in the end.

Aw, you. You’re making me blush - and that’s really not easy. Compared to that machine-like built Michael has I’m scrawny, I’m okay with admitting to it. People just don’t listen, but what else is new? It’s all about aesthetics nowadays. You’re a true friend, I love that.

What have you been up to, lately? New music? Bird watching? Giraffe watching?! I hope not - not without me.

I’ve got ways of makin’ people feel good about themselves, and feel the deep love I’ve got for them! Okay, okay, that’s fair. But y’all actors fluctuate like nothing I’ve ever seen before. Some days you’re machine-built for a role and then next thing I know all muscle mass is gone for the next role. Y’all fascinate me. Real friends only, that’s the motto!

New music, promoting the tour, getting the last kicks of the show out. Giraffe watching?! Without you?! I wouldn’t dare that sort of betrayal.

@bobbyhcll - save me? I think I’m getting baby-fied. I need some adult companionship that isn’t my wonderful wife… are you around, or are you on the road right now?

I am around, I’m not going on the road until June. I got you, man! One dose of cool uncle Bobby, comin’ up! Anything you need? Aside from some time with one of the dopest dudes you know? No, I’m kidding. 

Yes dogs are allowed! Just pollen and grass she’s allergic too. Thankfully we’ve gotten her medcine so she’s a wee bit less miserable but hasn’t wanted to venture outside just yet.

Oh, great! Panda and Fry love kids. I think that’s just the corgi mentality. She’s allergic to grass? Poor baby! That breaks my gangster heart, it really does. The medicine is suppose to repress the symptoms, yes?

That’s what I thought. I don’t even remotely look like him, I’m just a scrawny, tall Brit? Aw, thanks, Bobby, that’s all I needed to hear. What a pick-me-up.

You don’t –– you’re better lookin’, dude! Man, fuck that! You’re not scrawny! Have you seen those football calves? Though I do think that accent should have thrown them off, but sometimes, people don’t even pay attention. I got you, bud. One-man cheerleading section.

My four year old has really bad allergies this season and I feel so bad. I’ve been trying to get her medicine but the place back in the UK doesn’t want to ship over her prescription. So the poor wee one is doped up on children allergy medicine and sad.  Does anyone want to come over and cheer Sapphire up? She’s only allergic to pollen so pets are welcomed. Poor Ryland is so confused why his sister is all sniffles and blowing her nose. Also mama could use some friends.

Sorry to hear about your kid, that sucks, man. I can’t even imagine having to deal with sick kids. Must break your heart. If pets are allowed, i’d love to bring my dogs to try and cheer them up! They’re two little corgis that love playing and kids and just cuddling up. It’s basically a miracle cure. Well, that’s what I think anyways. Do you only have two kiddos? Also, I’m Bobby by the way. 

Someone was absolutely incensed today, because I turned out not to be Killmonger from Black Panther… has anyone of you ever been mistaken for someone else?

Y’know, that’s bullshit. You’re so much prettier than him anyways. It’s their loss.

Neither do I, but really, just imagine - they cannot yell at you, so it might be that they use other means of communication - and that’s their go-to ammunition. They’d win on any given day, let’s face it. You did? Why? How? A running fountain might be something they’d love you forever for. Of course, mate - and I cannot wait, either. I mean, you really introduced me to new music, and I loved it. You are recording the next album already? We knew, but we didn’t want to tell until now. It’s a boy and a girl, Julian and Sadie, and they’re the cutest, most perfect little humans. Aw, thank you, means a lot coming from you. They’d have the coolest uncle teaching them the ropes until they can do it quickly and with their eyes closed. You need to, it’s spectacular.

The would, I’m convinced pigeons are evil. Actually, someone told me that the pigeons in San Fransisco are like mutated because they basically bathing in motor oil which is absolutely not okay and stresses me out. Imagine those mutated birds around here? I’d have a heart attack. I did, I did, it was something else. Those birds are intense, we had a stare off for like 15 minutes before I gave up. I’m going to set it up this weekend, yeah, that’ll do it. I’ve been working on it for about a year but took a break to do Bobby Tarantino II ‘cause I knew it wouldn’t be done before March –– I’ve got that whole dropping a project every year going for me and I hadn’t done a mixtape in a little bit, so I figured why not. I’m glad that you’ve opened up to a whole new world of music and that you enjoy it! That’s so important to me. How adorable and what good names too, Julian and Sadie. I saw the instagram post and Taron, let me tell you, I straight up cried. Not gangster tears or anything, just like real tears. I had a lot of explaining to do to 6ix and Lenny.  Oh, wow, yeah, I’m going to be the coolest uncle.  We’ve got rubik’s cubes, we’re got baby skateboards, and all the baby stuff. It’ll be cool as hell. 

Family never ends with blood, that’s kind of obvious at this point. There’s family we were born with and then there’s family that we chosen for ourselves and both of them are equally valid in my eyes, yes. Oh, boy, you don’t even know. There was actually this awesome dude I once found on the internet who made this super neo-rap kind of a statement about how many pointless things are being taught in schools and I was snapping and clapping the whole time, because he was making so many true statements, seriously. I think… if I ever have kids of my own, I might actually think about homeschooling, even. There’s a whole different community feeling about it and I’m living for it. – Ah, yeah, great choices. Oh, man… hold on to your seat, because there’s a lot. Of course, I have to mention the holy trio – Biggie, Tupac and Nas. I love Kendrick, too. Who doesn’t fucking love Kendrick, right? Lately, I really enjoy listening to Post Malone, actually. He’s pretty chill. And Will Smith. Obviously.

Hey, just for the record, I didn’t say that they’re uptight in there… I just said that the district seems like they would be, you know? Like, the whole feeling of a rich countryside that’s not really a countryside…? But yeah, Bayou is where it’s at, bro, totally.

Absolutely, I’m glad that other people also share that view. I don’t get when people believe that family is only blood –– it doesn’t make sense. You’ve gotta send me a link to that! I don’t think I’ve ever seen it and I feel like I would really resonate with it. You think so? I don’t know if I’d be able to do homeschooling but that’s cool if you’d want to! Would you teach them or would you hire someone? I think Montessori’s are cool, so maybe I’d do that but I’d also have to talk to whoever I had kids with, which is a different story. There are also these outside schools in like Scotland but I wouldn’t want my kids away in a different country. Okay, bigger question –– Tupac or Biggie if you had to choose, and there is a right answer. Who doesn’t love Kendrick, people who don’t know good rap and hip-hop, that’s who hates Kendrick. Post is great, Will Smith, the O.G! I’m such a hip-hop dude, it’s a little too much sometimes.

Ah, yes. We’re from Maryland, Baltimore to be exact. Haha, that local-ish band could definitely be us. I kind of did. But I also moved into that apartment a year ago and just knew I’d eventually want to get a house somewhere. Guess part of me was just ready to leave Nashville.

Oh, no way! I’m from Gaithersburg! ‘Bout an hour from Baltimore. I could ask but I haven’t talked to those girls in a little bit so it might be an odd question. That makes sense, absolutely. What made you move to Nashville before hand? 

Oh, man, that’s a long list. I have C3PO and R2D2, a couple of dinosaurs from Jurassic Park, different kinds of weapons from several movies and shows… and a replica of the Captain’s chair from Star Trek. I collect them, but I build a lot of them myself, too. And I do skate a little, but I’ll admit to not being very good at it. The board that I have with me right now is a OneWheeled- Electric Skateboard. How cool is that? Have you ever been on one of those before? It’s funny that you should mention Royal Hills. That’s the part of town that I moved into. Are you one of my neighbors?

Oh! No way. That’s killer –– you a big Star Wars fan? That’s so neat, man. Is it like... your thing? To make them? Oh, but the more you do it, the better you get! Yeah! I owe one, actually! It’s not my favorite but it’s a neat thing to ride around on! I think electric boards are cool but I’m a big fan of the traditional boards. Oh, cool, cool! Yeah, that’s me, m’Bobby! I’m the one where the music comes from every once in a while. Welcome to the neighborhood!

Almost my man, almost we are pretty damn close. She’s just turned two months old so we’re still adjusting to newborn life. It feels like rocket science that’s for sure but it’s slowly getting done. Thank you, I’m Alex and it’s nice to meet you!

That’s so impressive, I know some people that have been here forever nad are still unpacking. I don’t know how that’s possible but total kudos! Oh man, congratulations! Kids are so cool. At least when you get it done, you won’t have to touch it for a little bit. Alex, it’s a pleasure! Where you movin’ in from?

“Don’t judge me I really needed this after that bloody flight. The amount of turbulence that was on it was enough to juggle my intestines around like a fucking circus act. I ought to sue. How’s your day been though?”

“No judgement, no judgement! What’s your poison though, just regular cigarettes or what? Oh, sorry ‘bout that. Where did you move from? Uh, it’s been a good day! Worked on my next album, figured out details for the summer tour, lots of cool stuff!”

Hello Royal! Some of you guys may know me from a little show called M/ythbusters, but in case you don’t, my name is Adam! I’ve spent the last few hours helping the movers unload all of my replicas and props and everything else into my new “cave” here in town. It’s something that I got a little nervous about since I didn’t want anything to break on the way over. Anyways, since it will take forever to take everything out of the boxes, I want to take a small break and do a little exploring on my board. Anyone have any suggestions on what I should check out first?

Adam, nice to meet you! Welcome to Royal! Replicas of what or is that too personal? Hold on, hold on –– your board. Like a skateboard? Dude, please tell me you skate. Holy shit. That would depends where you moved into. Though you might wanna explore your own neighborhood first. If not, I would suggest Royal Hills. As the name suggests, they’ve got some great hills to skate down.

The wife and I are almost fully unpacked though I must admit that setting up our baby’s nursery has taken up most of our time, putting a crib together isn’t rocket science right, I don’t know why it’s taking so long for me to figure out.

You’re unpacked already? That’s impressive, especially trying to set up a baby’s nursery. I guess it makes sense though, cause... a baby needs that stuff. Everything else can wait for a little bit. How old is your baby? I mean, maybe it’s rocket science when it’s your first time –– like Ikea furniture. But welcome to Royal! I’m Bobby!

So you’ve heard a bunch of songs? Glad to know you enjoy those. It’s not about knowing all the songs, honestly. I’m just happy if you know and enjoy a few songs. That’s what it’s all about. Trust me, I tried. I never got anything close to being as good as Zack and that frustrated me, so I stopped. I was looking for a new house, was definitely ready to move out of the apartment I was living in, and when I stumbled upon this place and the house, I just knew this was it.

For sure, you guys are from Maryland, right? Unless I’m thinking about another band, but I remember all my homegirls really getting into a local-ish band when we were like thirteen, fourteen. From what I’ve heard, it’s some great stuff. I’ve gotta keep listening, I’ve got a list of artists that I’m making my way through their discography. That’s fair, sometimes that happens. Especially if you’re not enjoying it so you might as well stop. Oh, obviously, that makes sense. Did you just outgrow your old place? I’m convinced that Royal has an aura or whatever that makes everyone feel that sort of way. 

Basically, yeah. We’re all super close, so it would just be a lot of fun, I’m sure about it. See, I guess that was one of the reasons I left. I started my acting career in LA – I was living and going to college in New York at the time – and I never really looked back, because I was happy about the life I was living. I think the stereotype of a youth having to finish some kind of higher education to reach a success in life is a bit outdated, you know? Hey, I’m not judging. I probably wouldn’t be able to name any country artists or something, because I never was raised on that kind of music, so I totally get you. Rap, however… you’ve got my attention. Beastie Boys? Or something more classic, like Biggie? Come on, man, tell me your poison, I wanna hear all about that.

Ah, yeah… you know, Royal Hills seemed like the kind of place where the rich people with big families and genetically modified dogs would live, you know? A bit Stepford Wife-y to me, really. I’m at the Bayou d’Or – can’t really escape the ocean, not even if I wanted to.

That’s cool –– being close to your family. My house is like that a little bit but with my chosen family, y’know? I’ve got quite a few of my guys living with me, which is awesome. It’s like a party every day. Once you get your career off the ground, then like... fuck it, y’know? You’ll never have that moment again, college, school, all of that will still be there. Hey, me too. I hundred percent. People learn in all different type of ways and to deem that one way makes them smarter than another is bullshit. I want the conversation about education to change, so bad. Shit, me either, girl. I feel like that’s the one genre I won’t be able to fuck with. Never say never and all that bullshit but I’ve got doubts. Oh, does that? Alright, Wu-Tang Clan, Biggie, always, I’m all over the board with rap, really. What about you? Since that’s what caught your attention?

You are all living together now? That’s amazing, but also a little terrifying. Aren’t you afraid you’re never going to get any time alone? I know, right? I chose it, because it was so green, and I love it. My cats love it, too - they don’t hunt birds, though they love to scare them sometimes. I know, right? They know what’s up, and they tell it as they see it. None of that PC shit. I was at a wedding a while back, where the flower girl, their daughter, piped up after their “I do’s” and told them that it’s “I would love to”, because “I do” sounds impolite - like how cool is that? I think that’s a great assumption - that roses are just protecting themselves. I feel like the whole town has been flower-ified. It’s so great to see!

Yeah, we’re all living together now! I mean, no, not really. We’ve lived together before and when I was in California, they all basically lived at my house anyways. A lot of the guys like Big Lenbo and 6ix are essential to have just cause those are the guys that I make music with and I record at home in my own booth so it made more sense for us to live together. Cats that hunt birds are a thing? I thought that they were all pretty chill around birds? I thought cats were chill in general? Isn’t that why people prefer them over dogs? Seriously? Wow, what an iconic little girl, knows what to say when to say it. That’s the stuff I’m talking about. Kids don’t care! I’m glad someone else agrees with that logic, makes me feel less crazy. It’s beautiful! It add so much color to this place, man, I love Spring!