im so fucking scared

its a miracle I hadn't kms

bruises on my thighs from MYSELF....... wtf is wrong with me

tell me its okay that im sensitive and that you love me before putting a pillow over my face

hold me as I cry and pet my hair and tell me im everything you wanted

one day someone will love me

am I a slave to other people's emotions in hell too

or am I supposed to be in hell

god send me someone that loves me for who I am now or ill do it

lucy vs losing everyone at once

god give me one fucking problem at a time

I am above my sadness

and you listen out of guilt, not care

I want to be held. I want to be worth something. im so alone.

I want everyone to FUCK OFF! im doing my service by staying in contact. I can barely handle reaching out anymore, because no one is around. but as soon as im gone, im a villain for abandoning my post.

more than anything, I hate being an emotional stepping stool. I hate being a gateway. I am not your tool, nor am I your whipping mule. why must I feel the weight of guilt, when you feel no remorse for how you have cheated me?

and im drained. I hate holding up people who can't hold themselves up for a long time. I hate that I haven't formed any real connections in my entire life. I want someone to protect me from others and themselves. I want people who fucking care about me, not the contrary.