Untitled

Some people only have an image where a need was never met. A need for a family. A need for wholeness. A need to be loved and to feel loved. A need to feel complete. And need to be taken care of and to to be acknowledged. A need to stop the pain and the sadness and the confusion. A need for someone to care. A need for answers. And so their mind created an idea of what it’s like to know that love and to have that family. And their dreams had an image but meant everything to them. They wanted to have their own family so they could love and be loved in return. And this image and this idea of this family is what helped that child get through sadness. On through the teenage years, the main and only goal was still the family. On into adulthood, the family remained the life goal. The only problem was, was that somewhere along the way, the idea had became less of an idea and more of just an image. So much of who they could have been growing up had to be replaced because too much time had been wasted being sad. And the adults in their life were examples that feelings were not important so instead of wasting time on those,they get thrown out instead of sorted. They grew up with no real example of a parent who loved them unconditionally so that will never feel natural and they won’t be able to actually love someone. And they were raised to believe that their true feelings were irrelevant so that’s how they know how to treat others and their feelings. And by the time they make it to wanna start their little families, they won’t possess a single characteristic that it takes to contribute to the life and building of a loving family. But hey they still have the image though. So they think whatever fits is what makes a family. And they take a few things that give them the idea of family and the piece it all together to make one big picture of a family. Or at least it looks like an image of a family. All the things that make a family a family like love and understanding and all that are not that important anymore. Because once again, that’s what they have been taught. And so they just continue to move forward with the plan lacking every crucial component and then once they are there and they finally have their little family, they are once again met with an emptiness where they thought feelings of completeness should go. It is extremely sad and so mostly these people just go back to putting the image pieces together as good as they possibly can. Their image is important to them because it’s all they got. And it’s at least better to look at then it is to turn back and look at their pain. If anything I’m sympathetic towards them

A letter to Lani❤️