💗

No matter how shitty it might feel in the moment, most of the time when someone comes to you to communicate a boundary or a need or a negative feeling about something you did, it is actually a compliment. They are telling you BECAUSE they care about you and want it to work between you and because they trust you to care to do better. If they didn't care about you, they'd just avoid you. That uncomfortable convo is in fact a declaration of love and trust. Or at least intention of friendship. If they didn't like you, they'd just try to avoid you whenever possible. They wouldn't care to have The Talk (which is often scary and uncomfortable for them also). So try to treat their trust with care, even if it really upsets you to learn that you've accidentally hurt them

there’s nothing wrong with darting out from behind a parked car into traffic

I love Doris and she is so cute but also she looks so much like Teddy Roosevelt sometimes that I can't help but laugh

“word hashtag my word #myword” has done irreversible damage to my vocabulary

Back when I was a redditor (😔) I realized a strange phenomenon. No one cares about your original posts, but if you make the post on another site and screenshot it, people assume it’s a tweet from someone who is known/is funny/etc and the post would do way better

aborted bloke: i would’ve loved to do fuck all

ah shit they're gaining on us. we gotta jettison some weight. throw all those stolen boomerangs out we don't need em

On it, boss!

Bad news, boss!