whatever wherever whenever bagel blog

What I Wish I Had Said When My Mother Told Me She Had Cancer

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life is a party that nobody comes to

at least the ones that i've held.

i tried to plan parties for friends

but no one came

so i gave up and tried again

i tried to throw parties for strangers, just to have some fun

but they all had parties of their own

so no one showed, not one

i wished i had been invited

to a party i didn't have to plan

a couple times i invited myself

but that got me thrown in the can

in girl scouts, just 8, i tried to throw a party,

the other girls had success

i asked them to come to mine

they all had places to be, i guess

in high school i tried six times

for halloween, my birthday, and other things

but even if i made the food really cute

and the movie and games so fun

no one gave the doorbell a ring

not a single one

it's confusing to me now

people say you gotta ask for what you want

but when i tell people im so sad and alone

and i wish they would spend time with me

however they might like

in big ways or small

it doesnt matter

they say "what do you mean? look what all you've got!"

"you're so lucky! you have such good friends!"

but it's from people i thought *were* my friends

so why then am i certain

that no one would care or notice

if my life came to an end?

why do i feel like no matter the place

no one will come to me in the end?

i go to them and im a fly on the wall

or just an escape to pretend.

im alone

im alone

i cry at the sky

why did you leave me here?

life began for me all alone.

favorite hobonichi pages, second half of the year. I'm really happy and proud that i finished my entire hobonichi techo this year.

hobonichi from 1st half of 2024: janvier /février / mars / avril / mai / juin

hobonichi from 1st half of 2024: janvier /février / mars / avril / mai / juin

favorite hobonichi pages, second half of the year.

hobonichi from 1st half of 2024: janvier /février / mars / avril / mai / juin

favorite hobonichi pages, second half of the year.

hobonichi from 1st half of 2024: janvier /février / mars / avril / mai / juin

favorite hobonichi pages, second half of the year.

hobonichi from 1st half of 2024: janvier /février / mars / avril / mai / juin

favorite hobonichi pages, second half of the year.

hobonichi from 1st half of 2024: janvier /février / mars / avril / mai / juin