Girasole

｢ Very well, Shiza-kun! I’ll tell you my name then. Dazai — Dazai Osamu. Since I’ve inconvenienced you by subjecting you to witnessing my attempted suicide, I suppose I owe you a favor. ｣ He shakes his head quickly, much like a dog trying to rid itself of water in its fur. ｢ Though, I would like to request we keep the expenses low — I don’t have much money on me. ｣

He always did end up meeting the fools. Perhaps there was some sort of magnet on him that he wasn’t aware of. He could easily step away from Dazai and forget that this encounter ever happened, but because he knew the man was someone with suicidal tendency, there was a side of Caesar who felt that walking away was cowardly. So he would have to deal with being a bit moody around this strange man.

« You don’t owe me anything.  It could’ve been anyone else. »

｢ An accident? Oh no, it was no accident. I was trying to kill myself. ｣

Very blunt and to the point, but Dazai sees no reason to beat around the bush. He takes the edge of his coat and wrings it out, blinking up at the rather tall Italian man. ｢ What brings you around these parts of Yokohama— oh, sorry! I forgot to ask your name. ｣

That was unexpected. It was true that Caesar suspected the suicide to be done on purpose, but to hear the young stranger admit to it was surely unexpected. As for Caesar himself, he certainly didn’t hide the look of annoyance and surprise mixed into one. Perhaps saving the stranger was a mistake, and now he has run into a surreal experience.

It’s a familiar scene, one he remembers from the day he met Atsushi for the first time. A burst of water shoots from his mouth as he coughs and hacks, rolling over to pull himself up and cough once more toward the ground.

The worst part of drowning, Dazai thinks, is when he survives.

｢ To whom do I owe the pleasure of my safety? ｣ He looks up, eyes wide and reddened from the constant exposure to water. ｢ Ah — you’re foreign! ｣ He sits up abruptly, squinting his eyes. There’s a chance this man might be with the Guild, but Dazai would have caught onto that, wouldn’t he have? ｢ … I suppose I should thank you for saving me. It was an inconvenience for you to see a drowning man, I suppose, and I want a clean, non-inconveniencing death! ｣

A Japanese man? A strange one at that -- a man who considered a different kind of tragedy. Did he try to commit suicide? Caesar didn’t want to assume without a second thought, but the words from the stranger gave him something to be suspicious about. He looked at him with a careful expression, ready to observe the next move.

« I suppose this was an accident, right ?  You should be more careful if you don’t want to trouble others. »

It happened all too abruptly. One moment he was walking by an unfamiliar riverside, minding his own business, and the next moment he reacted with haste. He has jumped into the rushing water and pulled out a young man in a long beige coat. Quickly enough, he has dragged the stranger to the side of the ground and made sure to check for any signs of life. It was only then that Caesar could finally let out a sigh of relief.

❂ oh boy.

i’m aware that i gotta show some activity now, especially with new followers (hello btw !), but life has been quite depressing for me this month, and the misery is keeping me unmotivated.

however, that doesn’t mean i’ll stop rping Caesar.  it just means i need a bit of time, maybe a week or two, to take care of myself and soon enough i’ll get back to roleplaying.

so this is a short hiatus, perhaps ?

sorry for the inconvenience.

thanks to his ripple, he didn’t look like his age ( unlike suzie q.. ), but he did  grow old.. he assumed  that caesar would continue his training after the fight with the pillar man… lisa lisa certainly did look good when she was joseph’s age..

…

he reached out, grabbing caesar and pulled him into a hug. he was here.. caesar was here… with him.. he didn’t want to question it.. he didn’t want to know how. all he cared about was the man in his arms.

❝ it’s… been too long, caesar-chan ! ❞ 

It was startling at first -- with the way Joseph had grabbed him suddenly, and Caesar found himself making a small surprised sound as he was pressed against the old Joestar. He wasn’t questioned, he didn’t get an annoyed retort to his teasing -- instead he was brought into a tight embrace, and he could feel the warmth soothing his body.

he was ready to call it quits… this rejection weighed down on him.. on top of  the loss he went through. he wasn’t sure he could do this again– and he had places to be after all…

eh?? eh?? what did he say?!

he turned around, finger pointing at the italian male. a frown formed on his lips, clearly not liked that he was teased…

❝ tch…! you’ve got a lot of nerve! ❞

after a short while, he couldn’t help but grin a bit… this was him.. this was caesar. he couldn’t be mad at him– he couldn’t bring himself to remain ticked off… he was happy to see him

There it was. The teasing actually worked.

Caesar let out a quick sigh of relief but he didn’t stop his teasing there. An amused smile graced his facial features as he seemed as though he was ready to push the old man’s grumpy buttons further.

« Careful—— you don’t want to strain that back of yours. »

joseph couldn’t help but gulp a bit– he was sure that this was the zeppelli he has been missing for all these years.. so why was he denying it? did… he not feel the same?

although joseph couldn’t really blame him.. after all that happned– but he survived. he couldn’t believe it… as long as he was well… that was all joseph could ask for..

if the younger man didn’t want to see him, then so be it. after all these years, he still knew when to retreat.

❝ fine.. i’m sorry– i’ll leave you be. ❞

Well, that was unexpected, and it hit Caesar with the weight of guilt all of a sudden. He didn’t expect for the conversation to lead to an end so soon, but it was now that he realised that perhaps his passing has caused more grief than he thought. He wasn’t the one who was forced to continue living and save the world, without the company of a good friend.

How much pain did this old man had to endure? Caesar didn’t want to think on it to avoid putting himself in a more depressing state than he already was. He titled his head to the side in a somewhat prideful way and folded his arms. Instead of annoyance, he would have to appear as if he was going to tease the other man -- just like the old days.

« -- Are you giving up already ?  That isn’t like the JoJo I remembered... »

he didn’t want to believe it.. he couldn’t believe it.. but there he was… standing in front of him. he wondered if caesar re- cognized him.. he was smart, so he probably figured it out the second he spoke..

❝ ca… caesar… wait… please. ❞

if this REALLY was the man he trained with– and not some sort of delusion he was suffering from an old age, but.. this was caesar.

❝ it’s.. it’s really you… ❞ 

The way the old man expressed himself only made Caesar tense up. It didn’t really take long for that old coot to figure it out -- he was Joseph Joestar, of course, but the blond wanted to pretend this was all an illusion. He wanted to keep the man at a distance, yet he knew it wasn’t going to be an easy attempt. JoJo never made anything easy for him.

« ... Hey, old man, maybe it’s time for you to retire. »

maybe he was losing it.. jotaro would always tell him… but… there was just something bugging him.. and the more he stared at the blond, the more his heart hurt… why?

❝ look i’m sorry, but there is no need to be so rude.    weren’t you taught to respect your elders??  ❞

arguing with this teen… it was all so familiar.. he thought it  could be– but it shouldn’t, right? he’s been gone for over 50 years…

There was no mistake of the old’s man identity now -- Caesar was sure of it. Even so, he didn’t want to stick around for an encounter like this. It wasn’t the first time, after all.

                                            ┌  @bollaxfiore · ┘

❝ s… sorry.. i.. didn’t mean to bug you…   you just look familiar– ❞

Familiar... ?  Before Caesar could reflect on the meaning, he felt an unwelcoming feeling and a recognisable warmth radiating from the stranger's presence, and because of it, he reacted with annoyance.

« — Huh ?  Normally that’s something I’d hear from a lovely dame, but you...  You’re definitely an old man.  Maybe you’re senile. »

LEAVE ME ALONE

this was getting… super annoying. this time, he was certain he was going to punch him.. he’d gather some energy to blast that stupid cocky attitude out of him.. he was getting so sick of it!

he turned back towards the blond, almost livid. this was supposed to be a relaxing a day, and caesar was just!! ruining it!! 

he turned back towards the italian, a finger pointing at him.

❝ well if you didn’t mean it, then why haven’t    you said anything?! this is stupid!! ❞

he inhaled a bit, cheeks puffing out a bit. he had it with him!!   

❝ really– what’s your problem?! ❞

On a typical day, if Joseph was angry, there was usually anger thrown back at him from his blond partner. The two were always so impulsive. It would take them both a while, especially after a ripple fight, to settle down. One fight, however, was one to end all fights -- and it led Caesar to his death. He would have to live through that fight again, wouldn’t he? If he followed his family’s destiny... It was the only way Joseph could keep on living and save the world.

But unlike any former fight, Caesar didn’t find himself growing angry in return, instead he was more hesitant in his decision. The young Joestar was rightfully frustrated with all the vague messages and stubborn attitude, and the blond could fuel that anger more and receive a punch or two in the following moment. But Caesar couldn’t help but suddenly become distracted, watching the way Joseph puffed his cheeks in a childish manner.

He always did have that charm to him.

Caesar had to let out a sigh to that thought. After all the tension they were having and his inner conflict swaying his behaviour, he had the chance to feel like his old self again -- the Caesar who found Joseph endearing sometimes. It calmed him down just slightly, able to collect his thoughts slowly as he lifted a hand to run it against his scarf in a self-conscious way. Of course he had to think of his scars now, hidden away even when he worn more casual outfits. He always had to have a scarf at least, to hide the more noticeable scars on his neck. He could never let his partner see them.

And then, he had to conclude this tension. He had to calm it down and save it from their last argument. He sighed again and averted his gaze.

why isn’t he just telling him the truth?! ceasar was stubborn but gosh… this was the worst!! he just wanted things to be normal!! and this was far from it! the italian would normally just pester and then move on, but…

he felt a twinge of rage go through him when he was called an idiot.. and it almost hurt. what the actual fuck.

❝fine! go ahead and act that way! i’m not going to stand   here and get insulted! moron!! ❞

he turned away, pissed off. ceasar had a lot of nerve! if he wasn’t tired from the training earlier, he’d totally deck him!   

Caesar’s heart sank when he felt Joseph’s sudden rage. He had already felt guilty for hiding such a big secret from the other youth, he was guilty for acting a bit more stubborn and rude than usual and most of all, he was guilty for lying. On a normal occasion, they always had their bickering and childish insults, but this time there was a personal touch that lit a great fiery in the young Joestar. Caesar knew he has gone a bit far in his behaviour, but he couldn’t let himself become vulnerable in such a situation. He had to take the blame, he had to treat Joseph unfairly, so that he may continue the future he was destined for. It was for his own good.

But wait -- why didn’t Joseph try to punch him? Wasn’t he furious?

With his partner's back turned to him, Caesar could already feel the warmth fading away, even though the other man has not yet taken his leave. There was a lingering silence after Joseph's little outburst, Caesar could tell, and it nearly made him weak in the knees.

« I’m not acting this way because I want to, »  came a loose thought through words.

No -- he shouldn’t have said that.

Regret immediately struck the Italian man quietly, finding himself avoiding a gaze at his partner’s figure. Again, he was conflicted, just when he thought he found a resolve he was going to stick to, no matter how absurd his behaviour was becoming. No, it was that feeling again -- the need for a certain sunny warmth, a feeling he has experienced ever since he came back from where he belong.

He was meant to be dead, and stay dead. His presence here was a wrench thrown into the fabric of time, twisting it into something distorted, and he wouldn’t be surprised if he had already changed Joseph’s future by existing once more. He could at least try to make things right and lead Joseph into the correct path, but the reality of his death crawled right back into his mind as he attempted to push it away for a selfless decision -- his need for Joseph’s warmth becoming stronger.

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