brains, no brawn.

Faye thrives in the country. She is a girl who loves the mountains and the wide open plains. A house far off from others but near enough to emergency areas is obviously preferred but if she could hide amongst the woods and look up to see a mountain or two cutting into the skyline, wow, Faye would be so content.

Dale paused for a second as he hoped she actually got his joke. He never liked to talk to people around here, especially not ones who don’t seem like they grew up like he did. The last thing he needed was the one person he could talk books with and actually take him seriously to think he was trailer trash. However when she played along with him he pulled up a smile. “Well damn, I think I can hook you up with that next time. I think, what’s the difference between cold brew and iced coffee? I can for sure bring you an iced coffee.” Dale told her with a smile. “Yeah I liked it, it had a whole LGBT aspect I was about. It was interesting.” He explained. When she seemed shocked to hear he’d never read Percy Jackson he nodded. “Yeah my parents weren’t the biggest bible thumpers but they didn’t want me reading about the like… other religions and all that.” He shrugged. “Hey I don’t care, I’ll check it out, it sounds fun.” He smiled, watching as she handed him a well-loved copy of the book. “Oh wow.” He smiled. “Thank you. I can’t wait.” He told her, nodding. “Yeah I suppose that really don’t make much money. Still I can’t imagine. I got a headache just thinking about it, with all the like… numbers and stuff. I always hated those kinds of subjects.”

“Cold brew has more caffeine. Iced coffee is just basic coffee, normal caffeine, with the chance of it becoming watered down. My body has developed a tolerance to normal coffee and I am not one of those people who can handle the taste of straight black coffee for no reward.” The benefits of her caffeine addiction were that she was able to study as long as possible and pass her classes with flying colors. The con was that Faye could feel her fragile body deteriorating with each ounce that entered her system. “Then it’s definitely added to my list. I just really need more time to read everything I have on my shelves. Have you ever wanted to freeze time for just like a day so you could attempt to catch up with all the books you have waiting to be read?” Faye didn’t quite understand the idea of keeping someone from reading something just because of their religion but she also wasn’t going to argue. It wasn’t something for her to press him on either because, after all, she didn’t like when people pressed about her family and their odd ways growing up. “Well, I can understand that. I’m happy to hear what you think about it.” Faye’s struggle with her classes were something she didn’t like to speak on in front of others but she felt like she knew Dale enough to start broaching the topic. “Trust me, it’s not my first choice. I-- if it were up to me I would be majoring in something else.” But struggling to survive with ten siblings in one low income house was enough to scare her into sticking with a career that would kill her emotionally but give her the money to stay safe and take care of her siblings. “When I become a doctor, I expect you to be careful about how frequently you visit my clinic.”

What is your muse’s earliest memory?

Faye sat on the bed, her sisters body curled up against her own, and for the first moment in a long time she felt at peace. It wasn’t as if she had been holding her breath as so many authors enjoyed writing about. No, she’d been breathing. Faye knew she was breathing and knew that she was stressed. These were all things she was aware of but here, with her sister, she could relax even if it was only for an hour. Nora was the first baby Faye had ever held. She thought back on the day she was born. Faye was just freshly three years old. She couldn’t remember hardly anything before as clearly as she remembered the day of her sisters birth. Her parents were nervous to see how the other siblings would respond to yet another baby but not with Faye. There was just this thing about her, even so young, that proved she was a caretaker. So the day the baby was born, the day Nora came into the world, they didn’t hesitate to let their youngest come into the room first. 

-

“This is your baby,” Faye’s father stated with a soft whisper near her ear as the girl stood on the end of her mothers hospital bed, ravioli hands gripped to the side of the clear basinet that held the girl who would become one part of her whole world. Every one of her siblings after would change her for the better but Nora... she was something special. She was the first one to give Faye a purpose. Something, someone, besides her parents and elder siblings to live for. “You will need to care for her and teach her how to be a brave and fearsome little thing just like you.” 

Faye was too distracted to argue. Then again, she never argued. She was one of those children who had learned that throwing a fit hadn’t gotten her what she wanted. She was quiet, reserved, and observed. Faye reached out a finger to touch the infants nose. She needed to feel that the baby was real and not just pretend as the dolls she owned were. The girls little nostrils flared and a grunt of annoyance escaped the newest O’Callaghan. “My baby.” Faye said softly. 

“That’s right, Faye.” Her mother said, a smile in the sound of her voice as well as on her lips. She had been the one to suggest bringing in Faye first, letting her adjust, and knowing that this was going to be a bond that was secured forever. 

“What’s her name?” Faye asked, daring only for a second to look at her mother and look away from her new best friend. She saw her mothers face. She was happy, so happy, her eyes alight with a golden flame she only had on special occasions. There was an exhaustion in her as well. Having a baby was no doubt hard work which is why her hair was tied up in an elastic band, wet from the sweat of labour, and the color beneath her eyes had deepened. Faye looked back at her baby sister, blinking and trying to understand. Her parents had told her that the baby was in her mothers stomach but Faye just couldn’t fathom how that worked. She was three, after all.

“Well,” Her father began, “We thought that you might be able to help with that...” Faye turned to him shocked. “If you’d like, of course. Your brother got to name you so we thought it was only right you get to help out.”

Faye had not known this, had not realized her brother Reed had named her or that their brother above them had named Reed, but there was only so much knowledge she could hold at the age she was. How did she think of a name? Her brother had been five when she was born so there was more room for thought, more world he had seen, what could Faye provide? Dorito and Apple were fine names for an animal but she knew no humans were named this. Then it came to her. A book they had read just a few weeks before with a girl at the center of the adventure. “Nora.” 

“Nora,” Her mother repeated.

“I really like that,” He father confirmed.

“That’s a beautiful name, sweetie.” Faye’s mother reached out and picked up the child with ease and held her to her chest. The toddler then crawled over to cuddle in close so she might be able to see her sister as well as her mother, “Nora O’Calloghan.” She confirmed.

Faye smiled and slipped her hand into her sister’s. This was her sister, her first younger sibling, and she was going to take care of her as best she could. 

-

And so, she tried. Which is what led her to this moment, holding her sister after another heartbreak, and knowing that she would never leave her side. Nora was hers, forever and Faye was Nora’s. She stroked the others hair, curled and freshly washed, and settled a soft kiss to the top of her head. “Have I ever told you about how you got your name?”

What did law-people read? She traced book spins as she walked mindlessly, “What would Elle Woods do?” Just as she spoke those magical words, she peered down at what she was sure was a real life bookworm in action. “Oh. No thank you, gross. You might as well call me Lea Michele, I can’t read.” She sunk down without invite, crossing her tanned, bare legs under her like a child, flashing a sudden flirty smirk, “But if I’m a good girl, will you read to me, mama?” She grabbed a random book from the shelf behind the other, closing the distance between their faces for only a brief second. Jut as fast as she had been playful, it was gone. Ellie was now making a disgusted face as the feel of the pages were under her fingertips, “What class are you doing that for.” 

The girl was beautiful and Faye lost her words for just a moment. What would Elle Woods do, indeed. The book she’d been tracing the words over in her hands suddenly weighed like a brick and her throat was dry. Licking her lips quickly, Faye nodded. Of course she shouldn’t have recommended books. Of course she shouldn’t have spoken in the first place. Faye was about to speak, about to respond to the Lea Michele comment, when suddenly the woman’s face was near her own and her breath was stolen right from her chest. Faye’s stomach was sent topsy turvy, her insides becoming absolute mush, and she had the distinct moment where she thought If she kisses me right now then I might just fall in love. Faye did not know where that thought came from and she needed to shut it down immediately. After all, this was a stranger! This was a woman she had never met before. Why did she feel a throbbing against the fabric of her thong and why couldn’t her brain function like it was meant to? Faye tried to get ahold of herself but it was difficult with the others scent so close to her own. “B-biochem.” She managed to whisper. “Wish I was Lea Michele myself...” 

Dale always kept his eyes down when he had a book in his hands. He could never manage to look someone else in the eyes, unsure if he was just afraid of being made fun of or what. “Oh you wanted drugs?” He asked playfully, figuring if she was going to tease him he was going to tease back. When she asked about his book he shrugged, looking at the novel he’d brought along with him. “It’s called Summer Sons it’s like this… Southern gothic horror, I don’t know, it was good though I liked it.” He commented, still getting used to talking about or recommending books with someone else. He shook his head as he looked back to the ground. “Percy Jackson? Oh with the god camp, I never got to read it. Baptist parents.” He described, knowing that would’ve never been allowed in his house. “I’m bored to death just hearing the word biochem. How can you do that?”

Faye didn’t mention the lack of eye contact purely because she, herself, couldn’t bring herself to look the boy in the eyes. This weird friendship they had was something that felt too fragile for her to mess up by getting as intimate as looking in his eyes. She was used to keeping her head down, her ears perked, and her body tight and controlled. You didn’t survive in a house with as many people as hers held unless you knew how to make yourself outrageously small or outrageously large. “Wanted? Not necessarily. Unless the drugs in question were a giant thing of cold brew.” Faye liked that she could tease with Dale. She liked that she felt as if she didn’t have to search too hard for words. “That sounds brilliant. Perfect for the season. Halloween and all that.” Gothic horror had never been at the top of her favorite genre lists but it was something she didn’t mind getting into. Usually she was a big fantasy girl. “Wait, really? You should read it. I mean it’s a middle-grade novel but its worth it. Fast to read and a great time. Here..” She dug in her bag for her beaten copy that she’d had since it first came out, “You can borrow it.” Faye couldn’t help the deep chuckle that bubbled low in her belly. “I don’t know how I do it. I just do. Trust me, I’d much rather be in a lit class or studying latin but that’s not going to make me the money I need to survive.”

“yeah, i’m totally fine.” brinley reassured the other with the shake of her head and bright smile remaining on her features. “you’re fine, seriously, don’t worry about it.” though she tilted her head a bit, “do you want to be a ballerina? cause i think you would rock it. er- whatever the ballet term is appropriate for awesome.”

faye was prepared to fall back into the book in her hands. no one ever stayed to talk with her longer than a few quick exchanges so she was pleasantly surprised when the brunette spoke further. “oh I can’t...” faye admitted, “besides not having a musical bone in my body, I’m on track to go to med school. that takes up a little too much time.” she smiled with a soft sparkle in her eyes, “but thank you. that’s-- it’s really kind of you to say that. one of my younger sisters does dance but I couldn’t tell you a ballet term at all for awesome.” she extended her hand, “i’m faye... by the way.” 

Faye couldn’t help it, she found herself laughing as she witnessed the boy with the book in his hands. “Dale... this is just about the saddest drug deal I’ve ever seen.” The girl stepped closer to read the title of the pages in his hands, “What’d you bring though?” It had become a mini book club at this point. Did it count as a book club if it was just two people? Faye couldn’t tell but she loved the idea. It meant that she had a friend who wasn’t a sibling and that was special to her. That was something she needed right about now. “I just finished the Percy Jackson series. Call me childish but that series is just so nostalgic for me. I needed a break from the text books I’ve been devouring. Biochem might actually take years off my life.”

going to a quiet place was a fun time for brinley. especially with the hustle of the city. it was nice to just get away from it all for a moment. making her way over, brinley nearly tripped over the girl. immediately shaking her head, “oh no, you’re fine! i just ended up tripping. but i don’t mind the recommendation.” she spoke genuinely with a kind smile curled on her features.

faye wasn’t particularly good when it came to social interaction but thankfully she could tell when people were being genuine and when they weren’t which is why she was able to breathe a small sigh of relief and not fear that the other was upset with her because she had been in the way. “Are you alright?” she asked, wanting to make sure the other hadn’t been harmed. “I kind of have a habit of doing that. Not the tripping people but the uh... being in the way... without meaning to be.” Faye nibbled on her bottom lip, “One of the reasons I’d never make it as a ballerina.”

Hey is that NATALIA DYER? No, that’s just FAYE O'CALLAGHAN. They’re TWENTY-THREE, and have spent SIX YEARS in Dayton. I hear that they’re kind of BRAINY but also can be ANXIOUS. BLACK ICED COFFEE and THE SMELL OF OLD BOOKS remind me of her. Can’t wait to see them at the next party! 

“Nope, nope, nope! I’m not a performance kind of guy,” Billy said immediately when Faye offered to market his technique. He let go of her hand, waving his own in front of himself in defense. “Besides, my face is a national treasure and should be protected. If I just give it away to everyone who has anxiety, it won’t be special enough to land me a very lucrative sugarmomma or sugardaddy.” Billy understood scarcity. If you could have his face for cheap, then you wouldn’t want to spend money on it.

In tandem with his refusal, Billy scooted to the edge of the bench and hopped up, re-wrapping his towel around his waist as he moved towards the rocks in the sauna. Faye would get a glimpse of naked ass before the towel covered it again, and then steam would fill the room anew as he poured more water on the rocks. After which, in true bisexual fashion, Billy simply laid out onto the floor of the sauna, hands hooking behind his head like a pillow as he stared up at the ceiling. The ground was stone; warm and wet to lay against. It felt good against his bony back and shoulders. “My therapist showed me that technique when my parents were getting divorced. I was constantly stressing over where I was going to live. France with dad or New York with mom. The secret is that anxiety is just a bunch of imaginary stuff that hasn’t happened yet and probably never will. So once you learn how to pull yourself into the present, you can ask yourself if your brain is just making up the stress. Most times it is.” He sighed, a smile on his lips. “It got to a point where I could just trace circles on my thigh or my knee, and I would calm down. Haven’t used it in years, though. Now you can have it.” He ignored entirely her request to help him. It would take a major mental breakdown before Billy even realized he needed help with something.

--

“I don’t know why but I never expected you to be the material sort.” Faye noted with a teasing grin. She knew there was so much more to him than money or anything like that but she had to play along. “No worries, I guess. Starting a business is a lot of work and I hardly have time enough as it is. Although, if you do find a lucrative sugarmomma or daddy, please see if they have any children because I’m honestly desperate for physical touch at this point.” Faye sighed, releasing a sound she’d had trapped in her for some time but had been too afraid to release until in the safety of an enclosed space. “I think I’m broken, B.” Her head rolled to the side and she fixed her gaze on him, “I’m lonely. And desperate. And I ache to just be in love but that’s not what’s around here. No one needs that around here. And I should be fine with just sleeping around but I know myself. I’m broken. The first person to say something nice to me, I fall. Hard and fast. And then I’m left in the dust which I knew would happen. But I don’t know how to fix it. How to fix my heart or guard it. And so I stay lonely and the hopeless romantic that others mock. I’m an enigma. I don’t fit her but I’m sure if I left I wouldn’t really fit in anywhere.” She placed her hands over her face and mumbled into them, “And I don’t mean to complain. I don’t but fuck. I’m lonely.” She laughed. Because, at this point, she couldn’t shed tears for it; for her situation. All she could do was laugh at how pathetic she was. But Billy was safe. He was her person that she confided in. The one she was never afraid to share her feelings with. “So what I’m saying is... find me a sugar whatever as well. That way my obsession can turn to the money rather than emotions.”