fucking tired

hey. it's really funny to read through all these sad posts bc things have only gotten worse but like actually. i'm homeless, carless, and 3,000 miles away from my family. i don't have a job, i don't have my meds, and i can't afford food. this shit quite literally only gets worse

i don't want to be strong, i want to be taken care of

sometimes i think i'm only good for a quick fuck, but then i remember that i'm not even very fun to have sex with 👍

my partner made a birthday post for their girlfriend and cat but.... not me. that's crazy lol

i miss when i would look up and catch you staring at me. i'm sorry i don't try as hard to be attractive for you.

i don't think i'm the one you're going to marry and have kids with. i think maybe you don't think that either

i guess i wanted too much.

i just want to be held

i'm scared. i'm scared there's no getting better. i'm scared that i'll always be the one dragging behind, the one everyone has to take care of

i dunno if i'm happy. not sure i've been happy for a long time

you want me and you love me and that's all you say but i'm still so terrified that i'm going to lose you. i love you please don't leave

i think i'm going to kill myself

got high to have fun and maybe sleep a little. now i'm just sad instead yay

drunk and alone after a weekend away from home. happy fucking easter.