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@bonniewhit
There are too many books I haven’t read, too many places I haven’t seen, too many memories I haven’t kept long enough.
Irwin Shaw (via quotemadness)

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closed // @punkyronie location: outside the basement time: ???
darkness is natural. it is a part of the world, as inextricable as gravity or weather. and yet, staring down the steps to the basement, bonnie felt that the pitch below was something born instead of a terrible fiction. or another punishment, came the little voice at the back of her mind, and she clasped the ring in her pocket until it dug painfully into the skin of her palm. the light of the candle was just enough to light her own face and a few feet around her: an isolating illumination.
she had nearly gathered the courage to pick her way down the steps and look for something, anything, that might be helpful in these circumstances: a flashlight, a storm lantern, anything more concrete than just a flickering candle, when she heard footsteps down the hall. reflexively she flinched before the familiar face of verónica entered the small world of light around her. ‘boy, am i glad to see you,’ bonnie said, the words coming out with a slightly shaky laugh. ‘i keep thinking the silliest things, like there something stupid like ghosts or-’ she cut herself off, waving the words away with her free hand as if that would erase them from existence. ‘are you heading downstairs? i'm a bit nervous about getting stuck down there on my own.’
flattired·:
chapter : book i, chapter i location : the bar & lounge tagging : @bonniewhit·
if he remembers from the last time ( was that yesterday or a few weeks back ? ), the bar doesn’t exactly seem like the place bonnie would pick for herself, but that’s just a hunch on his part. however, getting people to enjoy themselves at bars was, quite literally, tommy’s job description. even if it wasn’t, he had decided a few times back, and he wouldn’t even try to decided when that was, that he’d look out for her. tommy knew he didn’t have too much advice on a lot of topics, but he did know how to survive and she seemed perhaps a bit out of her element here. perhaps a bit overeager, he plops himself across from her, smile wide enough you might not even need the flickering candlelight to see it.
‘ hey bonnie, ’ he greets her, voice carrying a slight melodic quality as he does so. ‘ not too bugged out about this, are ya’ ? you don’t seem like that kinda lady. ’ it’s a hopeful sentiment more than something he knew for certain to be true, but maybe he could convince her it was. ‘ i think the old guy’s messing with us or something. what about you ? ’
the lobby’s flickering lights had begun to feel like eyes in the darkness, as if she were out with the chickens at night and a coyote stood just within view. it was a feeling of being hunted inside the house, being followed and chase through a labyrinth of domesticity. the bar was a little better: more people passed through and the darkness seemed to encroach and suffocate a little less. at the sound of tommy’s voice she looked up from the napkin she’d been ripping absentmindedly into shreds.
‘i’m really-’ she stopped before saying anything else, seizing onto the world tommy set up for her. don’t be afraid. he doesn’t want you to be afraid. ‘-fine. thank you for asking, mr barnett.’ tommy reminded her a bit of the dogs that herded the livestock back at home: alert and happy, always flinging themselves down where the most people were. despite her nerves his presence wrung a smile out of her. ‘why would he do that, though?’ she asked, lowering her voice just a touch.
harrowgarrow·:
___
June couldn’t remember how long the lights went out. It could have been minutes, or it could have days, and it wouldn’t make a difference. Any time spent asleep was incalculable, and any internal clock that ticked while awake was unreliable. Even attempts at marking the hours on a candle proved fruitless.
At least June could use the candles for light.
She was hardly the first the come up with this idea. Another woman, who looked quite lost herself, managed with a few candles herself. No, she didn’t just look lost. She looked startled.
All because June unwittingly stepped on something crunchy.
“Not yet,” June said simply. June only knew that it was a power outage, and that nothing has been achieved yet. “Why? Did you find anything? I’m still trying to find flashlights. Maybe they’re in the basement, but I’m not going down there without some light.”
xit was strange how quickly she had become used to electricity. it wasn’t as if she’d never heard of it before, trips to larger towns had frequently come along with special visits to go listen to the radio: music, stories, politicians who made her father either very angry or very excited. but the first twenty-three years of her life had gone perfectly well without any electric lights in her own home. but now, suddenly without the ability to flick a switch and have light, it was worrying.
‘no, i’ve just found these candles. i’m not sure who lit them, they were already here when i came downstairs.’ she stood, picking one of the candles up and balancing it to be sure that it would not blow out or drip wax on her hand. ‘do you think it’s safe to go in the basement even with the candle?’ either way, she’d follow in this woman’s footsteps. the idea of being left behind again was far too much to bear.

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lucrloux·:
the sound of relief in her voice was comforting, seeing bonnie afraid was not something he enjoyed seeing. ‘ it was a brilliant idea, and thanks to said brilliant idea i was lucky enough to find you. ‘ a soft chuckle escaped his lips as the young man leaned back into his seat yet again. he had a horrible habit of speaking with his hands, and so the words he spoke often followed with wild hand gestures. this very moment was no excuse to that rule.
‘ i was thinking we might explore the rooftop? ‘ pausing momentarily the young man raised his brows slightly– a gleaming smile ever so present on his features. ‘ i think some fresh air, and a starry sky might be the best solution to whatever this is. ‘ he could tell that the current situation, the power outage, brought the young woman discomfort– and he wasn’t about to let that be the case for the rest of the night. he hoped, that maybe, being able to somewhat leave the raven house would ease her mind.
x
at the compliment she laughed a little, the corners of her eyes crinkling with a soft pleased expression. ‘i’d say i’m the lucky one, i don’t know how much longer i would have had to just sit there if you hadn’t shown up.’ she stood, keeping the candle steady as the dim glow bounced around the room, illuminating her surrounding and casting a shadow across her face.
as the light cut faintly through the darkness her eyes landed on a pile of paper on the desk. no, not paper. envelopes: heavy, fancy, glowing slightly as the light reflected off their surface. one on the top bore her name, bonnie whitaker, in an elegant hand. her fingers reached out, brushing against the paper and feeling the rasp on her skin before grabbing it and tucking it into her pocket. too much strangeness for the moment. she needed to think or to not think at all, and she turned her attention back to luc.
‘that sounds nice.’ it really did. the rooftop was perhaps her favorite place in the hotel, where she could close her eyes and pretend for a moment that she was simply outside back at home rather than feeling as if she were inside a glass case to be examined by some great unseen eye. ‘do you see any matches? or maybe bring an extra candle so that we aren’t trapped if this one blows out.’
ofasterisms·:
.
She followed the sound of the voice, glad there was some sign of life in the hotel. Once she entered the lobby, thanks to the light of the candles, she saw a young woman sitting down. The girl was familiar to her, Ela had probably seen her around before, but she didn’t believe that they had ever spoken. Not wanting to startle her she cleared her throat and gave a light, “Hey.” As a warning before she approached, eventually stepping into the light herself.
“I’m not sure what happened. Hopefully the empty lobby means people are off trying to find the electrical box.” If not she would venture off in search of it herself, but for the moment she was content just sitting and waiting it out for a bit. That is, if her presence was welcome. Maybe the young woman wanted some space. “Do you mind if I join you?”
x
the shadows pooled around the woman’s form as she stepped into the light and bonnie once again had the disconcerting feeling that there was something just out of sight that she was missing. something important. so the offer of companionship came as a great relief and she gestured to the chair across from her, perhaps a little too quick to nod. ‘yes, of course. i mean, i don’t mind.’
the woman looked familiar in the way that all inhabitants of the raven house eventually did, a way that was far too distant for the amount of time they spent in such close proximity. it was strange to live day in and day out with other people and not even know all their names. ‘i’m bonnie. what does the electrical box do exactly?’
lucrloux·:
his vision was of no use, for the flickering of a candle in the distance did not do much to help the situation. instead, luc found he had to rely on his sense of touch. an arm extended, fingers trailing against the wall he slowly wandered forward into the darkness. this entire ordeal, was possibly the only normal thing about the raven house. its usual functionality disturbed by something so ordinary as a power outage, and something about that brought his mind to ease. not before long, the young man had wandered into an open space, he could make out the silhouette of a young woman– nothing more. and then she spoke, and within an instant he placed the voice to none other than bonnie.
bonnie whitaker. kindness seemed to radiate off her, wherever she went. it was cute. a soft smile slipped across his lips as the young man moved out of the shadows, lingering by her side for a moment before taking comfort in the seat opposite her. ‘ ma chère… ‘ he paused, shifting his weight in his seat ever so slightly, his upper body leaning forward, arms resting comfortably upon his knees, ‘ surely, it nothing, the lights will return soon i’m certain. ‘ sky blue hues averted to meet her own, ‘ but for now… will you join me on an expedition into the unknown? ‘
x
the initial jolt of seeing a man step out of the darkness faded quickly as she recognized his face and she smiled in relief. ‘oh thank goodness, i was starting to worry everyone had vanished!” she exclaimed, twisting her fingers in the fabric of her skirt. the smooth texture was calming, it didn’t grate on her nerves like some of her old dresses had, tangling and hanging too heavy or too light. it had been the first gift she’d allowed herself in the hotel, a tentative question to the closet one night.
as luc sat down across from her she was grateful for the warmth of the candles. a better reason for the heat she could feel coming over her, ears burning in what was surely just nerves from the darkness. she wasn’t sure what the words he said meant, but the gentle tone sent her reaching into her pocket and gripping the cold metal band sewn inside. for comfort, for surety, she wasn’t quite sure. ‘i- i thought it would be smart to stay somewhere where others might come along, but- well, you’re the only one to show up so far and i’d rather not sit here alone any longer.’ reaching out, she lifted one of the candles by its holder gently, careful not to let it blow out. ‘where to?’
cherrydiversion·:
timestamp: —— , NULL . · location: where else? the raven house , MADNESS TAKES IT’S TOLL . · tagging: open for everyone !
when the power flickered the first time, macie thought maybe she was seeing things. maybe the exhaustion or the stress or something had finally caused her to snap. but then it happened again, and again, until finally the power disappeared completely, leaving the room with a gentle hum. “ shit, ” the word is blown out on a soft breath. fingers instantaneously slide down her thigh to reaffirm that the bowie knife, her safety net, was still within reach as if it ever left. it lessens the tightening in her chest. she fumbles around in the dark for the candle that is kept on the desk in her room. she’d only thought it was decorative. when her fingers finally find purchase on it, she realizes there’s no point. she doesn’t have a light.
stepping into the hall does nothing to help the uneasiness that has settled into her stomach. no emergency lights. what kind of fucking nightmare was this? there’s something, maybe it’s anxiety or knowing she’s been caught in situations like this before, that makes her grip the bowie. using her other hand, she feels down the wall as she walks for the dip that will lead to the stairs. it’s only when she hits the bottom that she runs clear into another body. “ fuck! ” c’mon sullivan, you’re better than that — but hey, at least you didn’t stab them.
x
she hadn’t seen the letter at first in the dull glow of the candles, would have missed it entirely if it weren’t for the light that burned out and forced her to move closer to the center of the room. it was nice paper, solid and heavy and neat, and the way her name was written would have been beautiful if she hadn’t been so frightened of the shadows pushing in around her. there had been the sound of footsteps moving fast and she had startled, slipping the letter into the pocket of her long skirt without really thinking about it.
the light seemed to twist a little, and she was reminded of nights when the cold seeped in even through the walls of their farmhouse, when the wind whipped up and they would all gather around a fireplace under every blanket and sweater owned. perhaps it was because of this memory that she didn’t hear the sound of steps until it was too late. an impact broke her from her reverie, sending her nearly to the ground before catching her balance on the very person who threw her from it. ‘i’m so sorry, i didn’t see- well, obviously i didn’t see, no one can, that was silly to say-’ she cut herself off, fingers still clutching at the arm in the darkness as if letting go would send her spinning off into the pitch yet again. ‘are you alright?’
time: ??? location: lobby
you needed a community to survive. bonnie had learned that before she was even weaned, before she began to speak. if your livestock die one year, if your harvest is plagued by insects and vermin, you don’t make it if your neighbors don’t step up to help. it was maybe the hardest thing about the hotel, being wrenched from her family, not knowing who here was telling the truth, what other people might have done to deserve this. bonnie had lived her life on stable soil and now far too often she felt as if she was tumbling through the air.
still clutching the items she’d been holding when the lights went off she finally made it safely down the stairway. maybe there would be more people down here, maybe even someone who knew what had happened with the lights. the candles glowing provided some relief and she hurried over to sit in their light. the room was silent for a while and she began to regret being in the light. so close to them, she couldn’t see out into the shadows, and it was as if she were all alone in the world. at last she heard footsteps and her heart leapt. ‘hello?’ she called out into the black. ‘are they- has anyone found out what’s going on?’

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I seek to be the sun. I want to be the kind of girl who brings flowers to bloom, to have my bones be made of pure light.
k.a. (via insp0s)