Valentines Rose Bulbasaur Figure made by Arkatz

Imagine you’re in a car, and are in charge of navigating while someone else drives. You have a list of tasks you must complete. You tell the driver to turn into the grocery store, and they keep going. Alright, at least we’re now we’re closer to the laundromat. Oops, missed that turn, you listening bud? They’re listening, they just don’t care. They park the car and buy candy, or a cold little drink, and they even share! But meanwhile you still don’t have groceries or clean laundry. You ask again to go to the grocery store, and again you are ignored as they drive in circles, not really going anywhere but using up all the gas. The next day, you do this again. And the next day, and the next. After a few days, you’re running out of food so you raise your voice as you pass the grocery store, and startle them into hearing you. They don’t talk to you for the rest of the day because they don’t like being yelled at, but at least you have groceries. At least now that you’ve bought groceries though, you can do laundry- Except you’ve driven past it again, and are once again driving aimlessly. So, again, the next day, you raise your voice. You yell, you shout, and you force them to take the turn. But then the next day they’re back to not talking to you, not listening to you, ignoring you, but your voice is rough and your throat is sore. You ask for help, but all you get is navigational instructions. No matter how much you explain that you know where the grocery store is, that you know how to get to the laundromat, people keep describing the directions while ignoring the issue that you still can’t GET there, because they all drive their own cars and can steer wherever they please. I’m tired of yelling. I’m tired of begging for drives because I can’t make the journey on my own. I’m tired of being in the passenger seat in my own life because I can’t make myself do the things I try to do. I’m tired of paying for fuel to go in circles.

Does capitalism make things significantly harder? Absolutely. But if capitalism were to vanish tomorrow, I still wouldn’t have the executive functioning to keep my space clean, to make myself food, or to stay consistent on my own chosen projects. I would still struggle with arfid. I would still have a delayed circadian rhythm. I would still struggle to make appointments and make phone calls for myself. And I would still struggle to connect with others or make friends with people who might help me with these things.

Look at the sky

So basically: eat, drink, sleep, walk, and talk. If you still feel like emotional ass after that, start looking for more involved explanations.

“i read a lot of right wing nonsense back to back and after a while i could see how it could convince people” yes! exactly! you could recognise the way it was trying to work and presumably it didn’t and that’s why you’re here on tumblrdotcom talking about it and not out there screaming at pride marches or drinking bleach for your case of shingles. your brain kicked in and noticed the mechanisms and instead of stopping to analyse what those were, how you stopped them and how to teach others to do the same you’re acting as if it was some lovecraftian magical mere exposure nonsense and there’s nothing to be done about it. “you are not immune to propaganda” does not mean “there is no way to recognise propaganda, or realise when you are being sold something, or catch it before it goes too far, your only hope is to just never ever look at any of it.” you’re not immune to sunburn either, but you can notice when it’s bright out and wear a hat and some sunscreen.