“I’m quite certain I never owned a guillotine, so why is there suddenly one in my front yard?”
“That’s not exactly a light load to move, especially up a mountain path. Someone took a lot of effort bringing it here, and I’m not sure if I should consider it a gift, a bad omen, a threat, or another stupid prank.”
“The plot thickens: I woke up this morning and now there is a stockade situated beside the guillotine. My yard looks like a damned executioners square.”
“Maybe these new, ominous, additions will deter potential annoyances. Maybe.”
“Ok, who left the severed head beside the guillotine? Fess up. Who’s head is this anyways? I better not get in shit over this.”
“Had some visitors from Aeol Drias. They were worried about the “Inquisition Basin” my yard has become, and didn’t believe me when I told them they weren’t mine, but left here at random.“
“Yet another addition this morning: I am now staring in disbelief at the gallows built around one of my larger trees. This is ridiculous. Why take this much effort? Why waste resources turning my yard into a public sentencing square? I’m at a loss…”
“And this is why I am an advocate of science! With proper surveillance and protection technology installed in your yard, not only the identity of such pranksters would be revealed overnight, but would ALSO have them refraining from deploying such silly (and exceptionally antiquated, frankly) contraptions in it ever again! Because the security systems would shoot them on the spot. Possibly with lasers! If you choose the right model! Eha!!”
“And how would the lasers know to shoot them and not me? What if my silence causes the system to malfunction? I’m far from tech savvy, and to be completely honest, intimidated by the sound of all this.”
“Whist I could spend an elongated period of time enlightening your mind over the intrinsic matters which pertain security technology recognition software, or how its’ systems can be shut down at command by the abode’s respective owner; allow me to dispell - anti-magic joke, eha! - your doubts with but a simple observation: What manner of loon roams or fights on their estate’s yard late at night when they should be indoors sleeping instead?! *Ahem* Thus, much like how _some_ things shouldn’t be put together (lest you also are trying to be a man of science and run experiments, like me!), I am certain nothing will malfunction so long as you keep your abilities on the battlefield, and not near your residence. ... But in case you happen to use them regardless - out of training or whatever other reasons you might require - please do it, like, at least a few three dozen yards away from whatever machinery you might have around. ESPECIALLY the ones which fire - lasers or otherwise!”
