Awkward Silence

someone: so what are u doing this weekend

Why should I be sad? I have lost someone who didn’t love me. But they lost someone who loved them.

Missing someone you once loved is not love; it’s the feeling of them that you’ve missed. Their ways of making you smile when you’re down. The moments you spend together after midnight trying to understand your messed up lives. The times when you call them just because you hate being lonely. It’s all coming at you now and you only want them to be there for you. To always be there for you. Well, the only way to move on is to believe, to know and to let it all sink in that you are not meant to be together and you can’t ever change that.

And suddenly we looked at each other for the first time in 5 months with tears streaming down her face. It was all too familiar, the feeling of wiping her tears off her face. Her cheeks were always so soft. They were red from the yelling and crying. ‘I loved you so much. I loved you so much’ I didn’t know what to say. It felt strange using it in past tense. You looked back at me with red eyes, ‘I loved you too. I loved you a lot’ But we were toxic. We both said it, I had no room to disagree. ‘We were never going to work’ And it hit me that this, this moment was what I had been waiting for since the moment you left me. The tears, the eerie nostalgia, the fact that we looked at each other and said that although we are no longer in love, we can say that yes, we loved each other. And maybe we were right for each other at a time. But we became two people that weren’t meant to be together as we grew. We loved each other, but we were never going to work

me: protect the bees!!!