Uzi

sheepstealer

Okay, so besides being an excellent hairdresser (did anyone else notice that the first thing he did after his little outburst was fix his fringe? Priorities, people) Ormund is apparently also an aesthetician, an image consultant and an artisanal perfumer.

He is so obsessed with his little homemade fragrances, and apparently so germophobic, that he even sits there sniffing them while taking a bath. For some reason. Fine.

Then Alicent tells Rhaenyra that Ormund has an extremely sensitive sense of smell, just in case the show had not made this subtle character trait sufficiently obvious yet.

But… what kind of strategic information is that supposed to be?

Is Daemon going to defeat him by farting in his general direction? Is Rhaenyra going to forbid her army from bathing for several weeks and send them marching toward Tumbleton? Are they planning to weaponise medieval body odour?

Because unless his sensitive nose is connected to an actual vulnerability or something he can detect (poison, smoke, an ambush, anything) Alicent has essentially handed Rhaenyra a piece of character trivia and presented it like military intelligence.

"Ormund Hightower has a very sensitive sense of smell".

Okay. And? Should they attack him with garlic?

And even if they manage to incapacitate Ormund with garlic, dragon shit or whatever… what about the rest of his army? Do all the soldiers immediately perish the moment their commander's sensitive nose is defeated? Does the entire Hightower host collapse because Ormund smelled something unpleasant?

THE HOUSE OF CRISMOND IS EVERYTHING

#we've been bamboozled

♡ Alysmond Modern Au

[please give credit]

𝑇𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑚𝑒 𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑛𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑤𝑒 𝑚𝑒𝑡

𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼'𝑚 𝑠𝑢𝑝𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑑𝑜

𝐻𝑎𝑢𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑏𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑔ℎ𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢

𝑂ℎ, 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑚𝑒 𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑛𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑤𝑒 𝑚𝑒𝑡...

Rhaenyra and Alicent through the years