FEAR THE LAMB

shaking like a wet cat. hell followed with us save me save me hell followed with us

love seeing someone reblog my hfwu post that got semi popular then going to their blog and seeing a large quantity of hfwu posts in short succession. and i Know you just got in too deep and are trying to consume all the fandom content at once because the book encompassed you for the time being. it’s hilarious i see it all the time. Ah. Yep. someone just finished the book that Changed me and it probably Changed them too. hope they’re having a good night going down the hfwu tag.

one of my favorite things about nick's love for benji is how he's always just there. if benji needs to pull down his mask and throw up, nick is standing quietly next to him to block him from sight. if benji needs to take out an entire death squad for vengeance, nick is there with a pistol covering his flank. if benji's hair is falling in his face nick is pinning it back with bobby pins. if benji's skin is falling off the bone nick is bandaging his arms to hold him together. words fail him so often, but this expression of love he can do. when benji needs him, he will be there. and he always is.

i too need someone to teach me how to make bead lizards and sit beside me while i fight off the monstrous force slowly consuming me from the inside out

constantly revisiting that moment of impact when nick is watching seraph in new nazareth and realizes all at once that he’s deeply in love with benji and has been for a long time. thinking about andrew joseph white's portrayal of autistic love and how difficult it can be to identify until it hits you all at once and refuses to be ignored. losing my mind over how horrifically in love nick and benji are and how nick’s struggle to recognize and name that love doesn’t make it less real or present. pondering…………………..