🤑 under the influence

So in most biblical texts it never actually states that Adam and eve were the only humans. It states that they were the only humans allowed in the garden of eden. I've been watching animal documentaries and in one of them someone refrances the garden of eden. In Context: (animal species) haven't or has chose to stay in the garden of eden.

What if the garden was more of a "mental" state if you will. Wild animals lives consist of finding food, and avoiding predators etc. They don't go to work, make money, things most humans do.

What if God tested Adam and lillath to see if he put all humans in the garden of eden if they would stray out of this animal like State called "garden of eden" when lillath failed she would have been kicked out because she chose to leave the garden. It's not that she was forced to leave she chose to and could not get back because her mind was no longer "in the garden" Adam remained loyal to the garden and was rewarded with eve who strayed too far out of this mental wild animal like state and convinced Adam to do so as well... the garden is not a real place but more of a peace of mind. They didn't have to worry about food worry about poison plants plants that could be harmful to them . Until they left this state of mind.

As a result God did not nessarrly punish humans he made the earth more challenging, less forgiving. Because he made us in his own image but as a result we also had "devine" thought. The ability to be self aware, able to make and think to fix complex problems.

The garden of eden was a test. A test to see if he put humans in an animal like mental state would we find a way out? And the answer was yes.

I was an outcast by my grandparents' eyes, and I still sort of am. Oh gosh, where to start. Let's start with this

A little insight. on this side of the family I have 3 grandparents 2 of which are biological and separated and 1 of which is a step grandparent still married into the family by my bio grandfather. This has to do with all 3 of them. But for right now, it's just my grandfather and his wife.

Let's see so many memories where to start. Well, I guess my earliest memory would be Christmas eve. We live about 3 hours away from them so I never saw them too often. Every Christmas Eve, they would throw a family party. During the earliest one I remember I was the youngest grandchild so when they handed out gifts I would be the last and they would hand me a what can be described as a "santa" bag with a bunch of different things in it. Heres where it turns bad. It was the last Christmas for me to receive this bag it had normal things, cloths, socks, underwear, cheap toys, etc. Now this is a good size family. Easley 25 or so people would show up. Not only was I the last one to receive gifts I also was the one to receive the cheapest gifts as well. And I know what yall thing "well how selfish" or "you should be more grateful" and to that I respond. It was never about being great full for what they gave me it was how I always got the ass end of what was being dealt.

Well what do you know I noticed my cousins getting not only more stuff but igher value stuff from out grandparents. And um not talking 10 - 20$ stuff I'm talking bout 50$ + on several items on several occasions. So I ask my mom whay that was and she told me "it's because they celebrated Christmas here and they didn't celebrate on Christmas day" I was 5 is perhaps a bit younger so I accepted that as an excuse.

My parents were livid and have been since they started doing this. This was like one of the "last straw moments"

A couple years go by to my next memory. This one happened on my birthday... or the week of my birthday. They wanted to celebrate. Ine and a few others birthdays on 1 day. We all went to the beach my parents didn't bring Me a gift because of when my birthday was. We swam and of corse none of the other kids my age in the family would play with me so it was me and my dad. Despite him trying to get me to play with the other kids when they wouldn't play with me. At the end of the beach trip all sat at a bench where they had 2 cakes. 1 for one of the cousins who was turning 16 for here and her parents and who ever joined them the second one went to siblings who had birthday the same month. And I kid you not I was given a cupcake and a juice box. And was told to sit at the end of the table while everyone dis they're thing. Gift giving came around again where the other 3 received alot of gifts of high value. I received a .50 cent hotwheel car. At this point I just wanted to go home as usual because I have been once again treated unfairly.

A year or so goes by and my cousin from my mom's side joins us one summer weekend because of her mom being in the hospital recovering from a procedure. One of thease evenings we all sat down for dinner my mom, dad, me my cousin and my grandparents. My cousin sat next to my mom and my mom made her a plate even though I typically sat next to my mom with no fault of my cousins my dad made me sit by him. Where he threw stuff he knew I didn't like on a plate and then required me to eat it. Upon refusal I then had my grandfather attempting to shove food down my throat because "it was what was on my plate" after about 10 ish minutes of fighting and everyone yelling at him to stop he proceeded to grab me by my arm and lock me in a closet for over an hour. After I profusely told my dad not to put what i refused to eat on my plate.

Some time goes by. Once again another summer shows up and I end up letting my parents convince me to spending a week with my grandparents 4 hours away when I didn't want to in the first place. Alot of stuff took place during the summer week for example. I have scoliosis and as a result have back pain. My grandfather proceeded to kick a chair out from under me and throw it across the room because it was a sign of me being "lazy". In the same week we went fishing with one of his friends and his daughter. I take time getting use to handling fish but I can do it my self. He then made fun of me and wouldn't give me a chance to get a fish off the hook. Then complained when he decided to harass me and not fish for himself. We caught 75 fish total that day btw. So I don't know what his complaint was.

I have a gay cosin, who is married. (This is important) just after him and his husband's honeymoon our grandparents threw a get together for friends and family.

Now it's important to say I was an "outcast" on this side of the family and tbh I still am to an extent.

This happend maybe in 7th grade or so.

Anyway him and his husband obviously came to this get together. Let's call my cousin Thomas and his husband... idk, his husband. Not to give too much away. At this point I obviously knew about sex but didn't really care too much, I mean I was like 14 or 15 (I started school late because of my birthday) Thomas was somewhat considered and outcast but he was more welcomed than I was.

Just to clarify my grandfather was the one that cast me aside not my step grandmother.

Thomas and I got along really well. So I was sitting with him, his husband and some other family such as Thomas's sister and a few others. No one was really talking to me so I buried my face in my phone. All of a sudden I over hear the husband go *talking about the honeymoon* "yah, I was railed by Thomas the train engine every night"

I kinda knew what he ment and also thought it was mildly inappropriate. But I didn't care too mcuh to say anything. To this day I think it is the most insane thing I have ever heard in my life.

Now this is where it gets twisted. He is soon to be released, which for numerous reasons we will talk about I don't agree with. But i know somebody who has evedance that he hasn't changed despite what he is presenting himself to be. But to understand that, let's go back to just before he got arrested.

The leading days to his arrest (keep in mind he was on illeagal substances) he harassed everyone in the family. From his mom to the 7 aunts and uncles and everyone in between. With out going into detail he harassed both if his sisters. Calling it harassment is taking it lightly. That same week he broke into my home and stole my father's cloths and one of his uncles duffel bags to "deliver" "goods" that same day the previously mentioned illeagal firearm was brought to my mom's attention. Nothing was said nothing came out of this man's ill mouth. Just a blank, emotionless stare right at my mom. On the same day as well my mom was babysitting my 2 younger cousins. He purposely told them that a tornado (it was storming out) was going to kill them and left the house. Quite a few things after that happened that I vaguely remember, but I can't pull them forward for some reason. Anyway. The next week he was arrested at burger King and sent to a rehab/corrections facility. Things genuinely seemed like they were turning around for him, which was strange because he's been in jail before and he came out with noting different about him. Some time goes by as his mother updates the family. People asked me to send him money to which I did not. Last year, around this time his claim was he was becoming an ordained minister for the church. Which once again struck me as odd. He was never a church going person. But the pastor of the church that I occasionally frequent that all my family goes to saidhe was doing better and how he was meeting with him every so often to help him get ordained. Hopes started increasing that things might potentially be changing for him.

I now believe I was wrong. Recently our uncle had passed over a substance overdose. And strange things happened (that's for another story). He claimed he saw our uncle with our deceased grandmother. His mom. It was an entire thing for a different story. One of my cousins stayed with me during my uncles service because she came from Kentucky. I was brought to attention of a list of things he wanted is girlfriend pinpal to search for him. One of which was a very specific illeagal substance traid in my state.