[ryan screaming]

you know, i love the idea of the met gala in theory… but in practice its really the rihanna show and rightfully so cuz these other celebrities just disappoint, you telling me that you get a delicious, wild theme like CATHOLICISM and your first thought is a sparkly dress or a bland tux????!!?? Where is my 14th century pope??? Joan of Arcs??????Nuns???? Why don’t you look like you bout to take over renaissance italy with your banking empire?? You should look like u bout to poison somebody with a gem encrusted ring!!!! Like you about to split from the catholic church and start a war with spain!! this is the one event we plebs get to witness opulence at its grandest, i should feel like an enraged 18th century french peasant when i see your outfit, i should want to guillotine the entirety of hollywood but i aint seen nothin worthy of my guillotine tonight smh 

In approx. 6 months when all of Tumblr hates John Mulaney and wants to burn him at the stake for no apparent reason, I will remember the “John mulaney should be gay” posts as I sip my lemonade and watch the rabble dance on the ashes of yet another person they idolized into destruction

I’m so mad at how accurately you predicted this. This website…

oh. my. god.

This post has no reference or explanation and doesn’t need one at this time, but years from now we need people to remember when Smash Mouth murdered Khaled and solidified pussy eating culture

The fact that John Mulaney doesn’t think that he would be the twink in that scenario is the funniest fucking joke in this entire performance

exactly what someone who murdered princess diana would say

i hate ryan bergara bc he pronounces adíos as ay-dee-ose

this makes sense but im specifically talking about the time he was saying good bye to a place and said adíos

i hate ryan bergara bc he pronounces adíos as ay-dee-ose

And people think he can speak Spanish just because he’s part Mexican

no offense but sweet dreams are literally made of this and.. who am i to disagree

you have no idea….. how hard i smiled when ryan, with a crooked grin on his face, said with a wavering voice, “we’re back, baby” in the midst of the spirit box’s screeching