wait what

Its nice that we get to die someday. Imagine being immortal and suddenly you remember all the emberassing things you did in the last 2000 years. Horrible

americans think ABSOLUTELY NOTHIN of driving 7 hours. they’ll drive 7 hours just for dinner. they’ll drive 7 hours just for chips and dip

My friend in the UK told me that they only see their father like 2-3 times a year because they live so far away. When I asked how far do they live, they said that it’s a 45 minute drive……. my commute to work, five days a week is an hour.

What a beautiful octopus.

‘dad bod’ is just ‘bear’ in Straight

can’t relate 

To what

i just can’t relate 

This is too deep to comprehend.

Stop it

I THOUGHT THIS WAS GOING TO BE FUNNY

:(((((