boysrunaway

todays build up went quite shitty and am now 2! full days behind schedule but did go out with some friends after cause they had a gig and it was at such a nice place. while going home we sheltered from the rain in our club and i just called with a friend for an hour... and the wristbands for the opening of the expo arrived making things feel more real now... things are bad and yet things are good

10 hour long days the coming week but i am building my installation... so far only one thing broke, i've had to make countless trips to the hardware store, money's running out, a terrible lack of sleep and showers and meals, i spend every free second chainsmoking. the artists way

Being a creative person is fun and all until you find yourself having to make this dumb grandiose idea you had a reality… why didn’t I just stay in my comfort zone, everyone is expecting something great now meanwhile I have NO idea how I’m going to pull this expo off. No skills no hope left just faking it and praying I’ll make it work… So anyways I’ve felt insane lately how about you 🫡

Growing older is getting scary. Everything is so different now. I don’t know what to do with these memories. Where to put them down. No one here to see me maybe only cause I never let someone again. Funny how life turns into so many Before X and After X’s. I say funny because I don’t know what else to do but laugh. A twisted joke on my trail. Tired of running and yet already dreaming of the next place that won’t feel like home either. Sometimes I think I miss being a dumb teenage boy pretending to like some girl just to like a girl & that was the full extent of my problems, but that’s just another lie considering everything. I was never a good child, the only difference is now there’s no one held responsible but me. I was a lonely child & maybe men never learn. Tell me why I still feel homeless even with a roof above my head. Tell me anything at all