before lips could chance the opportunity to speak once more, words were devoured in a single touch. the grasp on her thigh tightening as breath hitched. invasion of personal space, something she hadn’t predicted to be returned. it was a territory many knew better not to enter, that breach of comfort daring upon fatal outcomes. yet for ambrose this was broken, her own boundaries cast aside. this was new. this disowning of everything her compulsion suffocated her with, a moment of trust.
words rung in her ears, the feeling of being helpless sinking in. ivy could only keep her eyes on him, suppressing any thoughts that could flick back to her brother. fingertips buried themselves within his locks guided him closer, hand ghosting over the nape of his neck pulling him into her embrace. “ it’s safe. ” it was useless repeating herself, but any train of sense had fallen apart. she too was weak, a fallen comrade in this war of control— the blind leading the blind.
a breath in for seven seconds, hold for four and out for eight. chest to rise and fall as she attempted to compose a thread of sanity but all is lose as the contact is broken, watching as ambrose withdraws. it’s within this moment of silence that eye line following his to the knife. it a twinge of fear that consumes her, a panic of the unknown damage he could cause. yet still features keep neutral, concern far too over whelming to worry about her own safety. “ i promise. ”
everything is so rapid, his own movements mirroring whatever is going on within his mind. it’s near impossible to keep up, eyes are heavy an unseen tiredness lingering. gaze drifts back to the knife, a sudden realization that settlement on the floor was a moment of pure madness. soles of her feet, knees lifted and within one moment she has reached his height almost parallel. tears soaked her eyes and stomach churned raw tiles beneath her feet stinging her compulsion.
ambrose doesn’t allow time for the shock to sink in, the weight of his hands against her head dragging all attention away. hands float with no intentions, gaze locked with his. she’s taking it all in, searching for a logical yet practical solution. this fall of silence needed but broken too soon. he’s moving once again, unstable but now what is needed is presented to her.
“ i’ll get them but you need to sit down. listen to me ambrose, i need us to get out of the kitchen. ” tone remained soft, a hint of begging lacing words. ivy couldn’t be of help when she herself was uncomfortable and this time she couldn’t give him a choice. stepping closer she placed her hand on his lower back, an attempt to guide him out the door. “ go to the sofa. i will bring you everything you need. ” thoughts return to the knife, body twists leaning down to grab the handle, throat tightening at the possible germs. “ here. ” ivy whispered, turning back and holding it out, awaiting him to take it. “ be careful. ” it was tempting fate, handing back a mans weapon.
a shiver runs its course through his body as her fingers tighten in his locks, allows her to pull him close for a moment with a shuddering sigh. “ safe. ” it’s whispered, repeated into the soft material of her shirt, half-inaudible. he doesn’t believe her, can’t. mind, body, won’t let him. her promises mean nothing to him because to ambrose she was naive, not ignorant but naive. hadn’t run through sprayed bullets or tripped over dead bodies in haste to survive. she had no clue what could be lurking in the dark, behind every corner, waiting to spring at them. to hurt them, to hurt her. doesn’t think he’d be able to live with himself if he let anything happen to her under his watch.
he’s not used to eye contact, to sharing this much personal space. to having this open of a conversation. doesn’t know if it’s the look in her eyes or the slight tremble in his hands as he holds her face but his heartbeat slows down to a normal speed. thinks maybe it’s the fear vibrating from her, knows how bad he’s fucking things up right now. apprehension ebbs and by the time the knife is in his hand he’s not quite sure he needs it anymore. but she’s persuasive enough, soft tone beating down his own fear with a single hand on his back, that his body loses tension almost completely. feels worn down, worn out, but nods once.
knuckles clench, paling, against the handle of the weapon as he gives her one last look. swallowing thickly, ambrose leans down to give her a quick peck on the cheek, catching himself off guard, before moving away. there aren’t any words coming to his mouth so he keeps it closed, mind already boggled, and moves swiftly to the living room to wait for her. he wouldn’t blame her if she called the police or, hell, just left. not sure what he’d do if he was in her position, but he hopes that she’ll stay. that she’ll take care of him, as much sa he knows he doesn’t deserve it.
