The Flowers In My Stomach Are Dead

I didn’t want to let you go But god I had to You were the source of my pain You were the one who destroyed me But it was always my fault So I left You got mad and angry and threw a fit like a kid You hit yourself Threatened me Turned into a monster I looked into your eyes and they were just an empty void You didn’t want me to go I had to I remember leaving and wondering how I was with you for so long Why I put myself through that Why I let it get that bad Why I let myself get so deep I was scared to leave You consumed me But then I remember All those old memories The ones where we were happy In the beginning I kept holding on to that Hoping you’d go back to that Turn back into the boy I fell in love with The one who made me laugh And held me close Made me feel a new emotion I didn’t think I was capable of feeling But you not him You left him somewhere in a ditch to rot You destroyed yourself Hes dead Unable to come back Devoured by the poison in your veins drown in alcohol Without you I’ve become me again The person I use to be Sometimes I see you in things Sometimes I remember you I think I always will But you’re not you And the best thing for me Is to say good bye To grow again To flourish into the lovely flower I am Instead of being burned and ripped apart every time i try and bloom a bit more I now know what a toxic relationship is because of you You taught me what not to do And leaving No matter how hard it is Was one of the best things I ever did