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@bpdoggo
im so so happy
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i’m mentally ill too but fucking listen to me here. you need to take responsibility for your actions regardless of whether or not they’re a product of your mental illness. you don’t get to manipulate, gaslight, take advantage of, or straight up abuse people because you’re mentally ill! you don’t! what the fuck! why are some of you still thinking it’s okay to say things like “manipulation is okay because i have _____ and need attention from my significant other” oh my god. Don’t fucking do that
someone: are you high or something?
me, dissociating: :)
why the fuck did i fall in love with a straight girl i hurt so much i wish i never realized it wasnt platonic or i wish she was gay i wish i was the exception
sometimes having her be straight is comforting because it’s not personal like if she was gay she’d date me but sometimes having her be straight sucks because it’s personal for me but i’m just like anyone else to her and it hurts
me diagnosed with depression: im so mentally unstable,
me diagnosed with bpd a couple years later: i dunno, im probably the most stable person i know, i havent had a meltdown since 5 minutes ago,,,
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
ways to start feeling again
sit in the sun without anything to do, feel the heat of the rays hit your skin, realize that this sunlight has travelled a very long way to reach you
walk around barefoot and try to feel as much of the ground under your feet as you can, notice every rock and blade of grass
sit quietly for a while and notice the touch of breath in your nostrils, feel how the air gets cooler as you inhale and warmer as you exhale
drive around aimlessly and blast some of your favorite songs, scream/sing along to them and feel the vibrations of your favorite lyrics as they change the air in your throat and around you, feel that the music is healing you from the inside out
stay away from alcohol or drugs for a few days, try to be as aware and present as you can in every moment, stop trying to numb or dull your senses
eat a few meals without any distractions, notice every bite and taste every flavor that covers your tongue, be grateful for it all
look up at the stars and the moon, understand how small we all are and how immense the universe is, realize what a miracle everything is, let your heart swell with amazement and admiration for life itself
ok this is actually cool bc doing all of this is a technique called “mindful thinking” that is extremely useful for people with anxiety disorders and dissociation disorders and stuff!
If you wore a vr headset linked to a camera drone that was set to follow you from a few feet behind you could live in third person.
disassociating
If you can’t dissociate naturally store bought is fine
personality tests are fun
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It’s so great that you’re doing so well! Do you have any tips for how you got to where you are now?
my #1 tip is to find a therapist/psychiatrist that actually helps you. i had to go through a few before i finally found one who i had a good connection with and that helped tremendously. i also was lucky enough to have a fp that was really helpful and understanding and like it was different with her bc she made me want to get better for her instead of me wanting her to make me feel better uk what i mean? so like if you can find a way to change your thinking and find something that motivates you to get better it definitely helped me a lot. im not sure exactly what tips people need bc everyones different and they have different experiences and problems but im happy to help if anyone wants to msg me with specifics or anything
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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hey fam its been a really long time n i was thinking and i guess i just wanted to give an update
so i used to be in a really terrible place and i was convinced that i was better off dead and my relationships were really rocky and i was so attached to whatever fp i had at the time and i was self harming and starving myself and all that terrible shit that comes along w mental disorders
i just wanted to let you know that things do actually get better like. i dont really have a fp anymore which used to suck because i felt lost without one but now it’s in a good way like i dont need one and im ok enough on my own. i havent wanted to kms in so so so long like i dont remember the last time i genuinely wanted to die and ive been clean for over a year (over 2 years if you dont count a hiccup). im not perfect at all but im in a much better place than i used to be and i just wanted to lyk that bc i always thought itd always just get worse and worse and worse but it doesnt always
IF YOU'RE HAPPY AND YOU
are scared because you know it’s gonna turn into pure misery in like an hour CLAP YOUR HANDS
Fuck anyone who says I have to forgive everyone, “for my sake.” I worked hard for this anger. I worked hard to love myself enough to hate them.
Shit, yeah, this is a thing that is hard to articulate. Some people don’t feel healed by forgiving the people who hurt them, because that’s what they kept doing over and over and it only led to getting more hurt. Sometimes you feel healed when you’re finally brave enough to say “This person was horrible to me, and I did not deserve that treatment, and I don’t have to be okay with it.”
unstoppable force (my compulsive need to overshare) vs. immovable object (my paranoia that saying anything will cause everyone to hate me)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
bpd thing i love: the sickening feeling you get in your stomach after getting hit by an extreme emotion from one second to the next
i gotta fuckin chill lol
