

“Stop,” it was her turn to cut you off by raising her hand. “We talked about it before. Long before the threesome even happened. There’s love and there’s lust, and we both knew what our thing was. Then I started thinking about Jimin way too much and that was my own fault. But, I have to say that I always knew he had a soft spot for you. Jungkook, I mean. He took more interest in you than he did in me. Well, you know what I mean. You two became friends and we’re more like people who fuck and like each other enough to hang out, something like that,” she explained and then shrugged.

“What? I don’t get anything.”

“I’m saying that we were discussing just breaking things off and being single and then it was my birthday and I asked him for a favor, with Jimin. And I thought we’d break up then and that would be it. But then Jungkook asked for a present, and I knew exactly what it was going to be,” she looked at you knowingly. “And I also knew that if I told you we technically broke up, you’d never do it. And I knew you definitely should.”

“I feel totally cheated just so you know,” you told her after taking all of it in. “You are right, I never would have done it, so I’m kind of upset. I’m just shocked by all of this, I guess.”

“Listen... “ Hana reached out again, grabbing your hand. “Jungkook is a really sweet, nice guy. I know what you’re thinking, he’s my ex and it’s wrong and he likes to experiment and you’re monogamous and all that. Well, he’s my ex, but so fucking what? You fucked him too, we’re even. And the thing is, he’s not like me, maybe that’s why we don’t work well together. He wants to experiment if he doesn’t have deep feelings for someone,” Hana smirked at you. “I would bet everything I have that Jungkook would never let you sleep with Jimin or any one of his friends. There’s just no way he’d do it. With me, it’s different because we just had that type of thing, it was fun and convenient and we got laid, but that’s about it.”

“This feels so fucking weird. Like, you sitting here, trying to explain how Jungkook, who I thought was your boyfriend five minutes ago, would be a good choice for me,” you shook your head before letting it fall into your palms. “It’s too much.”

“Okay. Take your time,” Hana chuckled, and hearing her laughter made everything seem fine and normal again. “I’m just trying to tell you that whatever you decide is fine with me, for real. I didn’t want to say it over the phone because I wanted to be sure you knew I meant it. And also, Jungkook’s been nagging me for three days. He wants to make sure you’re alright, you don’t regret it, you don’t hate him, and stuff like that. So I wanted to let you know that we’re not together, we didn’t break up because of you, and you should really talk to him, even if you don’t know what you want.”

“You think so?”

“Yes,” Hana shook her head at you. “I know you. You’ll overthink this, imagine a million different scenarios, and find a million downsides to this. Well, if you talk to him about it, he can answer your questions so you don’t come up with your own answers. Jungkook’s not going to force you to meet up with him or anything, he just wants to talk. Hear him out and then take your time to decide. You don’t even have to decide, that’s the best part of life. Nobody’s forcing you to do anything. Take your time, live a little, have fun with him. Just talk to the guy.”

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Hana’s friendship always meant the world to you, but that day, you realized that she was really the best friend you’d ever had. Your mother always used to tell you that blood was thicker than water because your family would always put your interests first while friends would often take their own feelings into account.

Well, Hana proved your mother wrong.

The worst part about this whole thing was that she was right—you had to respond to Jungkook and hear him out. Otherwise, you’d come up with a bunch of problems and not one solution. You’d come to conclusions on Jungkook’s intentions when that wasn’t something you could know, not without talking to him first.

You: I’m sorry for not responding. I talked to Hana today and she explained what happened between you.

What else did you want to tell him? The dude texted you three times and went out of his way to get Hana to talk to you, so you had to get it all out there and explain everything.

You: It was stupid to ignore you, but I wanted to try to forget what happened before I talked to you again

You: Honestly, it felt wrong to have all these feelings for my friend’s boyfriend, so I didn’t want to get involved even more

Was that right? Of course, you didn’t want to suggest anything or dig deep into your feelings when you weren’t even sure what it was that he wanted from you.

Jungkook: Thanks for responding :) I was worried about you after everything

Jungkook: I’m sorry if I made it weird by saying all those things… I guess I got ahead of myself, but I just forgot that you didn’t know that Hana and I weren’t a thing anymore, so it must have sounded really weird

Jungkook: Now that you know, I hope you can look at it differently, but I also get it if you can’t. I keep thinking we fucked up by not just telling you we weren’t together, but Hana was against that, but maybe I should have went against her wishes this one time

He was right, it was all a bit too much. The fact that the two of them knew they weren’t together but kept it from you did sound weird, but the more you thought about it, the more you understood where Hana was coming from.

Clearly, she thought you and Jungkook would work well together, a lot better than the two of them, but she also knew you as a person, which meant she was aware that you’d never agree to fuck her ex right after they broke up.

You: It’s really a lot to take in at once, if I’m honest

Jungkook: That’s true and it’s normal to feel that way, it’s all complicated

Jungkook: But I’m hoping you’ll think about it and come to the same conclusion as me

You: And that is?

Jungkook: That we would work out, for sure, even if it’s all a bit messy :) because we care about each other

You stared at the text for minutes, the words “care about each other” flashing before your eyes, not leaving your mind for a second. Jungkook was saying this? To you?

You: Oh? Pretty cocky :D

That maybe wasn’t the most appropriate thing to say, but it felt easier to turn everything into a joke than admit all your feelings for Jungkook right away, especially when you felt so confused by the whole thing.

Jungkook: Hm… You may not want to date me or be in a relationship with me after everything, BUT you can’t tell me you don’t care about me

Jungkook: I can tell, just like I know you can tell

Jungkook: I mean, if Hana and all of my friends see it…

What? Did people really know about this?

You: What??

Jungkook: We really have a lot to talk about lol want to go out for a walk or something?

You felt like a fool when you realized that everyone other than you knew you had feelings for Jungkook. And that he had feelings for you, even though that still felt surreal. His friends? Really? He really baited you right in.

You: When?

Jungkook: After work? Before dinner? Tonight? Literally whenever you want

You: After work’s fine

Jungkook: Are you nervous?

You: Fuck yes

Even that was an understatement. You kept thinking about what you were going to wear, how you’d even survive looking into Jungkook’s eyes again, how you’d tell him any of the things you were thinking and how you’d sit through him complimenting you in person.

Jungkook: It’s okay :D I won’t do or say anything you don’t want

Jungkook: I’m a pretty straightforward guy, but I know it’s a complicated situation and it will take time

Jungkook: and I have all the time in the world and want to try to make it work

Your heart beat so loud you thought it would just jump out of your chest. Why was he saying these things when he knew how you felt? It would be so strange to see him face to face after all these confessions.

You: Let’s talk about it when we meet up :)

Did that sound cold? You couldn’t help but feel that way when you read the text again, so you quickly typed and sent another one.

You: I don’t want to sound uninterested or something because you know I’m not. I think we should talk about it in person and decide what to do then

Jungkook: Of course, no worries! I’ll come pick you up after work then?

You: Great, see you then

Jungkook: I’m so excited :D

You: LOL me too

You: why are we acting like high schoolers?

Jungkook: isn’t it a good feeling, though?

Jungkook: being so excited about just seeing someone and talking to them

Jungkook: doesn’t happen often :) see you later!

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────