Just Trying My Best

Age: 25

Personality type: ISFJ

Location: United Kingdom

Pronouns: She/her

Sexuality: Questioning…

21+ please! Do not interact if younger than 21.

Account type: sharing my interests and venting about my job and life.

I currently work in healthcare and I’m working on getting more qualifications to progress in my current job role.

Likes

I tried to come out to my mom when I was around 15, she laughed in my face and said that there was no way I was gay because

1. I wasn’t masculine presenting like “real” lesbians she knew.

2. I had mentioned a boy (key word boy, not boys) that I liked.

And 3. I wasn’t old enough to know what I wanted.

Essentially I was drop kicked back in to the closet and developed a lot of internalised homophobia and was then too nervous to explore my sexuality for a very long time, I kind of just lived my life as a straight girl up until late last year where I’d met a woman who was interested in me and actually made me feel quite comfortable in my sexuality.

Until I told her I was a virgin, to which she called an ick and never spoke to me again.

I totally understand why me being a virgin at 25 is off putting to a lot of women, no one wants to be someone’s first and have to deal with inexperience.

However I’m really sick of being labelled as a curious straight woman who wants to tick lesbian sex off her bucket list, I KNOW I’m attracted to women I’ve just only really come to terms with it myself.

I haven’t been in education in forever and studying is way harder than I thought it was going to be, luckily I am able to resubmit which I’ll probably end up doing today.

I feel bad because I knew what I was submitting something that wasn’t great but just thought “oh well, I’ve done it now so I can forget about it and focus on other things” which was always my issue when it came to education in my teens, I’d just submit half arsed work that I knew was barely a passing grade or even a fail because in my mind that didn’t matter because I put it in regardless and that was better then not doing it at all.

I think that’s why my teachers were always so pissy at me, they knew I could do way better and they knew I knew that, but I just genuinely couldn’t be arsed.

My sources: vibes and intuition, the spirits, hope and passion.

First off hair!!!

I definitely think we’re going to see more colourful hairstyles this summer, I especially think that dip dyed hair is going to be prevalent.

Hair tinsel is going to be popular among celebrities at festivals this year, it’s easy and a quick way to add a pop of colour.

Flower crowns are back and I blame coachella, though theyre going to be more medieval inspired flower hairstyles and intricate braiding, people will be weaving flowers in their hair.

Makeup is going to be a mix of clean girl and party girl, I know everyone is saying that “clean girl is dead” but I think she’s still going to stick around with less intense lashes and brows and more emphasis on adding colour, blush, and gemstones.

Bit random but I think funky hair clips and slicked back hair styles are going to be really popular.

Open access courses exist for a reason, there is no shame in doing them to progress academically and anyone who makes you feel dumb for taking them is ignorant.

Resitting your exams is so much easier as an adult, especially because your mental health is 10x better and tutors for adult classes tend to be way more relaxed and supportive, you’re also able to admit that you’re struggling and ask for help instead of suffering in silence.

Part time classes and flexible course work are much easier to handle than diving in head first in to full time classes with strict deadlines, if it makes education easier and your grades are better with that type of structure then it’s what you need to do and there’s no shame in that.

I just keep putting it off, ideally I want to pass before summer and I know if I applied myself I could do it but simply wanting it isn’t enough motivation.