I had a dream my life would be-

THIS IS A TOUGH QUESTION. v. tough. I spent.. quite a long time google image searching before making this decision. Let me first say that all butts are beautiful and I especially love all 1D butts, but if I must make an order, here goes. 

5. Zayn Malik

I’m so sorry, but Zayn’s ass is just almost non-existent. There’s nothing to grab there. Like poor Hank Hill, he suffers from a devastating disorder called Diminished Gluteal Syndrome. It’s not his fault that his body put everything it had into the shoulders.

4. Harry Styles

It pains me to say this about my perfect soulmate, but Harry’s butt is just not one of his stronger suits. Is it a sweet lil bum that I’d love to kiss? god, GOD YES! but could it hold its own in a random butt line-up? I’m sorry to say, no.

3. Niall Horan

I almost put Niall at #2! He has such a cute little bum. It’s so nice and proportionate to his small frame. I wanna squeeze it! Just imagine grabbing that tiny Irish tuckus. You’d never let go!

2. Liam Payne

Uh, yea. Just look at that thing. 

1. Louis Tomlinson

fuck it I'm not even putting this in tags, this motherfucker lookin like an early 80s southern detective who's just tired of the questions from the new kid on the force who he's forcing to have a beer with him in his dark shitty apartment after shift